Dominique Christina is a writer, performer, educator, and activist. She holds four national poetry slam titles, including the 2011 National Poetry Slam Champion. With Sounds True, Dominique has released a new book called This Is Woman’s Work: Calling Forth Your Inner Council of Wise, Brave, Crazy, Rebellious, Luminous, Loving Selves. In this episode of Insights at the Edge Tami Simon and Dominique discuss a deliberate use of language and how that use can help women to better author their own lives. They talk about courage, and how a woman taking control of the narrative of her own life is “a stunning act of bravery.” Finally, Tami and Dominique speak on the 20 different female archetypes introduced in This Is Woman’s Work, focusing on two of the most difficult: the Whisper Woman and the Ghost Woman. (63 minutes)
Kelley Kosow is a Certified Master Integrative Life Coach and the entrepreneur behind the popular Go Goddess!™ brand of books, games, and seminars. Today, she is the CEO of The Ford Institute. With Sounds True, she is publishing her first book, The Integrity Advantage: Step into Your Truth, Love Your Life, and Claim Your Magnificence. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Kelley speaks with Tami Simon about the definition of integrity: what it is, why it isn’t necessarily evenly spread across every aspect of one’s life, and how it arises from our greatest personal truth and vision. They also talk about Kelley’s journey from being focused on future outcomes to one of self-acceptance—a journey facilitated by her mentor, Debbie Ford, that required her to confront and integrate even those parts of herself she considered “negative.” Finally, Tami and Kelley discuss the legacy of Debbie Ford, her death, and why Kelley decided to take up her mentor’s mantle as an Integrative Life Coach. (59 minutes)
Robert Wright is a scholar, journalist, and the author of books such as Why Buddhism Is True, Nonzero, and The Evolution of God. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Robert and Tami Simon examine meditation from a slightly different perspective, discussing the practice as both a tool of discovery and a kind of rebellion against the hardwired instincts of natural selection. They speak on whether there is a secret order to the universe and what truly fuels moral action. Robert and Tami also talk about different ways to conceive of the arising of thought and of “enlightenment” itself. Finally, Robert comments on how stepping back from our mental processes comprises a “metacognitive revolution” that is key to the survival of the human race. (76 minutes)
When we’re children, we’re encouraged to use our imagination. Yet over time, we tend to leave the imagination behind and emphasize logic and rational thinking. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Pacifica Graduate Institute founder Stephen Aizenstat, Ph.D., about reclaiming the vast resources of our imagination and boosting what he refers to as imaginal intelligence.
Covering fascinating insights in his new book, The Imagination Matrix, Tami and Professor Aizenstat discuss: imaginal intelligence—the capacity to evoke imagination; how curiosity opens a different quality of being in the world; imagination and the neuroplasticity of the mind; the Dig—Aizenstat’s term for journeying into the matrix of the imagination; the practice of Dream Tending; active imagination and the work of Carl Jung; the autonomy of the deep imagination; two questions that shift us from the person-centric view of our dreams; the sense of support and belonging we find through dreamwork; how imagination evokes innovation, creativity, and motivation; the four quadrants of the Imagination Matrix—Earth, Mind, Machine, and Universe; “the place of confluence” and accessing the gifts of the imaginal realms; dreamwork as complementary medicine; the Wounded Healer; listening to the stories coming forward at this time in human history; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
The wounds, scars, and pain we carry as men have a place in our lives. A function that can lead us directly to the core of deep meaning and fulfillment and provide a positive path forward. This is what initiation was supposed to teach us as men—how to descend into the depths of our own darkness and return a more complete and contributive participant in society.
However, this is where a man’s real problem resides: He has not been taught the skill or alchemy of initiation. He has not learned how to deal with his pain, or the pain of the world, and so he bucks against it.
I realized over the years of grappling with how to heal that not only was I ill-equipped to deal with the hurt I’d been given, but I also seemed to be woefully ill-equipped to reconcile with, and put a halt to, the perpetual hurt I passed on to others. Like many men, I was good at inflicting pain—and men who are good at something tend to do that thing a lot.
Not only was I undereducated in the alchemical craft of turning pain into purpose, but almost every man I knew was in relatively the same situation. Most men simply haven’t been taught how to deal with their pain and use it to become something better.
And this aspect of the journey is the missing link in male initiation, which has historically played the role of guiding a man through the transitory period between adolescence and adulthood, teaching him the skills of discipline, sovereignty, and the ability to face some of the most challenging aspects of his own life.
In fact, I began to see that not only have most men not been given the tools or resources to deal with the pain and suffering in their lives, but we as men are actively taught the opposite—the idiotic tactic of constant emotional avoidance. Not only this, but our emotional avoidance is seen as a theoretical and rational strength in certain circles.
Seeing this brings about a multitude of questions that both illuminate the foundational cracks within current masculine culture and also highlight the work we must embark on if we are to do our individual and collective parts as men in building a thriving society.
There’s more: I began to see the direct correlation between a man’s ability and willingness to face his own darkness and having a clear purpose, deep fulfillment, and clarity of contribution to the things that matter most to him.
But how can we as men give our pain a purpose in a culture where we are largely devoid of emotional permissions? Where the archetype of man, in order to be classified or quantified as a man, must do the impossible task of being brave and courageous without being vulnerable?
This is one of the biggest masculine myths—the false idea that you can be courageous without being inherently vulnerable. When we are rewarded for giving our lives, our hearts, and our emotional bodies up for sacrifice to maintain the illusion of invulnerable strength, we prioritize victory over connection. We praise ourselves for performance in the boardroom, bedroom, and bars, but we lack recognition for our performance in reconciliation, repair, and reparation.
There’s another way. A way where victory is found within the work, and part of that work is facing our own darkness.
Excerpted from Men’s Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom by Connor Beaton.
CONNOR BEATON is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to the personal growth of men. He is a facilitator dedicated to building better men, an entrepreneur, a writer, and a keynote speaker. Connor has spoken to large corporate brands, nonprofits, schools, and international organizations such as the United Nations, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson, Apple, TED, and Entrepreneurs’ Organization. For more, visit mantalks.com.
Tami Simon speaks with Joshua Leeds, a sound researcher, music producer, educator, and one of the leading authorities in the emerging fields of psychoacoustics and bioacoustics. Joshua is the author of The Power of Sound and Sound Alchemy. With Sounds True, he released three music programs in collaboration with Dr. Andrew Weil: Deep Calm, Increase Vitality, and Relax and De-Stress. He has also created Through a Dog’s Ear: Music to Calm Your Canine Companion. In this episode, Joshua discusses the psychoacoustic principles of how tone, tempo, and pattern affect our mind and body; why sound is a “nutrient” to the nervous system, and how sound and music affect the lives of our “best friends”—our canine companions. (66 minutes)
