{"id":19408,"date":"2022-02-07T14:10:05","date_gmt":"2022-02-07T21:10:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/?post_type=transcript&p=19408"},"modified":"2026-02-26T14:15:41","modified_gmt":"2026-02-26T21:15:41","slug":"radically-reframing-aging","status":"publish","type":"transcript","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/transcript\/radically-reframing-aging\/","title":{"rendered":"Radically Reframing Aging"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"image_print\"Print Transcript<\/span><\/a><\/div>

Tami Simon:<\/b> Welcome to <\/span>Insights at the Edge <\/span><\/i>produced by Sounds True. My name is Tami Simon, I\u2019m the founder of Sounds True, and I\u2019d love to take a moment to introduce you to the Sounds True Foundation. The goal of the Sounds True Foundation is to provide access and eliminate financial barriers to transformational education and resources, such as teachings and trainings on mindfulness, emotional awareness, and self-compassion. If you\u2019d like to learn more and join with us in our efforts, please visit SoundsTrueFoundation.org.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hello friends, and welcome to <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i>. Today, my guest is Maria Shriver. Maria is a journalist, an author, a member of the Kennedy family, former first lady of California, and the founder of the nonprofit organization The Women\u2019s Alzheimer\u2019s Movement. As executive producer of The Alzheimer\u2019s Project, Maria earned two Emmy awards and an Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Award for developing a television show with conscience.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Maria Shriver, with Sounds True, is the host of a new five-day online series. It\u2019s called <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging: Today\u2019s Groundbreakers on Age, Health, Purpose, and Joy<\/span><\/i>. This is a five-day free online event that takes place February 28 through March 4. You can learn more at MariaShriverSummit.com. That\u2019s MariaShriverSummit.com. And this five-day free series features Maria in conversation with leading voices such as Jamie Lee Curtis, Vanessa Williams, William Shatner, Goldie Hawn, Annie Lamott, Rob Lowe, along with a host of psychologists, neuroscientists, and researchers. They\u2019re all looking at how we can age well, how we can age with love, with meaning, with contribution, with optimism, with the ability to bring forward our gifts decade, upon decade, upon decade. MariaShriverSummit.com.<\/span><\/p>\n

And now, here\u2019s my conversation with someone who herself is a true groundbreaker, someone who has an ear and is always listening for what needs to be said in our collective narrative to help move us forward: Maria Shriver.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maria, I\u2019m so pleased, honored, privileged to have this chance to partner Sounds True and Shriver Media on this new summit, <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging<\/span><\/i>, and to have this chance to work with you. It\u2019s a delight. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Maria Shriver:<\/b> I\u2019m so excited to partner with you. We met many years ago and we instantly connected. We\u2019ve been trying into find something that we could do. And I think we landed on such a great topic. So many people have thoughts about aging starting really young. And people in their thirties feel old, people in their forties feel old. And I talked to so many people who actually are in their sixties like me, who are feeling young. And they don\u2019t have a roadmap for how to navigate their future. So I\u2019m super excited about all of the people that we\u2019ve assembled together, all of the wisdom that they\u2019ve imparted. And it made me really hopeful about aging.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Tell me more and why this topic is so personally important to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well, it\u2019s personally important to me because I\u2019m aging, number one. But it\u2019s also personally important to me because we have more people in our country who are aging than ever before. And we don\u2019t have a narrative around this generation, really\u2014boomers, 10,000 boomers turning 65 every single day. And I\u2019ve been working as for the last two decades in the Alzheimer\u2019s space. Right? And there\u2019s a lot of fear with people as they age. Will I lose my mind? Will I get Alzheimer\u2019s? Will I get dementia? Will I get another brain neurological disease? Will I get sick? Will I end up in a nursing home? Will I be alone? How will my future end up? And I think there are so many negative stories about aging. And I think in <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging<\/span><\/i>, we\u2019ve reframed the process. There are so many millions of people who are aging well, who are aging with their health, who are aging with their mind and their bodies intact, who are starting new careers.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I think once again, at what point do you consider yourself aging? And I\u2019ve talked to so many young people, as I said, who say, \u201cI\u2019m aging,\u201d and they\u2019re 30 or, \u201cI\u2019m aging and I\u2019m 40.\u201d Or, \u201cI feel old in my twenties.\u201d So I think kind of just talking about what does that mean to you? What does aging look like? And reframing it as a gift, reframing it as something that you begin to think about in your twenties and thirties in terms of your health, in terms of your brain health, your spiritual health. And that we talk about if you\u2019ve raised your kids, what do you go off and do? If you leave a marriage, what do you go off and do? And I think having inspirational stories for us as we age is critical to how we age.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, you mentioned aging could be considered a gift. And it sounds like in your life, here you are in your mid-sixties. You\u2019re flourishing. You said you feel so young and thriving.<\/span><\/p>\n

But to that person who hears aging could be a gift, and they think, \u201cI don\u2019t feel so great.\u201d As in, \u201cI\u2019m in my sixties, seventies, and eighties. My bones ache, my mind doesn\u2019t seem as sharp. I\u2019m suffering.\u201d How could they reframe age so that they could relate to this concept of aging as a gift?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well, I think you can feel that in your thirties or forties, right? And so I have great empathy and compassion for people who are in pain. I think that\u2019s a real thing, right? So it\u2019s really hard, whether you\u2019re in pain in your thirties, your forties, your fifties, or sixties to be optimistic, to be hopeful.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think kind of that comes to health care, right? Being able to get good doctors, being able to get good advice, being able to get out and walk, being able to kind of be hopeful about your future. So there certainly are people for whom aging isn\u2019t a pleasant experience due to their health or due to the fact that their mind isn\u2019t what it once was. But I\u2019ve come to understand that for me, I work on my mind. I work on my body. I work on my frame of mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

So it\u2019s not like every single day is great. I have sciatica. My knee hurts. I don\u2019t physically feel like I did in my twenties or thirties. I get it. And I know that, but I understand that to think that I could or that I would is also not realistic. So I find myself trying to stay in gratitude for where I am today and not project myself forward. Uh oh, are these the good old days? But to try to have a visualization that my best days are ahead of me. If I continue to exercise, if I continue to try to prioritize what I eat, if I try to prioritize my brain health. I mean, who knows? That\u2019s what life is. But I think certainly, as Jane Fonda said to me not too long ago when I was interviewing her, I said, \u201cHow do you continue to do all these things in your eighties?\u201d And she said, \u201cWell first of all, I\u2019m in good health.\u201d So that\u2019s a prerequisite to being able to continue with your passions and your purpose\u2014to be in good health.<\/span><\/p>\n

So that\u2019s why I try to talk to kids all the time to prioritize their health in twenties, their thirties, their forties. Because that has a big impact on how you\u2019re feeling in your sixties, seventies, and eighties and beyond. But I have great empathy, as I said, and compassion for people who are in pain, because that\u2019s a rough road. And I think kind of being able to offer compassion and empathy to hold space for people who are struggling with their health is something that we can all do and hold for someone else.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Beautiful. Thank you, Maria. Now I know, as a woman turning 60 this year, that\u2019s my situation. Someone who hasn\u2019t necessarily bought into a lot of the cultural beauty myths. I still have noticed that I felt a certain pressure as I\u2019ve aged. You\u2019re really not going to dye your hair. You\u2019re just going to be silver. Really? Really? Even though you\u2019re on camera in different situations. And it seems that there\u2019s a myth in our culture that women, in order to be vital and attractive as they age, have to project some kind of youthfulness. And I wonder what you think about that.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well, I think that\u2019s probably true. But I think that\u2019s why reframing aging is so important. I think you see now a lot of women saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to let my hair go gray.\u201d There was a congresswoman who wrote about that just the other day, saying during COVID, she had to give up certain things because she had too much on her plate. She had kids, she had a job, she had parents. So she gave up dyeing her hair, and everybody commented on it. I think kind of holding your ground and knowing what\u2019s for you. So if you want to not dye your hair and then owning that, I think is really attractive in a person. I\u2019m not there yet, but I think other people are. And that, for them, is a freeing thing. I think choosing to dress the way you want to dress, do the things you want to do. I think people want to think, \u201cYou\u2019re in your sixties and seventies. You\u2019re not welcoming the boardroom,\u201d or, \u201cYou can\u2019t really be starting your company,\u201d or, \u201cYou really don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And I think that\u2019s why reframing aging in a radical way is so important, because we have people right now in their sixties starting new companies, being incredible members of society, running for office, being in office, designing buildings, painting. Jasper Johns is opening a big exhibition here in Los Angeles and he\u2019s in his nineties.<\/span><\/p>\n

So all of these things, I think, push up against the old image that we have about aging, right? We think of mothers as people who have gray hair, sitting in a chair and not doing anything. We think of people who are in their sixties retired and on a golf course. None of these images, I think, have kept up with the way baby boomers particularly are changing the rules and changing how they want to be viewed, changing how they want to learn. You hear a lot about people who are in their sixties and seventies adopting a \u201cbeginner\u2019s mind,\u201d taking care of grandchildren full-time, running marathons, launching exhibitions, designing buildings. And we don\u2019t have a story out in our culture for others to see and to say, \u201cI\u2019m not alone in wanting to do this.\u201d Or, \u201cI\u2019m not alone in wanting to do that.\u201d Or, \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of women who want to have gray hair or want to let it go and feel great about it. Oh, OK. I can do that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think, in a way, that\u2019s why we\u2019re all here, right? Is to share our stories, to share what it felt like, what it feels like. And that gives people, I think, comfort. They feel supported, and they feel like, \u201cOK, there\u2019s a community out there of other people like myself pushing the envelope in different ways. And I can too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now in the <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging<\/span><\/i> series, you talk to people who you call groundbreakers. What\u2019s a groundbreaker to you?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>You\u2019re a groundbreaker, right? You\u2019re just saying, \u201cI want to do it. I want to build my company the way I want to build it.\u201d I want it to have a particular imprint out in the world. I want to have a specific culture. I want to wear my hair the way I do. I\u2019m in the relationship that I\u2019m in. I hire the people that I want. I live in a city. You say, \u201cMaybe you should have your media company in LA or New York.\u201d And I want to have it here in my home.<\/span><\/p>\n

So to me, you\u2019re a groundbreaker. And you\u2019ve been way ahead of the curve, in my opinion, than almost anybody. And you carved out a space that didn\u2019t exist and you owned it. So to me, you\u2019re a groundbreaker. And there are other people.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Thank you, Maria. I notice I feel terrific as you say that. Thank you. Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well it\u2019s true. It\u2019s true.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Please keep going. Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>No, but it\u2019s true. Sounds True. It\u2019s true. Sounds True. It Sounds True because it is true. And you are putting thinkers who cause us to rethink out into our culture. And to me, that\u2019s groundbreaking. So that didn\u2019t exist when I was in my twenties, thirties, or forties. Right? I wasn\u2019t open or hearing that.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think people, I look at Nancy Pelosi. And whatever you think of her politically, to me she\u2019s a groundbreaker. She\u2019s somebody who\u2019s 80 years of age, and she\u2019s in her prime. That\u2019s a groundbreaker. I look at Frank Gehry, and he\u2019s in his nineties designing the most extraordinary buildings in the world. Groundbreaker. I look at Jamie Lee Curtis, who said, \u201cI\u2019m into pro aging. I\u2019m into natural beauty. I tried all the other things. It didn\u2019t work for me. Now I want to be a proponent of that. I want to be my best version of myself at this age. I want to let my hair go. I want to talk about the pressures that I felt like I was up against and what I learned from that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Dan Buettner is a groundbreaker. He discovered the Blue Zones, and has been trying to educate all of us about what we can learn from the people who\u2019ve lived to be 100, how they did it and how we can implement what they did in real time, in real life. William Shatner going up into space at 90. Groundbreaker. I mean, I wouldn\u2019t do that. I\u2019d be too afraid, I have to say. I\u2019d be too afraid probably now to do that. Groundbreaker. Annie Lamott, Norma Kamali, groundbreakers in not only their creativity and their writing but getting married, getting engaged in their sixties and seventies. Never stopping, continuing to create. Martha Beck talking about creativity and ingenuity. Dr. Sinclair talking about getting people comfortable with the term \u201clifespan.\u201d Getting people comfortable understanding that their health is their most important asset, and what they can do right now to extend their lifespan in a healthy way. And the list goes on.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I think all of the people that we\u2019ve assembled are really fascinating. They\u2019re all different. They all bring different expertise to the table. So I think thinking about them as a group, they\u2019re groundbreaking in all areas. Whether it be in science, medicine, the arts, creativity, politics, you name it. So that to me, my hope is that it will inspire people from all walks of life, all areas of human endeavor to look forward, to believe that their best days are ahead of them, to take control of their health, to take control of their mind and their own narrative.<\/span><\/p>\n

And as you well know Tami, the narrative we tell ourselves about ourselves is so powerful. And if we tell ourselves we\u2019re old and irrelevant, and our best days are in the back, we\u2019re going to feel like that. We\u2019re not going to feel good about where we\u2019re going. And we won\u2019t even believe that we have anywhere to go.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think, fundamentally, being positive about your own life experience, even the ups and downs with it, right? Owning your story and then thinking about how you want your story to go the next ten or 15 or 20 years is a really powerful act of self-compassion. It\u2019s an act of empathy for one\u2019s self. And I think it\u2019s inspiring. I always try to tell people: live a life that inspires you. Because if you do that, it will inspire others as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now I mentioned, Maria, that I\u2019ve felt comfortable going against the collective narrative in terms of appearance when it comes to aging. But one of the ways that\u2019s been harder, and I\u2019d love to hear what you have to say about this. Because I think, God, if this is hard for me, this is probably really hard for people, is to believe that there are certain dreams that I have that maybe I didn\u2019t actually have when I was in my forties. I thought I would, but I didn\u2019t. And now, here\u2019s the phrase inside. It\u2019s too late. It\u2019s too late to do that. It\u2019s too late. I got too old.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Like what? I don\u2019t know. Like what?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Like a new project I would want to start or something, and some idea that somebody who would succeed at that project would\u2019ve started it a lot younger. Something like that, you know? That you can\u2019t really, with how many years left, can you really take on these new things?<\/span><\/p>\n

So I\u2019m curious just what you think about that, and how we can shift our inner narratives to give ourselves permission that, if there\u2019s a dream that\u2019s still alive in us, there\u2019s a reason that dream\u2019s still alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Yes. And I think if there\u2019s a dream that\u2019s still alive in you, why wouldn\u2019t you try to implement it? Why wouldn\u2019t you try to actualize it? Sometimes, we have a dream that\u2019s inside of us. But if we really step back, we think, \u201cI don\u2019t really want to do that. It\u2019s just kind of a dream there, but I don\u2019t really want to do it.\u201d And I would ask myself why didn\u2019t I do it? I had some little dream, I always wanted to open a small bakery, a coffee shop with muffins and croissants, and all that. Because I liked it. But I didn\u2019t really do it. I mean, I didn\u2019t do it at all. And then I say to myself, well, did I really want to do that? And if so, why didn\u2019t I? And other dreams I had, I really wanted to do. And I did.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I try to focus on the dreams that I had and that I implemented, and think about the other ones that maybe they just didn\u2019t rise to the top. Maybe they just weren\u2019t as important. And I think people have lots of dreams. But I would focus one\u2019s attention and one\u2019s mind on the things that you did actually do.<\/span><\/p>\n

I talked to so many women who say I didn\u2019t do this or I didn\u2019t do that. And I\u2019d say, \u201cI know your kids, and you raised these kids.\u201d And they\u2019d be like, \u201cOh yes, I did that.\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201cAnd you\u2019ve been married for 20 or 30 years.\u201d And they\u2019re like, \u201cYes, I did that.\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201cWell, was it your dream to build a marriage, to have a family?\u201d \u201cOh yes.\u201d Well you\u2019ve actually actualized your dreams. Right? You\u2019re comparing your dreams to someone else\u2019s dreams or someone else\u2019s achievements, and then negating your own. I feel people do that a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I would redirect someone to what they\u2019ve actually achieved, what they actually dreamed. And that maybe by realizing they implemented a lot of their dreams, that might give them the courage to do something else or to see their own narrative in a different way.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, you spoke to many of these different groundbreakers that you mentioned as part of the <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging<\/span><\/i> series. What were the biggest surprises? The things you\u2019re like, \u201cWhoa, I wasn\u2019t expecting that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well all the way through. Sometimes people say to me, \u201cYou\u2019ve been in journalism for 40 years. What was the best interview?\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201cThere wasn\u2019t,\u201d because I\u2019m always so interested in whoever I\u2019m talking to at that given moment. I think as I close my eyes and think of the summit in its totality, I think of so many people using the phrase: say yes to things. Try new things. Don\u2019t think of yourself as old or over. Just jump into things. There\u2019s a tendency to stay home and watch Netflix and chill. Right? But push yourself out, accept invitations, try new things. You never know. And I think what I found that was super inspiring, and I think believing in yourself and just kind of saying yes was a big umbrella thing that really stayed with me. And I have to say, after we finished the several days of filming, I felt a certain energy that I hadn\u2019t felt before. I felt some hope that I really hadn\u2019t felt before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And my daughter Christina, who worked on this, when it was over, she said, \u201cWow, I found that really inspiring.\u201d And I was like, \u201cOh wow. Really?\u201d And she goes, \u201cYes. Because when I think about aging or my generation thinks about aging, there\u2019s nobody sharing these secrets, or these lessons, or these kind of thoughts. And here they all are in one place.\u201d And I thought, \u201cWell wow, that\u2019s so great.\u201d Because when I was her age, I didn\u2019t see a <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging <\/span><\/i>summit. I didn\u2019t see people brought together to talk about a subject that was once considered taboo, and that want to change the status quo, and want to give hope not only to their generation, but to generations that come up after them. And I think that\u2019s part of the reason we\u2019re here, is to show how to do this well so that our children, and I mean that collectively, can do it well or can do it even better than us.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now you mentioned earlier the importance of focusing on our health as we age. Exercise, that type of thing. What were the biggest takeaway lessons for you personally where you thought, \u201cI\u2019m really going to do this so I can age well\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>I\u2019ve been, because of my work in the Alzheimer\u2019s space the last two decades\u2014my dad, as you know, was diagnosed with Alzheimer\u2019s in 2003. So I\u2019ve been on this path trying to understand this disease. I reported the first time that it disproportionately impacted women. So I\u2019ve started to try to understand why that is and delve deep into women\u2019s health.<\/span><\/p>\n

So with all the doctors and the researchers that I\u2019ve met over the last 20 years, all of them continually talk to me about the importance of what we eat, how we move, who we surround ourselves with. Having practices to help us manage our stress.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I don\u2019t do it as well as all the information I have. I still struggle with sugar. I still struggle with stress. But I do know the importance of implementing habits that help me age well. So I know a lot more in this space.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was growing up, my mother, who struggled with her health, used to always say to me, \u201cYour health is your most important asset. Focus on your health.\u201d And she would say this as she downed a couple packs of sugar and ate some cookies. So it was a little bit of a kind of disconnect. But I always remember her saying that to me. And I always remember her saying to me, \u201cYour brain is your greatest asset. Be smart, keep learning, keep growing.\u201d Because I would always tell the funny story when people would come up to and say, when I was 15 or 16, \u201cYou have such a beautiful daughter.\u201d And she would turn to me always and say, \u201cYour looks are going to go. Focus on your mind.\u201d I was like, \u201cMy looks are going to go at 16? Oh my God.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But she would always stress to me the importance of the mind, being smart, learning. So I think that\u2019s a big part of your health, right? Keeping your mind in the best shape you possibly can.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I know everybody comes into the health journey with different issues. So many people struggle with depression and anxiety. So many people struggle with autoimmune diseases. So I think it\u2019s kind of, when I speak about our health, I speak about it in the hope that we can all prioritize it. But many people have a more challenging road with that than others, which is why obviously health care is so important, which is why good doctors are so important, which is why it\u2019s so important that doctors have the time to talk to people about what\u2019s really going on within them. It\u2019s why we need to reframe how we see therapy. And I think we\u2019re in the process of watching the world reframe mental health, which is fantastic.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think we\u2019re in the process, which I find really exciting, that we\u2019re reframing so many things that certainly I grew up with. And I think they need to be reframed because they\u2019re out of date, out of touch. And the status quo doesn\u2019t work for people.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> When you say we need to reframe therapy, you mean from something that people who are\u2014<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well I think certainly when I grew up, as I was growing up, the feeling was you only went to therapy if you were mentally challenged.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Crazy.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Crazy. Yes. So I didn\u2019t grow up with if you have an issue, you should go to therapy. That wasn\u2019t the message that was given to me. I actually went to therapy for the first time in my mid-fifties. Because I just never knew that I could go, should go, or that it would benefit me. And I feel like I advocate to my kids all the time, \u201cGo to therapy. If you\u2019re in a relationship, go to couple\u2019s therapy. If you\u2019re struggling with something, find somebody to talk to.\u201d I think kind of promoting that as something that strong people do, as something that people do to stay mentally healthy, to stay communicating with someone that they love, I\u2019m a big proponent of that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But I didn\u2019t grow up with that message, but I think it\u2019s being reframed for a new generation, because I think people are openly talking about their struggles. They\u2019re openly talking about their pain. They\u2019re openly talking about depression and anxiety. And I think that\u2019s a really good thing. And I think like everything, it can go maybe over here so that people who are really struggling with it feel like people are minimizing what they\u2019re actually doing or really having to do. So I think we all have to find the middle ground, I think, on all of these things. But I\u2019m a big proponent of therapy, and I\u2019m also a proponent of making it more accessible to more people.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Yes, indeed. Therapy as a support for our growth too. Not just problem solving, but just a way to keep evolving and learning more and being greater contributors.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>And learning how to communicate. Right? I mean learning how to communicate. Nobody ever talked to me growing up about this is how you\u2019re supposed to communicate in a relationship. This is how you communicate with children if you\u2019re a parent. This is how you communicate, in a way. This is what projection is. This is what when someone\u2019s fighting with you, maybe they\u2019re fighting about something that has nothing to do with the fight that you\u2019re actually in. All of these things, I was always like, \u201cOh wow, really?\u201d So I wish I\u2019d come to a lot of that earlier in my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now Maria, I just want to circle back for a moment with all of the work that you\u2019ve done with Alzheimer\u2019s prevention and Alzheimer\u2019s research. Would you be able to summarize for us\u2014this is the Alzheimer\u2019s prevention science that we know? Because I think for a lot of people, just the fear of developing Alzheimer\u2019s, really there\u2019s a prevention approach.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>And that\u2019s new, Tami. Certainly when I got involved in Alzheimer\u2019s it was, I would say, a very hopeless space. It was a dark space. It was a scary space. Nobody talked about prevention. Nobody talked about brain health. Nobody talked about women being disproportionately impacted. Nobody talked about people of color being disproportionately impacted.<\/span><\/p>\n

So this space has gone through a whole kind of rebranding, reframing I would say. And in the last several years, we\u2019ve begun to be able to see the brain in a different way through technology. We\u2019ve been able to try to understand the brain in new ways. We still don\u2019t have, \u201cThis is the exact thing you should do, and you will not get.\u201d We don\u2019t have that. And anybody who tells you if you do these five things, you will never get Alzheimer\u2019s, dementia, Parkinson\u2019s\u2014that\u2019s just not the case.<\/span><\/p>\n

What they can say is we know what is beneficial to a healthy heart. And we now know what\u2019s beneficial to a healthy brain. We now know that exercise is critical to a healthy brain. We know now that food impacts our brain. We know that sugar is horrendous for the brain. And anybody who eats a bunch of sugar can feel it, if they\u2019re really honest, in their brain. They\u2019ll feel brain fog, they\u2019ll feel lethargic. They\u2019ll feel a sugar hangover. I myself have felt that. We now know that sleep is critical to resting your brain, to allowing accumulation of what they call trash in the brain to actually dissipate while you sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n

So emphasizing sleep, emphasizing exercise, emphasizing food, emphasizing a practice to manage stress so that you\u2019re not burning cortisol and being on high alert all the time is really helpful to the brain.<\/span><\/p>\n

Keeping the brain growing. And by that, I mean learning, practicing new things. Trying to, like when I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth with my left hand just to kind of jigger up the brain a little bit. I try to go out of my house. Sometimes I go out to the right. Sometimes I go out to the left. I try to remember the way as opposed to looking at my navigation system. Trying to memorize people\u2019s phone numbers. Trying to play\u2014I post all the time on Instagram\u2014brain teasers, which I never get. But trying to get you to use your brain and stress your brain. That\u2019s also super important. When it\u2019s hard, push through it, just like in exercise, right? Push through that word problem, push through that math problem. Now I\u2019m not good at that at all, but I know it helps my brain. So from time to time, I try to do that.<\/span><\/p>\n

So we do know that those things help. We do know that if someone in your family has had Alzheimer\u2019s, that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re going to get Alzheimer\u2019s. And we also know that if someone in your family hasn\u2019t had Alzheimer\u2019s, that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re going to get a free pass.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think it\u2019s really important. I try to stress increased funding at NIH to understand the brain. Increased funding for understanding the path for neurological diseases. Clinical trials that now look at people at a much younger age than they did when I first got involved in this space. So part my mission out in the world is to educate people about their brain health, particularly to educate women who, at midlife, have big choices to make about hormones or not hormones. And to understand that a lot of the research now says that hormones are neuroprotectors, but it\u2019s important when you start to open the discussion about menopause. That\u2019s a radical reframing of aging.<\/span><\/p>\n

I never spoke to my mother about menopause. I never spoke about sex to her either. But menopause is kind of this huge transition in a woman\u2019s life, and it\u2019s a brain transition. So we\u2019ve not talked about it because women see it as a sign of aging. They see it as a sign of losing perhaps their sexual prowess or their beauty, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think kind of reframing that it\u2019s just a different stage of life. And yet, women can go through menopause and still be beautiful and attractive and sexy and wanted. Right? And kind of reframing that for women, I think, will open the conversation for women to talk about perimenopause, to talk about menopause, to talk about being postmenopausal. That\u2019s a part of aging, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Indeed, yes. Now Maria, I wanted to ask you another question about Alzheimer\u2019s, which is you mentioned that your father developed Alzheimer\u2019s. And that just because it\u2019s in your family, it doesn\u2019t mean that you will develop Alzheimer\u2019s yourself. But I wonder, did that create a fear in you? Like because it\u2019s in my family, I\u2019m going to need to go extra hard in this direction. And when that fear comes up, what do you think is a useful way of relating to it?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well, for sure that fear came up and comes up. Because the biggest threat to you getting Alzheimer\u2019s is your aging. So I think about it not so much in terms that my dad got it, I\u2019m going to get it. But I think about it in terms of I\u2019m aging and I don\u2019t want to get it because I want to be independent. I don\u2019t want to be a burden to my children. I want to know their children. I want to be healthy as I age.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think about it a lot. Sometimes I think about it too much, but I\u2019m also working on it all the time. So it\u2019s kind of in my mind space a lot. Sometimes I think it\u2019s in my mind space too much.<\/span><\/p>\n

But that\u2019s why I don\u2019t exercise or eat well or walk and do those things to manage my weight. I do it for my brain. Because when I\u2019m thinking, I don\u2019t want to do it. I\u2019m like, wait a minute. My brain. I got to get it out there because I got to keep it healthy.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s a switch for me. As a woman, somebody who worried about their weight growing up. But now, everything I do is like: Is this good for my brain? Because that\u2019s what I\u2019m most concerned about as I age. But I find that when I\u2019m afraid of something, I will either write out the fear. What am I actually afraid of? And I\u2019ll write it out to see what it is on the paper. And I\u2019ve often found for me when I write something out, it dissipates. I try to walk it out, write it out. And then sometimes I meditate and kind of visualize what is it that I\u2019m really afraid of. I try to have tools and practices for anxiety, for fear, for when I feel down. And it usually involves those things. Usually it involves writing, walking, sometimes riding my bike, the Lifecycle.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I also now have the knowledge that that is an emotion. It\u2019s a thought. And I now know enough about thoughts that they come, and they go, and they will pass. And I have the capability to redirect my thoughts. I\u2019ve learned a lot from teachers, whether it\u2019s Byron Katie or others about what thoughts actually, really are. And I can judge them, and confront them, and ask are they really true? And I know that they take me down one road, but I can redirect my thoughts to take me down another road.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, one of the days of the five-day <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging<\/span><\/i> summit is on the science and secrets of super-agers. What\u2019s a super-ager? And can you share with us a couple of their secrets?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well no, I\u2019m not going to share because then you won\u2019t go to the summit, right? So you have to go to the summit to find out the secrets of super-agers. But I think whether they\u2019re super-agers, and those are people in their nineties and hundreds who are out being independent, whose brains are, sometimes\u2014I did a story for the Today show on super-agers, and they were in a study at Rush in Chicago and they had the process and speed of 20 and 30 year olds. They had the memories of 20 and 30 year olds. So people study what makes a super-ager? What did they do in life that might lead us to also becoming a super-ager? So we talked with Dr. David Sinclair and others who kind of have really taken control of their own health, their own diets. Many people\u2014 we talked to two in the summit\u2014one who takes a lot of supplements and one who didn\u2019t. But one who had a very specific mindset around aging, she said that she didn\u2019t feel old or that she was aging until she was 93 and with COVID. And then she was like, \u201cI think I\u2019m getting old.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But, I\u2019ve always been interested in talking to people who are older about how they have managed their path, how they are still in their eighties or nineties. Dressing in such a creative way, working in such a purposeful way, living in such a mission-focused way. And it\u2019s usually people who have all of those things. Purpose, mission, independence, creativity, and a mindset that sees themselves in a specific way.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now I\u2019m curious, in all of the conversations that you had as part of this series, did you notice that there were cultural differences that were pointed to where aging perhaps doesn\u2019t need to be as radically reframed in other cultures as it needs to be reframed here for us in Western civilization?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>That\u2019s such a good question. And I think yes. I think there are certain cultures that handle aging much better. And there are certain cultures where families live together, stay together, honor people who are aging, look at people who are aging with reverence. I think in American culture, we\u2019re so focused on youth, that ageism definitely exists. I mean, every single one of my friends has said that they have felt it in the workplace. Whether they worked at the network in network news, ageism is there in plain sight, right? Whether they were once a model, whether they were once a corporate person. Many people I know have been lawyers, and their law firm ages them out at a certain age. They forced them to leave. And that\u2019s an old rule from 20, 30 years ago that needs to be re reframed, right? They say it\u2019s the only way they can make room for young partners coming up, but they have people who are 60 leaving who still have another 20 years of great knowledge to bring to the table.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think that many cultures, as I said, do a better job of honoring the elder, honoring the wisdom. They have practices where they live with their parents, their grandparents. So I think there are things that the American society can learn from other societies. And even within the United States, I think there are certain, whether it\u2019s the African American community, the Latino community. They navigate aging, I think, in a different way.<\/span><\/p>\n

And one of the other things, just circling back, what was one of the things that stuck with me from people talking was people saying that they watched how their parents aged, how their parents did it. And that was either a great inspiration to them or it made them concerned. So I think it\u2019s important, if we have kids, if we are around younger people, to set an example for them that we\u2019re not afraid. To set an example for them that you can still be curious and viable and out in the world, no matter your age.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> This notion of reframing how we work as we get older, seems the whole idea of retirement is perhaps even a notion that, for people who feel really on purpose as I imagine you do, it\u2019s kind of like\u2014what would you say, Maria, if I said, \u201cSo, are you going to retire soon? You\u2019re in your mid-sixties.\u201d How would you respond to that?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>I would say no. I didn\u2019t grow up with parents who retired. Both of my parents worked all the way into their eighties. I remember my mother saying to me once, \u201cTami,\u201d she said I think till you\u2019re 80, you shouldn\u2019t even come in and say you need the day off. I think at 80, I noticed that I need some other doctor\u2019s appointments. So I think OK, after 80 that\u2019s all right. I go, \u201cMama, people have all kinds of stuff going on in their lives way before they\u2019re 80.\u201d And she\u2019s like, \u201cI just don\u2019t subscribe to that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think many people I know have \u201cretired\u201d from the career they were in and went off and pursued something completely different. I saw a friend of mine over the weekend who had worked in the medical profession for or 30 years. She \u201cretired.\u201d And now she\u2019s a full-time art instructor because painting was her passion. And now she works at an art school, and she teaches students about art, and she gets to draw. So she thought she was retiring, but then she actually went and fulfilled her dream, which she always had in that back pocket coming back to what you were talking about earlier.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I meet a lot of people like that who say, I retired or left the career I might have spent ten, 20, 30 years doing. And I went and found something completely different. So I think there\u2019s more and more examples I see of that. I don\u2019t know a lot of people. I do know some who are just fully retired and love it. And they travel with their spouse, and they spend time taking care of grandchildren. And that\u2019s their new job. That\u2019s their new purpose. So I think the word needs to be reframed. I think people just start different chapters.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And when it comes to really finding meaning as we age and a frame for meaning that we can really look to that can be a touchstone for us. I think for some people, as they age, there can be a sense of something like irrelevance. Am I really relevant anymore? I don\u2019t seem to understand this or that cultural illusion. My kids have grown up. That\u2019s an emptiness. I feel irrelevant. Where would you point people if they want to develop more meaning in their life?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Well I think first of all, it\u2019s a big shift to\u2014first to acknowledge it\u2019s a big shift. If you\u2019ve spent 20, 25 years raising kids and then they\u2019re gone and that\u2019s been your purpose, and then you feel like, \u201cI don\u2019t have any meaning. I don\u2019t have any purpose.\u201d I get that 100 percent.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have to say I struggled. When my kids all got out of the house, I kind of was like, \u201cWell, wait a minute.\u201d And I had worked alongside of raising our children. But all of a sudden, I looked at the clock. At 3:00, I had no more games to go to. I had nobody to pick up. I had nobody to have dinner with.<\/span><\/p>\n

So it took a while to restructure my day, reframe the reality that I actually was like, \u201cOK, wait a second. I don\u2019t have kids at home anymore. I\u2019m actually, in my case, living alone. Whoa, how\u2019d that happen? OK, wait a minute. I have to reframe.\u201d I spent a lot of time caring for both of my parents. I spent days on the phones with doctors and all of that. And then when they both passed away, there was a kind of a restructuring of my own life and my day, and my feeling of being needed to take care of them went away. Right?<\/span><\/p>\n

So I think that there are points in our life, as we go along, that really need to be honored as being big earthquakes for many people, right? When you lose a job, it\u2019s a big identity restructuring, because you always saw yourself as this. And then all of a sudden now you\u2019re what, right? What is that? So I have great empathy and compassion for that, and I have felt that myself. So I know that\u2019s really real.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think that in the times that I have felt it, I\u2019ve tried to kind of take baby steps towards remembering what I do well, and then trying to take a baby step towards that. And that\u2019s really kind of my best advice. I think people always say try to find some sort of way to be of service, because it gets you out of your head. But I think first honoring that wow, I do feel empty here. I raised my kids and now they\u2019re not there. So who am I? Or I was in a marriage for 25 years and now I\u2019m not. That feels like it needs reframing. I need to reframe my identity. Boom. I feel that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or I lost my job. What does that mean now? I have to reframe. I have to recalibrate. So I think first, giving yourself some compassion for that. And I think that\u2019s why talking about these things is helpful, because I think then you feel less alone when you go through it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I was certainly terrified when our last kid went away to school and I was like, \u201cOh my God. Now what for me?\u201d So I think you have to kind of keep going and keep trying to figure it out.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> One of the themes I\u2019m feeling in this conversation\u2014whether it\u2019s about our appearance, or menopause, or fears about brain health, or feelings of emptiness\u2014that having the conversation, having the conversation publicly is such an important part of the reframing process. We can\u2019t come to this new frame until we\u2019re willing to really share our experience and talk about it, and not hold back and push it under the carpet.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>100 percent. I think that\u2019s the only way we feel less alone. I think one of the big things about aging is you lose people along the way, right? There\u2019s a lot of loss involved in aging. And that\u2019s scary to people, and I get that too. So grief is something that accompanies you if you\u2019re lucky enough to age. Right? So learning how to process grief, learning how to live with people that you felt you could never live with is an important part of this conversation. The fear of being alone as you age, right? Talking about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once we talk about it, somebody else says, \u201cWell, I feel like that too.\u201d Or somebody else says, \u201cNo, I feel really strong and optimistic.\u201d And then you could say, \u201cHow\u2019d you get like that?\u201d Or, \u201cHow\u2019d you get to that place?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I think all of these things help not only us, they help other people. And they help our culture at large. I think talking about Alzheimer\u2019s helps people who are dealing with Alzheimer\u2019s, helps families, helps researchers and doctors. And it helps people write about it and experience it. And talking about being an empty nester, talking about trying to balance a career and parenting and partnering. Talking about long marriages, or talking about how you feel when your marriage ends and how you found your footing. Talking about falling in love again. All of these things, I think, are part of life, right? Life isn\u2019t just you grow up, you go to school, you go to college, you meet a guy, you get married, you have kids, and that\u2019s that. Well, what happens to the next 40 years of your life? Where\u2019s the narrative for that? That\u2019s what I\u2019m interested in.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And talking about things that are uncomfortable to talk about\u2014the last thing I wanted to talk to you about is where the aging process takes us all, which is to our death. And how do we radically reframe dying for ourselves?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Right. Yes. I think that\u2019s a really big part. As I said, grief is a part of aging. And death, you\u2019re walking closer to death every day that you age. Right? But I also learned growing up in my family that people can die at a very young age and die very suddenly. Right? And people can live to 100, and there\u2019s that too.<\/span><\/p>\n

So I\u2019ve written about death. I wrote a children\u2019s book about heaven, because I grew up when people walked out the door and they didn\u2019t come back. Death has been kind of a companion in my life, wondering about it. I\u2019ve done several stories on people with near-death experiences. I\u2019ve talked to people in hospice. I\u2019ve done some PSAs for the hospice movement. I\u2019m always reading pieces about regrets of the dying or how people get to a place where they can feel at peace about dying. That I think is a whole other subject. How do we reframe death so that we\u2019re not terrified? Because it prevents us from living if we\u2019re terrified of dying. But I think the challenge for all of us is how to live well and how to die well. How to kind of feel that you brought your best to your life, and that you die with as few regrets as possible. We\u2019ll all die with some regrets.<\/span><\/p>\n

But having been in the room with my mother when she died, having been in the room with my father, having been in the room with a close friend not too long ago as she died. It\u2019s an awesome experience to be with someone as they transition to what I call their next great adventure. And I was reading just over the weekend about Thich Nhat Hanh, who I had the chance to meet and went to hear him speak several times, and how he really began to think about dying well, and what does that look like, and how to be at peace with that. And I understand full well the fragility of life at every stage. And am I afraid to die? Yes. But I always think to myself, at least I think if I die tomorrow, do the people I love know that I love them? Check. That\u2019s the most important thing for me is that do my children and my friends know that I love them? And I sit there all the time and feel like, \u201cWow, I\u2019ve had a blessed life. I\u2019ve had a great life. And I\u2019ve spent this latter part of my life constantly telling people that I love them, and that they\u2019re important to me.\u201d And because what? We never know. Right? But I think how we look at death is a big subject.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And as you say that, Maria, I spontaneously feel so much love for you and the work you\u2019re doing. Yes. And so much gratitude that we\u2019ve been able to partner together on this new series.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>I\u2019m really as I said, grateful to you for jumping into this subject and really grateful for you and to you for being the groundbreaker that you are. And I want to do more things with you because I think what we\u2019re putting out into the world matters. And I think that\u2019s a big thing about getting old. If you feel that what you\u2019re working on matters, it doesn\u2019t have to be like \u2026 People always say, \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you running for this office and why aren\u2019t you running for that?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m doing what speaks to me.\u201d And I think that\u2019s the greatest gift in life. Do what brings you joy. Right? Do what speaks to you. Do what you feel matters. Because at the end of the day, it\u2019s your life, right? And we can each do something that matters to ourselves and to other people. And that is I think a great gift to be able to do that. And I will be able to say I did things that I cared about. I did things that mattered to me, and I hope they inspired others.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> I\u2019ve been speaking with author, journalist, activist Maria Shriver. She\u2019s the host of a new summit. It\u2019s the <\/span>Radically Reframing Aging<\/span><\/i> summit that\u2019s produced in partnership with Sounds True. It features today\u2019s groundbreakers on age, health, purpose, and joy. This is a free five-day online event February 28 through March 4. You can visit www.MariaShriverSummit.com. That\u2019s MariaShriverSummit.com. And featured in the series are leading voices such as Jamie Lee Curtis, Goldie Hawn, William Shatner, Annie Lamott, Rob Lowe, neuroscientists, psychologists, researchers. All looking at how we can reframe aging and turn it into a time of flourishing, of deepening. Of doing what matters. Of putting our heart, our authenticity, and our love forward. Maria, thank you so much for being on <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i>. Awesome.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MS: <\/b>Thank you Tami. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>Thanks for listening to <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i>. You can read a full transcript of today\u2019s interview at resources2.soundstrue.com\/podcast. That\u2019s resources2.soundstrue.com\/podcast. If you\u2019re interested, hit the subscribe button in your podcast app. And if you feel inspired, head to iTunes and leave <\/span>Insights at the Edge <\/span><\/i>a review. I absolutely love getting your feedback and being connected. Sounds True: waking up the world.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"template":"","meta":{"_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[]},"class_list":["post-19408","transcript","type-transcript","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nRadically Reframing Aging - Transcript | Sounds True<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Read the full transcript from this Sounds True conversation with Radically Reframing Aging. 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