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Category: Psychology

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Post Views: 3,786
Psychology Relationships

Stan Tatkin: I Vow to Take You On as My Burden

Stan Tatkin — November 13, 2018

Stan Tatkin is a clinical psychologist, couples and family therapist, and the author of Wired for Love. With Sounds True, he has published a new book titled We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Stan about his unique methodology, the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). Stan explains his definition of a couple as a “biological survival unit” and some of the common occurrences that threaten the long-term cohesion of that unit. Tami and Stan discuss the ways attachment styles affect our ability to be in relationship and how we have to accept partners along with their burdens. Finally, Stan details what it means to have “secure functioning” in a relationship and the key lessons for creating a healthy, loving long-term partnership. (69 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway: “Everyone is a pain in the ass,” teaches Stan, “and so are you.” Listening to Stan, I developed an even deeper appreciation of my beloved wife of 17 years, how she puts up with me . . . and how I put up with her. It also illuminated how the combination can lead to what Stan calls “a secure functioning relationship” where we see each other realistically, not idealistically, and are committed to collaborating as a successful “survival unit” consisting of two perfectly imperfect human beings.

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Post Views: 1,414
Health & Healing Psychology

Ronald Siegel: The Psychophysiological Component in He...

Ronald Siegel — October 30, 2018

Ronald Siegel is a longtime assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School and the author of many books. With Sounds True, he has created the audio program Healing Through Mindfulness: Effective Practices for Chronic Health Conditions. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Ron talk about the psychological contributing factors to chronic pain—especially in the back and spine. Speaking on his own brush with debilitating pain, Ron explains the ways that stress and other psychophysiological components can instigate everything from insomnia to irritable bowel syndrome. Ron and Tami also discuss how to have frank conversations around chronic pain, as well as how to make friends with negative emotions like fear and anxiety. Finally, Ron shares his thoughts on the increasing willingness of the medical community to embrace mindfulness meditation. (70 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway
In my own experience, I can often trace the relationship between the onset of stress, an increase in muscular tension, and back pain. However, the problem for me has been when other people share about their painful conditions. I often jump to the conclusion that there must be a psychological component to their suffering—and then the person in question feels judged at best, and at worst that I am “blaming them for their illness.” Dr. Ron Siegel teaches how to meet someone in their pain (and by extension, how to meet our own pain) with utter openness and curiosity. The takeaway: pre-drawn conclusions shut exchanges down; genuine openness and curiosity create connection.

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Post Views: 646
Psychology Spirituality

Miles Neale: Entering a Tibetan Buddhist Flight Simula...

Miles Neale — October 9, 2018

Miles Neale is a prominent member of the current generation of Buddhist teachers, championing the emerging field of contemplative psychotherapy. With Sounds True, Miles has published Gradual Awakening: The Tibetan Buddhist Path of Becoming Fully Human. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Miles about Lam Rim, the Tibetan Buddhist framework for moving into enlightened awakening step by measured step. They discuss the difference between gradually awakening and coming to enlightenment in a sudden burst, as well as the potential interplay between the two. Miles also leads Tami and the audience in a seven-step mentor bonding visualization that takes advantage of the mind’s capacity to create a “flight simulator” for felt experience. Finally, Miles and Tami talk about the need to re-embrace religion and ritual in order to transcend the “cinderblock civilization” of materialism and nihilism. (69 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway
When Miles led us through a brief version of the mentor-bonding process that he teaches, I was surprised by who showed up in my mind’s eye. It was not a spiritual mentor, business mentor, or a psychological guide, but someone who has recently begun helping me become physically fit. This underscored for me how many different dimensions there are to mentorship, as well as how important it is to be utterly open to receiving help from a surprising source.

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Post Views: 1,019
Parenting & Children Psychology

Susan David: Emotional Agility

Susan David — September 11, 2018

Susan David is a psychologist teaching at Harvard Medical School, cofounder of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, and the bestselling author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks with Susan about modern society’s attitudes toward emotion—specifically our tendency to label certain feelings as good or bad, and the dysfunctional behaviors that arise as a result. Susan explains that a much healthier approach is to identify “bad” emotions as “tough” or “difficult,” allowing us to examine them in a granular way that helps in processing them. Tami and Susan discuss how this informed method of dealing with emotions can be taught to children, which is especially important for learning not to bottle or brood upon unpleasant feelings. Finally, Susan draws upon a story from her adolescence to illustrate why emotional honesty is paramount for living a fulfilled life and why forced positivity never works out in the long run. (66 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway: I loved hearing from a Harvard professor that “chasing happiness just doesn’t work.” It certainly hasn’t worked for me. Instead, she teaches how rewarding it can be to orient ourselves towards fulfillment and living a life that is meaningful. And then in some strange, unexpected way, happiness dawns. My two favorite quotes from this interview are: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” and “Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility.”

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Post Views: 1,511
Health & Healing Psychology

Rick Doblin: The Psychedelic Renaissance

Rick Doblin — July 31, 2018

Rick Doblin, PhD, is a Harvard-trained researcher and the founder of MAPS—the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies. Rick and MAPS work to develop a legal framework for the application of psychedelic drugs both as medication and for personal psychological growth. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Rick about the current clinical research surrounding the use of MDMA to treat post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as many other possibilities for other psychedelic-assisted therapies. They talk about the current “psychedelic renaissance” in therapeutic treatment, reflecting on some of the risks of such drug-assisted regimens and the need for careful integration of psychedelic experiences. With this in mind, Tami and Rick discuss his relationship with the Zendo Project, a department of MAPS devoted to helping individuals who are having emotionally challenging psychedelic experiences at festivals and events. Finally, Rick explains his own lifelong relationship with psychedelic drugs, including his hopes for future treatments and a national “coming out party” of prominent individuals who can attest to the difference psychedelics have made in their lives. (73 minutes)

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Post Views: 9,887
Health & Healing Psychology

Richard Schwartz: Greater than the Sum of Our Parts

Richard Schwartz — July 17, 2018

Richard Schwartz, PhD, is a therapist, author, and the founder of the Internal Family Systems modality of psychotherapy. With Sounds True, he has most recently created the audio program Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts: Discovering Your True Self Through Internal Family Systems Therapy. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Dr. Schwartz about the origins of IFS—specifically how his family therapy practice made him realize that every client had a multiplicity of internal parts that were often in conflict with one another. As he delved more deeply into the issue, Dr. Schwartz crafted a therapeutic model that directly engaged these parts, addressed their grievances, assured their safety, and eventually brought them under the leadership of a primary, centered “Self.” Dr. Schwartz and Tami discuss how parts take on emotional burdens, freezing their development in moments of high stress or trauma. They also talk about the intersection of IFS and MDMA therapy, as well as how research in that area might open new avenues for treatment of serious psychological disorders. Finally, Dr. Schwartz describes how IFS can be applied to social activism, spiritual exploration, and the ups and downs of everyday life. (70 minutes)

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Sounds True is a multimedia publishing company founded in 1985 by Tami Simon, with the mission of disseminating spiritual wisdom. The company is based in Lafayette, Colorado.

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