{"id":19961,"date":"2023-02-10T14:53:21","date_gmt":"2023-02-10T21:53:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/?p=19961"},"modified":"2023-02-10T14:54:59","modified_gmt":"2023-02-10T21:54:59","slug":"the-practice-of-presence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/the-practice-of-presence\/","title":{"rendered":"The Practice of Presence"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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PRACTICE ONE PRESENCE<\/p>

START HERE . . .<\/span>
I\u2019m starting with love. I\u2019m starting with breath.<\/span>
I\u2019m starting with stretching my body that carries me despite the aches.<\/span>
I\u2019m starting with a hand over my heart. I\u2019m starting with forgiveness.<\/span>
I\u2019m starting with a clean slate.<\/span>
I\u2019m starting with a cup of tea and a crisp new page. I\u2019m starting with a tearful release.<\/span>
I\u2019m starting with wind on my face and gratitude on my lips. I\u2019m starting with my eyes up, not down.<\/span>
Today, life is calling me to take my own path\u2014 Go at my own pace,<\/span>
Stop when needed,<\/span>
Notice the signs, people, and sights meant for me. Today, life is calling me to show up\u2014<\/span>
And I take this brave step by declaring . . .<\/span>
Love is where I\u2019m starting.<\/span><\/i>
May it also be where I am going. Love IS the way.<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Ever since I recovered <\/span>Google Island<\/span><\/i>, the book I wrote as a child, I\u2019ve been making an intentional effort to connect with that younger version of me, the one I now call \u201cmy Dreamer Girl.\u201d<\/span><\/p>

This was the \u201cme\u201d who knew at a very early age that lovingly respond- ing to myself and those around me brought me joy. Over the past few years, I\u2019ve spent time remembering what my Dreamer Girl was like.<\/span><\/p>

She couldn\u2019t walk by a stray cat without talking to it.<\/span><\/p>

She marveled at the sounds she made with her violin and bow.<\/span><\/p>

She loved the rush of the wind when she swung as high as she could go.<\/span><\/p>

She freely ran through the sprinkler in her bathing suit, unhindered by her squarish body that held an abundance of freckles.<\/span><\/p>

And most of all, my Dreamer Girl\u2019s joy was found in filling spiral notebooks with observations, stories, and dreams.<\/span><\/p>

I can\u2019t pinpoint exactly when I decided these inclinations were not acceptable and therefore needed to be abandoned. I\u2019m pretty sure it was during adolescence when I began assuming the roles that gained the world\u2019s approval\u2014roles like the Planner, the Go-Getter, the Accommodator, the Helper, and the Overachiever\u2014and when accolades took precedence over pleasure.<\/span><\/p>

And those roles were just the beginning. In the twenty or so years that followed, I took on so many roles and expectations that it should have come as no surprise when it all became too heavy to bear.<\/span><\/p>

But it did. I can still see myself at my breaking point\u2014the teacher, the partner, the mother, the daughter, the sister, the volunteer, the completist, the juggler, the people-pleaser, the fixer, all simultane- ously coming undone during a morning jog, my well-crafted roles unraveling so quickly I didn\u2019t even try to hold myself together.<\/span><\/p>

Fueling my breakdown was a question I got a lot: \u201cHow do you do it all?\u201d I\u2019d always taken it as a compliment, but not on this particular day. At thirty-eight years old, I\u2019d reached the very frayed end of myself, and that question loomed before me, forcing me to stop and face the answer I\u2019d been running from.<\/span><\/p>

I could \u201cdo it all\u201d because I missed out on life\u2014I missed out on the laughing, the playing, the creating, the connecting, the memory mak- ing . . . the living . . . the loving . . . and what I missed I cannot get back.<\/span><\/p>

That truth was so gut-wrenching, I was forced to stop. I collapsed to my knees and I wept for all that I\u2019d lost and the desolate place I was in. It was then and there that I decided to tell the truth. Looking back now, <\/span>I realize the significance of that response. For once, I did not push the pain and discomfort away. I allowed myself to feel it, to let truth enlight- en me, which is why tears of despair turned into tears of relief.<\/span><\/p>

I\u2019d lost my connection with my Dreamer Girl, the tree climber, the notebook filler, the music maker, the seed planter\u2014but she was not gone. Oh no, she was still with me, in here, hand over heart.<\/span><\/p>

I just needed some time . . . space . . . and permission to reconnect with her.<\/span><\/p>

Dear Soul Shift Companion, <\/span><\/i>does that thought resonate with you? Because here\u2019s the reality: as we grow further and further away from childhood, the demands and stress of life increase. We forget we have the power to say yes to what delights our heart and soul, makes us feel alive, and brings us peace. But in order to live an au- thentic, joyful, and purposeful life, we must remember how to say yes to those very things!<\/span><\/p>

We can do it through the Practice of Presence<\/span>\u2014<\/span><\/i>an intentional choice to temporarily push away distractions and be fully present in the mo- ments of our life.<\/span><\/p>

Within hours of my emotional morning run, I made this choice for myself.<\/span><\/p>

I was in the middle of making lunches. My younger daughter, Avery, who was almost four years old at the time, was on the sofa watching <\/span>The Lion King<\/span><\/i>. My computer was open, the phone was buzzing, and I was thinking about all the things I needed to do that day. In that moment, I looked up and noticed\u2014really noticed\u2014my child. A clear voice inside me said, \u201cGo be with her. There is nothing more import- ant right now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>

Without closing the bag of bread or looking at the clock, I placed the knife across the jar of peanut butter and went to hold my child.<\/span><\/p>

What happened next was something no one had ever done in my whole life: my daughter brought my hand to her lips and gently kissed <\/span>the inside of my palm, as if offering a silent but powerful acknowledg- ment of my presence.<\/span><\/p>

This is remarkable<\/span><\/i>, I thought. Tears filled my eyes.<\/span><\/p>

I was so grateful I did not miss that moment and knew I didn\u2019t want to miss any more.<\/span><\/p>

This strong desire to not miss my life is what sparked my Practice of Presence.<\/span><\/p>

Of course, at the time, I did not know it would become my Practice of Presence . . . I called it \u201cgoing hands free,\u201d a term that was inspired by that kiss-on-the-hand moment.<\/span><\/p>

It might sound contradictory to the process, but being a planner, I needed a plan. Realistically, I knew I could not overhaul my life, give up technology, or abandon all my duties and responsibilities, but that initial response I made to heed the inner voice demonstrated it was possible and practical for me to dedicate small increments of time to just being present.<\/span><\/p>

As an experienced teacher of students with behavioral issues and low self-esteem, I knew the impact of small, achievable steps in creating new, positive pathways. Change begins with a behavioral action, and when you change your behavior, your perspective starts to shift, too.<\/span><\/p>

So, I started with ten-minute periods of time during which I set aside my phone, computer, and agenda to be fully present and open to connection.<\/span><\/p>

It was impossible not to notice how one choice produced a ripple of positive outcomes. For example, after opening my pop-up chair at my older daughter\u2019s swim meet, I chose not to get out my work in an attempt to maximize the free time. Seeing my open lap and available attention, Avery asked if she could sit there. Holding her made me feel at peace and connected to her. When the meet was delayed, I did not fly off the handle because my plan was derailed. Instead, my daughters and I went and asked the coach how we could help, which he seemed to appreciate.<\/span><\/p>

We got home later than expected that night, but I hadn\u2019t yelled or felt that internal pressure . . . which resulted in my falling asleep without <\/span>the pain of regret. With one choice to be fully present, a series of mean- ingful experiences were created, lasting far beyond a solitary moment.<\/span><\/p>

As I continued to practice choosing connective presence over pro- ductivity, efficiency, distraction, and control, I realized that a feeling of peace consistently came along with that choice; it was as if I was receiving an internal message of encouragement from my soul that said, <\/span>This feels in line with how I want to live.<\/span><\/i><\/p>

Now, does this mean that from this point on life was rainbows and <\/span>butterflies? Absolutely not. The damaging habits and beliefs I\u2019d car- ried for decades were deeply ingrained, and life continued to deliver unexpected challenges. So, naturally, there were times when I didn\u2019t choose a loving, compassionate, or healthy response to conflicts or big feelings. But . . . I was practicing.<\/span><\/p>

And here was the difference: <\/b>when I encountered a painful exter- nal clue\u2014a wounded expression, a troubling comment, an upsetting memory, an uneasy feeling\u2014I did not push it away. The difference was . . . I acknowledged it. I allowed myself to <\/span>feel <\/span><\/i>my response to the discomfort without judgment, so it could be used as information to lead and enlighten me.<\/span><\/p>

Because of this willingness to be present for it all\u2014the remarkable moments and the mundane moments, the peaceful moments and the uncomfortable moments\u2014I was able to move from the painful truth of <\/span>I am missing my life <\/b>to a new, healing truth:<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\"\"<\/figure>

\nRachel Macy Stafford<\/b> is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, Only Love Today, and Live Love Now. Rachel is a certified special education teacher whose personal strategies are universal invitations to embrace life with urgency and cultivate connection despite the distractions of our culture. Her blog and social media platform are sources of inspiration to millions. For more, visit handsfreemama.com.<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\"\"<\/figure>


\nLearn More<\/b>
\n\nAmazon<\/a> | Barnes & Noble<\/a> | IndieBound<\/a> | Bookshop<\/a> | Sounds True<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PRACTICE ONE PRESENCE START HERE . . . I\u2019m starting with love. I\u2019m starting with breath. I\u2019m starting with stretching my body that carries me despite the aches. I\u2019m starting with a hand over my heart. I\u2019m starting with forgiveness. I\u2019m starting with a clean slate. I\u2019m starting with a cup of tea and a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":19963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[392,382],"tags":[],"contributor":[1045],"class_list":["post-19961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-and-healing","category-mindfulness","contributor-rachel-macy-stafford","slider-tags-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Practice Of Presence | Sounds True<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn about the practice of presence with insights from Sounds True teachers. 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