{"id":6266,"date":"2017-09-22T16:09:52","date_gmt":"2017-09-22T22:09:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/?p=3228"},"modified":"2020-04-07T18:11:20","modified_gmt":"2020-04-07T18:11:20","slug":"getting-grief-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Grief Right"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear&nbsp;friends,<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-3225 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/manyvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/unnamed-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"335\" data-id=\"3225\"><\/p>\n<p>Only a few months ago, I received word that a dear friend&#8217;s child had been tragically killed in a car accident. Although&nbsp;I have worked with hundreds of bereaved people in my 38 years as a grief counselor, I felt worried as I went to be with my friend. &#8220;What will I say to this dear man about his loss?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Then I remembered: &#8220;I don&#8217;t need to be anxious about the right thing to say. My purpose as his friend is to be present for whatever he might need.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Supporting someone in their grief is a tall order if ever there was one. How, exactly, do you show true compassion for a grieving person? Here are a few ideas I mention in my new book,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/enews.soundstrue.com\/t\/l?ssid=17613&amp;subscriber_id=atczyvuxxzygutrgtvamcvipbfctbdg&amp;delivery_id=baotbxvctwhemgbgwmuziepyklyebgc&amp;td=frky_5jEqdnxePBSsdoUHAndEko_J42bxkHFnLtMmUUuDqe-7V9oyils24H3U0ZFKhFA1p5jWV7qbqFtAOwiO0rnrVell1npqsrsrYsL-XGmH548-491EAezHwvzBTdVwIFBkpiozwwkgwLzmQ3A0HA5diuGxYT5ZHvQ623x8T6a7OtaFXLhSMH7U_Pu6mNWXn_N5r6qbgAOfOLq3mB5nQsYyCOAqdRCSWx7StilNZi5sC-zrqPBoAiyV7UyZJraGT9ZYeKVXrvdA\"><strong><em>Getting Grief Right<\/em><\/strong><\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Simply and sincerely say: &#8220;I&#8217;m very sorry.&#8221;\n<ul>\n<li>No more words are necessary. Really.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Show up at the house, visitation, or funeral; express simple words of sorrow; and then let the mourning person dictate what happens next.\n<ul>\n<li>She may open her arms for a hug, or she may clearly want to keep people at a distance. He may want to talk about his loss or about baseball. Be with them wherever they are.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Just simply be with that person and be compassionate.\n<ul>\n<li>Being with a person in grief is a unique, one-way intimacy. Don&#8217;t try to fix it or make him or her feel better.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Listen with your eyes and respond with nods that convey, &#8220;I get it.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Laugh with them when it&#8217;s time to laugh. Cry if tears come.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>And remember, even after the last casserole dish is picked up, many who mourn feel forgotten.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Bring a meal on the two-month anniversary of the death.<\/li>\n<li>Take your friend to coffee six months after the death and listen carefully to what they share about their story of loss.<\/li>\n<li>Speak the name often of the one who died.<\/li>\n<li>Donate to a relevant memorial at the year anniversary of the death or on the birthday of the one who died.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I hope these ideas will help you to create a compassionate community for those who you know are grieving.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3230 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/manyvoices.soundstrue.com\/manyvoices\/wp-content\/uploads\/unnamed-1-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"135\" height=\"135\" data-id=\"3230\"><\/p>\n<p><strong>Most Sincerely,&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Patrick O&#8217;Malley<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear&nbsp;friends, Only a few months ago, I received word that a dear friend&#8217;s child had been tragically killed in a car accident. Although&nbsp;I have worked with hundreds of bereaved people in my 38 years as a grief counselor, I felt worried as I went to be with my friend. &#8220;What will I say to this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":5485,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[382,381],"tags":[],"contributor":[658],"class_list":["post-6266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mindfulness","category-self-compassion","contributor-sounds-true"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Getting Grief Right | Sounds True<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn about getting grief right with insights from Sounds True teachers. 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Discover practices for mindfulness, wellness, and spiritual growth.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sounds True\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-09-22T22:09:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-04-07T18:11:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/masthead-bg.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1438\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"465\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"IT Team\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"IT Team\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"IT Team\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/#\/schema\/person\/56eb8a9da82f3f8f6b74c1ac0b5779f9\"},\"headline\":\"Getting Grief Right\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-09-22T22:09:52+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-04-07T18:11:20+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/\"},\"wordCount\":366,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/masthead-bg.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Mindfulness\",\"Self-Compassion\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/\",\"name\":\"Getting Grief Right | Sounds True\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/blog\/getting-grief-right\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/masthead-bg.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-09-22T22:09:52+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-04-07T18:11:20+00:00\",\"description\":\"Learn about getting grief right with insights from Sounds True teachers. 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