4 Ways to Value and Build More Joy Into This Holiday Season

    —
December 16, 2019

The holiday season sometimes feel like brief moments of joy thrown together with an awful lot of unsettled intensity. Attending to those easier times doesn’t mean we should ignore the unpleasant, but we can aim to not get so caught up in it. It is often expectations, anxieties, and perfectionism that amp up our holiday experience. Focusing on what we value and giving those times our most direct attention, we end up with a happier and more restorative holiday season.

 

Give happier moments your full attention, as you would a meditation

Whenever you catch yourself distracted from a moment of ease, come back. That could be through spending a few minutes alone, or with a favorite person or pet. It could mean taking in a party while the room feels full of connection and excitement. Or savoring a favorite food. Notice when you’re distracted by future planning, problem solving, or past conflicts, and in an unforced way, immerse yourself in a joyful moment.

Let go of expectations and comparison

Don’t ‘should’ on your holidays by thinking they should be better or resemble that family’s holidays or resemble holidays from ten years ago. These holidays will never, by definition, be the same as any other. If something truly has you down, even that gets complicated by ‘should’—like thinking you should be joyful when you’re not. Ever find yourself doing something because you should, instead of wanting or needing to? Whenever you notice ‘should-ing,’ see if you can note the thoughts and come back to whatever you feel best.

Let go of perfection

Check in with what you value and want to give to others. Ease, connection, what most comes to mind? Let go of stories about what must unfold in some precise way to meet your holiday standard. Wishes are one thing (I hope we’re all happy and healthy), perfection is unlikely (everyone better get along this year for once).

Sustain yourself

Let go, when you choose (and without hassling yourself), of how you typically live while keeping up with whatever keeps you strong. How little sleep and exercise are okay before you implode emotionally? How much indulging before you feel miserable the next day and maybe one after that? How much stress relates to getting physically run down? And then, always remember that practicing gratitude and giving to others may be one of the most valuable, sustaining choices we have. Happy holidays!

 

Mark Bertin is a pediatrician, author, professor, and mindfulness teacher specializing in neurodevelopmental behavioral pediatrics. He is the author of How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids, a regular contributor to Mindful.org, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. Dr. Bertin resides in Pleasantville, New York. For more, visit developmentaldoctor.com.

 

The community here at Sounds True wishes you a lovely holiday season! We are happy to collaborate with some of our Sounds True authors to offer you wisdom and practices as we move into this time together; please enjoy this blog series for your holiday season. 

To help encourage you and your loved ones to explore new possibilities this holiday season, we’re offering 40% off nearly all of our programs, books, and courses sitewide. May you find the wisdom to light your way. 

EXPLORE NOW

 

 

Mark Bertin

Mark Bertin, MD, is a developmental pediatrician and author. His previous books, Mindful Parenting for ADHD and The Family ADHD Solution, integrate mindfulness with other evidence-based ADHD care. He is also a contributing author for the book Teaching Mindfulness Skills to Kids and Teens. Dr. Bertin is a faculty member at New York Medical College and the Windward Teacher Training Institute, and is on the advisory boards for the nonprofit organizations Common Sense Media and Reach Out and Read. His blog is available through HuffPost, Mindful magazine, Mindful.org, and Psychology Today. For more information, please visit his website at developmentaldoctor.com.

Author photo © Stephanie Diani

Also By Author

4 Ways to Value and Build More Joy Into This Holiday S...

The holiday season sometimes feel like brief moments of joy thrown together with an awful lot of unsettled intensity. Attending to those easier times doesn’t mean we should ignore the unpleasant, but we can aim to not get so caught up in it. It is often expectations, anxieties, and perfectionism that amp up our holiday experience. Focusing on what we value and giving those times our most direct attention, we end up with a happier and more restorative holiday season.

 

Give happier moments your full attention, as you would a meditation

Whenever you catch yourself distracted from a moment of ease, come back. That could be through spending a few minutes alone, or with a favorite person or pet. It could mean taking in a party while the room feels full of connection and excitement. Or savoring a favorite food. Notice when you’re distracted by future planning, problem solving, or past conflicts, and in an unforced way, immerse yourself in a joyful moment.

Let go of expectations and comparison

Don’t ‘should’ on your holidays by thinking they should be better or resemble that family’s holidays or resemble holidays from ten years ago. These holidays will never, by definition, be the same as any other. If something truly has you down, even that gets complicated by ‘should’—like thinking you should be joyful when you’re not. Ever find yourself doing something because you should, instead of wanting or needing to? Whenever you notice ‘should-ing,’ see if you can note the thoughts and come back to whatever you feel best.

Let go of perfection

Check in with what you value and want to give to others. Ease, connection, what most comes to mind? Let go of stories about what must unfold in some precise way to meet your holiday standard. Wishes are one thing (I hope we’re all happy and healthy), perfection is unlikely (everyone better get along this year for once).

Sustain yourself

Let go, when you choose (and without hassling yourself), of how you typically live while keeping up with whatever keeps you strong. How little sleep and exercise are okay before you implode emotionally? How much indulging before you feel miserable the next day and maybe one after that? How much stress relates to getting physically run down? And then, always remember that practicing gratitude and giving to others may be one of the most valuable, sustaining choices we have. Happy holidays!

 

Mark Bertin is a pediatrician, author, professor, and mindfulness teacher specializing in neurodevelopmental behavioral pediatrics. He is the author of How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids, a regular contributor to Mindful.org, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. Dr. Bertin resides in Pleasantville, New York. For more, visit developmentaldoctor.com.

 

The community here at Sounds True wishes you a lovely holiday season! We are happy to collaborate with some of our Sounds True authors to offer you wisdom and practices as we move into this time together; please enjoy this blog series for your holiday season. 

To help encourage you and your loved ones to explore new possibilities this holiday season, we’re offering 40% off nearly all of our programs, books, and courses sitewide. May you find the wisdom to light your way. 

EXPLORE NOW

 

 

Mindful Kids in Context

 

Mindful eating, mindful burgers, mindful sex . . . pretty much everything is mindful lately. Paying attention has value, but what’s the goal of all that mindfulness?

Defining mindfulness exactly is like trying to define psychology or exercise in one line; you can do it, but it never quite captures everything. To summarize, mindfulness means aiming to be more aware of our immediate experience, with less reactive habit. Even that language may feel abstract to the average parent or child trying to find some peace and happiness. More than any single definition, what matters most is that there’s an intention. We spend an awful lot of our lives reacting to things we like or dislike in ways that aren’t always useful. When we break patterns and handle the uncertainty of life more easily, that’s beneficial. However you define it, mindfulness means living with less mindless habit and more ability to manage the fact that life is awfully hard sometimes.

So what does mindfulness with kids mean? Another way of framing mindfulness is as a group of mental traits. It’s not that anything specifically gets fixed by a practice of mindfulness; it’s guiding children toward long-term skills that make life easier. We teach children to become more attentive, less reactive, more compassionate, and resilient. From that perspective, mindfulness is a way to build life management abilities, but far from the only one. We offer children tools to handle the challenging road ahead through any means that fit.

When we say that mindfulness means “paying attention to what we’re doing,” we transfer this to our children by paying more attention to them when we’re together. “Staying calm under pressure” means taking a few breaths and not blowing a gasket when homework falls apart. When we say to treat others with compassion, that starts with how we speak to the frazzled guy at the airport dealing with our flight cancellation. Acknowledging honestly and openly that no one is perfect, we also recognize that we won’t stick to our own intentions all the time. We make mistakes and learn from them and keep going. Drawing our children into that part of life teaches them something too.

When it comes to teaching mindfulness, focus on the skills you want your children to develop. That matters more than whether they commit to a “mindfulness practice.” We build resilience by developing EF (Executive Function) and attention, emotional awareness, self-confidence, self-compassion, positive relationships, and all the rest that comes from being raised in a mindful, aware household. That doesn’t mean specifically meditating, but it does mean emphasizing a balanced lifestyle.

Mindfulness implies living with clarity in a certain way. We guide kids to pay attention every way we can — by taking moments to pause and look at a sea shell or by prioritizing activities that build attention (like reading, chess, and board games) over those that disrupt attention (excessive screen time). We discuss emotions and describe our own emotions. We live compassionately, read books that reflect other people’s perspectives, and generally immerse kids in compassion, while gradually considering if they’re ready for a compassion-based mindfulness practice.

Mindfulness is a tool kit for a different way of living, one that provides kids skills to manage life on their own one day. The good news is, kids don’t even have to practice it themselves to get there. They learn from watching us and from the overall way they live themselves. Of course, they eventually can learn from their own practice of mindfulness too. As you practice yourself, you’ll know exactly how to encourage your children to join you (links to books supporting mindfulness in kids can be found at howchildrenthrive.com). But it’s the big picture of how they are raised that counts most.

Consider This:

Imagine yourself from your child’s point of view. How would your child describe you to a friend? What’s fun and easy about you, what are your strengths, and what areas might you want to change?

 

Excerpted from How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids.

 

 

Mark Bertin, MD, is a bestselling author who specializes in integrating mindfulness with other evidence-based neurodevelopmental care. His previous books include Mindful Parenting for ADHD and The Family ADHD Solution.

 

 

Buy your copy of How Children Thrive at your favorite bookseller!

Sounds True | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

 

Mark Bertin: How Children Thrive and the Developmental...

Dr. Mark Bertin is a pediatrician, mindfulness teacher, and the author of regular articles for Mindful.org, Huffpost, and Psychology Today. With Sounds True, he has published How Children Thrive: The Practical Science of Raising Independent, Resilient, and Happy Kids. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Mark discuss his research on executive functioning—those mental processes that allow us to organize and responsibly manage our immediate environment—and how this develops in children. Drawing from his extensive work, Mark explains the healthy stages of executive function development and why a supportive, open-minded, and fun-promoting environment is what kids actually need to thrive. They talk about Mark’s previous work with childhood ADHD and how it led to his current focus, as well as why attention disorders can be interpreted as delays in executive function development. Finally, Mark and Tami speak on setting boundaries around technology use and how introducing mindfulness practices early in childhood leads to healthier, happier lives down the road. (64 minutes)

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  • Science & Soul: Evidence supports yoga’s ability to reduce stress while honoring its deeper spiritual roots in healing.
  • Sustainable Healing: Ongoing, compassionate practice encourages emotional resilience and lasting mental clarity.

How Yoga Supports Mental And Emotional Well-Being

Yoga’s influence goes far beyond the physical body. For many, it serves as an anchor through emotional storms and mental overwhelm. To understand how yoga for mental health can become part of your healing journey, let’s explore its core contributions:

A Holistic Practice That Meets You Where You Are

Yoga isn’t just movement, it’s a conversation with your inner world. It brings together the breath, body, and mind to create space for awareness, without pressure to perform or change. In that space, emotional patterns can soften, revealing clarity beneath the noise.

Scientific Support For Emotional And Mental Relief

Research continues to affirm what many practitioners intuitively feel. Regular yoga practice has been shown to reduce stress hormones, increase calming brain chemicals like GABA, and regulate the nervous system. This makes it a gentle, sustainable approach to both yoga and mental health.

Emotional Balance Begins With Compassionate Awareness

One of the most powerful aspects of yoga for emotional balance is its ability to foster self-compassion. When we step onto the mat with whatever emotions are present: anxiety, grief, joy, or numbness, yoga teaches us how to stay connected without judgment. Over time, this builds emotional resilience rooted in presence rather than resistance.

From Temporary Relief To Lasting Inner Stability

The effects of yoga can feel subtle at first, but they ripple outward. A consistent practice doesn’t just offer short-term calm; it strengthens your ability to self-regulate and respond, not react. This is how inner healing yoga supports transformation from within, one breath at a time.

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The Science And Spirit Of Yoga For Mental Health

Yoga’s unique power lies in its ability to bridge ancient wisdom with modern understanding. While it has spiritual roots that invite deep introspection, it also holds measurable benefits for mental health. To fully appreciate the role of yoga in emotional and psychological well-being, it helps to look at both perspectives side by side:

What Modern Research Reveals

Scientific studies continue to explore the mental health benefits of yoga. Results point to improved mood, reduced anxiety and depression, and enhanced emotional regulation. These outcomes support the growing use of yoga for mental health in therapeutic settings, including trauma recovery and stress management.

Why The Subtle Body Matters

In yogic philosophy, healing isn’t limited to the physical or even the psychological. The concept of prana, or life force, helps explain why movement and breath can shift emotional states. Practices that work with subtle energy including inner healing yoga, help release stored tension and clear emotional blockages.

Balancing Effort And Surrender

Yoga invites a delicate interplay between strength and softness. In doing so, it mirrors the healing process itself: part discipline, part letting go. This balance nurtures the experience of mental clarity through yoga, creating the conditions for stillness to arise naturally.

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Cultivating Emotional Balance Through Movement And Breath

Our emotions live in the body. They’re not just mental states but physical experiences, tightness in the chest, heaviness in the limbs, or fluttering in the gut. Yoga helps us move these feelings through instead of holding them in:

The Body As A Gateway To Emotional Awareness

Movement can unlock what words cannot. Through intentional poses, especially those that open the hips, heart, and spine, yoga supports the release of stored emotions. This is why yoga for emotional balance feels less like escape and more like a homecoming.

The Breath As Regulator And Messenger

Breathwork, or pranayama, is a powerful tool for emotional regulation. By consciously slowing the breath, we calm the nervous system and shift our state of mind. Over time, this supports both yoga and mental health by creating internal space for reflection rather than reaction.

Rhythmic Practice Builds Emotional Resilience

Consistency is key. Even short, daily practices help build the emotional strength needed to navigate life’s ups and downs. This steady rhythm reinforces the benefits of inner healing yoga, creating a supportive foundation for deeper personal work.

Supportive Tools For Emotional Healing

For those looking for gentle guidance, the yoga for your mood deck offers intuitive prompts and accessible poses to meet you where you are emotionally. It’s a helpful companion for days when you’re not sure how to begin but know you need something.

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Accessing Mental Clarity Through Yogic Presence

Mental clarity often feels just out of reach in a noisy world. Yoga creates the internal conditions that allow clarity to surface, not by forcing it, but by slowing things down. When the body is calm and the breath is steady, the mind can begin to clear:

Slowing Down To See Clearly

Yoga encourages us to pause and notice. Whether you’re holding a posture or sitting in stillness, these moments of mindful presence quiet the mental chatter. This process is central to experiencing mental clarity through yoga, where insights arise not from thinking harder but from thinking less.

Meditation And Stillness As Deep Practices

While movement helps discharge tension, meditation helps us see beneath it. Even a few minutes of seated awareness can reveal thought patterns and emotional loops we didn’t realize were there. These practices are integral to both yoga for mental health and long-term emotional wellness.

The Restorative Power Of Rest

Rest is not a luxury, it’s essential for mental clarity and nervous system repair. Deep rest practices like Yoga Nidra offer profound restoration. For an accessible entry point, explore yoga nidra—the sleep yoga, which gently guides you into deep states of awareness without effort.

Clarity As A Byproduct, Not A Goal

Yoga doesn’t chase clarity. It invites you to create the right internal environment and let clarity arise in its own time. Over time, this approach nurtures both inner healing yoga and sustainable mental clarity rooted in presence.

Inner Healing Yoga As A Path To Wholeness

Healing is not always about fixing what’s broken. Often, it’s about remembering what has always been whole beneath the layers of stress, pain, and disconnection. Inner healing yoga invites this remembering through intentional practice and self-inquiry:

Creating A Safe Space Within

The mat becomes a mirror. Each posture, breath, and moment of stillness offers a chance to meet yourself with honesty and care. This safe internal space nurtures the emotional awareness essential for lasting transformation.

The Power Of Self-Compassion

Yoga teaches us that healing is not linear. There will be days when the mind is foggy, the body is tense, or emotions feel overwhelming. Returning to your practice anyway builds trust, in yourself, and in the process of yoga for emotional balance.

Integration Beyond The Mat

The most meaningful shifts often happen after practice, in how we speak to ourselves, how we move through relationships, and how we respond to life. This is the deeper work of yoga and mental health, where practice becomes a lived experience of wholeness.

An Ongoing Invitation To Go Deeper

Inner healing is not a destination. It’s a continuous invitation to be in relationship with yourself as you are right now. As your awareness grows, so does your capacity for mental clarity through yoga, clarity rooted in self-understanding, not perfection.

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Final Thoughts

Yoga invites a return to ourselves. It doesn’t demand that we change who we are, but gently guides us to remember what already lives within us, clarity, calm, and connection. Whether you’re seeking stillness, release, or simply a moment to breathe, yoga offers the tools to support your healing from the inside out.

As you continue exploring the path of yoga for mental health, you may find that what once felt like emotional chaos begins to soften into something more spacious. With consistent practice, both yoga for emotional balance and inner healing yoga can become steady companions in your life. The clarity that arises is not forced but welcomed, cultivated through each breath, each pause, each mindful moment.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Yoga For Mental Health

What type of yoga is best for mental health?

Gentle, breath-focused styles like Hatha, Yin, and Restorative Yoga are especially beneficial for mental health, as they calm the nervous system and promote inner stillness.

Can yoga replace therapy or medication for mental health conditions?

Yoga can be a powerful complement to therapy or medication, but it is not a substitute. Always consult a healthcare provider for individualized treatment plans.

How often should I practice yoga for mental health benefits?

Even 10 to 20 minutes daily can support mental and emotional wellness. Consistency matters more than intensity when it comes to cultivating inner balance.

Is it normal to feel emotional during or after yoga practice?

Yes, emotions can rise during yoga as physical movement and breathwork unlock stored tension. This is part of the body’s natural release and healing process.

Can beginners benefit from yoga for mental clarity and emotional healing?

Absolutely. No advanced skill is needed to start. Breath awareness, simple movements, and mindful rest can offer noticeable benefits, even for beginners.

What role does community play in yoga for mental health?

Practicing in community, whether in-person or online, can enhance feelings of support and connection. Shared practice helps reduce isolation and deepens healing.

How does yoga support nervous system regulation?

Yoga helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system through slow breathing and mindful movement, promoting a state of rest, recovery, and emotional stability.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

  • Anonymous says:

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS

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