{"id":9559,"date":"2021-11-16T10:08:27","date_gmt":"2021-11-16T17:08:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/?post_type=transcript&p=9559"},"modified":"2021-11-16T10:08:27","modified_gmt":"2021-11-16T17:08:27","slug":"what-we-long-for","status":"publish","type":"transcript","link":"https:\/\/resources2.soundstrue.com\/transcript\/what-we-long-for\/","title":{"rendered":"What We Long For"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"image_print\"Print Transcript<\/span><\/a><\/div>

Tami Simon:<\/b> Welcome to <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i>, produced by Sounds True. My name is Tami Simon. I\u2019m the founder of Sounds True, and I\u2019d love to take a moment to introduce you to the new Sounds True Foundation. The Sounds True Foundation is dedicated to creating a wiser and kinder world by making transformational education widely available. We want everyone to have access to transformational tools, such as mindfulness, emotional awareness, and self-compassion, regardless of financial, social, or physical challenges. The Sounds True Foundation is a nonprofit dedicated to providing these transformational tools to communities in need, including at-risk youth, prisoners, veterans, and those in developing countries. If you\u2019d like to learn more or feel inspired to become a supporter, please visit SoundsTrueFoundation.org.<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re listening to <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i>. Today my guest is Becca Piastrelli. Becca is a writer, speaker, ancestral folk medicine keeper, and women\u2019s group facilitator. She\u2019s a leader in women\u2019s empowerment and earth wisdom, teaching women how to cultivate a sense of belonging through her online and international retreats, her blog, and her <\/span>Belonging<\/span><\/i> podcast. Becca connects with thousands of women from her home in Northern California. And with Sounds True, Becca Piastrelli has released a new book, it\u2019s called <\/span>Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

At just 36 years old, Becca has a whole lot of wisdom about the journey of moving from what she calls a sense of feeling severed\u2014the great severing that we\u2019ve experienced culturally from our sense of being embodied, connected to the land, connected to our ancestry, connected to a sense of community, connected to our own body as nature\u2014moving from that great severing to a sense of feeling rooted, rooted in who we are, where we are, and who we\u2019re with; and how we can follow the thread of what we long for to arrive in that rooting. Here\u2019s my conversation with the wise young person, Becca Piastrelli.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Becca, by way of introduction, can you share with the Sounds True audience a little bit about you, the personal journey that brought you to write <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Becca Piastrelli:<\/b> Sure. I think the word that captures the existential ache that has been a through-line of my life so far, my 36 years on this planet, has been a sense of not belonging. And not just not belonging in like a friend, group, or community\u2014although that\u2019s certainly presented itself at an early age, but not feeling like I belonged in my body, not feeling like I belonged in the natural world, feeling separate from the trees and the plants, and even scared of them, and being descended from people who are not native to this land I live on. Feeling like I didn\u2019t know where I belonged, on what land, on what soil, in what body, in what community. And so when I could finally name that, it took me on a journey of reclaiming my belonging, which I believe is a lifelong journey. I\u2019m not here today to say, \u201cI belong,\u201d I think it\u2019s never linear, it\u2019s often spiralic.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I\u2019ve realized there are ways we can look back to how our ancestors, no matter what your ancestral portfolio is, the way our ancestors lived as a way to soothe ourself in this <\/span>eremocene<\/span><\/i>, or age of loneliness, as it\u2019s being called by many great thinkers, of how so many of us feel severed and so many of us feel untethered from a sense of rootedness. So, this book is an offering that comes from my journey for folks who resonate with that same feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And you start the book by talking about loneliness.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP: <\/b>Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And you refer to it as a hole, the hole of loneliness. Hole as in H-O-L-E. And that image, I thought, was powerful. I wonder if you can just speak to that for a moment?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

BP: <\/b>Yes. Well, in my research for this book, and in general, the history of the term loneliness\u2014loneliness is actually a very recent chronic experience of humanity that was only really spoken of in literature in the last several, like the last 150 years. So that got me thinking about why that is, which looks to the history of severing humanity from the natural world, which then put us into cities and then put us into \u2026 And then we had the creation of cars, so we weren\u2019t meeting on the streets, which then had us in this nuclear family, primarily, most of us in this single-family-dwelling situation where we aren\u2019t really speaking to our neighbors. And most of us are connecting with each other through technology.<\/span><\/p>\n

So this hole that I have felt in my life really feels like something has been taken away from us as humans, as interrelational beings, communal beings, that I think we need to look at to move forward.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And I think what\u2019s interesting is\u2014I think a lot of times when people tune in to their own loneliness, they think, \u201cOh, there\u2019s something about me. I\u2019m \u2026 whatever. I\u2019m too this, I\u2019m too that, I am isolated.\u201d It\u2019s me, me, me, me, me. And really what you\u2019re pointing to is that there\u2019s a greater systemic context that we need to look at even to understand and appreciate our loneliness in a context. So I think really in many ways, <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i> helps us understand that greater context, and how we can connect to our rootedness.<\/span><\/p>\n

And you divide the book into four sections\u2014Land, Lineage, Community, and Self\u2014and how we can find our belonging or rootedness in each one of these areas. And I want to briefly touch on all four areas. And we\u2019ll start with finding our belonging, our sense of belonging, in terms of our relationship to land. Tell me the journey you took to find a sense of connectivity, rootedness, in land where you live.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP: <\/b>Well, I am not someone who grew up with the crinkly-eyed grandmother with the accent from the homelands, who took me out into the forest after a rain to show me which mushrooms weren\u2019t poisonous and which part of the plant to pick in order to be medicinally nourished for that time of year. I grew up in suburban California in tract housing, watching television in the 80s and 90s, eating processed food, fearing the sting of a bee and the poison of a mushroom, and went to the mall and did all that stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I go back further, I can see that I did want to climb in the trees, and I was interested in the way the ants moved on the sidewalk. But for the most part, it was a calling back to the natural world that happened to me in my 20s after I did the thing I did, the corporate climb-the-ladder, do-the-city thing, and still felt that hole, that ache.<\/span><\/p>\n

And what called to me was like from farmers\u2019 markets, and wild flowers on the side of the highway, and a real visual dream, like a daydream, of the way our ancestors once knew the ways of the land and could make medicine and help birth children and could make the soup from memory and had an ease in their bodies with the changing of the seasons and the waxing and waning of the moon. And I realized I did not feel that and I wanted to feel that. So it really was a calling back and just following my curiosity, teaching myself how to garden and learning about medicinal edible plants and just going step-by-step.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> In <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>, one of the things you write about is pursuing this question, \u201cFind out whose land you occupy.\u201d I thought that was really interesting. I\u2019d never really thought about it. So first of all, explain that, and then we\u2019ll talk about it some.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yeah. So part of this process of returning to our roots is acknowledging the history of how we are where we are today. Wherever you\u2019re listening from, the land you live on is most likely not the land your great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandparents called home. And I think a really important part of returning to a sense of belonging, reclaiming who we are, is acknowledging the parts of history that maybe don\u2019t feel so savory or are uncomfortable, filled with grief.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, one of those is the fact that those of us living in North America, or Turtle Island, are living on lands that other people, native people to this land, Indigenous people\u2014it\u2019s their original home. And so there\u2019s a real movement now happening to know and name the people whose lands you live on, ceded or unceded.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I\u2019m coming to you today from the lands of the Coast Miwok people who are still here today. And I think that brings a level of\u2014it\u2019s humbling, and it\u2019s also connecting you to the bones that are buried beneath the soil, and helping bring a deeper connection to where you are, instead of this colonial concept of building on top, claiming ownership, just curating land to your desire. There\u2019s a different energy there, one of reciprocity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>Now, you live just north of San Francisco, and yet you gave voice and named a different way of acknowledging the land that you live on. How does that different way acknowledging the Indigenous people who lived on that land before you, how does that actually change things? How do you take that information and make it palpable, real? How does it change you?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Well, I believe that many of us are living in this fog of colonization, whiteness, capitalism, where we can often just forget the history of these lands we live on, and how we got here, which is contributing to our sense of loneliness, which is contributing to our sense of unbelonging. And so, to name in honoring the land that you are standing on and the people who are the original stewards, tenders to this land, it\u2019s actually shifting you from a passive way of being into a more active, engaged way of being, if you\u2019re remembering whose land this originally was. Like, are you going to look at your garden differently? Are you going to look at your neighbors differently? I think it engages the nervous system in a deeper way.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think so many of us need to humble ourselves to the natural living world, one that we are a part of. This whole concept of the term \u201cnature\u201d being a colonial concept that separates us. You go out into nature, well, we are of nature. That\u2019s an Indegenous concept. Because Miwok, whose lands I live on, know that to this day. I\u2019ve forgotten it though because of a lot of reasons, and it just was erased. But I can reclaim it enough through this simple act of naming, and other activities I share in the book.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> I\u2019m going to press on this a little bit, if it\u2019s OK?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>Because I was on your website, and you offer a link where you can go to that link, and you can type in your address, and you can find out which tribal people were on that land before you. So I typed in my home address, and I learned that the Arapaho and Cheyenne Indegenous people lived in this area where my home is in Boulder, Colorado. But I\u2019m not exactly sure what to do with that information, just to be honest with you. I took it in, but I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ve yet been changed by it, really. And so, that\u2019s why I\u2019m pressing a little bit, because I want to go to the\u2014your book is called <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>. I want to get to the root of this, because I feel like there\u2019s something there that I haven\u2019t quite gotten to yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yes. I appreciate your honesty with that, because you\u2019re probably not alone. So, what I would encourage you to do with that information is to then look into, are these people still there today? Is there a tribal council? Is there a website for the tribe? Are their elders still gathering? Is there a way you can offer reparations, whether financially or with your time, that can engage you more deeply with these people who\u2014some people will look up the names of the tribes of their lands, and they are gone. And I\u2019m going to guess that they\u2019re not gone, where you live. And then maybe you can learn about the treaties, the treaties that either gave them or took away their land. And that can give you more of a context, instead of just\u2014naming is that first step, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

Knowing the name is one thing. Then being able to speak to the suffering, the joy, their traditions. Can you know the names of the\u2014what did they name each full moon? What do they eat? Maybe they can teach you about what native foods you can eat, maybe you can learn what a traditional meal is. It just opens up this pathway to connect more deeply with them and their ancestors who\u2014you are a guest, basically, on that land. And then it can help you connect more deeply to Arapaho, Cheyenne land. I mean, Boulder is such a beautiful place. Like, what are the native foods there? What are the sacred trees? Where are the sacred sites where their ancestors are buried? That can only bring a deeper sense of connection to where you live.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And I can tell that one of the things that comes up, and I think it would come up for anybody as they journey and say, \u201cOK, I\u2019m going to go deeper, I\u2019m going to go deeper into this.\u201d There\u2019s something that you write about, which is confronting the pain of colonization. The pain for some people may be the grief, the guilt, all of that, that whole constellation. What do you have to say that can be helpful to people as they make that part of the passage?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yeah. Can be very overwhelming to look at that, particularly if you are descended from folks who settled these lands, which a lot of us are. Not all of us are. And I speak to my journey in that process, because I share first how I do it, and then I invite you to join me with that. And I think, in general, our culture has lost the ability to grieve as ritual, and so I can tell you about ways to take action, to engage in reparations, and ways to be a better steward of this land, and to be a better ancestor, which I do.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I think the first step here is to be able to be with that pain, right? Be with the pain of the attempted wiping out of Indegenous people. Be with the pain of the history of slavery on this land. Be with the pain of the extinction of species. Be with that pain and move it. I know you\u2019ve had Joanna Macy on your podcast. She has a beautiful, beautiful practice of working with feeling the grief and moving the grief. And I think it\u2019s hard and scary. And it doesn\u2019t kill us, actually, it engages us more deeply. Right? We\u2019re moving from this passive sort of freeze response into a place of taking action, because we are in a time with changing climate, with the moving of the culture, with our sense of loneliness and unbelonging, to need to be in action toward being better ancestors ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now in terms of finding our belonging with the land, you talk about the whole notion of practicing reciprocity right where you live, wherever the earth, the natural environment is. Right? Talk more about that, and how you do that.<\/span><\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Well, I have to thank Robin Wall Kimmerer and <\/span>Braiding Sweetgrass<\/span><\/i> for really planting that seed of understanding reciprocity in my daily life, this idea of extractive mindset that so many of us were born with. It\u2019s the water we\u2019re swimming in, right? What is for me, what can I take, without this idea of exchange, the reciprocity of equal give-and-take. A way that creates more life for us in any way. And that is an Indegenous concept that our own ancestors also practiced, where, if we are harvesting from our garden, what are we giving in thanks? And they offer ideas like, is it a song? Is it blowing a kiss? Is it leaving a strand of hair?<\/span><\/p>\n

I have a friend who her first harvest from her garden. She\u2019s been waiting for those ripe tomatoes and those juicy fruits from her fruit tree, and she offers it back to the land. She does not put it in her mouth, she puts it in a basket and she leaves it for the squirrels, and for the deer, and for the land spirits that she recognizes, too, to enjoy. And so, I love the first harvest of offering, that feels really important. But I find that when I have an urge to pick a flower, I even have\u2014 I\u2019ve learned this from going to Ireland and working with Celtic women who are participating in Celtic shamanic practices of herbalism, of asking the plant, \u201cMay I pick this flower?\u201d And actually waiting for the plant to nod, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And part of us go, \u201cThat is crazy.\u201d But that\u2019s also a part of us that has been severed from this living world. Right? The part of us that is like, \u201cWhat? It\u2019s just a flower.\u201d But engaging in reciprocity with just asking a flower, \u201cMay I pick you? You\u2019re so beautiful, may I pick you?\u201d That spreads to how are we going to treat each other, right? How does that create more community care in a time where that is really where we\u2019re being called to move to, taking care of each other in these times? How is that going to impact the rest of our world when we move from, \u201cWhat can I get from this?\u201d to \u201cHow can I be in reciprocity with this?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, Becca, let\u2019s make sure we\u2019re talking to that person who lives in a high-rise in an urban environment and says, \u201cBoulder, north of San Francisco, this is all sounding really great. But how am I going to be in a relationship of reciprocity where I live in my very urban concrete land?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yeah, well the sun still rises and the moon still rises and trees are planted\u2014but they are trees, no matter what. So, there is a way to do that. You can put your feet on the earth in the park on the corner, you can ask for permission from the flowers you\u2019re tending on your stoop. I think there are ways. Like, even a city sits atop soil and the earth. Even if it\u2019s paved over, it\u2019s there. And what waters move beneath the surface of that concrete jungle? It\u2019s always there.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s also something that took me a while to realize. We\u2019re outside of the living world. You know, the living is everywhere, and there are ways. Even if it\u2019s just energetic, right? Asking permission, giving thanks to the setting sun, these are old ancestral Indegenous concepts we can bring wherever we are.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Beautiful. Now, in this section of <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i> we were talking about finding our belonging or rootedness with the land, you have a section about how we relate to our home, whatever our home is, and you write, \u201cI\u2019ve learned to sit with the soul of my home and listen to what it wants.\u201d And I thought to myself, \u201cOh, OK, that\u2019s interesting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And I\u2019m married to a woman who is in relationship with the soul of our home, and she often talks to me about it. But I have to say, it\u2019s still a little mysterious to me that what this means\u2014the soul of our home, listening to it. So, help me understand what that means to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Well, I\u2019m going to bring in a pop culture reference here to this craze that\u2019s happening with Marie Kondo, <\/span>The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up<\/span><\/i>. And then she had a Netflix series where she came into homes and she helped them tidy up. And in the beginning of every episode, before she begins the tidying, she sits in the middle of the house, she puts her hands on the floor, and she thanks the house, and she asks permission to tidy it up. And every time the owners of the house start crying. And I thought, \u201cWell, there is a woman who understands the soul of a home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s an animist concept, right? It\u2019s an animist belief, which is also an ancestral Indegenous belief that everything around us is alive in some way. And if that\u2019s true, how would we treat things if we knew that they were alive? So, sitting with the soul of a home can really help us shift our energy around feeling flat, or needing to change, or needing to keep up with the Joneses in some way to actually seeing our home as being in a relationship with it.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, as someone who used to be embarrassed by the mess and wanted to curate my space to look like a magazine versus how it may feel to me, it has been a really important way for me, particularly after the last year and a half of being in my home during a pandemic, really sitting with, what does this home love? And it turns out it\u2019s some toys on the floor, and soup bubbling on the stove, and candles on the mantel. And it\u2019s just been a beautiful way for me to shift the energy that I know so many of us struggle with. Like, \u201cOh, my house isn\u2019t feeling right.\u201d It\u2019s engaging with the home as if it had a soul.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> OK. So let\u2019s talk to that person who says, \u201cI want to try this. I want to give it a go. I want to hear what the soul of my home wants.\u201d Can you help them get a little traction with this? I\u2019ve never done this before, I\u2019m just listening to my own ideas. I know I should clean that closet out. So, is that really the soul of my own talking?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> That\u2019s a great question. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s different for every person, but my intuitive response is to get quiet. And maybe there\u2019s some sort of meditation you can do with listening first, and then trusting what you hear, which can sometimes be hard. Like, did I make that up? Or is this really true? Is this what I want? This is a practice. If we\u2019re coming from this great severing from all these concepts, it\u2019s going to feel a little wobbly at times, but that\u2019s what I would say: start with just getting silent, maybe lighting a candle, and just saying, \u201cHey, house, apartment, townhouse. What is it you need that I\u2019m not giving you?\u201d Maybe it\u2019s clean the toilets, maybe it\u2019s a few more plants. And just follow that thread, make a practice of doing it once a month and see what happens.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>It\u2019s a powerful phrase you just used, this great severing of our root system, really.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yes. Yes, it\u2019s like we\u2019ve\u2014when you pull up a carrot out of the ground, you can see how long that carrot is. That\u2019s why I feel like so much of that has happened to us and our ancestors over just the last few hundred years. We\u2019ve been uprooted in so many ways, not just through the naturalness that is human migration, but it\u2019s our disconnection from our own bodies, from our own intuition, from our spirituality, from knowing and feeling connection to a tree. It\u2019s deep and it\u2019s wide, and it\u2019s going to take time to reestablish our roots in the earth in a way that feels like, \u201cOK, we\u2019re doing this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, in <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>, you start\u2014the first section of the book is about our belonging with land and home. And then you move into the second section, belonging in terms of our lineage, and you\u2019ve mentioned a few times ancestors and ancestry. So, I\u2019d like to understand more what belonging in terms of lineage means to you, and the personal journey you have been on to reclaim your own sense of lineage.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Well, that is very personal to every single human being. It\u2019s a very personal story, and definitely brings in layers of privilege. I am descended from the continent of Europe, and so in that white privilege I have so much data I can access through ancestry websites, documentation, the DNA test. There\u2019s so much genealogically I have access to that has been very helpful to me in rewriting the story of being, like, a cultureless white girl from Northern California.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so in the book, I offer ways for people with various stories, including adoption, being of mixed race, not wanting to really go the genealogical route due to family trauma\u2014it just not feeling like a yes. There are so many ways you can access. I mean, we have millions of ancestors, and all of them lived so that we could be alive today. And they all have stories. Some of them are pretty awful, and some of them are incredible. And so, I took the journey of rewriting the story that I am cultureless, I am bland, in order to really feel a deeper connection to who and where I come from. And it led me down all these pathways.<\/span><\/p>\n

One of my chapters is talking about connecting to ancestors through food and folklore, very popular chapter in all my interviews so far, because food is quite emotional for us. And I talk about how I\u2019m lucky enough to have gotten access to diary entries from my great-great-great-grandmother that were then transcribed and copied to find out about the life-changing lima bean soup, this lima bean soup that was given to my great-grandmother when she was six years old. And she had emigrated from Poland to New Orleans, lived in factory housing, working at six years old in a shrimp factory. The factory housing burned down, they were penniless on the streets, they were going to go drown themselves in the river.<\/span><\/p>\n

And talking about community care, a woman recognized them, said, \u201cDon\u2019t do it,\u201d brought them in. And what my great-great-grandmother could remember was the life-changing lima bean soup she was given. So, when I read that I thought, \u201cWow! The role of food in being the story of why I\u2019m here today.\u201d Because my great-grandmother had my grandmother, who had my father, who had me. That\u2019s one pathway that took me on this journey.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so, in my encouragement to all of us going on our own journeys of ancestral connection, I say, it\u2019s like a tangled web that we\u2019re reweaving back together, and you sort of follow your curiosity in what\u2019s presented to you, whether it\u2019s through dreams, whether it\u2019s through DNA results, whether it\u2019s through genealogy, whether it\u2019s through a connection to a plant or a star. There are so many ways for us to feel a connection to all that we came from to be here today.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, Becca, I\u2019m not that good at math or anything, but when you said we each have millions of ancestors, I had a moment I was trying to see the family tree and go back and\u2014is that what you mean when you say we each have millions of ancestors?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yeah. Right. Because if two people come together and then they have a child, and just think it just splits and splits and splits and splits. If you do the math it\u2019s\u2014oh, yeah, it\u2019s a lot.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, you write in the book, \u201cI want to encourage you to think beyond the last two or three generations, and connect to the mighty dead.\u201d And that caught my attention, this idea of moving beyond just our great-grandparents were\u2014and the mighty dead. Who are the mighty dead?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yes. This is a concept that I heard about many years ago to really speak to the nameless, faceless ones we come from. This is especially helpful for folks who do not want to go near any relatives, near ancestors, right? The last few generations. No, thank you. So, the mighty dead would be the nameless, faceless ones who lived so long ago, or maybe like aren\u2019t even human. If you look at the evolution of ourselves and our DNA, it\u2019s pretty wild, far-out stuff. Is it mushroom? Is it tree? Is it star? And that it can feel safer for a lot of people to connect in that deeper way. It\u2019s conceptually pretty esoteric, and it\u2019s also of deep comfort to many.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>Now, I\u2019d like to know, personally, in terms of your own sense of belonging, outside of the lima bean soup, how all the research you\u2019ve done, everything you\u2019ve discovered, knowing your ancestry, how that\u2019s changed you and affected you in terms of feeling more like you belong as a person.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> I think for me, there\u2019s a comfort that comes from\u2014I\u2019m a very visual person. So oftentimes, when I\u2019m feeling alone in my experience of the world, I remember that there are many who came before me. And they all have stories, whether I know them or I sense them or I don\u2019t know them. I remember I was about to give birth to my child a little over a year ago, and I was feeling really scared of birth, and then I thought about all the birthing people of my lineage, probably millions, who have done that before. And in what circumstances did they give birth? In covered wagons, under trees, in hospitals, in homes? And there was a comfort in calling them to my side in my moment of real doubt and real discomfort and fear, to help me do something that I didn\u2019t feel like I could do alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, there\u2019s something in\u2014this is an ancestral Indegenous concept of the ever-happening. I talk about mythic time, ancestral time. In many Indegenous languages there is no past or future, everything is ever-happening. So, if everything is ever-happening, then I can call my ancestors, what can be known as the bright and well ones, right? The ones who are in a healthy way to come and support me in times when I need them. That has been the biggest and most recent impact to me that has felt near and dear.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> That\u2019s a terrific example. Terrific example. And I can imagine whoever\u2019s listening, thinking about whatever challenge they might be facing and thinking about how our millions of ancestors went through whatever challenge that might be, and how that could be a lot of support. That\u2019s beautiful. Thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I know you\u2019ve gone on an ancestral pilgrimage. And you write, \u201cPhysically being on ancestral lands creates a surge of rootedness.\u201d So, I\u2019d like to know more about that. Tell us the story of an ancestral pilgrimage that you went on, and what happened.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Well, I mean, we\u2019re talking in a time where travel is much more complicated than it used to be. But going back to a time when there was more of an ease in booking a plane ticket and going somewhere, again, in needing to rewrite my story of not belonging here, not belonging anywhere, and then doing the research to see, \u201cOh, there\u2019s \u2026\u201d I have a general knowing of lands, not just like countries, but like bioregions, where my ancestors lived at a time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I wanted to go there and made it a priority to go there. So one of them is Scotland. My maiden name is Guthrie, and that\u2019s a Scottish name. And I went to the Highlands of Scotland, and went to the Hebrides, just a cropping of islands on the west coast of Scotland, and I went to the Isle of Skye. And I remember I was there and I felt compelled to go wild swimming. And it\u2019s very cold in the waters there, lochs and lochans everywhere, peat-colored, just like the color of tea.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I found a local guide to take me and my partner hiking to these remote lochs, where we would strip down and he would teach us how to breathe in cold water. And we would swim in these freshwater lochs just surrounded by wild sheep, highland cows, and the cloudy skies. And that experience in particular\u2014it was also the summer solstice, so it was like the sun was never not down, and I remember being in these waters. I mean, I had learned how to breathe enough that I actually felt kind of warm in my body in these very\u2014like 35 degree waters.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I felt a sense of like, I am of these waters. These waters are in me. My ancestors drink these waters. These waters come from a sky over these lands. It just felt so moving to me and so comforting in a situation that you wouldn\u2019t associate with comfortable, a situation you would associate with like, \u201cWhoa, that was hardcore, Becca.\u201d But actually, it just felt so sweet to me. And then we\u2019d get out, we\u2019d bundle up, we\u2019d have a little bit of whiskey, and then we\u2019d walk back.<\/span><\/p>\n

And all of a sudden, I was looking at like the bog cotton growing out of these highland cow pies. And I could just see this land with such an appreciation for its beauty. Not that I can\u2019t do that on lands my ancestors are not from, but it just brought a soothing to my body to be like my \u2026 And I have very muscular legs. It\u2019s the joke in my family, like, \u201cOh, those are Scottish legs for hiking the hills of the Highlands.\u201d I was hiking the hills of the Highlands with these thighs, and thinking, \u201cWell, here I\u2019m doing it, just like the great-great-great-great-greats did it.\u201d It brings a sense of soothing to the yearning of my heart.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> You mentioned your pregnancy and birth, and being a new mom. And I\u2019m curious, as a new mom bringing your child into the world, if all the lineage work that you\u2019ve done informed that process in some interesting way? Made you look at your child perhaps differently?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Absolutely. I actually had quite a journey in conceiving. I had quite a bit of loss in trying to conceive a child. So, my daughter was very much consciously conceived. I know not everyone has that story. But it took many years to finally get her on Earth. And in that time, again, in calling upon the ancestors to birth her, I was calling my ancestors who had lost babies, which is a very common ancestral story. And at times feeling really, really just filled with grief.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like, it was almost too much. My desire for a child was just almost too much to hold, and really calling upon ancestors and learning the stories of my ancestors who had experienced pregnancy loss and who had had successfully had children, and bringing them all together so that now I have this child who, after many years, was born right in the pandemic. And I thought, \u201cWell, here\u2019s some timing. We\u2019re born right in the time where the land was burning around us.\u201d And I thought, OK, so there\u2019s got to be some sort of\u2014I got mythic in a way for me, where I just think about the story of this ancestor I\u2019ve created.<\/span><\/p>\n

I mean, I remember I wrote her birth story in this book I got, and I just think now, this is an ancestral artifact that then, who will read this someday, if they\u2019re lucky enough to? That I have that view now of being an ancestor and creating an ancestor for the future, that brings deeper meaning to the way our lives unfold.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> I want to talk, Becca, to that person who\u2019s listening, who says, \u201cLook, unlike Becca, there\u2019s not a bunch of research I can do to find out what\u2019s going on more than two or three generations back. I don\u2019t have the information. I do feel a severing, I don\u2019t feel connected to a cultural or geographic root system. And I really don\u2019t know what to do about it. And it is a source of pain and loneliness for me, that I don\u2019t have that information, and I don\u2019t know how to get it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yeah. So, in the book I offer a myriad of ways to connect to who and what we come from. It\u2019s not just who writes what. And one of the ways that I have found to be most helpful is dreamwork. I am trained in this concept of Indegenous dreaming, which is seeing the dream world as being just as valid as the waking world. And in fact, all of our ancestors used dreamwork as divination work, as a way to make meaning of what we\u2019re experiencing.<\/span><\/p>\n

And so oftentimes, when people come to me without that access and feeling really lost and unrooted, I ask them to go to their dreams. And I ask them to follow their curiosities. Is there a plant that\u2019s calling to you? Is there a stone that\u2019s calling to you? And can you speak to the mighty dead, the nameless, faceless ones that you don\u2019t know where they lived in the world, or you don\u2019t know their story? But can you ask for support from them and see what comes to you, whether it\u2019s when you\u2019re awake and journaling or whatever, or looking into the flames of a fire scrying, or if you\u2019re dreaming? And to just follow it. Even if it feels like you\u2019re pretending for a little bit, to just follow it and to see what comes of it, because that is valid as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> You said the word \u201cscrying.\u201d What does that mean? What does that mean?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Scrying is a practice of divination by looking at an object. So the most common in pop culture we know is looking in a crystal ball.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> The tea leaves.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> The tea leaves. Right? But it can be making meaning of the shapes of a cloud. Right? Or looking at the way the wind blows through tree leaves, or looking into the flames of a fire. That\u2019s my favorite one. I bring in these concepts in the book not to make them seem like magical, mystical, otherworldly things, but actually practices our ancestors made a part of their life to make meaning of what their experiences of life were.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>OK. I want to make sure we touch on the final two sections of <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>. You talk about finding our belonging through community. And you mentioned that you yourself think you felt for a long time\u2014I don\u2019t know if you used the word outsider, but that was the feeling that I had. You didn\u2019t feel that you had necessarily a supportive community. How have you worked to generate a shift in that so that you belong in community?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yeah. Well, I can\u2019t really say what I did before speaking to all the ways toxic relating, or unhealthy relating, were modeled for me growing up. I also had\u2014I was in Girl Scouts and had these examples of like beautiful friendships and connections with my community. But I also saw betrayal, I experienced betrayal, I was one who betrayed. What was modeled for me with women in particular was like cattiness and untrustworthiness. And it took a real effort on my part to say, first of all, name what my desire was, which was I want to feel close kinship and trust with community members, particularly women\u2019s, really wanting to feel sisterhood, as someone who didn\u2019t have a sister.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And the more I talked about it, the more people would say to me like, \u201cYeah, I was burned bad,\u201d or, \u201cNo, I\u2019m just not into that sort of thing.\u201d And so, what I have been in the practice of, which has actually been kind of challenging but worthwhile, is being in healthy community settings, where I am both modeling and practicing with others. Witnessing, not trying to fix people, not trying to please people, and realizing it\u2019s like an atrophied muscle that takes some building.<\/span><\/p>\n

I find particularly, as people are coming back together with the pandemic waning, it\u2019s happening for us again, where we feel a little socially awkward and nervous, and we\u2019re afraid people are judging us, so we\u2019re judging them. And community care is the way, like I said before. So, how can we be with conflict? Talk about that right now. Right? How can we be with differing opinion? How can we love each other and listen to each other and really be there for each other? That\u2019s a practice I\u2019ll be in for the rest of my life.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> You mentioned having a history where there was pain and betrayal in friendships. And one of the interesting parts of <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i> in the section is you offer a ritual for letting go of all the ways you\u2019ve been hurt in friendships. And I wonder if you can share that if people were like, \u201cThat\u2019s my story, I\u2019ve just been so hurt\u201d?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yes. I\u2019m sorry to everyone who has experienced that. I\u2019m sorry you\u2019ve been hurt. That\u2019s really painful. And I think in order to call in that which you long for, which is healthy, safe community, you\u2019ve got to really let go and release, not let go and forget, right? In honoring the ways you\u2019ve been betrayed, whether by burying it in the earth, or burning it in a fire. Really that physical symbolizing, right? That ritualizing of, I want to end this suffering so that I can do a new way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I truly had a pivot in my life where it was like, \u201cOh, I\u2019m not going to just drink wine and talk crap about the friends who aren\u2019t in the room, I\u2019m going to bring a different energy into this room.\u201d And I think ritual helps us completely shift, whether it\u2019s maybe it\u2019s not stopping to talk crap, or maybe it\u2019s starting to lean in to trust, leaning in to vulnerability, and sharing the tenderest part of ourselves with each other, because that is actually what creates connection.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> It\u2019s interesting you mentioned bury it, like write it on a sheet of paper, bury it, or burn the sheet of paper. Recently I participated in a ritual where I let go of some grievances by throwing sticks into a river. And you\u2019d think like, \u201cOK, pick up a bunch of sticks, throw them in the river.\u201d And I myself was a little bit like, \u201cOK. I\u2019m going to try it.\u201d But I found this very simple act, throwing sticks into a river and watching the river take the sticks, there was something powerful in the doing that wasn\u2019t the same as just saying out loud, \u201cI\u2019m, \u2026\u201d So, I\u2019d like to hear more why, if we bury it, burn it, or throw it in a river, what is happening that makes it more palpable, more effective?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Well, it\u2019s somatic. So, so many of us live in our heads, and that\u2019s really been modeled for us by our culture. But when we bring a physicality, that\u2019s what ritual really provides. It\u2019s taking what is inside of us and bringing it exterior. And then the witnessing of it, whether it\u2019s being witnessed by other people, by ourselves, by the trees, by the river, it\u2019s a way to shift the energy. A lot of us are trying to think our way out of things, and that doesn\u2019t usually work. That ritual has been around a long time, a long time, and it can be simple. Throwing of the sticks, it\u2019s a movement of the body that makes us believe it is so.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>It\u2019s true. I mean, going into your backyard and burying something. I mean \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Oh, yeah. Give it to the earth, it\u2019ll compost it into fuel for the worms and the roots and the waters. That feels good, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Yes. All right. Let\u2019s touch on the last section of <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>, which you say in some ways is the most important, belonging in terms of our very own self, belonging with our body and our self. And you talk a little bit that for you, the journey of accepting your body, feeling a sense of belonging inside your physical frame, was quite a journey, wasn\u2019t just like presto magical. So share a little bit about that.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Presto magical, nope, not that. Yeah. I was pretty aware of the ways in which my body did not fit into the ideal mold of the beauty-industrial complex pretty early. I have a daughter now, so I think that is pretty early. And that really took me on a wild ride with disordered eating and a lot of internalized shame and crying on the fitting room floor of Macy\u2019s at the age of 13 and all these ways. I just felt bad and wrong for inhabiting my first home, right? This body that my soul resides in, this sacred thing. This is like the vehicle of my life that holds\u2014it is a temple. And I\u2019ve been told that, and it took me a long time to believe it. A lot of heartache and feeling bad and wrong.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s this phrase that I use in the book from my friend, Mara Glatzel, who\u2019s also a Sounds True author of, \u201cYou Are Sacred Land.\u201d And that really brought a connection point, which is another Indegenous concept of our body being the earth, and our earth being the body. It\u2019s like, I would never do this in my beloved garden, why would I do this to my body, the way I think of it, the way I treat it?<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I\u2019m in no way on the other side of feeling fully presto magical in this space. I still feel very caught up at times, particularly being postpartum, with the ideals of the beauty industry. But there is a deeper understanding of me and nature being one, this concept of rewilding, that I ebb and flow with the cycles of the moon and the seasons. And that my body is going to expand and contract and move with the experiences of my life. That\u2019s actually a big relief to the part of myself that has always wanted to change it or make it fit into some sort of mold, as if it is one static thing instead of a living, breathing creature.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> What would you say to that person who hears what you\u2019re saying, your body is sacred land, and part of them believes it, but part of them just still feels stuck in some kind of shame thing, and they don\u2019t quite know how to get out of it?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Oh, yeah. Well, I\u2019d say find spaces where you can talk about it. Right? The shame likes to live in the darkness. Shame likes to live in the place where you don\u2019t talk about it. So Bren\u00e9 Brown talks about, I think, the more we can have that experience of, \u201cOh, I\u2019m feeling that as well,\u201d I think we can lift the paralysis that shame does to us, particularly around body, which then creates these dark cycles of leaving our bodies, right? Dissociating, numbing, whatever practices we do to not feel that shame and not feel that pain.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have found as a new mother to just be in spaces with other new mothers and talk about like, \u201cMy body feels different, and I\u2019m kind of judging it today.\u201d And having other folks in that space say, \u201cYeah, I know what you mean. Thank you for saying that.\u201d That just lifts the shackles.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Now, you use this phrase that I picked up on, I already mentioned it, because I found it really impacted me, \u201cthe great severing.\u201d And then I thought to myself, well, OK, so here we are, we\u2019re finding our roots now, your book\u2019s called <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>, we\u2019re finding the ways we\u2019re rooted. Is there an image for you that occurs to you when you experience yourself as someone who is actually rooted in some ways, or an image that occurs to you for that?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Yes. What a wonderful question. Absolutely. One of my practices in meditation is visualizing myself as a wise old oak tree. Like, my roots spread down into the soil and wide, and they\u2019re nourished. And I can visualize my roots in the soil, and all the creatures and organisms that are fed in reciprocity beneath the soil, and a very strong, thick trunk, like a strong back, particularly someone with back pain, it\u2019s like a strong healthy back, and then these beautiful leaves reaching out every which way up towards the sky. That, to me, feels like one who is rooted and wise.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS: <\/b>So you\u2019re like a human tree?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> That\u2019s what I want to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> Beautiful. One final question for you, Becca. Toward the end of the book you write that the journey of belonging can always be framed by asking ourselves, \u201cWhat do I long for?\u201d And letting the answer be witnessed by others. And I wanted to hear a little bit the part about being witnessed by others, and why that\u2019s so important on the journey of belonging.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Witnessing is key, and something I\u2019ve realized I crave and fear at the same time. And it really comes from rites-of-passage theory, rites of passage being a natural transition in the way we are seen in our community. And this happens throughout our lives, no matter what our cultural identity is. So I recently went through one for being one without children to one with children. When one gets married, when some\u2014now it can happen when buying a new home or getting a new job.<\/span><\/p>\n

But in the three phases of a rite of passage, there\u2019s pre-liminal, liminal, and post-liminal, or who you were before the entrance and the severing, from where you were before the transition, and then being reentered and witnessed by your community as changed. You\u2019re seen as changed. This idea of being seen is proof that we are communal beings, whether you identify as an introvert or not. Being witnessed in what you long for, being witnessed in what you desire to be seen as, and do in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think particularly in this time, when we\u2019re recognizing that things aren\u2019t working, we\u2019re lonely, we don\u2019t feel a sense of belonging, we feel unrooted, bringing and inviting our community in to see us in our transformation, to see us in our reclaiming, is where we can settle into that, into a sense of reestablishing our roots.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And even just asking ourselves this question: What do I long for? You can answer that at a lot of different levels. There\u2019s kind of a surface level of something you might long for, and then there\u2019s kind of the deepest longing inside of you. I wonder what you have to say about that.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Oh, yeah, it\u2019s a question we\u2019ll be answering for as long as we\u2019re privileged to be alive. Right? And is it, do you long to feel at ease in your body? Do you long to feel a sense of cultural identity? Do you long to feel that you know the plants, the land you live on, and they know you? Do you long to feel like you have community you can call upon and they can call upon you? All of these are true and valid. And it\u2019s like the onion you just keep healing to go deeper and deeper, that I think takes us to a sense of wise eldership in our lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> And your book, Becca Piastrelli, is a beautiful guide. It\u2019s a beautiful book to sit with to receive instructions and suggestions and possible rituals, recipes, all kinds of things. It\u2019s chock-full. It\u2019s, I think, a true resource for people on rooting ourselves and using ritual to do so. The book is called <\/span>Root and Ritual: Timeless Ways to Connect to Land, Lineage, Community, and the Self<\/span><\/i>. What an accomplishment for such a young person, really.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

BP:<\/b> Thank you so much. It\u2019s definitely a dream realized, and very exciting to put out into the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

TS:<\/b> I\u2019ve been talking with Becca Piastrelli, the author of the new book, <\/span>Root and Ritual<\/span><\/i>. Thanks so much for being with us.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you for listening to <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i>. You can read a full transcript of today\u2019s interview at SoundsTrue.com\/podcast. And if you\u2019re interested, hit the subscribe button in your podcast app. And also if you feel inspired, head to iTunes and leave <\/span>Insights at the Edge<\/span><\/i> a review. I love getting your feedback, being in connection with you, and learning how we can continue to evolve and improve our program. Working together, I believe, we can create a kinder and wiser world. SoundsTrue.com: waking up the world.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"template":"","meta":{"_expiration-date-status":"","_expiration-date":0,"_expiration-date-type":"","_expiration-date-categories":[],"_expiration-date-options":[]},"class_list":["post-9559","transcript","type-transcript","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat We Long For - Transcript | Sounds True<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Read the full transcript from this Sounds True conversation with What We Long For. 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