E190: The Seat of Consciousness—Freedom Beyond the Ego

Tami Simon: Welcome to the Michael Singer Podcast, presented by Sounds True in partnership with Shanti Publications. For more information about Michael Singer’s work, access to all prior episodes and information about upcoming releases, we invite you to join us at michaelsingerpodcast.com.

Michael Singer: Jai guru dev, jai masters. People discuss free will. Everything you do willfully is done with will. You want your arm to move, you make it move. Nobody else did it. You did it. You sent energy — Shakti — you sent it down to those muscles, and they contracted, and they relaxed. How did you decide to do it? I don’t care. You just did. Your nose itched. Somebody yelled at you. You thought of something neat. Got scared. Whatever it is, you move that arm. That is free will. So don’t get into these things.

People say you don’t have free will. They say it with reason. They say it because they understand that you are the sum of your learned experiences. Therefore, it’s almost like habit. It’s like a reaction. Do you have free will? Well, no, because your sex drives are driving you, because your fear is driving you, and they say that’s not free will. Fair enough, because you do have drives — all kinds, not just physiological. Psychological. The things that make you act.

So they’re saying that you don’t really have free will. It’s not true. The truth of the matter is, if you really didn’t want to give in to anger, you could not give in to anger. You’ve done it. You’ve been in situations where you’re boiling with jealousy or with fear or anxiety, and it’s not proper to express it in that environment, and you hold it together, don’t you? Yes or no? You’ve held it together. You used will, didn’t you? You’re in there, and you’re in charge. You don’t act it out, do you? You don’t always take it, but you are in charge.

In fact, let’s get right down to it. You’re the only one in there. Mommy’s not in there. Daddy’s not in there. The snake’s not in there. The frog’s not in there. You’re in there. Oh, I should have started by asking — are you in there? How do you know? Don’t even bother answering. That’s how much you know you’re in there. Were you in there yesterday? Are you sure? Do you remember? It doesn’t matter. You know you were in there yesterday, don’t you? Were you in there ten years ago? Are you in there? That’s a good beginning. Happens to be the end also of all spirituality. You’re in there.

Are you alone in there? Well, in terms of other people, places, or things, yes, I’m alone in here. In terms of the fact that there are multiple layers of my being — one is out here. It’s called a physical body. Have you got one? How do you know? Okay, it lets you know. You know you got one. If I stick a pin in — ow, stop it, okay? You in there experience your physical body, and you in there have the ability to control your physical body. It’s still you in there. You’re in there. You’re this centered being, but you don’t stay centered. But you are in there, and you react to the body, and you express through the body.

Is that your only experience of being in there? Your body things, expressing through your body and experiencing through your body? No. I mean, here and there are these things called thoughts. I don’t see your thoughts. You don’t see your thoughts. How do you know there are thoughts? Are you sure there are thoughts? There are thoughts in there. Can they bother you? Can you have bothersome thoughts? Can you have nice thoughts? Can you have thoughts of all kinds of flavors and shapes and sizes — calm and tumultuous and bothersome and nice? There are these things called thoughts, and you know they are. Why? How do you know they’re there? Because you experience them. How do you know your body’s there? Because you experience it. You in there experience your thoughts.

I’ll send you home with some homework. See, it’s just that easy — every question so far, right? But you might have to contemplate it. Is it the same you in there that notices the thoughts as the you in there that notices what comes in through your eyes or what you feel in your body? It shouldn’t be hard, because there’s just one of you in there. You are experiencing what’s coming in through your senses, yes or no? Who is? You are.

I should’ve done it slower, with the different senses. Do you in there receive what’s coming in through your eyes? Are you sure? Do you in there receive what’s coming through your ears? Is it the same you? Of course it is. They don’t have to talk to each other. They don’t have to communicate. It’s coming back to the same — I’m a computer guy — the end user. There’s an end user back there. Yes, there’s vocal recognition, and yes, there’s visual, and yes, there’s optics. But guess what? It’s the same you experiencing all of those. That’s you in there.

They have a name for the you in there. Ready? The self. No, the self is some spiritual… No, it’s not. It’s saying you — the real you, who’s actually in there all the time. Are you in there all the time? When you get angry, when anger takes over you and you’re screaming and yelling, are you in there? You’re experiencing everything? You’re experiencing anger, expressing the anger? Who is? You are. So get that straight.

This thing — the self — that’s not a mystical thing. It’s you. Yogananda called the highest spiritual state… He didn’t call it enlightenment. He called it self-realization. The more you grow on this path, the more you realize you’re always in there. But are you always aware that you’re the one that’s in there? No. Why? Because you get lost in your thoughts.

Can you get lost in your thoughts and then come back and realize you were lost in your thoughts? Yes or no? Can you be reading a book and turn the pages very regularly and realize you didn’t read a single word? Not one single word got in there. Your eyes passed across it, but you in there were paying attention to something else. Can you do that — pay attention to something else? See? You’re in there. We have will. The problem is, it’s sort of like your solution is that you’re conscious, and the problem is you’re conscious. The spiritual question is not, are you conscious. You’re obviously conscious. It’s what you’re conscious of. It’s not is the light shining. It’s what it’s shining on, because that light can move and can shine on anything, can’t it? But what it’s shining on is what it’s experiencing. What you’re conscious of is what you’re experiencing.

Self-realization is when you’re conscious of being conscious. The object of consciousness is consciousness itself. That’s what Patanjali says in the Yoga Sutras. He defines meditation not as pratyahara — the ability to transcend your senses and not get lost in them — and not as dharana, which is the ability to concentrate one-pointedly, totally on one thing inside with no distractions at all. He didn’t define that as meditation. He said dhyana. What is dhyana? That one-pointed awareness that was focused on a candle or focused on a mantra or focused on a thought or focused on your breath — that one-pointed awareness is now focused on consciousness itself. It’s focused on the source of consciousness, not the object of consciousness, and he called that meditation.

That is meditation. It’s not what you’re meditating on. It’s who’s doing it, who’s in there. And that master called it self-realization. Nice word for it, isn’t it? You’ve realized the nature of who’s in there. You’ve realized the nature of who’s in there — not what it’s aware of. What is in there that is aware?

And what every one of them found out was the G-O-D word. When you’re not distracted by your thoughts, when you’re not focusing on your emotions, when you’re not caught up in what’s coming in through your senses, you get to be you — just the you in there. And every one of them, of every tradition, said when that state was reached, it was like being with God.

I was no longer my… I usually do it at the end. I’m going to do it right now. You in there — let’s talk about it. Make believe you’re not distracted. That’s what we call meditation, right? You’re not distracted by your thoughts. You’re not distracted by your emotions. You’re not distracted by the physical things that are coming in through your body. It’s possible. Do you think it’s hard to not be distracted by the physical things coming through your five senses? You do it every single night. Your consciousness withdraws from your senses, otherwise you don’t fall asleep. Patanjali describes that in the great Yoga Sutras, one of the greatest treatises on yoga. He calls it pratyahara — let’s give it a big name — withdrawing from the senses. You do it every night.

Are you still conscious when you withdraw from the senses? You’re not conscious that you withdraw from the senses, or you’d have to be conscious of the senses, but you’re conscious. Do you have dreams? How do you know? Shh. This is a spiritual discussion. How do you know you have dreams? I guess because I’m still conscious. Oh, so the dreams are the things I’m conscious of. Instead of being conscious of what’s coming through my senses, I’m conscious of what’s going on in there in my dreams. Is it the same consciousness?

When you wake up, do you say, “I had this amazing dream”? How do you know? You weren’t there. I walked in the room, I called to you, you didn’t even answer, you didn’t wake up. Nothing. What do you mean you had a dream? How would you know? Because you were there — the same you. Your consciousness was just withdrawn from your senses.

See? It’s a spiritual discussion, isn’t it? We’re talking about you in there. That’s the self. So you have dreams. Have you ever gone to sleep, woke up in the morning and said to somebody, “I slept so deep I didn’t have any dreams”? Yes or no? How do you know? How do you know there were no dreams? I thought you weren’t there. You’re always there. You’re always there.

When science and medicine talk about the unconscious state — I’ve looked this up carefully — they’re saying that your consciousness is not aware of the outside world. You are in an unconscious state. Doesn’t mean you’re not in there. People have near-death experiences. They say you flatlined. Well, you’re surely not in there then. How come you come back and talk about white lights and tunnels and seeing relatives? By the way, I don’t care if you really saw that or not — you were aware that something was going on in there. You’re always there.

Can we just stop for a moment? You’re always there. Ready? And you will always be there. That is the nature of consciousness. It was in the beginning before all else was created. It will be in the end after all else falls away. Never was a time it was not. Never will be a time it is not. It is what is. All right?

Now, what was I going to tell you? When you come back far enough to where your thoughts are not distracting you, your emotions are not distracting you — it’s meditation, right? Or deep sleep. They’re not distracting you. Your body’s not distracting you. Are you enlightened? No. Are you self-realized? No. You’re still aware of yourself. You’re not thinking about it, but you’re aware of your being. You’re aware that you exist. Actually, we should call that a semi-super conscious state. Very deep state, very peaceful. Of course it’s peaceful — there’s nothing distracting you. You can have a restless sleep. You were distracted the entire time while you were sleeping. You didn’t get very far away. The thoughts were bothering you, and you didn’t feel very relaxed in the morning, did you? Versus if you go way back there, and those states you talk about — it went so deep, there were no thoughts, there were no dreams. You wake up very, very refreshed. Because you went further back.

But what’s the difference between being there — I’ll use your words — sitting in witness consciousness? You like that word, right? Mindfulness, witness consciousness. Is witness consciousness enlightenment? Absolutely not. Witness consciousness is not enlightenment. Witness consciousness is coming back to the seat of consciousness from which you look down and witness your thoughts, and witness your emotions, and witness the body, and witness the world. Most people can’t even do that. Why? Because they’re so distracted by their thoughts and so distracted by their emotions and distracted by the world that they don’t get back to witness consciousness.

People always say you don’t learn anything — you realize that you always knew it. You’re always in there, but you are definitely lost in your emotions and your thoughts almost all the time. And the body. And they work together. Something happens outside, it makes your thoughts go, makes your emotions go, which makes your thoughts go, which makes the outside… I mean, you’re on your own. In Living Untethered I call it the three-ring circus, right? Got three little rings going on there pulling at your consciousness. If you get back to true witness consciousness, what does it mean? It means you notice there’s a thought. You’re not the thought. It doesn’t even pull you down into it. It just comes and goes. You all think that’s a deep state. It is a deep state relatively, but it’s not very deep. Why? Because you’re still separate. You still experience yourself — who’s there looking at what you’re looking at — as a separate entity.

The greater states, the ones the masters went into, are when you’re there for so long and having been through so many experiences you had to go through, to where they don’t pull you down. My God, I’ll cry. Can we talk at this level? They don’t pull you down into them. Can they be there? Yeah. But they just pass right through. They don’t have enough pull on your consciousness to distract you. I told you — they once asked Ramakrishna, one of the greatest masters ever to live on the face of the earth, unbelievable how deep that being was. They asked him, “Master, does an enlightened being ever feel anger?” And he said, “Yes, but it’s like writing on water.” Just passes right through it. Can you read what you wrote? No. It didn’t pull you into it. It just passed through.

So when you’re back there and you reach a state — and we’re going to talk about how you get there, and you may be very surprised by how you get there — if you’re back there and things are coming through the eyes, things are coming through the ears, maybe a thought is being created, maybe an emotion comes up and goes, but it doesn’t pull you into it, it’s called becoming established in the seat of consciousness.

You’re not being pulled away from the one that’s aware. It can still be a little aware, but it doesn’t get pulled down, so it stays in the seat. You can live your life that way. You listen to me. You can run a business. You can be married. You can have children. You can do everything. You can protest. It has nothing to do with what’s going on below where you sit. It’s just not pulling you down into it. Can you have strong political views and not get pulled down into anger, fear, judgment, hatred? Yes. Yes. Yes, you can. They’re there. You have a personality. It’s there. You understand that? You have tendencies to think certain ways and so on, but you’re noticing those thoughts. You’re not lost in those thoughts. You’re not married to those thoughts. You’re not getting involved in those thoughts.

You can be driving your car and someone runs a red light. You’re ramming your brakes. The car goes spinning around, and thank God you know how to drive decently and you don’t hit anything, and guess what you do? You turn around and just keep driving. You don’t even tell anybody. It didn’t have enough of an impression on you to leave an impression on you. Can you ever have that state? Don’t answer me yet till I trick you. You’re in that state at least 95% of the time — every single thing that comes into your senses passes right through. The white lines on the road, the clouds that go by, the person you don’t know — all of it. Do you experience it? Sure. Do you drive by trees? How do you know? Because they come in and they go by.

But what if you drive by a tree that looks a lot like the one you fell out of when you were five? All of a sudden, bye-bye. When will you come back? I don’t know. It stimulated something inside that brought up something strong — an emotion, a thought, a fear, a desire. Those are strong things, fears and desires, are they not? Kind of hard to sit back there with a burning fear or burning desire. You get pulled into the thing. Why? Because if it’s fear, you want to get away from it. If it’s desire, you want to get it. In other words, I have to do something about that. It wasn’t a white line on the road. It wasn’t a cloud passing by. I have some action item here.

I can’t be feeling this fear. Why? Because I don’t like it. I don’t want to feel the fear. I have to go yell at people or do something or run away or get rich and sail off somewhere. I have to do something. I have to create a life where I don’t feel the fear. Well, then you’re busy. Then you got pulled down, didn’t you? You couldn’t handle the fear. You couldn’t handle the experience. You handle the white lines. You handle the fact that it was raining yesterday — but not if you wanted to go camping with someone you really love. No, you’re not okay that it rained yesterday.

So if you don’t have to do anything about it, that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it. Really make that distinction. Let’s go slowly. You don’t have to do something about it. You’re married with children and you decide to take tennis lessons. This is standard stuff. You decide to take tennis lessons and he’s really cute and you get a little bit attracted. Don’t blush. Do you have to do anything about it, or can it just be an experience that comes in and passes through? Same with fear, same with desire. But if it pulls you down into it, you’re not there anymore, because you have to act. You have to use your will to do something about it. You didn’t handle that very well, did you?

Has anybody ever had problems handling things like that, or like anything? Do you ever not? That’s spiritual growth. You’re already established in the seat of self. You just get distracted from there. As I’ve grown, my teachings have evolved. It is not about going to God. It is about not leaving. You’re already there. You’re just being pulled down into your thoughts, your emotions, your physical experiences. They are distracting you enough to where you’ve become addicted to staring at them.

Do you have a personality? No, you don’t. It’s something you pulled around yourself to protect yourself and define yourself, and then you present it to people, and you hope they like you, and you worry about whether they like you. That’s pretty complicated in there, isn’t it? Who did all that? You did. Why? Because you couldn’t handle it passing through.

What? I don’t know — pretty much anything. Now, seriously, can we give an example? You love somebody a real lot, really tremendous love, and you’re embraced. It’s just one of those beautiful moments, and you can’t help yourself, and so you say with such depth of heart, “God, I just love you so much. I can’t even handle how much I love you.” And they don’t say anything back. Or they do say something back, so you say, “I just love you so much. I can’t even handle it.” “Yeah, I love you, too. How you doing?” That’s how much you can handle. It has to be exactly the way you want it, at the right time, in the right tone, in the right everything.

Take a breath. No wonder you’re caught. Pretty sensitive in there, isn’t it? Can you get scared of a mosquito? Can you walk out into the field, see a little rustle in the grass, and get scared? Could have been a snake — and it could have been a rattlesnake. You know what? It could have been a beetle. Doesn’t matter to you. You’re going to make a thing out of it. I don’t like walking in the woods. I don’t swim in the ocean. Why? What are you, crazy? There are sharks. Do any of you swim in the ocean? Some people don’t. It’s like you got caught.

And now we get down to what I always teach you. To me — and I don’t have to argue for it — that’s the fall from the garden. I know what state you’re in. You’re a very great being. You’re filled with joy. You’re filled with ecstasy. You’re filled with divine presence all the time. That is who you are. You are Sat-Chit-Ananda — eternal conscious ecstasy. That’s the truth, period. Every one of you, every person — that’s what’s there. But it is distracted and pulled down, and then when it doesn’t feel good, or feels too good… It feels too good, you don’t want it to go away. It doesn’t feel good, you want it to go away. In both cases, you have been pulled down and become the actor instead of the experiencer.

And then you build — out of the things you hold onto, the experiences you cling to — you hold on. I always kid around with you guys and say the funniest thing I’ve ever seen about human beings is that they’re a very funny species. Why? If something really, really bothers them, but it only lasted for a few minutes, they keep it forever. Don’t they? You will always remember that almost-accident. You will always remember what somebody said that hurt you so much. Why would a species — especially the most intelligent species in creation — think it’s wise to hold onto and keep forever that which hurt them the most?

That’s Freud. It’s called suppression. Repression and suppression are: it happened, I experienced it, I know I experienced it, but I didn’t like experiencing it, and I don’t ever want to think about it ever again. You know we don’t talk about that around your father. You know you can’t. I told you you can’t talk about that. He gets all upset. Why? Because he’s got this stuff he kept in there, and you touched it. Anybody got any stuff in there? And you’ve got to be careful that it doesn’t get touched.

A normal human being has devoted their life to avoiding the things that happened before that didn’t feel good, and trying to make happen again that which made them feel good. And people come to me and say, “But isn’t it good to go with your desires?” And why would I want to feel fear? To devote your life to hiding from yourself — that’s hilarious. No, I’m in love with you, and yes, I know you just got a job in Phoenix, Arizona, and I just can’t go there. I’m sorry. I can’t go with you. Why? There are rattlesnakes in Phoenix. I saw them on the web. You literally devote your life to the garbage you stored inside.

That’s who you pick for your mate, that’s what you pick for everything. If somebody says to you, “You don’t have children?” “No, I don’t have children.” “Okay, fine. Why?” “When I grew up, I had a terrible time with my parents. It was really rough, and then they got divorced. I don’t want to have kids, put them through that.” That sounds rational to you, right? “Do you have children?” “Oh, lots of them — twelve.” “I wanted our football team.” Why? Well, I grew up in a big family and everybody got along. It was wonderful. Well, not everybody had a big family where everybody got along, but that’s how you think. You’ve been patterned by your past experiences.

Psychology says man is the sum of his learned experiences. You’re not. You’re the consciousness that’s being distracted by the sum of your learned experiences. How’s that?

So what does it take to be able to reach the highest states, now that we’ve laid some of the groundwork about why? That is a fall from the garden. I told you that. You’re back here, but you’re not. Why? You fell. Into what? Into you. You fell into the I, me, mine. You fell into your past experiences and the model you built inside your psyche about who you are and what you like and what you don’t like, and what you prefer, and what you can handle, and what you can’t handle. That consciousness falling into ego, falling into the psyche.

Do you have to? No. I told you at the start of this program — there are times where you control that. Maybe you breathe. Maybe someone’s talking to you, saying things that are bothering you, and you say, “Whoa, wait. If you’re going to talk about that, I need a moment.” By all means, do what you need to do to not freak out. Do what you need to do to stay relatively centered. Meditate in the morning, meditate in the afternoon, take some time. Do mantra. Yes, yes, yes. Why? Because otherwise I don’t want to see what’s coming out of you — what’s in there. That’s what’s coming out: what got hit in there.

And don’t you for one moment think that you decide what you like or decide what you don’t like. That is not true. They’re programmed into you by your past experiences. And so you get to the point where you understand you have been programmed. That’s what your ego is. Your ego literally is what you held onto — mostly because you didn’t like the things that happened. The ratio between what you held onto because you liked it and want it to happen again, versus what you don’t want to happen again, is a million to one. The slightest thing in the world you don’t like — not the slightest thing sends you into ecstasy.

You’re driving in traffic. Somebody’s driving five miles an hour below the speed limit. You can’t handle it. It’s 95 degrees out — not 89, 95. Can’t handle it. You drop some ketchup on your pants at lunch. You can’t handle anything. How many examples can I give you that send you into ecstasy? Very few. That’s the ratio.

So you’ve stored all this stuff in here. Including — a friend walked by yesterday or two days ago. You called out, “Sally.” She didn’t even turn around. That’s your best friend. She didn’t respond. Do you know that’s still in there? Do you know the next time you see Sally, you might walk the other way just because you don’t want to ask, “Why would you ignore me?” She had earbuds on, by the way. She didn’t hear a single thing you said. But that’s not what your mind said.

Anybody hearing me? You built some stuff in there. Every one that you kept, you built a model of yourself. They’re like bricks that you built a house out of, and you hold them. And what happens if somebody challenges one of those bricks? You defend it. Do you ever defend yourself? You don’t defend the self. Why would you defend the self? It’s in ecstasy. It’s fine. Somebody walks up to you and says, “I hate you, Gus. You’re the most terrible person that ever lived.” You’re still smiling. It’s just something somebody said. Maybe you have to deal with it, maybe you don’t, but it came in and went through. You’re still you. You didn’t get pulled down into it. Is it possible? Of course it’s possible. You’re the one who heard it, but it hit your stuff, and so you end up defending yourself. And that is what those bricks are, and that is what your ego is.

Somebody once asked an enlightened master — Yogananda — “Master, what is the ego?” You know what he said? “The masquerading self.” What does that mean? What’s a masquerade? You pull something over your face so that you’re hiding and other people can’t see you. The self pulled the ego — the mask — around itself because it couldn’t handle the experiences that happened, and now it’s hiding behind that mask.

Are you not? You’re hiding behind that mask. People are afraid to meet new people. They might not like me. I’d rather hang out with my friends. You go to the movies — four of you are going together — and all of a sudden there’s five, but you never met that one yet. You’re not always so comfortable. They might not like you. I don’t know what to say to you.

Are you willing to be honest about what’s going on in there? That’s the ego. You built it out of your past experiences — not all of them, the ones that you held onto. And now you hold that out. It’s hard to live with the thing, isn’t it? Because it has likes and dislikes. Don’t you talk to me that way. Don’t you come back in this house if you talk to me that way. What did I say? You said something about my grandfather. I didn’t tell you how much I didn’t like my grandfather. Well, give me a break. No. It’s not easy interacting with other people, is it? It’s not easy interacting with you either. Even you to you. Can you cause yourself trouble?

Are you getting adrift? What it means to fall from the garden, right? Adam and Eve were in the garden. What does that mean? They’re with God. Their consciousness is merged. It’s all one. God created the heavens and earth and then came down to play. Like an artist makes a beautiful piece of art — do they look at it? I guarantee you Monet looked at his paintings. Beethoven cut the legs off his piano because he was going deaf. You know this. The piano sat on a wood floor on the second story so he could feel the vibrations. He put his ear near there because he couldn’t hear anymore. That’s how passionate he was about hearing his music.

All right. So God created the heavens and earth. He vibrated. I can’t get into that discussion of the quantum field — I’ll do it some other time, believe me. It’s just a quantum field vibrating. Vibrations, agitations in a quantum field of energy make quarks, leptons, and bosons, make electrons and neutrons, make atoms, make every single thing you’re looking at. It’s not even here — it’s just those vibrations. So God willed it and the universe came into creation. There’s form. Well, what good is it if no one experiences it? God didn’t make it so we couldn’t experience it. He’s an artist. Look at a sunset. Look at it everywhere. Therefore, the consciousness that created it comes down into what it created.

That’s who you are. You’re the ambassador, the emissary of divine consciousness coming down to experience the moment that’s unfolding in front of you. Now I am going to cry. That’s what “be here now” is. There’s no one else in there. There’s just consciousness experiencing the moment it’s experiencing. That’s ecstatic. It’s the sunset that pulled you away so deeply that you merged with it, and you came back and said, “It touched me to the depth of my being. I felt like I was in the presence of God.” You were, because what is the depth of your being? It pulled you back to where that garbage wasn’t in the way, and the experiencer and the experience became one.

That’s a very spiritual state. You’ve heard that. So basically, that’s what’s happening — God created heaven and earth, and he’s experiencing it. Isn’t it fun? No. It’s scary. Why? Because you stored everything. You didn’t let it come and go. You built a model of yourself inside and said, “This is who I am. This is what I want. This is what I don’t want. This is what I like, what I don’t like, and don’t do what I don’t like, and do what I do like — do more, please.” You hear me? And now you’re busy. Really busy. Busy experiencing God? No. Busy being me — this thing I made up, made out of all the garbage that I was unable to handle.

Your ego is made up of what you couldn’t handle. How do you like that? Your ego — that thing in there that talks to you all the time — that little mishegas in there — is made up of what you couldn’t handle in the past. You built these things. You built these walls. You built this. And now you defend it. And the worst part of it — and you don’t see it as the worst part, and you don’t like when I talk about it — is that you now go outside. You go out there to try to manipulate the world that’s unfolding in front of you so it becomes the way that your inner state wants it to be. And you’re serious about it. And if I sit there and teach “let go,” no. No, I don’t let go. I get what I want. Well, go attract to yourself what you want. Hope you’re having fun, because it’s not about getting what you want, and it’s not about avoiding what you don’t want. It’s about being able to handle everything.

It’s all the same. It’s just God’s creation. It’s just life expressing itself, coming in. Sometimes it’s sad, sometimes it’s happy, sometimes it’s dark, sometimes it’s light, sometimes it’s death, sometimes it’s a birth, sometimes it’s war, sometimes it’s peace. For everything there’s a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. That’s some deep stuff. That came from Ecclesiastes, right? That’s God. Not the God of your mind — every one of you has one of those. The one that makes it the way I want it to be, and never makes it the way I don’t want it to be. Okay, so get busy.

When the truth is, the deep teachings are — and you get back there — now you’re back there. Say you can handle everything that’s unfolding. Eventually — and this is a big eventually — you can handle it so deeply that it doesn’t distract you. You still experience it, but it doesn’t distract you. It doesn’t pull you out of your state. Who said there was a state like that inside? That no matter what happens, you’re always okay? I think it was Christ. “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that leaveth the mouth of the Father.” That’s the Shakti flow. Inside is always feeding you. You don’t live off the outside world stimulating you.

Yes, there are nice feelings. Yes, people can be real nice to you and say nice things to you. Yes, you can go look at pretty things. Yes, the outside world can come in sometimes — not very often — and hit you just right, based on your past experiences, so you’re open and you feel joy, and you also feel pain. Christ said, “That’s the bread. The outside world is the bread alone. Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that leaveth the mouth of God.” That’s what the masters are teaching you. That’s what it talks about. It’s meditation. That’s everything. You are inside.

So the deep teachings are that you’re capable of staying back there, period, no matter what. But you’re pulled out. You’re pulled out because you built all this stuff. That which turns her on turns somebody else off. Yes or no? That which turns you on turns somebody else off. Ready? Let’s get more personal. That which turned you off yesterday can turn you on today. That which turned you off an hour ago can turn you on right now. That which turned you off one sentence ago — that somebody said — can take you from turned on to turned off, or turned off to turned on. Wow, are we in trouble.

And now what you do is, instead of waking up to realize what’s going on — which I just spent an hour talking to you about; I hope you get it — you go out there and try to manipulate the world so nobody says what you don’t want to hear and says what you do want to hear, and acts the way you want them to act, and is the way you expect them to be.

One of my favorite sentences: “I can’t believe you did that. I would’ve never done that.” Of course not. You’ve had totally different experiences than me. There’s a totally different mindset going on in there. What do you think, I’m you? And you do say that to people. You understand that? And you do expect them to be the way you want them to be. “I didn’t get married so you’d be the way I don’t want you to be. You signed a license here. You’re supposed to be the way I want you to be.” All right?

The question is, do you want to know what a real relationship is? You’re not having a relationship with yourself — you’re having a relationship with the other person. You know how rare that is? You expect the other person to be the way you want them to be? Then have a relationship with yourself. Get a mirror. Talk to yourself. A real relationship is: what I’ve got going on in here, I don’t even tell anybody. What I’ve got going on in here, you don’t have going on in there. That’s the truth, isn’t it? You do not have going on in there what I have going on in here, and you never will.

But we spend a lot of time together. We make sure we have our lunches together. Yeah, okay. Still, he goes to work, she goes to work. Can he leave in a good mood and come back in a bad one? Of course he can. Can she? Is there any rule against that? “But if he leaves in a good mood and comes back in a bad mood, I feel like I did something wrong.” You see what I mean? You have the sum of your learned experiences. That other person is not like you, and they will not be like you, and you should not expect them to be like you. And if you do, you will never, ever have a decent relationship.

As opposed to this — and this is how I look at it: there are 8.3 billion people on the planet Earth. Huh. I get to know this one. The one you live with — I get to know that one. That okay? Yeah, it’s exciting. I don’t know how they’re going to be. They’ll be the way they are. They’ll be the sum of the learned experiences. Can they learn to be higher than the sum of the learned experiences? Yes. They’re very nice. I hope sometimes you feel angry, you let it go, but that’s your business, and I don’t expect anything.

I’m telling you, a real relationship is — okay, ready? — I would like to transcend myself. That is what I devoted my life to: letting go of myself. You devote your life to letting go of yourself. I’m here to help, support, create an environment where you feel safer doing that and I feel safer doing that, and we can go through what we need to go through and handle it, handle it, and raise each other — not try to make the other person be who you want them to be. Help them, whatever they’re going through. That’s where my head’s at. I love you so much that I want to create an environment where you can liberate yourself from yourself. And if you do that for me also, holy mackerel. That’s a very rare, very beautiful relationship. You understand that.

And if somebody does something that hurts you, the first thing you do is handle it. Yes, it hurt — I don’t have to tell you, right? It hurt. And what can I do to help the situation? Not what can I do to make it not hurt — what can I do to take care of myself?

So you’re seeing what it means, and I haven’t done that final step I keep promising to do. Eventually, you’re back there. That’s all. You’re established in the seat of self. You can handle whatever’s happening. You can handle it. Doesn’t mean things don’t happen.

Let’s say someone you love dies. Well, I guess I should be happy. No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying you’re going to feel loss. Why? That’s a very human emotion. It’s a very human interaction. And you’ve got one of those in there. You’re going to feel loss. You’re going to feel sadness. The question is not, are you going to feel it? Is it okay that you feel it? Do you see the difference? I’m resisting it. I don’t want to feel it. It’s terrible. I can’t believe he left me. He said he would never leave me. Okay, be screwed up for your whole life because somebody died, and blame them. People do that. As opposed to: it hurts bad. I feel tremendous loss. Is it okay that you feel that? There’s a beauty in loss. There’s a beauty in darkness. There’s a beauty in light. There’s a beauty in everything. Romeo and Juliet — quite a play. Don’t ever go see that — in the end you don’t like the ending. And you go back to see it over and over again. Why? Because there’s a beauty, and that depth of feeling of compassion and sorrow. Everything is beautiful.

Uh-oh, he said it. Everything is beautiful if you let it come in and touch you. Doesn’t mean you don’t come back and do something about it. But you don’t do something about it because you can’t handle it. You do something about it because you can handle it. And then you’re the person who’s right to handle it, because you don’t come back with anger or fear or hurt. You come back with understanding and compassion. How can I help? Not help me. Normally, we’re trying to help me — help me get what I want, help me avoid what I don’t want. When you don’t have that and it passes through, you are a light in this world. Hear me?

All right. So finally, you have come back and you’re established in the seat of self. Isn’t that enlightenment? No, it is not. Is it witness consciousness? A state of deep witness consciousness where I’m aware of what’s going on inside and I’m letting go, relaxing, releasing, and I can stay back here — is that enlightenment? No, not even close. Why? Because you’re still there. What do you mean? You are still there looking down. You’re just not getting caught. Listen to me, because people won’t talk to you this way. You’re just not getting lost in it. You’re not getting pulled down into it. You’re not getting distracted. You’re able to just see it. But you’re still there. You’re still an individual.

There’s a thing called the soul and the oversoul — the Atman and the Paramatman. Everything we’ve talked about so far is you’re in there. You are the soul. You’re the indwelling consciousness, but you’re still indwelling. At some point, the great ones — the truly great ones — have gone so deep that not only does it not distract them, it doesn’t even tend to distract them. It doesn’t catch their awareness enough to even be aware of being aware. And at that point, you are like this drop of consciousness looking down at your stuff. That consciousness falls back. Why? Because nothing’s pulling it down. Nothing’s needing to be separate. It’s a very deep state.

Somebody asked me the other day, “But I don’t know if I want to go there.” That’s right. You don’t know, but someday you will know. What did Christ call it? Christ’s teachings were the essence of the deepest everything. What did Christ teach? You must die to be reborn. You cease to exist as the individual self, and you merge back into the source of self. “My Father and I are one.” So basically, at some point, that drop falls back. It doesn’t need to be separate anymore. That is who you are. You are the divine descended, and you don’t have to descend. You’re welcome to.

The great masters come back and dance. The great ones are able to come and go at will. Somebody once stopped Yogananda — Yogananda came over in the ’20s, 1920. That is a long time ago. People were quite different than us. He’d be in a department store, and somebody walked up to him and said, “Hey, Yogananda, can you do that samadhi stuff?” The master asked a disciple to go get a chair, put it in the middle of the hall of the department store, sat down, took a breath, raised his eyes up, and went bye-bye. You can come and go at will once you’re done. That’s called being done. That’s what enlightenment is. You’ve merged and you come back, right? Do your thing.

All right. Did we have a nice talk? Understand more now? You’re a very great being. Are you willing to let go? Let go, and you’ll find out eventually you can reach states like that — where you’re always going to be okay. Wouldn’t that be nice, to know you’re always going to be okay no matter what? Don’t have to manipulate everything to make it be the way you want. You get to be free. All right. Jai guru dev.

Tami Simon: You’ve been listening to the Michael Singer Podcast, produced by Sounds True in partnership with Shanti Publications. For more information on Michael’s body of work and all back episodes, please join us at michaelsingerpodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening. Sounds True: waking up the world.