{"id":4108,"date":"2019-02-04T15:24:52","date_gmt":"2019-02-04T22:24:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/?p=4108"},"modified":"2020-04-07T17:48:47","modified_gmt":"2020-04-07T17:48:47","slug":"tips-for-the-rally-team-how-to-support-someone-in-their-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/tips-for-the-rally-team-how-to-support-someone-in-their-grief\/","title":{"rendered":"Tips for the Rally Team: How to Support Someone in Their Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-4110 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/manyvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/BLOG-Tips-for-the-Rally-Team-2.png\" alt=\"Header Image Tips for the Rally Team: Supporting Someone in Their Grief Sounds True Blog\" width=\"1103\" height=\"550\" data-id=\"4110\"><\/p>\n<p><strong>Tip #1:<\/strong> Claiming your discomfort allows you to show up and be present. From the griever\u2019s perspective, it\u2019s a huge relief to be around those who are willing to be uncomfortable and show up anyway.<\/p>\n<p>If you aren\u2019t sure you should say something\u2014ask. Err on the side of being present. Your effort really is noticed and appreciated.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tip #2:<\/strong> Don\u2019t be a cheerleader. When things are dark, it\u2019s OK to be dark. Not every corner needs the bright light of encouragement. In a similar vein, don\u2019t encourage someone to have gratitude for the good things that still exist. Good things and horrible things occupy the same space; they don\u2019t cancel each other out.<\/p>\n<p>Do mirror their reality back to them. When they say, \u201cThis entirely sucks,\u201d say, \u201cYes, it does.\u201d It\u2019s amazing how much that helps.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tip #3:<\/strong> Don\u2019t talk about \u201clater.\u201d When someone you love is in pain, it\u2019s tempting to talk about how great things are going to be for them in the future. Right now, that future is irrelevant. Stay in the present moment, or if the person is talking about the past, join them there. Allow them to choose.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tip #4:<\/strong> In all things, not just in grief, it\u2019s important to get consent before giving advice or offering strategies. Ask the person whom you\u2019re supporting, \u201cAre you wanting empathy or a strategy right now?\u201d Respect their answer.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tip #5:<\/strong> Lean in and hang back. Respond to your friend, be curious and responsive to their needs. At the same time, don\u2019t ask the grieving person to do more work. Observe how things are landing for them, but in those early days, please don\u2019t expect\u2014or demand\u2014that they show up with their normal emotional-relational skills. They do not have them. Asking the grieving person to educate you on how best to help is simply not something they can do.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Excerpted from <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/store\/it-s-ok-that-you-re-not-ok-1.html\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s OK That You&#8217;re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn&#8217;t Understand<\/span><\/i><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">by Megan Devine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4112 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/manyvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/Devine-Megan-\u00a9-Stephanie-D-Zito-2016.jpg\" alt=\"Megan Devine Tips for the Rally Team: Supporting Someone in Their Grief Sounds True Blog\" width=\"254\" height=\"187\" data-id=\"4112\"><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/store\/megan-devine.html\"><b>Megan Devine<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> is a writer, speaker, and advocate for emotional change on a cultural level. She holds a master\u2019s in counseling psychology. Since the tragic loss of her partner in 2009, Megan has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief support. Her contributions via her site Refuge in Grief have helped create sanctuary for those in pain and encouragement for those who want to help. For more, visit <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.refugeingrief.com\/\"><b>refugeingrief.com<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/store\/it-s-ok-that-you-re-not-ok-1.html\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-4113\" src=\"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/manyvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/BK05059-Its-Ok-That-Youre-Not-OK-published-cover.jpg\" alt=\"It's Ok That You're Not Ok - Tips for the Rally Team: Supporting Someone in Their Grief Sounds True Blog\" width=\"180\" height=\"275\" data-id=\"4113\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Buy your copy of <i>It&#8217;s OK That You&#8217;re Not OK <\/i>at your favorite bookseller!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.soundstrue.com\/store\/it-s-ok-that-you-re-not-ok-1.html\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sounds True<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Its-That-Youre-Not-Understand\/dp\/1622039076\/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Amazon<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok-megan-devine\/1125708930?ean=9781622039074#\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Barnes &amp; Noble<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.indiebound.org\/book\/9781622039074\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Indiebound<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-4121\" src=\"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/manyvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/PIN-Tips-for-the-Rally-Team-3.png\" alt=\"Pinterest Tips for the Rally Team (3)\" width=\"564\" height=\"844\" data-id=\"4121\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tip #1: Claiming your discomfort allows you to show up and be present. From the griever\u2019s perspective, it\u2019s a huge relief to be around those who are willing to be uncomfortable and show up anyway. If you aren\u2019t sure you should say something\u2014ask. Err on the side of being present. Your effort really is noticed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":5485,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[391,381],"tags":[],"contributor":[811],"class_list":["post-4108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self-compassion","contributor-megan-devine"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Tips For The Rally Team How To Support Someone In Their Grief<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn about tips for the rally team how to support someone in their grief with insights from Sounds True teachers. 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