Rated 5.0 out of 5
Based on 9 reviews

Embracing Shame

How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
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Shame is a universal emotion—and though we often think we’d be better off without it, shame serves an important purpose. Here two expert teachers explore the healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem in an invaluable guide for laypersons and therapists alike.
Full Description

Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.

Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”

With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:

  • The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
  • How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
  • The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
  • Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more

While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.

Format Details
Paperback Book eBook
Contents Paperback Book (224 pages) eBook (224 pages)
Dimensions 6 x 9 inches
Product Code BK06610 BK06610W
ISBN Number 978-1-64963-046-9 978-1-64963-047-6
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Bret Lyon

About Bret Lyon

Bret Lyon, PhD, SEP has devoted almost two decades of his life to healing shame. Along with his wife and colleague, Sheila Rubin, he is a founder and codirector of the Center for Healing Shame, and cocreator of the Healing Shame–Lyon/Rubin Method. Through their popular workshops, they have taught thousands of psychotherapists, coaches, and other helping professionals across the world how to more effectively identify and work with shame. Bret holds doctorates in both psychology and drama and has taught at Tufts University, Pomona College, and the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, as well as writing and directing plays in regional theater and off-off Broadway. For more, visit healingshame.com.

Author photo © Lea Delson

Sheila Rubin

About Sheila Rubin

Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT, RDT/BCT, has been researching shame since she was five years old. Along with her husband and colleague, Bret Lyon, she is a founder and codirector of the Center for Healing Shame, and cocreator of the Healing Shame–Lyon/Rubin Method. Through their popular workshops, they have taught thousands of psychotherapists, coaches, and other helping professionals across the world to more effectively identify and work with shame. Sheila is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Registered Drama Therapist, and has taught at JFK University and CIIS, as well as being the eating disorder specialist at a hospital and directing Embodied Life Stories performances. For more, visit healingshame.com.

Author photo © Lea Delson

REVIEWS

average rating 5.0 out of 5
Based on 9 reviews
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9 Reviews
Reviewed by Lauren G.
Verified Reviewer
I recommend this product
Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

Practical, Profound, Powerful

I highly recommend for all humans curious about this experience we call shame.

A incredibly comprehensive, yet not overwhelming resource on what is shame, how does it behave as an emotion, how does it show up in our lives across the lifespan and how can we transform it. Basically, how can we let our shame be a guide, rather than painfully rule our lives!? I can attest to the power of Bret and Sheila's work in my personal journey of healing from toxic, pervasive shame and I feel that it can truly change the world one drip of healing at a time.

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Reviewed by Pavi S.
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Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

A beautiful piece of work

This book provides a compelling account of shame, the most neglected emotion, its adverse impact on mental health, as well as ways of overcoming shame to lead a fuller, happier life. Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin have devoted their careers to helping clients heal from shame and educating therapists and other healing practitioners to do the same. Having attended one of their workshops, I have direct experience of their wisdom, warmth, and skill as master therapists and teachers. They have distilled the essence of their life's work, with grace, clarity, and compassion into a readable and helpful book, that's both a theoretical overview and treatment manual. The practice exercises at the end of each chapter are alone worth the price of admission. The book will be of immense value to anyone dealing with the negative effects of shame in themselves or their clients.

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Reviewed by Prema M.
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Rated 5 out of 5
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Filled with Wisdom and Practical Steps for Real Change!

Bret and Sheila have crafted an extraordinary masterpiece. There is truly nothing like it available in the realm of understanding and addressing shame. Their comprehensive exploration of how shame manifests and their practical guidance on working with it sets this book apart. It offers a highly specific and actionable approach to reshaping the paradigm surrounding shame. This isn't just about understanding shame; it's about effecting real change.

My personal experience studying with them has been nothing short of life-altering, and it has significantly transformed my professional practice. Those of us who have eagerly awaited this book can attest that the wait has been more than worthwhile.

What's even more remarkable is that this book now grants the general public access to comprehending the profound impact of shame on our lives and how it can be both a limitation and a catalyst for transformation.

Bret and Sheila possess a gift for explaining difficult or complicated topics with ease and compassion. Their book illuminates and artfully dissects shame, the missing piece in most healing processes that most therapists and healers tend to avoid unless they've had the privilege of studying with Bret and Sheila.

Thank you for penning this book and making your invaluable insights accessible to everyone. Your contributions are reshaping the landscape of therapy and healing, and I am immensely thankful for your gifts.

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Reviewed by Stephanie
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Rated 5 out of 5
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worthwhile

This book is a user-friendly resource for exploring and embracing / healing shame .

- The stories are helpful for understanding the different ways that shame operates in ourselves (and in the lives of the people we love, work with and encounter).

- The exercises offer support in gaining personal insight.

I would recommend this individuals, coaches, clinicians, leaders.

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Reviewed by Aera K.
Verified Reviewer
I recommend this product
Rated 5 out of 5
Review posted

Shining a Light

When a dear friend of mine introduced me to Bret and Sheila and their vital work on healing shame, it was the most important piece of my own healing work that was missing. As a therapist, I have dedicated years towards my own healing work which I believe is vital in offering support to others. Shame was the missing piece, at the center of childhood trauma. Shame is like a big secret and the more I hid it from myself and from others, the bigger and more painful it grew. It is the thing that no one talks about but it’s everywhere, hidden in plain sight, like dark matter.

With tremendous courage, Bret and Shiela cast a light on this amorphous thing that we all hide in, and in this light, we can begin to see, to name, to give back, to counter, and to embrace the shame that resides in so many of us struggling. Their book also shines a beautiful light on our most important relationship we can ever develop, our relationship with our inner child and how to heal the shame that our inner children carry. A book that masterfully combines vital inner child work and shame work is truly a unique gem.

I am forever grateful for Bret and Sheila and for their sincere dedication to help people heal from shame. Thank you Sheila and Bret, for this beautiful book that you gifted us, a light which will continue to shine bright!

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