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It's OK That You're Not OK
Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

Challenging conventional wisdom on grief, a pioneering therapist offers a new resource dealing with intense loss.

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When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form,” says Megan Devine. “It is a natural and sane response to loss.”

So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible?

In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you›ll learn:

  • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
  • How challenging the myths of grief—doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold—allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve
  • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to “fix” your pain
  • How to help the people you love—with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process

Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to “solve” grief. Megan writes, “Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution.” Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face—in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves—and each other—better


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Finally ... a book about grief for EVERYONE Review by Michelle L.

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I've been gifted, loaned and purchased many grief books in the two years since my son died. I can honestly say that none of those texts resonated with me and the truth of my grief experience more than Megan Devine's new book. She is a credible source of useful information, bringing not only her educational and occupational background to bear but more importantly her own life experience with deep loss and a broken culture. Above all, she is a truth teller and an advocate you'll want in your grief space.

The beauty of this book is the universal insights it offers for EVERYONE who has experienced deep grief or desires to genuinely support another in their loss. The author outlines a refreshing take on grief for the reader's consideration, one where acknowledgment and a desire to love better are critical components in supporting ourselves and each other following a significant loss (ie. death, accident, illness, etc.) She adeptly explains the model's concepts in lay terms, provides numerous examples for better understanding, and recommends practical exercises that one can use to help identify and manage the impact of grief. The quotes from her writing students are especially relevant and poignant.

I found Megan's work validating and thought-provoking, especially concepts such as her broader definition of "early grief", common platitudes (and why I feel their adverse affect), the critical distinction between pain and suffering (and how to minimize latter), grief as an experiment rather than a problem to be solved, and the vital role of acknowledgment and companionship in creating a way forward. One of my favorite sections is the appendix, an essay on helping a grieving friend, which offers carefully-crafted and readily shareable ground rules for supporting a loved one.

I'd recommend reading this book if you or a loved one are in the midst of deep grief and looking for validation, guidance, and honesty in a post-loss world. This book, and especially the associated resources available at refugeingrief.com, are powerful tools for navigating your grief landscape with love and understanding. It's permission to grieve in your way and in your time ... and this has made all the difference in my own post-loss landscape. (Posted on November 6, 2017)

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Raw honesty Review by Jo

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This book is written by someone who "gets it". Someone who has been there and has been through a devastating loss of a loved one. She speaks with a raw honesty about how our culture is not prepared for the grief that comes with loss. It is well written, easy to read, and has helped educate me, in my shattered grief, that my grief belongs to me; that I am not crazy and I'm doing grief the only way I know how; that there's no time limit on grief and everyone deals with grief in their own way. And it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel distant from the rest of the world. It's okay NOT to be okay in grief.
A must read for educators, counselors, health care workers, and EVERYONE. We will all experience death and loss in our lives. (Posted on October 26, 2017)

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Paperback Book

Contents 1 Paperback Book (280 pages)
Date Published October 01, 2017
ISBN-10 1-62203-907-6
ISBN-13 978-1-62203-907-4
Dimensions 5 1/4 x 8 inches
Product Code BK05059

Ebook

Contents 1 Ebook (280 pages)
Filetypes EPUB, MOBI, PDF, JPG
Date Published October 01, 2017
ISBN-10 1-62203-908-4
ISBN-13 978-1-62203-908-1
Product Code BK05059W