Clea Shearer: Well, um, cancer is complicated is something I kept saying over and over again. When people would ask me about certain moments of my journey. saying. You know it well, it’s complicated, you know, ’cause it, it is. I often found myself with answers that were not black or white.
Tami Simon: In this episode of Insights at the Edge? My guest is Clea Shearer. She’s the author of the new book. Cancer Is Complicated.
And other unexpected lessons I’ve [00:01:00] learned. You may be familiar with CLIA share as the co-founder of the home Edit, a home and lifestyle company that began with the goal of reinventing home organizing and merging it with design. It’s a hugely successful brand. The home edit was acquired by Reese Witherspoon’s.
Hello Sunshine, and it was in this same season of the company being acquired the spring of 2022, that CLIA Sheer was diagnosed with an aggressive form of stage two breast cancer at the age of 40. And her book Cancer is Complicated, Chronicles her journey. Her treatment and recovery process, the book, offers the energy of companionship.
It’s loving, compassionate, funny, it’s a [00:02:00] friend to you on a cancer journey. If a book could be such a friend, CLIA welcome.
Clea Shearer: Thank you so much for having me and for that description makes me feel happy.
Tami Simon: Tell us about the title. Cancer is Complicated.
Clea Shearer: Well, um, cancer is complicated is something I kept saying over and over again. When people would ask me about certain moments of my journey. saying. You know it well, it’s complicated, you know, ’cause it, it is. I often found myself with answers that were not black or white. That, um, there was so much nuance in this disease and there’s so much, um, hills and valleys that happen. And I found myself realizing more than anything is that
Tami Simon: Okay.
Clea Shearer: Complicated. It is, it complicates your life in unexpected ways. Um, it’s complicated because sometimes [00:03:00] there are really joyful, happy moments, and that doesn’t seem to gel with this experience of illness that you’re feeling. Um, it’s complicated because your relationships change sometimes for the better.
Sometimes, um, in, in. ways. Um, it’s just a very complicated journey. Is is the way. Is the way I kept framing my experience. Um, and so I, I wanted people to see all those complexities and, um, and all the nuance, the shades of gray, um, in the middle, because cancer is not one thing. It’s also, it’s not what you see. Movies and on TV shows. Um, it, it is, it is so much more than that. Um, and the good, the bad and the ugly, um, and in, in between. So, um, that is why I decided I kept coming back to that, um, as trying to explain my journey and just that. It is complicated and um, and I [00:04:00] think that that was a really good place for me to start in terms of thinking through what I wanted to express to people.
Um, and I wanted to share many things, but that conclusion in my mind really crystallized a lot of how I wanted to explain my journey to people.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: One of the things I reflected on cancer is complicated, but all of our lives are actually complicated. I notice even when people just say to me, how are you? I think, well, okay, which version of the answer should I give them? Because it’s often, there are many dimensions. To what’s happening in any given moment in our lives.
And I, I wonder what your reflections might be on that, because I think that as the world has accelerated with its pace of change, our inner lives, if we are to tell the truth, are actually more nuanced and multi-layered then can often be answered and reflected in just one word, one wavelength.
Clea Shearer: And I, I think that that’s [00:05:00] absolutely right. I just think that. We expect our lives to have layers of complications and nuance and complexities and relationships that come in and out and all of those things. I personally expected cancer to not have those layers. I just thought it was gonna be awful. I just thought it was just, this was, um, an end to the way I was living my life. This was going to be, if anything, um, either like. Going to my life was gonna be horrible forever, or I was going to be a little mosquito frozen in amber while everything was going on around me. I didn’t expect that there would be, um, so many planes that that happened throughout my journey. So it was actually, it was a surprise.
You know, I, I expected in life, I didn’t expect, expected cancer, I guess. Um, if I was expecting anything, I think that I was expecting it to feel either like a moment, like a, a year, whatever, frozen in time, [00:06:00] or that life as I knew it would never exist again. So it was, it was, um, honestly, I was, I was grateful to discover that there were, there was all that nuance in there, um, and that there were things to discover that weren’t always bad.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Mm-hmm. Now towards the beginning of the book. You write that You asked a question I think many people asked, but then you asked a second question that I don’t think many people ask, which is why me? And then you asked why not me? And I think sometimes, I mean, your life was like a fairy tale of Midas touch accomplishment.
And one could say like, okay, you know, everything works for Clia Shera. She touches it, it turns to gold. Oh wait a second. Why not me? I’m not immune to these types of really difficult things happening. So how did you come to ask that question? Why not me?
Clea Shearer: Well, I really was, and I think that that’s, it’s [00:07:00] normal for the first, I would say, 10 days, and I would give yourself the space to have this be longer than 10 days. I was just sad and felt. could this be me? Like I just felt like there’s no way things are so good right now. It’s, it’s not possible.
How on earth? Like, why me, why do I have to go through this? And you know, it’s, no one wants to feel like a self pity kind of moment, but I think when you get diagnosed with cancer, you’re. Allowed to feel all the feelings that, that you want. And I really was, was deep in that, um, for the first maybe week and a half or so, and I just, I had a moment of clarity and it just all of a sudden like. The, the doors opened up in front of my face and it was like, well, wait a second. Number one, why would, why, why not me? Like, why am I exempt? What? Because I, I [00:08:00] have had, I have beautiful children and a family I love, and I have success, and all those, like, why, why would I be exempt from getting cancer? And furthermore, why not me? When I have all the resources to be able to do this, when I have the support of friends and family and work, uh, why not me? I can handle the medical bills. I, I have the strength and resolve. I’m like one of the toughest people I know. Why not me? I can do this and maybe other people can’t do it. So not just, why not me?
Why would I be exempt? Why not me? I. Of people, I can do this, so why not me? If I, if I, if there’s one in eight women, um, who get diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime, and I’m sitting in a room, you know, full of eight women, well. You know, I, I can do it. Maybe I [00:09:00] can save them from having to go through it.
So I, I, it really changed my perspective and I never looked back from that. I never had another why me moment with cancer. I had a lot of complete. Meltdowns. Like, don’t get me wrong, I was, I, I certainly was not full of like toxic positivity throughout my journey, uh, whatsoever. I had, uh, many moments of feeling terrible and feeling sorry for myself, but I never felt like, how, why did they, why did this, why did the universe pick me for this?
I, I never had that feeling again. I felt actually really emboldened and empowered by the fact that I. I was the one to get this disease because I can handle it, not I alone. Uh, many, many, many other women can too. But it was certainly no longer a a, know, why did the lightning bolt strike me and no one else?
I mean, that was just a, you know, out the window.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: At what point did you decide I’m gonna [00:10:00] make this cancer journey purposeful and do what I can to take the lessons I’m learning to benefit other people?
Clea Shearer: That same moment, I had that same moment of clarity
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: I.
Clea Shearer: well, wait a minute. not me? I can do this. And not only am I gonna do it, I’m gonna help other people and do it. I’m going to every minute of my experience. I am going to, I’m going to make my cancer purposeful if I have it. and I believe that I can do something with it.
I have a platform. I have, again, I have all these things lined up for me that put me in a unique position in a, in a, in a position of, um, being empowered. I know that I can share my experience and help other people maybe feel less alone, less scared, um, give them the information [00:11:00] that I was craving and that I tried to gather by talking to a bunch of people and, and connecting with as many people as possible. I can in my own small section of the universe can hopefully share everything that I’m going to, uh, going through. Um. And in hopes that it can help one person or encourage someone to get tested and screened themselves, um, to make people maybe feel empowered by, with their own journey through if they get diagnosed or help other people who have loved ones and family members who are going through cancer feel. Feel they can help and step up and, um, you know, be those people, um, for people in need. So I, I just, it really started to become this in my mind, this domino effect of, or butterfly effect, I guess in some ways of hoping that through my [00:12:00] little version of my life and, you know, my journey, um, it could. to tip in someone’s favor and, and hopefully make them again, feel seen and heard. And, and not everyone has friend who has had cancer or, um, you know, gone through a diagnosis or anything like that to share information with. So I thought maybe I can be those, that friend for people. I mean that’s, that’s what really inspired me to write the book in the first place.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: You know, if, if it’s okay, I wanna put this under a magnifying glass for a moment because I, I’m so impressed by your inner resourcefulness to want to go through what I would call an underworld journey, and in the process. Even in that process, be throwing lifelines to other people. I know for myself sometimes when I’m buried.
I’m not thinking about other people. I’m just buried and I don’t, [00:13:00] I don’t have that kind of empowered perspective of, oh, I’m going to, you know, go through this with the strength I have and be a resource for others. And I realize that you weren’t, you know, I’m like this a hundred percent all the time. I mean, cancer is complicated.
You’re very clear about that. But I still want to understand this. Capacity that you have that so impresses me to be there for others.
Clea Shearer: You know, I, I think that part of it comes from, it is literally who I am at my core. Um, if you, I don’t know, um, if everyone knows that much about the Enneagram, but I am a, a three, which is the overachiever, but I have a wing of a two, which is the helper and my overachiever. is like, I will do anything to, I will beat this.
I will, you know, move past this. I’m going to crush it every single day. Um, and I do that with all things in my life. I am very goal oriented. I am [00:14:00] very focused. I’m very driven. But there’s the, the side of me, um, that really holds my overachiever status up in the air is my. My deep desire to help people with, with that.
And I think that that’s actually what the reason why I have a successful business in terms of, um, home organization in general, is ultimately I really just, I, I like working with people. I like helping people through their own traumas and through, um, roadblocks and their life and things that, that really hold them back.
And a lot of what. Home organization does at the end of the day, is really to center people and to make them feel confident and secure in their surroundings. Um, and, uh, so that I’ve, I’ve always been a helper and, um. With this, this was a, a journey that I never knew I was gonna be on, and it was a new opportunity to be able to help people in a way that [00:15:00] I didn’t expect ever.
You know, it’s like I had my own ideas and notions of how I would help people in my life. Um, and I do that through a variety of different ways, but I didn’t know that this. Would be an opportunity for me and that, and that’s exactly how I saw it. Honestly. The, the second I realized that I had the power to connect with other people, thought, you know, it’s, it’s horrible to have this disease.
No one wants cancer, but if I’m gonna have it, gonna make it count, you know, and I’m, I’m going to, it. It gave me honestly, a sense of purpose. Um, it gave, and again, I was like, my cancer will be purposeful. And it gave me, um. Something to hold onto that was outside of just me, myself and I, you know, that was outside of just the way I was feeling. Um, if I was sick, if I had another complication or surgery, sharing it with someone that, that. [00:16:00] Cleared the way for at least me to understand, like, I wouldn’t say a silver lining there. It just, you can’t really call them silver linings when you have cancer. But if it, it gave me something, um, that I felt like, okay, I’m going through this for a reason.
I’m going through this so that. Someone else out there is like, oh my God, wait, that’s what I went through. Or, I am experiencing something similar. Okay. I’m not alone in all this. Um, and so every, and I’ve had a lot of setbacks, you know, since my diagnosis and through surgeries and so forth. Um, I’ve had a lot of setbacks from the beginning and I at least was able to be like, I am experiencing this so that I can share it with other people so that they have insight into what. might be going through what their friend might be going through, um, so that they can, they can see someone else going through it too. And I think that that’s really helpful. You know, one of the reasons why I wrote this book, one of the reasons why I [00:17:00] started sharing on social is because I didn’t feel like I had anyone doing that for me. You know, I didn’t have a book that I felt like really to me. I didn’t really feel like I had that many people. were kind of experiencing a similar journey to me that was out there sharing all the information publicly, and I just felt like I needed to be that person for, for other people. So it, it just never really was a question of, I, it was just, I was always going to share everything. That’s just who I am at my core.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: One of the things you share early in the book, and this is in the form of a big billboard, public service announcement, has to do with early detection and how you didn’t pay attention when you had the first inkling, and it was only. Was it two years later or a certain amount of time later?
Clea Shearer: it was [00:18:00] of 2021 is when I first. Kind of clocked something in my breast. Um, wasn’t really willing to go down the road of thinking too hard about it. Just I was like, huh, hmm, maybe that, okay, well moving on. You know? And then, um, I re I felt it in earnest, like without. Hesitation, knowing for sure that it was a lump. Um, again, you don’t know if it’s cancerous until you get seen by your doctor. Only your doctor can, and, and biopsies can show that, but I knew it was a lump of some sort. Like I clocked it in February of 2022. So, um, you know, I, I had a decent amount of time go by and. Uh, one thing that I know about my specific cancer from my biopsy and from the pathology that came back from it is that it’s aggressive and fast moving. So if I had actually taken it seriously when I first really [00:19:00] noticed something, um, I could have avoided. A stage two diagnosis, I could have avoided needing chemotherapy. I, I could maybe, I mean, I don’t know. I’ll never know. Um, but there’s a, a good likelihood that, um, that my tumors would’ve been smaller, you know, that maybe they would’ve been, um, just strictly localized in my right breast and hadn’t gone into my lymph nodes.
You know, all those things are possible and I think it’s, it’s really important. For everyone to understand that through early detection, if you detect your breast cancer early enough that you have a five year survival rate of almost a hundred percent. It’s 99%. For a five year survival rate. If survival rate, if you can’t, if you catch your cancer early enough, early detection will save your life.
And not only will it save your life, it might save you from all sorts of surgeries and [00:20:00] treatments and, and everything else too. You know, I mean, it’s, it’s so critical. And you know, I have pages in the book that describe how to do self exams. Um, I found my tumor myself, not only the first time, but the second time. Um, so again, it’s, it’s really critical, um, that we literally take our own health, uh, into our own hands.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Now I, I wanna go into this a little because I find you a very highly functioning. Person, a person who functions at a very high level. And I’m curious, how did you not find yourself in a morass of self blame? How did you come to a place where you can just talk about this with an an attitude that seems self forgiving, at least from the outside.
Clea Shearer: Oh, I, I mean, you have to, you just, I, I, I do not believe in, I don’t really like feelings of regret. I think if even stupid decisions, stupid choices are life [00:21:00] lessons. Um, so I don’t, I’m not really someone who. Who lives with regret. There’s just like, I, I kind of feel like it’s a pointless emotion. Um, I am a very solution oriented person and like, even even those, that first bit of time, um, when I got diagnosed and I was really wallowing, um, which again is totally fair and everyone should, um, give themselves the, the grace to be able to do that. I. I didn’t like that feeling either. Like living with regret, living in pity is not a comfortable place for me. So in my mind, I am forward thinking, solution oriented, moving towards a goal, um, putting something in my sights. And I, you know, I, I believe I will, I will crush it. And that, that is where I go.
I don’t, I don’t go to the woulda, coulda, shoulda, except to. people [00:22:00] I didn’t do and that can, I want that to be a lesson for them, you know?
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: You are a very empowering person. Clia. Now, here we go. At the beginning of the book you write, if you’re the type of person who likes having control over a situation, cancer is not for you. So how did you deal with the fact that here you are, the queen of let’s organize it. Let’s crush it. Let’s check off all the boxes, let’s get all that done.
And you’re dealing with a situation that is outside your control in many ways.
Clea Shearer: Um, well, it sucked. Let’s say that I, I definitely, um, you know, I’m used to making lists and planning and. I tried to do that. I did do that. I, I started list making, I started trying to organize all my thoughts and compartmentalize certain areas of my life. As soon as I got diagnosed, I started making lists of the people I was going to contact and which order.
[00:23:00] Um, you know, who needed to know first, who needed. An in-person phone call experience who I could text. You know, I, I started kind of trying to organize everything as best I could, and I knew I was having my double mastectomy on April 8th, so on April 7th I was going to announce it on social, um, in advance.
One day before my surgery, I knew when I was gonna tell my kids I had, I tried, I tried to organize everything and. First of all, I woke up, it all went out the door. Literally at the very first moment I had to, to deal with my cancer up close was my double mastectomy. I went in thinking I was stage one. I went in having a biopsy that showed the cancer was not in my lymph nodes, that maybe I wasn’t going to need chemo, um, that it was localized to my right breast. I woke up after a nine hour surgery that was supposed to take much less a nine hour surgery where. Uh, the cancer had gone into my lymph nodes. I was [00:24:00] stage two. was definitely going to need chemo and probably radiation. Um, I was not able to get an implant because of the radiation that was going to come, so I had expanders put in.
Instead, I would need to have expanders for. ended up being 18 months, which is a very long time to have expanders in because of the radiation I needed to heal from. So I woke up literally from the very first moment that I went in with my, I’m gonna crush it attitude. I wake, woke up with a different diagnosis than when I went in. I woke up needing treatment I wasn’t necessarily going to need. Um, I woke up with a different plan and while I was trying to process that. It was. Quickly, uh, coming clear that you just, you can’t plan for anything when, when you have cancer, it’s, it, you are not in control. Um, and then as if I needed, as if the lesson needed [00:25:00] to be learned that much more, seven days after my double mastectomy, um, I had to go in for emergency surgery for necrosis, which basically means, um, your skin is dying, your skin’s not getting the. Uh, what it, what it needs. And my skin literally turned black. Um,
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: right.
Clea Shearer: had to rush me in for emergency surgery on Easter Sunday to operate. Um, again, that was a complication that it happens, but it’s not. happen that often to people. Um, so it was kind of one of those like, really, this too, you know?
Woo. Um, and so within one week E everything that I had thought that I was trying to control went completely out the window and I just, it was an exercise in really letting go and. to go with the flow because that was just the first week. Everything changed pretty much every week as I went on.
Whether [00:26:00] it was side effects that were being added, whether it was blood tests showing irregularities that, um, delayed certain chemo infusions, whether it was, um, getting COVID during radiation. I mean, it just never ended. So. kind of have no choice. And it’s hard for someone like me, obviously, who, who thrives in a situation that they can attempt to control.
It’s, um, you get put in your place pretty quickly. So I, I learned, I learned very fast that this was something that I was just not going to be able to have control over. And as much as I tried.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: What would you say if you were to articulate that dance between. Going with what’s happening, surrendering and exerting your willpower and how you’ve learned to work with those different levers, if you will, in a situation or those different responses in a situation.
Clea Shearer: [00:27:00] I think that you’re right. It is all about levers. It’s not a. I have no control or I have complete control kind of situation. It’s, it’s adapting, it’s pivoting, it’s really keeping your head up and honestly, in some cases, even finding the humor in a situation because it’s just so unbelievable sometimes. Um, and, you know, I’ve had to just, um, release so much, um. Uh, I, I’ve honestly had to release so much anxiety over what’s to come in certain circumstances because I’ve just been taught time and time again that it, it changes all the time. And you, you, I, at this point, I’m about to have my 11th surgery, um, in August, uh, in just a few weeks and. have anxiety about it because it’s a, it’s a, a big surgery, but I’ve had to almost kind of release myself of [00:28:00] anxious feelings in general because they just do no good. Because you can’t anticipate even what you think you can anticipate. So it’s, it’s really, it’s, it’s an interesting exercise for a type A person.
But, um. You know, I just, I have to be able to pull those levers and, and pivot when I need to and, you know, expect the unexpected.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Now you’re having an 11th surgery. Is this related to breast reconstruction issues and things like that? Because you’re NED, if I understand correctly, no evidence of disease.
Clea Shearer: That is true. Um, I have had a series of complications following my reconstruction. Um, I end the book with my reconstruction surgery, and now I could write a second book because I’ve had so many
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Uh.
Clea Shearer: and surgeries. Following, um, my reconstruction most recently in April, I actually lost my right breast for the second time. Um, and now I basically have a single mastectomy. [00:29:00] I had had reconstruction, but my right breast. Finally had to be removed because of all the complications that I had with it. Um, mostly because of my radiated skin. Radiation just really damages the body. Um, and so now I am about to have something called a latissimus flap surgery where they essentially take muscle. Um, tissue fat, everything from your back and rebuild, um, your chest out of it. So, um, that is what we are going to attempt to do. It has, I think most people who get it done are really pleased with the results, but it is a really big surgery. Like you have drains on your front and your back. Um, so I’m, I’m nervous about the recovery with it, but I’m looking forward to hopefully. past, um, this phase of reconstruction and just trying to get my body back on track.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Well, I just wanna say I’m sorry [00:30:00] that you’ve had to have these continual reconstructive surgeries. I’m wondering what it’s like for you as a very public person to be talking about breast reconstructions in public.
Clea Shearer: You know, it’s, it’s really interesting. It’s another thing that I’ve really challenged myself with. Um, I was, you know, talking about reconstruction to a certain extent, um, was, was felt normal in the last. Few months in a pledge to myself that I’ve always had about being like really honest and open with everyone. I, you know, I had to explain different surgeries, different complications where my skin tore and it was open to my implant. Or at one point my incision started leaking. Um, and then in this last instance in April where I lost my right breast, I was like, wow, I can’t believe after all these years now. I am now in a new position to be a voice for [00:31:00] someone who might be feeling like I feel, which is shameful, embarrassed. Um, I, I woke up from that surgery and I shared with everyone that I, now, I had to remove my right breast and I will need to be wear, I, I will need to wear a prosthetic and that is something that I. Never thought that I was going to have to share. I, I never anticipated that would happen. And in the weeks and months that have kind of followed, I’ve really tried to have a lot of visibility around the moments where I don’t wear a prosthetic, where I, I wanna give other women the courage to do something that’s kind of scary, which is. Walk around with a very clear amputation and um, and that’s what it is. You know, a lot of people who aren’t in this specific, um, who haven’t had this type of journey kind of [00:32:00] carelessly say things like, well, why not just be flat? And it’s like. It’s not that you’re flat, it’s not that you’re like just flat chested. Um, it’s a very different experience. You are, you have an amputation. And for me, and I wanted to share this with people so that they understand it, losing your, your breast, take everything out like the whole cavity. So you’re not flat, you’re actually concave, you’re indented and it’s just like skin and bone and, um. And even my own mother had been like, why go through this again? And I’m like, ’cause I, I deserve the right to feel, um, whole, I deserve the right to feel what other people feel, even if it’s just skin, you know, even if it’s just flesh. I have no flesh. Um, and, and I felt like it was an important thing to share.
I didn’t even anticipate having a, a new situation to share. But I know that there are plenty of women who are going through. Mastectomies and feel a lot of complications about. [00:33:00] How do they get implants? Do they get expanders? Do they wear prosthetics? Do they just wear? No, prosthetics do. And so I, you know, I share on, even on my vacation a couple of weeks ago, I shared the bathing suit that I got and the waterproof prosthetic that went into it.
I share when I just don’t feel like wearing a prosthetic or the moments where I feel like I can versus can’t. Um, and I’m just really open with everyone about it. It’s, it’s. more vulnerable than I thought I actually would ever get it. It’s, it’s uncomfortable for me to, to look at myself, but I, I want people to feel seen and I want people to feel like not alone.
And that if I, if I can walk outside and in a shirt half the time without wearing, you know, a prosthesis that they can too.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: You are giving people a tremendous gift of normalizing, if you will, their [00:34:00] experience if they find themselves. Yeah, you are a very generous person. Clia, I keep being moved, uh, by you and your story. Which brings me to this question. If you were to look back at who you were before your cancer diagnosis and now how you are inside of yourself, what would you say are the big differences?
Clea Shearer: A hundred percent. I have a different perspective on everything. I do say share. I look back at before my cancer diagnosis and I felt like I. Was still putting good things into the world, and I wanted to share things like female entrepreneurism and, um, and you know, I, I, I wanted to be like, I’m a proud working mom and I take issue with when people call me a working [00:35:00] mom because no one says working dad.
Like I, I was full of. Like gusto with, with all of that and really wanting to be, um, an inspiring person for little girls who wanted to grow up and own their own businesses and work really hard and be really successful. And, and I was always forward moving and I still am. I never stopped any of those things, but I, I really felt like. Pushing forward for not just success in like a way that is, uh, like monetary or anything like that, but I, I, I, I just had so much energy for everything that we were producing and, and, and putting out into the world. And all of a sudden, once you get diagnosed with cancer. You realize that not a single, I mean it’s cliche, but literally not a single thing matters.
If you don’t have your health, you’re not doing any of those things. You know, you, you don’t have the ability to, to be the best x, y, Z person [00:36:00] because you’re sick. And that completely changed everything that I thought about. Myself about, um, what I wanted every day to look like. I still care deeply about, you know, I am a three, I’m an overachiever.
I, I care deeply about goals and crushing it and, and working really hard. I don’t, I don’t like taking time off. I don’t, I don’t like laying back and, and I, it was hard for me to even rest when I was in treatment. I’m just not that type of person. But it changed my perspective of what I wanna share with the world and. Success was just not, work. I shouldn’t say success. Like, like that. Hard work, wasn’t it anymore? It was, it was, uh, a sense of and, um, looking out for one another and like lifting people up in ways. [00:37:00] Like they need, you know, not just because it’s a nice thing to do, and like, yay, you know, female power and all that.
It felt more like, um, so many people feel invisible, you know? And it, it gave, it made me feel like visibility and, and, um, like being hand in hand with people felt so much more important to me. And it also changed my entire life in the sense that. I thought, you know, I’ve always, not always in the last like decade or so, I have, I have these big platforms and, and things that we’re able to do with it, and it always felt great and fun and exciting and now all of a sudden I felt like it had like deep purpose and importance and um, gave me a whole new thing that I could do with my life.
You know, I mean, not that many people get an entire new. Reason to live, you know, and like, reason for everything. And it, it just, it really, it changed me. I mean, I, I can’t believe I, I’m saying this, but it’s true. I [00:38:00] mean, it changed me for the better.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: This notion of NED, no evidence of disease. Do you find that there’s a part of you that. Is always bracing for what might happen and how do you work with that?
Clea Shearer: Every year. Um, I, so I, I was NED in 2022 after radiation. Um, I took a test, a very highly scientific test that just kind of is starting to, um, be rolled out in. Certain hospitals. Um, Vanderbilt is a research hospital, so they, um, had the opportunity to offer it to certain patients. It’s called the Tempus test, and it basically takes a piece of your tumor, which I did not know that.
Radiology, uh, departments save tumors for like 10 years. So like every tumor that they extract or like file folded somewhere. Um, and I call it file folded. [00:39:00] I mean, put into a file. That’s how I fold things. And, um. They, they crush up the tumor. Um, take a blood sample and basically spin it with your DNA to determine if cancer cells are present in your body. And it’s a six week waiting period. And my doctor was like, do you want to do this test? You have to really think about it because if it comes back that there’s evidence of cancer cells. You, your treatment won’t change. Like I’m already taking oral chemo and all of the, the, the, um, aromatase inhibitors and all, all the things, the medication that I’m on, the treatment that I’m on won’t change.
If I find it out, it will mean the, the first step is you have to, um, get an MRI to see if it’s metastatic, um, if it’s moved on to anywhere else in your body. If not. Cancer cells don’t mean you have tumors, you can keep an eye on it, but it doesn’t even show where the cells are. Like it’s, you don’t get. [00:40:00] If, if, if it shows that there are cells that, unfortunately it just shows that there are cells. It does not mean that if you’re doing all the things you’re supposed to be doing, it doesn’t mean your treatment change if it shows that you don’t have any cancer cells. That’s just a tremendous cause for celebration and shows that chemo worked. And at first I was like, do I wanna know like what if there are cancer cells? I’m just opening Pandora’s box for myself, and if nothing will change, do I want to know? And then I realized I’m someone who preaches nonstop. Um, to know as much as you can about your body and information is power and you need to. You need to do everything you can do to prevent, um, disease or disease recurrence. Uh, so I decided to go ahead and get the test and it did come back, um, that I was negative for cancer cells, which is amazing. Now it’s a year later and I have to take the test again, so I’m nervous again. And the thing is, a breast cancer diagnosis stays with you your entire life.
Um, the diagnosis doesn’t leave you so. [00:41:00] It is, it’s always scary. And I live in the shadow of, um, cancer coming back all the time. I’m on medication. I’m doing everything I can to prevent it. Um, I have had, you know, I had an ectomy to take out my fallopian tubes and, and ovaries, um, to. Make sure I’m producing no hormones.
My cancer is hormone positive, so, um, I cannot produce hormones and, you know, it’s just, I, I do everything I can every single day to keep cancer from coming back. And is it scary every single day? Yes.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Information is power. I wonder if you can talk directly to that person. Who knows They need some kind of test
Clea Shearer: Mm-hmm.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: it. It might be, you know, who knows? There’s so many different kinds of medical tests that are recommended for us at different ages, but they’re in the procrastination mode.
Clea Shearer: You can’t be, I, I say to people all [00:42:00] the time, and specifically about cancer, not knowing you have cancer is not the same thing as not having cancer. Not knowing does, you know good not knowing you could be putting off lifesaving treatment. As we speak, there is absolute look. Do I have test anxiety? Yes. Do I have scan anxiety?
Yes. Every single time I get a blood test or an MRI or a CAT scan or anything, an ultrasound, I am nervous every single time, but if something shows up, I caught it. I can do something about it hopefully. Um. Not knowing that, to me, that’s the scariest part of all. And procrastinating does favors does you?
No good. And, um, you know, I, I think it’s normal for us to kind of be like, well, the months away, I’ll just kick the can down the road. That [00:43:00] might be fine for certain things. You know, I mean, I, I say in, in my book, you know, I, we all have that notion of when the dentist says, you know, well, it’s gonna be a couple of months for an appointment, and you’re like, great, I’ll, you know, see you in a couple months.
Don’t have to think about it right now. But for a mammogram, when I felt my lump, that that was. Not gonna work for me. You know, you, you need to, if, if you feel an inkling of something, you do not put it off for a day. You have to pick up the phone, call your doctors. If you have a routine mammogram or a colonoscopy or you know, all, any of those kind of things, get it done.
It’ll say it could save your life.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Cancer is complicated. The subtitle and other unexpected lessons I’ve learned. Are there any other unexpected lessons you haven’t yet shared in this conversation that you want to make sure you get across?
Clea Shearer: I’ll say one thing, and I can only share this of my own experience. I’m not promising [00:44:00] anyone anything, obviously. Um, but for me, the most unexpected lesson I learned was that throughout my journey I was gonna have way more good days than bad days. I was not you know, I, I was not just throwing up all the time.
In fact, I didn’t throw up at all. I, I was not. A pit of despair every day. Um, I had friends and family around. I went out to eat, I went shopping. I did normal things. You know, I, I was able to live my life and I had some really bad days. I had some really sick days. Um, but. I had good days, and it is not, you know, first of all, cancer is very often not a death sentence, but it’s also not even a, a stopping life sentence.
It, it doesn’t have to be. And, um, I, [00:45:00] my mom moved in with us, um, for nine months and didn’t think I would ever be roommates with my mom again. And we had the best time ever and grew closer probably than we ever have in my entire life. And I’ve always been very close with my mom. spent more time with my kids and my husband than I had in years because I always travel for work. Um, you know, there, there are plenty of. really special moments that come, um, also with, with a potential diagnosis and, and, you know, living through this kind of disease. So there were plenty of, of lessons that I learned, both good and bad, but there were some good ones. And I, I really wanna impress that upon people because that’s, it’s important for them to know that it’s not like, you know, the day you get diagnosed means your life is over.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: And what would you say to someone who knows somebody who’s recently been diagnosed? What are the best ways they could be [00:46:00] supportive? Do’s and don’ts, if you will.
Clea Shearer: I think that it’s really important to ask to, to ask what? can do to ask what kind of help someone might need. It’s really hard, I think, as a patient. Um, I know for myself, I’m not very good at asking for help and having my friends, having my family, um, really try and step up and maybe. what I need, but also maybe, um, offer certain things that would be really helpful.
Like, um, dinners being delivered. You know, a meal train is, is really helpful, particularly if someone has kids, um, young kids in terms of like not trying to figure out where dinner’s coming from. You know, taking that kind of load off, finding out their chemo schedule, for instance. Um, if you get chemo on Thursdays, you’ll probably feel not. Fantastic on Friday, Saturday will be like your sickest day. Figure out that schedule, see what you can do to maybe, um, [00:47:00] offload something, um, you know, on that kind of weekend, on that sick day. Um, ask if they just want company, like sit and watch a movie or bad tv or, um, you know, just try and be present and a presence for them.
I think the most important thing though is that, um. Not to fall off like two weeks after diagnosis. I think that it’s really hard. Cancer is a, is a long haul and um, I know I myself, even though I was surrounded by so many people who love me, people get cancer fatigue and. You don’t, you don’t have that luxury because you’re the patient and I think that making sure you’re still checking in weeks later, making sure.
Also, you know, a lot of people have respect for chemo. No. Like, no one seems to have respect for radiation because it is, uh, it’s not known as like. The worst thing. And so when someone is going [00:48:00] through radiation, make sure they still feel seen and cared for. Um, and, and remembered, you know, I mean, I think that’s, that’s a big thing is that people with cancer don’t have the luxury of like forgetting they have cancer.
And I think that sometimes your friends, it’s like they move on. You know, it’s like the, the initial is gone and then they move on. And I think it’s really important to, to keep connected and try and stay consistent.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: One word, clia that. I didn’t find in your book, and I’m curious about your relationship with it, is Faith, was there some sense that you had to have faith that your faith was tested or how do you, how do you look at that?
Clea Shearer: Well, I’ll say this, I’m not a deeply religious person. Um, I am someone who definitely feels like, um. a higher power over me. Of course. By by. I’m Jewish technically. Um, I mean, literally [00:49:00] not technically. I am Jewish. I, but I am not. Um. Someone who spent a lot of time in temples or, or, uh, anything like that.
And, but I, I believe that things that the universe works the way it should and that, um, tests and challenges are, um. Are part of our experience and, um, and, you know, we’re, we’re given challenges that we’re able to face. I and I believe that this challenge was given to me because I, I am able to take it on.
I am able to face it and, and, and do something important with it. Um, so. I would say that, and it’s funny because even people who are not particularly, particularly religious, once you get diagnosed, you do start praying quite a bit. You know, you do, you do definitely start to, uh, to, to ask a few favors, um, upstairs. So, uh, no faith, [00:50:00] faith was not, I guess, a word that I used in this, um, in my book. Um, but I always. I definitely had faith that I wasn’t going to die. You know, I, I had faith that I was going to make it to the other side and, um, um, and I just felt deeply. I do, I just, I believe in, you know, kind of a higher power and the way, um, things kind of unfold the way they should in life.
And, um, it doesn’t seem to always make sense at the time. You’re like, well, wait a minute. How could something bad be? What should unfold in life? But, um, I think it’s, it’s about the, the journey, you know, not the moment. So, um, but yes, that, that’s how I would answer that.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Did it come up as a question for you? Like, no, this should not be happening. Like, no, actually all these other things, yes, but not this, no, this should not be happening. Or did, is not that, not how you related to it.
Clea Shearer: I think that in the beginning when I was still in the why me phase, it was like, whoa, whoa, [00:51:00] whoa, whoa. This is not in my plan. Like this is no, no, no. My life’s great. Like I, I’ve made it, I’ve worked so hard. How could this, and it’s just you, you realize quickly how dumb that sounds. You know? It’s like, so what?
So you worked really hard and you, you, you, things are going well. It doesn’t mean that they can’t come crashing down around you. I do think that it’s important to say though, I. Also had this feeling of like, this is happening because my life was too good. That somehow we don’t deserve that level of, of, you know, um, everything kind of working well.
That somehow that means that something bad has to happen. And I really had to. Like talk myself out of that belief. It felt like superstitious and like the way that it’s like, well, good things can’t last forever. And it’s like, no, you got cancer. That doesn’t mean that good things can’t last forever. That good things can’t still happen.
This is not a punishment, you know.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: Towards the end of the book you write, [00:52:00] I’ve become more comfortable with the lack of control that comes with cancer. I feel more stable with instability. I can adapt more than I thought I could. I can handle more than I thought I could. I am more prepared to dwell in the unknown. And here as we end, I wanted to ask you about that dwelling in the unknown and how you call on your own inner resourcefulness.
Dwelling in the unknown.
Clea Shearer: Well, I mean, and it’s funny ’cause I wrote that before all of these, uh, before the second book could be written, which is the slew of, um, surgeries and uncertainties and, and pivots and I mean, it’s been a real. Challenge, you know, it’s like I will go to the doctor for a routine checkup and they see, you know, literally saw something, uh, a tear in my skin on a Friday and was like, you have to have [00:53:00] surgery on a Monday.
You know, these, these things have been happening quite a lot. To me, it’s, it almost feels like I can’t catch a break. Um, but I just don’t let myself think like that anymore, which is, this is just part of a journey that a lot of people. Do face and I have the opportunity to do it publicly, um, and to help people with my journey. Um, and, uh, you know, I just, in the unknown is something that has never been comfortable for me. I don’t even like. a toe in the unknown. Um, I like the known, but, um, it’s, it’s really forced me to understand that somehow that’s just the way life works. And sometimes you experience that in small ways.
And for me, I’m experiencing it in big ways and, um. And whether or not I’m okay with that doesn’t really factor into it. You, you know, you have to rise to the challenge and you have to, um, the, whatever the universe throws at you, you know, you, you have to be willing [00:54:00] to, to take it so. Like I said, it’s, it’s definitely been a learning experience for me, a growing experience, and it’s clearly not over. It just keeps going. And that’s, that’s, you know, something that I have to be okay with too. I didn’t expect these things, um, just like I didn’t expect a diagnosis to begin with and I certainly didn’t expect to be dealing with so much now. Um. But here I am and here I’ll stay. And that’s just, um, know, again, there, with like this new horrible, you know, situation of losing my right breast, it gave me actually a new opportunity to share and be vulnerable in a way that I didn’t ever see that coming.
So, um, you know, just rolling with it and, and every moment, um, in the most purposeful way possible.
squadcaster-1i77_1_07-21-2025_140803: CLIA sheer author of the new book, cancer is Complicated and other unexpected [00:55:00] lessons I’ve learned. You’ve mentioned some of those unexpected lessons included having good days and humorous moments, and one of the. Interesting complexities of reading your new book. Is there? I was. And I was like, wow, this is so heavy and I’m laughing out loud at the same time.
How could, how could both these things be happening while I’m here on the couch? But they were, it was, uh, really tremendous for you to bring forward your experience and now meeting you. I feel your deep generosity and I just, I bow at that. So thank you so much.
Clea Shearer: thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
