{"id":19512,"date":"2022-03-25T13:03:25","date_gmt":"2022-03-25T19:03:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/?post_type=transcript&p=19512"},"modified":"2024-08-16T08:39:02","modified_gmt":"2024-08-16T14:39:02","slug":"s2-e1-from-fighting-to-harmony-changing-your-relationship-with-life","status":"publish","type":"transcript","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/transcript\/s2-e1-from-fighting-to-harmony-changing-your-relationship-with-life\/","title":{"rendered":"S2 E1: From Fighting to Harmony – Changing Your Relationship with Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"image_print\"Print Transcript<\/span><\/a><\/div>

Tami Simon:<\/b> Welcome to <\/span>The Michael Singer Podcast<\/span><\/i>. Michael Singer is the author of the widely influential <\/span>New York Times <\/span><\/i>bestsellers <\/span>The Untethered Soul<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>The Surrender Experiment<\/span><\/i>, and a new book destined to become a spiritual classic, <\/span>Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament<\/span><\/i>. Michael Singer lives and teaches at Temple of the Universe, the yoga and meditation center he founded in 1975 near Gainesville, Florida.<\/span><\/p>\n

Produced in partnership with Shanti Publications, <\/span>The Michael Singer Podcast<\/span><\/i> brings you select recordings from Michael Singer\u2019s teachings at Temple of the Universe. This episode is on \u201cFrom Fighting to Harmony: Changing Your Relationship with Life.\u201d Sounds True would also like you to know about an extraordinary eight-part video course we\u2019ve created with Michael Singer. It\u2019s called <\/span>Living from a Place of Surrender: The Untethered Soul in Action<\/span><\/i>. It\u2019s an online course that many people report to be utterly life changing. You can find out more at michaelsingerpodcast.com.<\/span><\/p>\n

And you can save 15 percent off any Michael Singer program available through Sounds True when you use the code SINGER15 at checkout. Again, that\u2019s SINGER15. And now, \u201cFrom Fighting to Harmony: Changing Your Relationship with Life,\u201d with Michael Singer.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Michael Singer:<\/b> Life is a very, very simple matter, which we make very, very complicated. And the whole purpose of a beautiful life, a beautiful existence, is to get it back to its simplicity. And that doesn\u2019t mean that you live out somewhere and own nothing and have no relationships and create a simplicity like that. This simplicity we\u2019re talking about is not that. It is your relationship with life that it\u2019s all about. It\u2019s not about what life is doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Life is always doing something, no matter where you are. Whenever you look, there will be something going on. If I put you in Paris, look in front of you, there\u2019s something going on. Look to the right, there\u2019s something else going on. Look to the left, there\u2019s something else going on. Pick you up, put you in Yugoslavia. Look to the right, there\u2019s something going on. No matter where it puts you, put you on Mars, put you on Saturn, no matter where you are, there\u2019s something going on.<\/span><\/p>\n

So it\u2019s not a matter of what\u2019s going on, because there\u2019s always something going on. It\u2019s just, it\u2019s not about what life is doing. That\u2019s the folly. It\u2019s about what you\u2019re doing and your relationship to what life is doing. And that\u2019s so I could make you write something, make you write that down. Put it on your refrigerator. It is not about what life is doing. It is about what you are doing with what life is doing. Because life is doing something everywhere. You\u2019re not going to stop it from doing what it\u2019s doing. You don\u2019t know what it\u2019s going to be doing. All right, it\u2019s just what is life doing. Let\u2019s get that out of the way. What is life doing?<\/span><\/p>\n

All these different places, life is doing something. What determines what life is doing at any given moment in a given place? I said I had this beautiful time-space continuum. It goes on forever everywhere. And then, there\u2019s a point. Well, you\u2019re at that point. What\u2019s going on there? The right answer is\u2014are you ready? \u2014none of your business. What\u2019s going on there would be going on there even if you weren\u2019t there. It just happens to be the spot you\u2019re looking at.<\/span><\/p>\n

A wise being, without even using their mind, every single moment, what they are seeing is the result of 13.8 billion years of forces interacting together to create the moment that\u2019s in front of them, period. That\u2019s where it came from. You want to know where it came from? You want to know how it could do what it\u2019s doing? You want to know why things are the way they are? Because of 13.8 billion years of everything being the way it was interacting together to create what\u2019s in front of you. It wasn\u2019t like, purposeful. It\u2019s not like, let\u2019s do it this way, so it ends up in front of him or her 13.8 billion years later.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s just forces, natural forces. The fundamental forces interacting together to create the moments that happen. Then those moments create the next moment. And all of it interacts together. It\u2019s science. It\u2019s cause and effect. How\u2019s that? Every single thing is interacting together in accordance to the natural laws, the natural way of things to create the next moment, then that creates the next moment. And it has been going on everywhere for 13.8 billion years. And that\u2019s how what\u2019s in front of you got in front of you. It\u2019s actually very simple. It\u2019s there because it\u2019s there. How\u2019s that?<\/span><\/p>\n

I told you, it\u2019s so important to just become simple. You don\u2019t want to know how it got there. You don\u2019t have enough time to listen. How long would it be for me to explain to you. All the genetic mutations and all the interactions, everything needed to happen for everything to be the way it is. You\u2019d be bored. You just start at some point, sit there and say, \u201cOh, look, what\u2019s there. Look what took 13.8 billion years to present itself in front of me.\u201d No matter where you are, there\u2019s something going on. It has nothing to do with you. Nothing. It is completely impersonal. It would be going on even if you were not there watching it.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re going to go to a restaurant. But you\u2019re not at the restaurant right now. Why? You\u2019re at home. I know it\u2019s hard to believe, that restaurant is actually there while you\u2019re at home. And there are people in it. And there\u2019s music playing. And there\u2019s chefs showing up or not showing up. And there\u2019s food. I don\u2019t know. They\u2019re just showing you their special. And has nothing to do with you, nothing. It couldn\u2019t. You\u2019re not even there.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then you show up. And somehow, it has something to do with you. I mean, a lot. It has a lot to do with you. I don\u2019t like the music they\u2019re playing. How could they be playing that? They weren\u2019t playing this last time. And where\u2019s the chef who cooked the thing last time? Oh, my god, why weren\u2019t they showing up. And there\u2019s people smoking next to you. Nothing\u2019s the way it\u2019s supposed to be. It was all fine before you showed up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Something is fishy. Something\u2019s wrong. And what you catch on at some point is that it is all going on where you\u2019re not. Everywhere and the whole universe. Everywhere, it\u2019s going on. You\u2019re fine with it. You never complain about what\u2019s going on where you\u2019re not. But the same thing is going on where you are as what\u2019s going on where you\u2019re not. It\u2019s just you happen to be there, seeing that part. You could be anywhere seeing any part. It is so important to reach that level of understanding. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. What? Anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you see that? It\u2019s just what is. It\u2019s what it is. What\u2019s going on? It\u2019s the result of 13.8 billion years of forces interacting together to create the current moment. There. What\u2019s it got to do with you? You weren\u2019t even here. And you certainly aren\u2019t everywhere where it\u2019s happening.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, you just happen to be at one spot of the whole universe, seeing what\u2019s there. Congratulations. I\u2019m glad you get to see something; you\u2019re not seeing much. This is so little and so funny. But you get to see it. It\u2019s your gift. You get to see part of it. Here it is. Enjoy it. But you don\u2019t. Why? Not because of what it\u2019s doing. It\u2019s never because of what it\u2019s doing. It is in harmony with all of creation. Every force that is unfolding is in balance with all the other forces that ever were and are. That\u2019s just how it works. It\u2019s called dynamic equilibrium. One changes, they all change. And it\u2019s in balance and harmony. But it\u2019s impersonal, has nothing to do with you.<\/span><\/p>\n

The problem is, that\u2019s not OK with you. So, I told you, it is not about what life is doing. It is never about what life is doing. It is about your relationship with what life is doing. Now, we\u2019re going to discuss that. We\u2019re going to discuss that. We\u2019re done with life. That\u2019s a big thing to be done with. Been there, done that. All right? What\u2019s it going to do tomorrow? You\u2019ll see. You can do the same thing you did for 13.8 billion years. Be the result of all the forces that ever were. And depending on where you are, that\u2019s what you\u2019ll see. All right, so we\u2019re done with that. That\u2019s science. It\u2019s beautiful. It\u2019s done.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, what about this thing called your relationship with that force called creation, called reality, called what is? Well, that\u2019s a little more interesting. What could be your relationship with it? Well, you\u2019re in here, it\u2019s out there. That\u2019s the real reality. Once you establish what\u2019s out there, reality, then you realize, I\u2019m not out there. I\u2019m in here. I live somewhere that\u2019s inside. And I look out through my eyes, feel through my senses. And I\u2019m in here and it\u2019s out there. So, I have a relationship with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever there\u2019s duality, there has to be some relationship. How do I interact with it? What is your relationship with this force of creation that is unfolding outside of you? What it could be, what it could be is one of harmony. What it could be of one of saying, I don\u2019t even know who I am. I don\u2019t know how I got here. You don\u2019t either, by the way. You think you do. Then you say, I do so. I\u2019m Saul Jones and I live in 1506 Southwest 33rd Street, really. So, if you move, you\u2019re not you anymore. You legally change your name, you\u2019re not you anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not who you are. It\u2019s just a label. It\u2019s just something you\u2019re calling yourself. You are the being who lives inside and knows yourself as yourself. That\u2019s who you are. You know you\u2019re in there. Hi. Are you there? OK, that\u2019s you. The one who I say, \u201cHi,\u201d and you say, \u201cHi.\u201d I told you, it\u2019s simple. So now, there\u2019s you who\u2019s in there. And there\u2019s this world that has nothing to do with you. That was your way before you got here. And it\u2019s going on everywhere you\u2019re not.<\/span><\/p>\n

All right. What is your relationship to that? That is the magical question. That is the entire question of your life. So, what could be your relationship? Let\u2019s do that first. What could be your relationship is, I\u2019m in here. It\u2019s out there. Wow. It\u2019s like a movie I get to see. I get to experience part of creation that has never existed yet unfolding in front of my eyes, and then through my ears, and through my senses. Wow, what an amazing experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

Every single day I wake up, I am going to be given the gift of seeing what happens next. No one\u2019s ever seen it before. No one\u2019s ever seen it before. And no one will ever see what you\u2019re about to see. You\u2019re the only one standing in that spot seeing what\u2019s unfolding. It is the most amazing thing in the world. It\u2019s just this gift of getting to experience the next moment of creation at that spot. You could be in awe. You could just walk around blown away. You can say, \u201cLook what it did now. Who would have thought it would do that?\u201d That could be your attitude.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s called a relationship. That is your relationship with reality. You\u2019re in a state of awe. You\u2019re in a state of appreciation. You\u2019re in a state of acceptance. It\u2019s just, wow, you love it. You\u2019re honored to see it. You\u2019re in a state of respect, of honor to get to see the result of 13.8 billion years unfold in front of your eyes. There are no such thing as problems. There can\u2019t be a problem. In that world, where\u2019s the problem? You\u2019re in here and you\u2019re watching what\u2019s unfolding. There\u2019s no problem. OK.<\/span><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, in your life, it\u2019s not like that. Why? Why? Because you won\u2019t let it be. It\u2019s because of your relationship with life. It doesn\u2019t matter what life is doing. You won\u2019t let it be like that. Why? Because what you have decided to do with your life, you have decided to make up in your mind. You\u2019re in there, you got a mind in there to, to make up in your mind what reality should be doing in front of you. Now, tomorrow, the day after, yesterday has made up in your mind a conceptual model of what should be going on in front of you.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I pick you up and drop you down in Paris, you know what\u2019s supposed to be going on. What\u2019s the matter with these people? Don\u2019t they speak English? It\u2019s like, you will do that. You understand that? You just will develop a model inside your mind about what is supposed to be going on. Where did you get that model? Did you study 13.8 billion years of forces and see how they interact together to decide what really should be happening next.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s funny. Not even close. You got it much easier. You just made it up. You just made it up. This shouldn\u2019t be like this. This should have been like that. She shouldn\u2019t be doing this. He should be doing that. That should never have happened. What, that which happened should never have happened. Who said so? The forces that caused it to happen? No, of course not. Me. I said so.<\/span><\/p>\n

And in what basis did you decide that it should not have happened? I didn\u2019t like it. I didn\u2019t like it. So, it shouldn\u2019t have happened. Really? It\u2019s cute as a button. So, now you trump 13.8 billion years of forces interacting together. I don\u2019t want to talk about it. It just shouldn\u2019t happen. That\u2019s your relationship with what\u2019s going on out there. That\u2019s ego. You make up in your mind how you want it to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

What should happen, what should have happened, what should happen in the future, what should be happening right now, etcetera, etcetera. Just the whole shoulds and shouldn\u2019ts and likes and dislikes that you just make up in your mind. Anytime you just pop up, \u201cOh, I want a new car.\u201d Just billions of things, you just make them up in your mind, like popcorn over and over again.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then you look out into the world. I\u2019m always embarrassed to say this for you. And you say, \u201cI\u2019m right. It\u2019s wrong. It should be the way I said it.\u201d And you get mad when it\u2019s not. In fact, a moment ago, I told you there are no problems. I\u2019ll bet you had a problem with that. OK, now let\u2019s talk about that. Now, let\u2019s introduce problems. What is the problem? Pretty easy now, a problem is that the damn reality won\u2019t behave. This darn thing, get with the program. It won\u2019t be the way I decided it was supposed to be. And that\u2019s a problem.<\/span><\/p>\n

For reality? No, for me. Reality doesn\u2019t seem to have a problem. I just have a problem with it. What I wanted to happen didn\u2019t happen. That\u2019s a problem. What I didn\u2019t want to happen did happen. That\u2019s a problem. What I don\u2019t want to happen might happen later. That\u2019s a problem. It\u2019s like I\u2019m making up in my mind an alternate reality. And I\u2019m defining it as a problem when reality doesn\u2019t behave that way. There. That\u2019s the complexity you created. And that\u2019s very complex. It\u2019s unbelievable how complex that gets. That is the complexity you created that makes life impossible.<\/span><\/p>\n

At that point, I\u2019m telling you, life is impossible. It feels like a struggle. It feels like overwhelming, overbearing. When they ask Christ, \u201cHow are you doing,\u201d you know what he said? \u201cMy burden is light.\u201d My burden is light. What does that mean? Now, you understand. He wasn\u2019t doing that. He wasn\u2019t doing what? Making up an alternate reality and getting mad when it wasn\u2019t that way.<\/span><\/p>\n

He was honoring and respecting the terrible things that happened to him, honoring and respecting the unfolding of reality in front of his eyes. Amazing. What a model, what an amazing being. And he was at peace. He was completely at peace, not a single problem.<\/span><\/p>\n

Buddha taught the same thing. You should understand Buddha\u2019s Noble Truths. They\u2019re so simple and they\u2019re so true. All of life is suffering. Well, we just said that. Everybody\u2019s suffering. Why? Because everybody made up how they want it to be and it never is the way they make it up. So, they suffer. All right. So, what is that\u2014all of life is suffering? First noble truth. Second noble truth, the cause of suffering is desire. The cause of suffering is preference. The cause of suffering is having a way you want it to be that you made up in your head and then it\u2019s not that way. That\u2019s what desire means.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you say the cause of suffering is desire, what is the desire? Desire is that you made up in your mind how you want it to be. If you don\u2019t make up in your mind how you want it to be, you don\u2019t have a desire. The desire is I desire it to be this way. Well, how did you decide that? I just made it up. I just did. I\u2019m so cute. I made it up. So, if you make it up, you\u2019re in trouble. Why? Because that\u2019s just how it works.<\/span><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re in kindergarten, they teach you to play make-believe. They don\u2019t tell you it should actually be that way. They say you just build your imagination. It\u2019s fun. Don\u2019t get mad because the mountain you drew isn\u2019t really there when you go out. That\u2019s not how you play make-believe. Make-believe is make-believe.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you make up something in your mind, you make it up. I want her to love me. I don\u2019t want this to happen. I want this to happen. I want to be a billionaire by the time I\u2019m 23, not 24, 23. Just go on, make stuff up. You just make up things all the time. And then, they become desires. I want them to happen. Too bad. That\u2019s ridiculous. There are 13.8 billion years of forces that interacted together that get to decide what\u2019s going to happen. Not that you want it to happen and you just made it up. And that\u2019s why it should happen. You just pitted yourself against reality. It\u2019s like you\u2019re playing God, literally.<\/span><\/p>\n

The more you look at it, you realize, I guess I think I\u2019m God. Why? Because I get to make up my mind how I want things to be. And then, I honestly believe they should be that way. That must mean I\u2019m all powerful, at least for the moment in front of me. If I had my way, I\u2019m just speaking for you. We\u2019re all the same. If I had my way, the moment in front of me would be independent of every other moment of the universe. But I don\u2019t care about the rest of moments. I don\u2019t care about the moment in front of me. And it should be the way I want. That\u2019s really a wonderful sense of equilibrium and oneness.<\/span><\/p>\n

And you\u2019d better go study some systems dynamics and how things interact together. There are no moments that are independent of the rest. Frankly, it\u2019s all tied together. You don\u2019t get to decide that the moment in front of me is what matters because I want it to be that way. And it should be independent of everything else. I don\u2019t care about the rest. It doesn\u2019t work that way.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, if you picked yourself up against what\u2019s happening, you are going to suffer. You\u2019re going to feel stress. You\u2019re going to feel tension. It\u2019s going to feel overwhelming. You\u2019re going to have a very, very hard time every moment of your life. Buddha said, all life is suffering. The cause of suffering is doing this, desire to end suffering and desire. It\u2019s very simple, very clear. We mess even that up.<\/span><\/p>\n

You know how people get into this stuff, what they think. All right, I\u2019ve made up all these things about how I want them to be and don\u2019t want them to be. Those are my desires. But I\u2019m suffering, I\u2019m suffering. I\u2019m burning up. I\u2019m suffering. Well, it got so hard, it\u2019s so heavy. So, I\u2019ve turned to Buddha. And Buddha said that to end the suffering you\u2019re having, you\u2019re to end desires. So, what I do is I create the desire and then I decided I shouldn\u2019t have it. So, I tried to get rid of the one I created. So they do it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m telling you right now, it becomes another desire. I\u2019m not supposed to have desires. But I do have desires. But I suppress them. I renounce them. I deny them. What do I know? As opposed to, what it means to end desire, is to stop making up the way you want things to be, not make up the way you want them to be and then suppress the fact that you want them to be that way. It\u2019s too late.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s very, very simple. You come back to simplicity. You look at the world. And every morning\u2014you have to do this every morning when you wake up\u2014you look at it, take a good look at it. And say the following, \u201cI didn\u2019t make you. In fact, you were still going on while I was sleeping. You have nothing to do with me. You are the expression of the quantum particles that came up from the bottom fields. You\u2019re just reality. You have nothing to do with me. And I\u2019m honored to see you.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There. That\u2019s very different than, this is what I want to happen. This is what I don\u2019t want to happen. Oh, this happens today. Oh, I was upset that that happened yesterday. That\u2019s a very different relationship with life. I\u2019m coming back to my theme. Reality is there, you\u2019re in here, what is your relationship to it?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You have made a complete mess of that relationship. Don\u2019t feel bad, so has everybody else. You have fallen into this trap of believing that what life is about is to make up how you want it to be. And you think if it would be that way, you\u2019ll be OK. You make up how you want it to be, make up how you don\u2019t want it to be, and then not only expect it to be that way\u2014that\u2019d be bad enough if you kind of kept it to yourself and just got real upset that it wasn\u2019t that way. You don\u2019t do that. You say, \u201cWell, if it\u2019s not going to be the way I want, we have ways. We\u2019re going to make it be the way we want. We\u2019re going to throw tantrums. We\u2019re going to do things. We\u2019re going to, oh my god, just get out of my way. Because it\u2019s going to be the way I want.\u201d And you use your will that you have inside to come out here and square up. You literally try to make the moment in front you\u2014the person in front of you better be the way you want. I don\u2019t care what they do when they\u2019re not in front of me, but they better be wearing what I want and acting the way I want. Isn\u2019t that hilarious?<\/span><\/p>\n

And you just become this manipulative being that believes that the universe in front of you should be the way you want. And lately I\u2019ve been very honest about this. Newsflash, the universe in front of you should not be the way you want. It should be the way it is. There\u2019s no reason it should be the way you want. You just made it up. All right. And if you go out there and try to make it be the way you want, you are going to make a mess of yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry, you won\u2019t make a mess of the universe. It\u2019s too big. It\u2019s made it for 13.8 billion years, handled the dinosaurs and handled the volcanoes and handled collisions. Oh my God, what it handled was unbelievable. Don\u2019t worry about it. And the suns just blow up and explode. And supernovas. Everything\u2019s fine. It\u2019ll handle you. Don\u2019t worry. So, you can handle it. What you\u2019re going to make a mess of is you. You\u2019re going to become an erratic mess. That\u2019s what will happen. You will have so much trouble with life.<\/span><\/p>\n

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TS:<\/b> Living with the uncertainty and the pressures of our time, many of us are feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed. But does it have to be this way? With his new book, <\/span>Living Untethered<\/span><\/i>, Michael Singer has written a follow-up to the classic <\/span>The Untethered Soul<\/span><\/i>, taking us within to our still and liberated center. You can learn more about Michael\u2019s new book at living-untethered.com. That\u2019s living-untethered.com.<\/span><\/p>\n

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MS:<\/b> You will have so much trouble with life. You will be afraid that things are going to happen that you don\u2019t want. You will be afraid that things that you want won\u2019t happen. They\u2019ll always be this enormous sense of fear that things will not be the way you want. And that\u2019s a very valid fear, because they won\u2019t be. So, it\u2019s like you built this cage for yourself in which you\u2019re going to suffer and you\u2019re going to feel tension.<\/span><\/p>\n

So a wise person, what a wise person does, they sit there and say not \u201cI need to not satisfy my desires,\u201d not \u201cI need to renounce\u201d or do anything like that. I need to check out why I insist on making up an alternate reality, instead of honoring and respecting the one that exists. Why am I doing that? That is what a great being does. They check it out. And they don\u2019t struggle with life and they don\u2019t struggle with themselves. There is no struggle. It\u2019s just checking it out. And what you\u2019re going to see is that the reason you make up all these things is because you\u2019re not OK. Your heart is not OK. You\u2019re not secure. You\u2019re not safe. You don\u2019t feel well in there.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, you go to your mind and say, \u201cMind, well, how do things need to be for me to be OK?\u201d And the mind is very intelligent. And it\u2019s your servant. And it says, \u201cOK, ma\u2019am or sir, I will start to think about it day and night. Don\u2019t expect to sleep much while I\u2019m thinking about it. And I will try to figure out how everyone and everything needs to be in order for you to be OK.\u201d And then it tells you. And that\u2019s what that talking head is in there.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, the people say to me, \u201cWhy does that voice talk all the time?\u201d Because you told it to. You said, \u201cFigure out how everything needs to be for me to be OK. And then figure out what I need to do to make it be that way and keep telling it to me.\u201d You shouldn\u2019t have said that. You should have said this. That\u2019s it telling you how it needs to be for you to be OK, for stuff to be OK. At first, you shouldn\u2019t have done that. Oh, my god, don\u2019t let her do that. That\u2019s not going to work out well for you. And that\u2019s how it talks all the time, telling you everything the way it needs to be for you to be OK and then what you\u2019re supposed to do about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

How does one overcome this? How does one come to a state of harmony and state of peace, the state of well-being no matter what is going on outside? It\u2019s none of your business what\u2019s going on outside. You\u2019re a witness, a guest, an observer. You just dropped in for a moment to experience this moment. Don\u2019t worry, the moment will come and go. And so will you. It ain\u2019t all staying. A hundred years is nothing to 13.8 billion. You were not here a hundred years ago, not one of you. And you will not be here a hundred years from now. But yet, it\u2019s all going to be here. Come on. This is so silly, it\u2019s hard to talk about. How dare you drop out here and take the attitude you\u2019re taking, that you know how it\u2019s supposed to be. And if it\u2019s not that way, you are getting PO\u2019d. There\u2019s going to be some trouble. You don\u2019t know anything. It just is.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, how can you interact with it? So, now we\u2019re going to talk about a healthy relationship. It happens to be very, very spiritual to move to this state. A healthy relationship with the unfolding of reality that is going on around you.<\/span><\/p>\n

You start by realizing that you have a problem. Reality isn\u2019t a problem. You have a problem. That you made up all this stuff. You have a God complex. You made up all this stuff, and then you honestly believe it\u2019s supposed to be that way. I\u2019m telling you, that\u2019s a problem. You don\u2019t get to do that. It\u2019s not reality. So, you need to work with your problem. That\u2019s your first thing is you own it. I did this. How does one work with their problem? When it starts happening. Well, it starts happening when you start making up how it needs to be for you to be OK.<\/span><\/p>\n

When you find yourself making up how everything and everyone around you need to be for you to be OK, catch yourself and do not participate in that process. You have to stop the process. It\u2019s a habit. It will go on for a while. You don\u2019t participate in the process. It\u2019s just like you want to stop smoking. You will catch yourself. You may want to stop smoking really badly. But you will still catch yourself habitually trying to pick up a cigarette, trying to do different things.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s very natural. So, if you\u2019ve decided to stop smoking, what you need to do is catch yourself during those moments when the urge is to pick up the cigarette. And I highly advise you to not pick it up. If you want to stop smoking, don\u2019t pick up the cigarette, put it in your mouth and light it. It\u2019s very simple.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you find yourself in the process of starting to figure out how everything needs to be for you to be OK, I highly advise not going there. I highly advise doing the same thing as the cigarette, taking one look at that and saying, \u201cBeen there, done that.\u201d That\u2019s a very good been there, done that, because you\u2019ve been doing it your whole life to solve your problem by making things outside be different.<\/span><\/p>\n

And your problems are just as big, if not bigger than they\u2019ve ever been. So, you look at it and you say that process of me making up in my mind an alternate reality and then trying to fight with reality to make it be that way is not going to cut it and I\u2019m not going to live like that anymore.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, when you start seeing it do that, I suggest that you relax. You just relax. What do I do to feel the urge to pick up the cigarette? Don\u2019t fight with yourself. Don\u2019t hit yourself. Just relax, relax, and the arm can\u2019t move while you\u2019re relaxing. You will not participate in the process of mind while you\u2019re relaxing. You just relax the hold that has on you. For a while, it will be a bit of a struggle. You have to go through some changes.<\/span><\/p>\n

But over time, you will see that you\u2019re capable of doing this. Everyone is capable of doing this. If you\u2019re capable of using your mind to make up however it needs to be and then fighting with it, you\u2019re capable of not. You\u2019re the one who\u2019s doing it.<\/span><\/p>\n

I always tell you guys, you\u2019re the only one in there. It\u2019s the neatest sport you\u2019ll ever play. You win. If you want to win, just win. This is silly, see the whole world. Let\u2019s play one-on-one basketball, but you\u2019re both sides. I think you can probably do pretty good with that. All right, well, this is one-on-one. There\u2019s nobody else in there. There\u2019s nobody deciding what you\u2019re capable of doing and not doing except for you. So, if you decide not to participate in the process, the habitual process of making up how everything is supposed to be for you to be OK, and just be OK with the way it is is your starting position, I honor and respect its right to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

I honor and respect that this took 13.8 billion years to show up. And I should put on to it. I should pay attention to it. I should at least respect it enough to honor its existence. And that\u2019s what you do, instead of making up an alternate reality. You pay attention to what\u2019s in front of you. You\u2019re missing every other moment of the universe. Please don\u2019t miss the one that\u2019s in front of you. It\u2019s the only one you can experience. But the way you miss it is by getting involved in your mind and all your judgments and all your preferences and all that stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, you let go of that and your starting position is you pay attention to what\u2019s happening. But what if I don\u2019t like what\u2019s happening? Let go of that. Oh, I\u2019m telling you. It\u2019s happening. It\u2019s happening. My favorite would shut you up once and for all. But what if I don\u2019t like what already happened? If it already happened, it already happened. I can\u2019t make it not have happened. Or can you? You\u2019re wasting your time. You\u2019re wasting your energy. You\u2019re not going to change it. It already happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

To sit there and not like what already happened is to make\u2014you\u2019re so sick over something that cannot be changed. So, you get to this point. That\u2019s all spirituality is about, is this simplicity of being reasonable. It\u2019s just coming to a reasonable level. It\u2019s not hard. It\u2019s simple. You have to be willing to do it. So, you start working with yourself. That\u2019s what this is called. You start working with your relationship with life. You start off by saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to honor and respect that you have the right to be there.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Christians say, \u201cThis is the day the Lord has made.\u201d You just decided to say, \u201cWell, OK, I\u2019ll accept it.\u201d That\u2019s really big. That\u2019s great of you. All right. And science says, these are the quarks and leptons and bosons coming out of the cosmic soup of the quantum field popping up, creating everything you see. You just said, \u201cI guess that\u2019s OK with me.\u201d That\u2019s really nice of you. That\u2019s really big of you. So, either you\u2019re looking at science or you want to look at God. It\u2019s the same. You\u2019re not the boss.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, you start by honoring, respecting, and accepting the blessing and the reality and the right of what is unfolding in front of you. If you don\u2019t like it, you look at that as disharmonious. You let go of yourself. And as Christ said, you must die to be reborn. It\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about. You literally do the process.<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get mad at yourself for being a certain way. Just don\u2019t participate in that part of your being. You have to get mad at your hand because it wants to pick up a cigarette. Just don\u2019t pick up a cigarette. In fact, if you get mad at your hand, you\u2019re probably so stressed, you will pick up the cigarette. Then you definitely need a cigarette.<\/span><\/p>\n

And same thing with drinking. Just don\u2019t do it. Don\u2019t get mad. Don\u2019t do anything. Just don\u2019t participate in the process that will not take you where you want to go. So, if you find yourself making up an alternate reality, I\u2019m begging you to just let it go. If you find yourself not liking the reality that\u2019s unfolding in front of you, I am begging you, relax and let go.<\/span><\/p>\n

All right. That\u2019s not the end of your relationship with life. That\u2019s the beginning of your relationship with life. You now at least have a relationship with life, you\u2019re actually interacting with the reality that\u2019s unfolding. Otherwise, you only have a relationship with yourself. Life unfolds, you don\u2019t like it, you are interacting with the \u201cdon\u2019t like.\u201d You\u2019re interacting with life. You\u2019re interacting with the part of you that doesn\u2019t like it. Life unfolds, you start making up an alternate reality that you wish was that way or wasn\u2019t that way. You\u2019re not interacting with life. You\u2019re interacting with your mind\u2019s concepts.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, all of a sudden, you decide I\u2019m going to have a relationship with life itself. So, it starts to unfold. You let go of the part of you that wished it was doing something else. You let go of the part of you that doesn\u2019t like it. And the next thing you know, you find yourself in direct interaction. What self? Me, the one who\u2019s in here in direct, unfiltered interaction with the reality of what\u2019s unfolding in front of me. Wow, you understand I could just stop the entire discussion. You have just reached a state that is unbelievable.<\/span><\/p>\n

You know, sometimes you turn a corner when you\u2019re driving and the sun is setting. And it\u2019s like this giant ball. And it\u2019s just so beautiful that it takes your breath away. It\u2019s like a spiritual experience. That is what it feels like for you in there to directly interact with reality without a filter in-between. It blew your mind. That\u2019s literally what it did. It blew your mind away. So now, there isn\u2019t one of those things in the way, all right? There is just you interacting with reality.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maslow called it a peak experience. That\u2019s what a peak experience is, where you got beyond you. And now you, your true self, your conscious being, your aware being, interacting with reality. Nothing in-between. The Buddhist called it \u201cjust tree.\u201d There. That\u2019s the expression of wisdom. We saw just tree. I didn\u2019t see my concept of tree, didn\u2019t see the tree like it was when I was young, didn\u2019t see the tree that a person should be climbing on. I just saw tree. There was no me in-between.<\/span><\/p>\n

The more you\u2019re able to do that, the more you will feel fulfillment that is beyond your comprehension. When you\u2019re in love with somebody and you sit in the presence and that magic energy is moving back and forth, you\u2019re not doing anything about it. You\u2019re just in it. It\u2019s so beautiful that you melt into it. That\u2019s just tree. That\u2019s just you experiencing the reality that\u2019s unfolding in front of you. You should experience that all the time. Listen to me, all the time.<\/span><\/p>\n

But you can\u2019t. Why? Because reality is always unfolding. You\u2019re always there. Why can\u2019t I do that all the time? Because you have something to say about it and you\u2019re rather loud. Reality starts unfolding and something inside of you starts to say whether it likes it or doesn\u2019t like it, the way it should have been, the way it shouldn\u2019t have been. What do you want to do about it? It\u2019s like it\u2019s just making all this noise.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, now it\u2019s not you interacting with reality. It\u2019s you interacting with your own noise and all the likes and dislikes. So, you learn to cleanse yourself of that. You learn to relax and not participate in that process.<\/span><\/p>\n

And more and more, when the world unfolds in front of you, you are there with it. And it\u2019s like at first, it\u2019s like, wow, where have I been my whole life? I didn\u2019t even know it was there. I was like walking around in a daydream. I just woke up lost inside myself with a fishbowl over my head. Now, look at that. There\u2019s a world out there.<\/span><\/p>\n

You still are only just starting your relationship with life. You use that relationship with you, not with life. Now, you have been introduced to reality. There it is. It\u2019s raw, too. Sometimes it rains or storms, wind and tornadoes. Sometimes it\u2019s Bali and soft and beautiful. It\u2019s reality. It\u2019s real stuff. OK. And you\u2019re open to it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now what happens? Once you get comfortable being with reality, this is very deep. This is what Lao Tzu tried to talk about in the Dao. Now that you are willing to let go of yourself, your personal self, and interact with reality, or awareness is now experiencing reality, you will find that there\u2019s not one single moment that unfolds in front of you that is not calling to you to interact with it. It is there, you are there. Because you are meant to be with each other. That\u2019s how perfect it is. It\u2019s like the most perfect relationship, people looking for their soulmates, it\u2019s right in front of you. It\u2019s called life. It is the most perfect fit for your being.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why you\u2019re there and it\u2019s there. And you will feel it. And you will know what to do. I\u2019m telling you, you will never, ever have trouble making a decision again for the rest of your life. You will never wonder. You will never have any angst or anything. It\u2019ll just be the universe… It\u2019s sort of like, listen to me. You\u2019re on the ocean on a surfboard. How do you know when to go up and when to go down? The wave does it for you. You just ride the wave. The wave comes up, you go up. The wave goes down, you go down.<\/span><\/p>\n

But what if I want to go down when it goes up? You fall. What if I want to go off when it goes down, you fall. It\u2019s like you just interjected yourself into a system that you\u2019re supposed to be in harmony with. And if you are in harmony with it, you will know exactly what to do. Because it\u2019s telling you what to do. It\u2019s not telling you with words, but it is telling you what to do, isn\u2019t it? It\u2019s telling you what to do. It said, go to the right, go to the left. Feel it, be in harmony with it. That\u2019s how you ride a wave. That is the Dao. That is what Lao Tzu was talking about, how you ride life.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re not busy in there wanting it to be other than it is, then you are in harmony with what it is. The moments know where they\u2019re going. They\u2019re part of a harmony that\u2019s moving through time and space. You are here to experience that and participate in that. We don\u2019t have to do anything. It is happening to you. You\u2019re happening with it. And then you\u2019re going to see that what happens, you start just being with it. And everyone looks at you and says, \u201cOh, you\u2019re so good at everything you do.\u201d You\u2019re not doing anything. You\u2019re not doing a single thing. But you\u2019re neither doing or not doing. That\u2019s the deepest of all the teachings.<\/span><\/p>\n

You are there with it. It\u2019s doing something. The ocean is doing something. So, obviously, if you\u2019re on the ocean and the ocean is doing something, it looks like you\u2019re doing something. What I just told you is the entire Bhagavad Gita. It\u2019s the deepest teaching you will ever even come close to. Everyone will think you\u2019re doing things. You\u2019re not doing a single thing, but you\u2019re also not, not doing either. You are just being on the ocean and being with it. And the ocean knows where it\u2019s going. Therefore, you will be the one who\u2019s in harmony with everything. It\u2019s so simple that we miss it.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want to play baseball and you want to pick up a grounder, I do not think that what you should be doing is guessing where it\u2019s going to go next. You should be watching it. Why? Because it knows where it\u2019s going next. You see, that seems so weird. You\u2019re the smart one. You should be the one who can figure it out. I guarantee you right now that ball knows more about where it\u2019s going than you do.<\/span><\/p>\n

The ground and the ball and the interacting with them knows way more about what\u2019s going to happen next than anything you\u2019re going to figure out. That\u2019s where they say keep your eye on the ball. They don\u2019t say keep your eye in your mind. They don\u2019t say that.<\/span><\/p>\n

They say keep your eye on the ball in every sport. Why? Because the ball knows where it\u2019s going. It\u2019s the forces of nature, therefore it knows where it\u2019s going. It is perfectly in harmony with all the forces that it\u2019s interacting with, isn\u2019t it? So, if you keep your eye on the ball, you have a better chance of being where it\u2019s going because you\u2019re paying attention to where it\u2019s going. You\u2019re not guessing. You\u2019re not figuring. You\u2019re not using logic. You\u2019re not worrying. You\u2019re not angsting. You\u2019re not hoping. You\u2019re not praying.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even a good religious coach, if you say, \u201cCoach, when the ball is hit, should I close my eyes and pray that I get it? Or should I watch the ball?\u201d They\u2019re going to tell you, \u201cForget the pray stuff at that time, I pray that you can keep your eye on the ball.\u201d All right, you\u2019re supposed to keep your eye on the ball. And it\u2019s the same thing with life. I\u2019m telling you, it\u2019s exactly the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

You come into harmony with the moments that are unfolding in front of you. Well, why would I do that? I\u2019m not even going to answer you if you sat here this long because they are the moments of sitting in front of you, What if you don\u2019t like them? It has nothing to do with like and dislike, does it? It has to do with dancing with it. What if I don\u2019t like what the waves are doing? Then don\u2019t surf because you\u2019re going to fall. And it\u2019s the same way with life.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, you sit there and you do this amazing thing, which you\u2019re going to freak out the first time you do it, and you close your eyes and you say, \u201cLife, do your thing.\u201d Instead of life, do my thing. Life do your thing. And then you little by little take your arms down. Then you little by little open your eyes. And you little by little realize, you know what, that\u2019s all it\u2019s ever been doing is it\u2019s this thing. I\u2019m just making it believe that I could do something about it. It\u2019s the result of everything there ever was.<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t understand how you think that the whole universe can go on by itself, but the part in front of you, you have to do. It defies logic. That\u2019s the funniest thing I ever heard of. It\u2019s all going on by itself and it\u2019s all been going on by itself forever. But no, this can\u2019t go all by itself. OK, well, it can\u2019t and it does.<\/span><\/p>\n

And the day you let go that part of you that thinks you\u2019re in charge when you\u2019re not, and you use your consciousness to pay attention to where the ball is going, you keep your eye on the ball and you be here now. You come right down here and you keep your eye on it. And you be willing to let go of your likes and dislikes and your preferences and your hopes and your dreams. And you let where it\u2019s going be who you are. Not my will, but thy will. You come in harmony with reality. That\u2019s what all of spirituality is about. And the next thing you know, you\u2019re going to be shocked at what happens.<\/span><\/p>\n

It knows where it\u2019s going and where it\u2019s going is beautiful, it\u2019s holy, it\u2019s great. It will take you to places that you would have never dreamt of going. It will caress you to your\u2026 Gibran says it will caress you to the highest branches and it will shake you at your roots. That\u2019s beautiful. Why? Because you need to be shook at your roots and you need to be caressed at your highest branches. Not when you want to, not the way you want to, just life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It needs to rain when it rains. It needs to blow your hair up in the wind when it needs to blow your hair up in the wind. And you need to enjoy the entire experience because it\u2019s higher than the experience you would make for yourself and, more and more, as you let go you realize this. You come in harmony with this until, eventually, you let go so deeply that you\u2019re not there. You realize there is no need for this separateness to be there thinking about it. You can just be in harmony with it, and you emerge. You will emerge. It\u2019s like a drop falling into the water. You fall into life.<\/span><\/p>\n

We always talk about meditating back behind. This is the path. You stop separating yourself from God, separating yourself from reality. It\u2019s a very deep path, the willingness to surrender to life. So, that becomes the simple path. I told you, actually life is very simple. The Buddhists say, the grass is green, the flower is red, and the sky is blue. What does that mean? That\u2019s very Zen. It means things are what they are. Are you willing to come in harmony with that instead of trying to make them come in harmony with you? To the extent that you do, this life becomes very simple.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, what if I\u2019m going to school? You go to school. What do you mean? What do I do when I go to school? You get your homework, you do your homework. You go to class when it\u2019s time to go to class. Why? Because there\u2019s nothing else to do. It\u2019s like, there\u2019s no part of you, \u201cI\u2019d rather be fishing.\u201d No, I\u2019d rather be doing what I\u2019m doing. I\u2019d rather not be rathering. It\u2019s much more fun to like what you\u2019re doing than to rather be doing something else.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, if you\u2019re in school, you go to class, you learn. Why? Because somebody is teaching you. It\u2019s very nice of them, right? And then you do your homework, you go to class, and what will happen? You will enjoy the experience. Why? Because it\u2019s the experience you\u2019re having. You won\u2019t be thinking about something else. And just pretty much more and more you live the life that is unfolding in front of you with your entire heart and soul. You put your whole being into the moment that\u2019s unfolding in front of you, and you trust it. You trust it. It knows where it\u2019s going. You give yourself to it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Life is your teacher. Life is your friend. Life is God made visible. It\u2019s a very, very great thing. This gives a good starter course on how every moment of your life can be used for your spiritual growth and how you can stop this neurosis and enjoy every second of your existence. Become something very holy, very beautiful. Work on these things. Chakra.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> You\u2019ve been listening to the Michael Singer podcast, produced by Sounds True, in partnership with Shanti Publications. Sounds True is the copublisher of a new book with Michael Singer, <\/span>Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament<\/span><\/i>, and has also produced with Michael Singer an extraordinary eight-part video course, <\/span>Living from a Place of Surrender: The Untethered Soul in Action<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a9 Sounds True Inc. Episodes: \u00a9 2024 Michael A. Singer. All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n

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