Blessing and Being Blessed
I love to receive personal blessings. One of the best blessing-givers I have ever met was the late Irish poet and mystic John O’Donohue. I remember at the end of our various recording projects, we would always celebrate by going out to dinner and having a few drinks. One night, after dinner, I shyly asked John if he would be willing to give me a blessing (I just couldn’t let him fly back to Ireland the next morning without asking). We walked together to a private spot outside of the restaurant, under a tree. He then cupped his hands over my head and prayed out loud for several minutes, asking that goodness come, that any obstacles in my path be removed, that I be liberated from any shame or self-deprecation that was holding me back (quite honestly, I can’t remember exactly what he said, it was a long stream of consciousness invocation, but what I wrote here was the gist of it).
I will always remember that moment when John O’Donohue blessed me under a tree. It was like being injected with light.
Interestingly, since that time, I have requested blessings from all kinds of people (from Tibetan Buddhist teachers, from friends who seem to have healing abilities and from my partner Julie who is always willing to help me out with a blessing if I feel like I am facing a particularly difficult situation). I have also given blessings to all kinds of people in different kinds of circumstances. John O’Donohue spent 19 years as a Catholic priest, but I am not a priest of any kind. My point here is that we can all give and receive blessings, regardless of whether we have been “officially sanctioned.” All that is necessary is a willingness to invoke infinite benevolence for the sake of someone else. Then there is a meeting, a mysterious meeting that is beyond the personal and infuses the person with infinite possibility.
Recently, I interviewed Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés for “Insights at the Edge” (the weekly free podcast series that I host). I asked her about the power of blessings, as she ends each one of her online teachings with a blessing-prayer for the listeners. Her comments hit home. She talked about how the blessing withheld is as important as the blessing given. I thought of situations in my own life in which out of competitiveness or meanness, I have actually withheld from someone my belief in them or my investment in their success. CPE (as I call Dr. Estés) also spoke of how we can bless people through our work, and through writing and poetry, and how there are many people who are literally waiting and in need of the blessings that can only pour through each of us.
I love the idea of blessings flowing freely from us and to us. We each have the freedom and the birthright to invoke blessings at any time. We can scream blessings from the rooftops, silently look through eyes that bless, or say something to someone that is exactly the blessed encouragement they need to hear. It doesn’t have to be formal or even seen. Blessing and being blessed can be a way of opening to a field of grace, a field that is always available, ready to fill us and others in response to our heart’s call.
Tags: Blessing and Being Blessed, blessings, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, John O’Donohue, tami simon
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March 30th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Thank you, Tami, that was a lovely post. It gave me a lot to contemplate. I feel as if I have received a blessing just by reading your words here.
May you and your company continue to flourish, providing everyone the opportunity to receive the benefits of the precious teachings that are offered. May your great generosity in providing these free podcasts, so full of profound wisdom and insight, be returned to you a hundredfold!
March 30th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Tami,
Thank you so much for this blog post.
At the end of last year, I reflected on the intentions I wanted to set for 2010.
I decided to set intentions for this year, rather than New Year’s Resolutions, because of the positive experiences I’ve had when I’ve set intentions during my yoga and meditation retreats at Kripalu.
After much reflection, a powerful intention emerged for me: “May Grace flow through me in 2010.”
I’ve tried to actualize this intention by cultivating presence – by staying in the moment, in the now as much as I can.
Your blog post has given me another powerful tool to let grace flow through me – to give blessings wherever and whenever I can.
Thanks so much for another timely post that is just what I need, just when I need it.
March 30th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
Aw Tami when are you gonna learn angels like you dont need blessings. That big ol heart of yours over flowith with so much kindness and compassion all you need to do is allow. Its all there already, nothing can be taken and nothing can be given. Keep inspiring the rest of us.
March 31st, 2010 at 9:02 am
this is wonderful, i think we so often forget to give and recieve blessings in the small ways, not needing a spiritual guru to provide them. I try very hard to give them freely and in action not just words. thank you once again for your words of wisdom, and I bless you today for bringing the words of such light beings to the masses.
April 1st, 2010 at 11:29 am
I’ve learnedthat not only can we ask to be blessed, it’s a requirement in life…regardless of tradition, ask and you shall recieve. Lifewise, to bless others is also a requirement. If you are the Tami Simon who was in my class at Swarthmore, I remember you and offer you a blessing on your life’s work!
April 19th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Only this morning I was talking to my daughter about how I felt a bit confused about why it was that I felt so soothed by receiving a blessing.
I am the only child in 26 grandchildren that was not christened as a Catholic. To this day I don’t know why, and when I have asked my mother, she told me that the Anglican church was the closest to our house.
I think there was more to this statement than meets the eye! So for many years, when I would visit with my cousins, we would go to mass, and when it was time for communion, all would go to line up, but my Aunts would always tell me that I was to stay put. I never knew why, but I felt jealous of my cousins being able to go and receive communion.
My father in law, when I was in my thirties, told me that I could go and receive a blessing if I wanted. What a revelation! So since that time I have received blessings. The last? It was at my lovely father in law’s funeral.
So why is a blessing in a church I don’t belong to so soothing? I think blessings are beyond the scripture, they are a reminder that we are worthy, and I am grateful that I realised that there are no ‘rules’ to being blessed.
Looking forward to Dangerous Old Woman #3 tomorrow
April 22nd, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Tami, It was so wonderful to happen upon this post. Many years ago your voice and Pema Chodron’s words on the cassette version of The Places that Scare You got me through some challenging times. Learning the Metta practice helped me soften towards myself and begin to be open & less fearful of ‘others.’ Based on a recommendation from the audiobook, I began to do (what I call) “drive-by blessings” by silently offering the verses of the Metta meditation, or anything else that came to my heart, as I passed people either walking or driving, especially those who seemed to be suffering, or who were intimidating to me.
I still remember the first time I did that on the elevator going in to work. I hated being in a climate-controlled highrise for hours – it felt like a prison from which I would never be released. But just that act of sending a silent blessing to a stranger brought a lightening to the whole environment! Here was something I could (secretly) do that was potentially helpful to others and also made me feel good. Remembering that first “blessing” while reading your post made me smile. Thanks!
April 26th, 2010 at 3:27 am
Thanks Tami,
Just found your website today and this wonderful post on Blessings.
From time to time I have offered blessing to others and then later on thought, under what official capacity I have granted the blessing and if I was “entitled” to do so.
Your post has made me realise it is the intention to share and invoke love and encouragement in others that is the only pre-requisite I require.
That is wonderful, I can just let the blessings flow.
Love and Blessings to you and your readers Tami.
Derek
I also have to mention the beatiful saying of intention from Dave Gerlits response – “May Grace flow through me.” What a beautiful intention to carry with you in your day to day life.
May 7th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Bless You! Bless You and Bless You and You and You and Bless…All…that is within our vision and All that is not…and All the world of nature… the young ,the old…Bless You! Bless You All!
pshew
May 7th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
Gael Chiarella Alba
gael@yokibics.com
http://www.yokibics.com
This is a powerful post Tami. Such goodness being reminded of what we are actually meant to do for each other…are called to do for each other…can choose to do for each other. Blessings galore to you and yours
May 9th, 2010 at 9:53 am
Thanks for this blessing post, Tami. It reminded me of the Yates poem:
My fiftieth year had come and gone;
I sat a solitary man in a London shop,
An open book and an empty chafe cup on a marble table top.
While on the shop and street I gazed,
Of a sudden my body blazed,
And twenty minutes more or less,
It seemed so great my happiness,
That I was blessed and I could bless.
—William Butler Yeats
May we all be overcome by this kind of grace.
May 15th, 2010 at 11:29 am
nury nuila-Stevens
I want to thank Sounds true for bringing to us Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes. It has been a blessing to hear her. I wish Sounds true a shower of blessings. Now, I will hear the podcast. Please, continue your good work. I have learned so much with you.
Very, very grateful.
Muchisimas gracias.
Peace,
Nury