A cure through love

    —
May 10, 2013

It was Freud, in a letter to Carl Jung, who said: “psychoanalysis in essence is a cure through love.”

It hurts us so much when those around us are suffering, when those we care about are struggling. Maybe it’s one of our co-workers, an elderly person who is all alone, a client terrified in the face of a cancer diagnosis, one of our children whose self-esteem has been crushed, our partner who is so sad that our relationship is not flowing, or a close friend who is grieving the loss of her lover. What do we do? How can we help? What are the most effective ways to lessen their grief, their sadness, their anxiety, their shame, their fear? We hear that to truly love another is the most powerful form of healing – but what does this mean? When we’re with someone who is suffering, we can create with them a holding environment which allows their subjective experience to be exactly what it is. We can stay very close to their experience, allowing it to be metabolized in the space between us. They feel us right there with them, that warmth, that space in which all is welcome. They are able to be what they are, right then and right there, and know at the deepest level that they will be received, that they need not hold anything back, that there is a certain safety and ground in which all of the most precious pieces of their psyche, their heart, and their body can dance, can express, can unfold, and can become illuminated within the sacredness of the relational field.

In my experience, most of us, when confused or hurt or anxious or sad, want so deeply for our experience to be seen, to be met, to be touched, to be received into that relational field of space, kindness, presence, and warmth. We can be there for another in this way and really allow them to fall apart, to go crazy, to be confused all the way, to touch all of those thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations that have been kept at bay for so long. It sounds so simple, but in practice is in fact a revolution. When they know that we aren’t needing them to be different, when they know we will walk with them into terror, panic, depression, grief, anger, and fear, they soften, the space around us softens, and we are invited into the mystery, guided into the unknown together. We’re never sure what will be revealed there, but we are called nonetheless to move into this new territory together, with some crazy sense of faith that there is an intelligence here, a creativity that is pouring out of the beyond.

We long to somehow receive permission to be what we are, for another to understand how we are organizing our experience, for another to somehow be willing to enter into a burning love-field with us, without needing us to be different, to be “cured,” transformed, or even to heal. When we are truly met, when our subjectivity is deeply touched by another, with no agenda, a very organic process of healing is initiated – one that does not come from us or from our friend who is suffering, or even from what we want or think should happen – but seemingly from some mysterious Other. That Other is a raging field of intelligence and creativity, and has come to touch us, to hold us, and to show us something precious. When we allow ourselves to enter deeply into the subjective experience of another – and when they feel us with them inside of the cracks and crevices of each and every cell of their heart – love takes over, grace begins to whisper its secrets, and we turn toward home, together.

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Also By Author

Six Summer Reads You Won’t Want to Miss!

After the stillness of winter and the slow waking of spring, summer is a time for getting up, getting out, and getting our hands on what inspires us the most. Here are some recent Sounds True releases for tapping into a life well lived.

1. The Biophilia Effect – Clemens G. Arvay 

Summer Super Sale - The Biophilia Effect

This is a book that celebrates our interconnection with nature and shows how to deeply engage the natural world wherever you live to dramatically improve your health. Clemens G. Arvay presents fascinating research, practical tools and activities,

inspiring stories, and more in this accessible guide to the remarkable benefits of being in nature.

Get it here: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/the-biophilia-effect.html

 

 

 

 

2. The Healing Code of Nature – Clemens G. Arvay

The Healing Code of Nature - Clemens G. Arvay

Human beings are inseparable from the natural world, coevolving with all of life. In order to thrive, we need to nourish this bond. In his latest book, biologist Clemens G. Arvay illuminates the miraculous ways that the human body interprets the living “code” of plants, animals, and our larger natural habitat for healing and sustenance.

Get it here: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/the-healing-code-of-nature.html

 

 

 

 

 

3. Book of Beasties – Sarah Seidelman

Summer Super Sale - Book of Beasties

From an ancient perspective, everything—including all natural things, like rocks, flowers, trees, insects, birds, and mammals

—is alive and infused with conscious energy or spirit,” writes Sarah Seidelmann. If you’re one of the many people looking to reconnect with the creativity, wisdom, and vital energy of the natural world, here is a fantastic guide for tapping into the power of animal totems, or “beasties.”

Get it here: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/book-of-beasties.html

 

 

 

4. No Recipe – Edward Espe Brown

Summer Super Sale - No RecipeMaking your love manifest, transforming your spirit, good heart, and able hands into food is a great undertaking,” writes renowned chef and Zen priest Edward Espe Brown, “one that will nourish you in the doing, in the offering, and in the eating.” With No Recipe: Cooking as Spiritual Practice, Brown beautifully blends expert cooking advice with thoughtful reflections on meaning, joy, and life itself.

Get it here: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/no-recipe.html

 

 

 

 

5. Yoga Friends – Mariam Gates & Rolf Gates 

Summer Super Sale - Yoga FriendsFrom the creators of Good Night Yoga and Good Morning Yoga comes a beautifully illustrated city adventure that introduces children to the delights and benefits of partner yoga.

Perfect for teaming up with a friend, sibling, parent, or caregiver, each easy practice shows how cooperation helps us to imagine, move, and have fun in a whole new way.

Includes a back-page guide for parents and caregivers, showing how to do each pose and how to connect them into an easy-to-follow flow.

Get it here: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/yoga-friends.html

 

6. Happier Now – Nataly Kogan

Summer Super Sale - Happier Now

What if you could be happier, right now, without radically changing your life? As nationally recognized happiness expert Nataly Kogan teaches, happiness is not a nice feeling or a frivolous extra. It’s a critical, non-negotiable ingredient for living a fulfilling, meaningful, and healthy life—and it’s a skill that we can all learn and improve through practice. In Happier Now, Nataly shares an illuminating, inspiring, and science-based guide to help you build your happier skills and live with more joy, starting now.

Get it here: https://www.soundstrue.com/store/happier-now.html

 

 

 

 

 

Have other books you’ve read by the poolside or under a shade tree ended up changing the way you see the world? Tell us about those summer reads that ended up being more than you expected!

 

Singing Bowl Meditation Sounds True Spotify Playlist

Sounds True is on Spotify!

Need some tunes for rest and relaxation? Check out our Singing Bowl Meditation Playlist! A variety of artists who make a soothing mix of infinite rhythms using Tibetan singing bowls. Perfect throughout a meditative practice.

 

November New Releases and Giveaway

NOVEMBER NEW RELEASES

 

 

The Integrity Advantage by Kelly Kosow

Are you ready to open up to new levels of self-trust and self-love, to get where you want to go?

You vowed to speak up at work, and then sat silent in the meeting yet again.

You told yourself “this time the diet is going to stick,” only to watch the scale inching up.

You felt that something just wasn’t right about someone that—until you learned the hard way that your instincts were right.

“Every time you bite your tongue,” teaches Kelley Kosow, “you swallow your integrity.”

Before Kelley Kosow was a renowned life coach and CEO, she constantly second-guessed herself, let her “to-do” lists and others steer her dreams and passions, and played it “small and safe.”

Inspired by the groundbreaking principles of her renowned mentor Debbie Ford, who hand-picked Kelley to be her successor, The Integrity Advantage is Kelley’s step-by-step guide for facing the fear, shame, and false beliefs that cause us to lose our way.

Through life-changing insights, true stories, and proven strategies, this book will show you how to live on your own terms—according to you—from the inside out.

 

Daring to Rest by Karen Brody

As modern women, we’re taught that we can do it all, have it all, and be it all. While this freedom is beautiful, it’s also exhausting. Being a “worn-out woman” is now so common that we think feeling tired all the time is normal. According to Karen Brody, feeling this exhausted is not normal—and it’s holding us back. In Daring to Rest, Brody comes to the rescue with a 40-day program to help you reclaim rest and access your most powerful, authentic self through yoga nidra, a meditative practice that guides you into one of the deepest states of relaxation imaginable.

It’s time to lie down and begin the journey to waking up

 

 

 

 

Breathe and Be by Anna Emilia Laitinen and Kate Coombs

Teaching mindfulness helps kids learn to stay calm, regulate their emotions, and appreciate the world around them. With Breathe and Be, author Kate Coombs and illustrator Anna Emilia Laitinen team up to present a book of poetry and art for young readers to make mindfulness easy, natural, and beautiful. Here is a book sure to delight parents and kids alike, blending lovingly illustrated nature imagery with elegant verse about living with awareness and inner peace.

 

 

 

 

Leopard Warrior by John Lockley

A Teaching Memoir That Crosses the Barriers Between Worlds

A shaman is one who has learned to move between two worlds: our physical reality and the realm of spirits. For John Lockley, shamanic training also meant learning to cross the immense divide of race and culture in South Africa.

As a medic drafted into the South African military in 1990, John Lockley had a powerful dream. “Even though I am a white man of Irish and English descent, I knew in my bones that I had received my calling to become a sangoma, a traditional South African shaman,” John writes. “I felt blessed by the ancient spirit of Africa, and I knew that I had started on a journey filled with magic and danger.” His path took him from the hills of South Korea, where he trained as a student under Zen Master Su Bong, to the rural African landscape of the Eastern Cape and the world of the sangoma mystic healers, where he found his teacher in the medicine woman called MaMngwev

 

 

Things That Join the Sea and the Sky by Mark Nepo

A Reader for Navigating the Depths of Our Lives

The Universe holds us and tosses us about, only to hold us again. With Things That Join the Sea and the Sky, Mark Nepo brings us a compelling treasury of short prose reflections to turn to when struggling to keep our heads above water, and to breathe into all of our sorrows and joys.

Inspired by his own journal writing across 15 years, this book shares with us some of Mark’s most personal work. Many passages arise from accounts of his own life events—moments of “sinking and being lifted”—and the insights they yielded. Through these passages, we’re encouraged to navigate our own currents of sea and sky, and to discover something fundamental yet elusive: How, simply, to be here.

To be enjoyed in many ways—individually, by topic, or as an unfolding sequence—Things That Join the Sea and the Sky presents 145 contemplations gathered into 17 themes, each intended to illuminate specific situations.

 

 

                NOVEMBER GIVEAWAY

 

WIN OUR NEW RELEASE BUNDLE:The Integrity Advantage, Daring to Rest, Breathe and Be, Leopard Warrior, and Things That Join the Sea and the Sky

TO ENTER: Simply reply in the comments with why you’d like to win!

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What Is Brainspotting?

Brainspotting is designed to help people access and process unresolved trauma through focused attention on specific eye positions. The method rests on the idea that where a person looks can correspond to where difficult experiences are stored in the brain and body. Staying with a brainspot while remaining aware of physical sensations and emotions, people can work through material that language alone might not reach.

Since David Grand developed this approach, brainspotting therapy has been applied broadly, with athletes, artists, business leaders, and survivors of large-scale events, among others. Grand also offers an online course through Sounds True that walks through the core principles behind brainspotting therapy, available to those who want to learn directly from the source.

His insights align with the conversations we host on the Insights at the Edge Podcast, where therapists, teachers, and practitioners share what healing really looks like from the inside out.

David Grand and the Development of Brainspotting Therapy

Brainspotting therapy came out of a significant clinical observation. During trauma treatment, David Grand noticed that a client’s eye position seemed to shift when deeper emotional material surfaced. That moment became the foundation for a method built around the brain’s own capacity to process and release what it has long held in place.

Since its introduction, brainspotting therapy has been used by clinicians around the world to help people facing trauma, anxiety, grief, chronic stress, and performance-related challenges. Grand’s work continues to shape the field by drawing attention to the connection between the brain, the body, and emotional healing.

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Trauma Therapy Eye Position and the Brain-Body Connection

Trauma therapy eye position describes the relationship between where someone directs their gaze and what emotional or physical experiences become accessible as a result. During a session, a therapist guides the client to a specific visual point and invites them to notice what arises in the body as they hold that focus. Sensations, emotions, and memories can surface as the nervous system begins to process material it has held in place for years.

The body carries what the mind sometimes can’t articulate. A shift in eye position can open access to experiences held below conscious awareness, gently creating conditions for the nervous system to complete what was once interrupted. Healing, in this way, becomes a process the whole person takes part in, not just the thinking mind.

The teachers and practitioners gathered in our Health & Healing collection share this same orientation: that real healing often begins when we learn to listen to what the body already knows.

How the Brainspotting Technique Uses Eye Position to Access Trauma

The brainspotting technique begins with identifying an eye position linked to an emotional or physical response. From there, the therapist invites the client to rest their attention on that visual point while remaining aware of what arises in the body. The process creates space for the nervous system to do what it naturally knows how to do, without demanding that memories surface on command.

A concrete example might be this: someone working through anxiety tied to an experience might start by calling that experience to mind. As the therapist slowly moves a pointer across their field of vision, the client notices a position where a physical sensation intensifies, perhaps tightness in the chest or a change in breath. That’s the brainspot. The session then focuses there while the client tracks what unfolds internally, allowing the nervous system to process what it has previously stored.

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EMDR vs Brainspotting: Understanding the Key Differences

EMDR follows a standardized eight-phase protocol and uses bilateral stimulation, typically through guided eye movements, sounds, or tapping, to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories. Brainspotting focuses on identifying one significant eye position and following the client’s internal experience from there. Sessions tend to be more open-ended, allowing the individual’s nervous system to lead.

Neither method is universally better than the other. A qualified therapist can help determine which fits a person’s history, goals, and comfort level. Many clinicians receive training in both and draw on each as the situation calls for it.

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Final Thoughts

Brainspotting offers a distinctive perspective on trauma healing, one that trusts the body’s capacity to know where attention is needed. Working with eye position rather than narration alone, this approach creates conditions for healing to happen at the body’s own pace.

As David Grand has shown through decades of clinical work, healing is often less about forcing change and more about creating the conditions for it to unfold. That belief is at the heart of what we do at Sounds True. We share the work of practitioners and teachers who honor the full range of human experience, including the places where language falls short, and the body quietly holds the way forward.

Frequently Asked Questions About Brainspotting

Is brainspotting backed by research?

Brainspotting is supported by a growing body of clinical research and case studies. While research continues to evolve, many mental health professionals use it as part of trauma-informed care for emotional and psychological concerns.

Who can benefit from brainspotting?

Brainspotting may benefit adults and adolescents experiencing trauma, anxiety, grief, stress, or performance-related challenges. A qualified mental health professional can determine whether it is an appropriate approach for an individual’s needs.

Do I have to talk about my trauma during brainspotting?

Not necessarily. While some people choose to discuss their experiences, brainspotting can also focus on physical sensations and emotions, allowing processing without requiring detailed verbal storytelling.

Can brainspotting be combined with other therapies?

Yes. Many therapists integrate brainspotting with other evidence-based approaches, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness practices, or somatic therapies, to create a personalized treatment plan.

Is brainspotting only used for trauma?

No. Although it is widely recognized for trauma treatment, brainspotting is also used to support people dealing with anxiety, creative blocks, chronic stress, and performance enhancement in sports, music, and public speaking.

What should I expect after a brainspotting session?

Some people feel calm or relieved after a session, while others may continue processing emotions or physical sensations for a short time. Therapists often recommend rest, hydration, and self-reflection between sessions.

Is brainspotting suitable for everyone?

Brainspotting may not be the best fit for every individual or situation. A licensed therapist can evaluate your mental health history and recommend the most appropriate treatment approach.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

5 comments on A cure through love

  1. Tiba says:

    This is so beautiful. I have been struggling to find a way to help my son deal with some difficulties in his life and I couldn’t find a way. This is going to help me.

    Thank you.

    1. Matt Licata says:

      Thank you, Tiba, for sharing with us here. We wish you and your son the very best on your journey together. Sending lots of love…

  2. Ginger says:

    Thank you Matt, heart and soul. Your post filled my heart with love.it helped me realize,that’s when I am doing it right. It really is all about love. Keep up the beautiful work,you are making a difference in our reality!

    1. Matt Licata says:

      You’re welcome, Ginger – and thank you for being willing to take the risk that love always demands; let us walk together into that fire. Take care, my friend.

  3. Julie says:

    To me, this is one of the most beautiful descriptions of the Holy Spirit that I have found….

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