{"id":26877,"date":"2026-09-01T12:00:45","date_gmt":"2026-09-01T18:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/?p=26877"},"modified":"2026-09-01T12:05:02","modified_gmt":"2026-09-01T18:05:02","slug":"william-ury","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/william-ury\/","title":{"rendered":"William Ury On Becoming A Possibilist In An Age Of Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"26877\" class=\"elementor elementor-26877\" data-elementor-settings=\"[]\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-section-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f7c2e7e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f7c2e7e\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5b30533\" data-id=\"5b30533\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a9220c0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a9220c0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-text-editor elementor-clearfix\">\n\t\t\t\t<p>Picture yourself in the middle of a heated argument, and imagine stepping outside your own body for just a moment, onto a mental balcony where you can watch the whole exchange unfold from a calmer distance.<\/p><p>That image, developed decades ago, has helped shape how millions of people approach conflict. This is thanks largely to the work of William Ury, which we are happy to share with others who need this message now more than ever.<\/p><p>In this piece, we&#8217;ll look at who William Ury is, what it means to be a possibilist, and how his life&#8217;s work in negotiation and conflict resolution continues to offer practical tools for navigating disagreement today.<\/p><h2><strong>Key Takeaways:<\/strong><\/h2><ul><li><strong>Conflict Doesn&#8217;t Have To Mean Division:<\/strong> William Ury&#8217;s decades of negotiation work suggest even entrenched conflicts hold more room for possibility than they first appear.<\/li><li><strong>Being A Possibilist Is A Practical Stance:<\/strong> Rather than predicting outcomes, a possibilist focuses on the potential available in the present moment.<\/li><li><strong>Negotiation Begins Within:<\/strong> Ury&#8217;s later work suggests the most important negotiation often happens with ourselves before we ever sit across from anyone else.<\/li><\/ul><h2><strong>William Ury And Five Decades Of Studying Conflict<\/strong><\/h2><p>William Ury cofounded Harvard&#8217;s Program on Negotiation and coauthored <em>Getting to Yes<\/em>, widely considered the bestselling book on negotiation ever published. Over nearly fifty years, his work has taken him from corporate boardrooms to labor disputes to international peace negotiations, giving him an unusually broad view of how conflict actually unfolds across very different settings and cultures.<\/p><p>His most recent book, <em>Possible: How We Survive and Thrive in an Age of Conflict<\/em>, distills decades of firsthand experience into a practical framework for navigating disagreement without abandoning either honesty or connection. Drawing on stories from his own career, the book argues that even the most intractable disputes contain openings most people never think to look for. Readers curious to explore this and his earlier work can find his full body of writing in our William Ury author collection.<\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/join.soundstrue.com\/2026-truly-human\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-26804\" src=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain.png\" alt=\"Build Relationships That Nourish And Sustain\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain.png 1920w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Build-Relationships-That-Nourish-And-Sustain-800x450.png 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/><\/a><\/p><h2><strong>What Does It Mean To Be A Possibilist?<\/strong><\/h2><p>When asked whether he considers himself an optimist or a pessimist, Ury offers a third option entirely: a possibilist. As he explains it, this isn&#8217;t about predicting a particular outcome or claiming special insight into how events will unfold. It&#8217;s about recognizing that in any present moment, a genuine possibility for transformation still exists, even inside conflicts that feel permanently stuck.<\/p><p>This stance doesn&#8217;t require ignoring how serious or entrenched a conflict might be. It simply insists that curiosity, creativity, and collaboration remain available to us as human capacities, regardless of how difficult the circumstances look on the surface. Ury describes these qualities as something closer to a birthright than a rare skill, available to anyone willing to draw on them. Listeners who want to hear Ury describe this idea in his own words can find a full conversation on our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/a\/resources\/podcast\/william-ury-becoming-a-possibilist\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Insights at the Edge podcast<\/a>, recorded with Sounds True founder Tami Simon.<\/p><h2><strong>The Tools Behind Ury&#8217;s Approach To Negotiation And Conflict Resolution<\/strong><\/h2><p>Across decades of work in negotiation and conflict resolution, Ury has developed a handful of concepts that show up again and again in his teaching. Each one offers a concrete way to shift out of pure reaction and toward something more constructive.<\/p><h3><strong>Going To The Balcony<\/strong><\/h3><p>This practice involves mentally stepping back from a heated moment to observe it with more clarity, creating just enough space to respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically.<\/p><h3><strong>Building A Golden Bridge<\/strong><\/h3><p>Rather than pushing people toward a predetermined solution, Ury suggests building a bridge the other side actually wants to cross, one that accounts for their interests and concerns rather than only your own.<\/p><h3><strong>Bringing In The Third Side<\/strong><\/h3><p>Many conflicts assume only two parties exist, but Ury points to the surrounding community, mediators, or shared context as a &#8220;third side&#8221; that can help hold space for resolution.<\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/collections\/online-courses?configure%5Bfilters%5D=%28NOT%20tags%3ASearchspring-Exclusions%29%20AND%20collections%3Aonline-courses&amp;configure%5BfacetingAfterDistinct%5D=true&amp;configure%5BclickAnalytics%5D=true&amp;refinementList%5Bnamed_tags.data--parent-category%5D%5B0%5D=Spirituality\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-26769\" src=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True.png\" alt=\"Awaken Something Greater Within You. Find Teachings that Speak to You With Sounds True.\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True.png 1920w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Awaken-Something-Greater-Within-You.-Find-Teachings-that-Speak-to-You-With-Sounds-True-800x450.png 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/><\/a><\/p><h2><strong>Why Conflict Doesn&#8217;t Have To Mean Division<\/strong><\/h2><p>A recurring theme throughout Ury&#8217;s work is that conflict itself isn&#8217;t the problem. How we handle it determines whether it deepens division or opens toward something more collaborative. This distinction matters enormously in a moment when so much public discourse assumes disagreement automatically means opposition.<\/p><p>Ury&#8217;s anthropological background shapes this view. Having studied how different cultures negotiate and resolve disputes, he&#8217;s seen firsthand that adversarial framing is a choice, not an inevitability. Readers interested in this broader lens on human connection and understanding may find related themes explored throughout <a href=\"https:\/\/join.soundstrue.com\/2026-truly-human\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Sounds True One<\/a>, which offers access to teachings on communication and relationships across many traditions.<\/p><h2><strong>Getting To Yes With Yourself Before Anyone Else<\/strong><\/h2><p>One of Ury&#8217;s more personal contributions involves turning his negotiation framework inward. In <em>Getting to Yes with Yourself<\/em>, he argues that many external conflicts get harder to resolve when we haven&#8217;t first worked through our own reactive patterns, old grievances, or unexamined assumptions.<\/p><p>This inner negotiation isn&#8217;t about eliminating emotion from the process. It&#8217;s about developing enough self-awareness that emotion doesn&#8217;t hijack the conversation before it even begins. Ury&#8217;s continued exploration of this theme runs throughout his more recent writing, available alongside his classic works in our William Ury author collection.<\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/collections\/online-courses?configure%5Bfilters%5D=%28NOT%20tags%3ASearchspring-Exclusions%29%20AND%20collections%3Aonline-courses&amp;configure%5BfacetingAfterDistinct%5D=true&amp;configure%5BclickAnalytics%5D=true&amp;refinementList%5Bnamed_tags.data--parent-category%5D%5B0%5D=Meditation\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-26771\" src=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True.png\" alt=\"Center Yourself With Meditative Teachings by Sounds True\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" srcset=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True.png 1920w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Center-Yourself-With-Meditative-Teachings-by-Sounds-True-800x450.png 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/><\/a><\/p><h2><strong>Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/h2><p>William Ury&#8217;s decades of work suggest that even the most entrenched conflicts carry more room for possibility than they first appear to hold. Becoming a possibilist doesn&#8217;t mean pretending difficulty away. It means staying curious enough, and grounded enough, to notice the openings that reactive thinking tends to miss.<\/p><h2><strong>Frequently Asked Questions About William Ury<\/strong><\/h2><h3><strong>Who is William Ury?<\/strong><\/h3><p>William Ury is a negotiation expert, cofounder of Harvard&#8217;s Program on Negotiation, and coauthor of <em>Getting to Yes<\/em>, widely regarded as the bestselling book on negotiation ever published.<\/p><h3><strong>What does it mean to be a possibilist?<\/strong><\/h3><p>A possibilist is someone who doesn&#8217;t claim to know how the future will unfold but recognizes that genuine possibility for positive change exists in the present moment, even during difficult conflicts.<\/p><h3><strong>What is &#8220;going to the balcony&#8221; in negotiation?<\/strong><\/h3><p>It refers to mentally stepping back from a tense moment to observe it with more clarity, creating space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.<\/p><h3><strong>What is a &#8220;golden bridge&#8221; in Ury&#8217;s framework?<\/strong><\/h3><p>A golden bridge is a solution built to account for the other party&#8217;s interests and concerns, making it easier for them to accept rather than feel pushed into an outcome.<\/p><h3><strong>What does the &#8220;third side&#8221; mean in conflict resolution?<\/strong><\/h3><p>The third side refers to the surrounding community, mediators, or shared context that can support resolution, rather than viewing conflict as strictly a two-party matter.<\/p><h3><strong>How is Getting to Yes with Yourself different from Ury&#8217;s earlier work?<\/strong><\/h3><p>It applies his negotiation framework internally, focusing on resolving personal reactive patterns and assumptions before entering negotiations with others.<\/p><h3><strong>Can these negotiation and conflict resolution tools apply outside of business settings?<\/strong><\/h3><p>Yes. Ury&#8217;s frameworks have been applied to family disputes, community conflicts, and international negotiations, suggesting broad relevance beyond corporate contexts.<\/p><h3><strong>Where can I hear William Ury discuss becoming a possibilist directly?<\/strong><\/h3><p>Sounds True&#8217;s Insights at the Edge podcast features a full conversation between William Ury and Tami Simon exploring what it means to become a possibilist in an age of conflict.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-fbf9e6f elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"fbf9e6f\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3804c85\" data-id=\"3804c85\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-61188d5 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"61188d5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f9151ba elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"f9151ba\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-89ec855\" data-id=\"89ec855\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71685d0 elementor-position-left elementor-vertical-align-top elementor-widget elementor-widget-image-box\" data-id=\"71685d0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image-box.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-image-box-wrapper\"><figure class=\"elementor-image-box-img\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"898\" height=\"1306\" src=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/Amy-Michelle-Photo.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"\" \/><\/figure><div class=\"elementor-image-box-content\"><p class=\"elementor-image-box-description\"><b>Michelle Cassandra Johnson<\/b> is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including <i>Skill in Action<\/i> and <i>Finding Refuge<\/i>. <b>Amy Burtaine<\/b> is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of <i>The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups<\/i>. For more, visit <a href=\"https:\/\/www.michellecjohnson.com\/wisdom-of-the-hive\" target=_blank\">https:\/\/www.michellecjohnson.com\/wisdom-of-the-hive<\/a>.<\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6f9afa6 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6f9afa6\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-row\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-d86bded\" data-id=\"d86bded\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fd6acfc elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"fd6acfc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<script>\r\ndocument.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function() {\r\ndocument.querySelectorAll('.progression-studios-blog-excerpt')\r\n.forEach(el => el.remove());\r\n});\r\n<\/script>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Picture yourself in the middle of a heated argument, and imagine stepping outside your own body for just a moment, onto a mental balcony where you can watch the whole exchange unfold from a calmer distance. That image, developed decades ago, has helped shape how millions of people approach conflict. This is thanks largely to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":26879,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[1085,391],"tags":[],"contributor":[1157,1156],"class_list":["post-26877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-growth","category-relationships","contributor-amy-burtaine","contributor-michelle-cassandra-johnson","slider-tags-blog"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>William Ury on Becoming a Possibilist In Ages of Conflict<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn about William Ury and how becoming a possibilist supports better negotiation and conflict resolution with Sounds True. 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