What if the parts of you that feel the most “broken” in relationships are actually superpowers in disguise? Tami Simon speaks with psychologist and attachment expert Dr. Diane Poole Heller about her new book, The Attachment Workbook, and why insecure attachment patterns aren’t flaws to fix, but adaptive responses to understand—and heal.
Dr. Diane Poole Heller is an internationally recognized expert, author, and speaker specializing in adult attachment theory and trauma resolution. A former senior faculty member for Somatic Experiencing International, she studied for decades alongside trauma pioneer Dr. Peter Levine before developing DARE (Dynamic Attachment Re-patterning Experience), a somatic framework for healing insecure attachment. She is the author of The Power of Attachment and, most recently, The Attachment Workbook: Practical Exercises to Understand Your Patterns, Strengthen Connection, and Build Secure Relationships, part of Sounds True’s Inner Workbook series.
In this conversation, Tami and Diane explore:
- Why secure attachment is biological—something we’re all wired for, not something only some people get
- The hidden “superpowers” of avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized attachment styles
- How attachment wounds get physically trapped in the nervous system, and how the body completes what it couldn’t finish
- The near-death experience that redirected Diane’s life’s work toward love and connection
- Why healing attachment doesn’t require a partner, and how your relationship with yourself can be the starting point
- The research-backed power of repair in relationships, and why learning to apologize well may matter more than never rupturing at all
- Practical visualization exercises from The Attachment Workbook, including inviting in an imagined protector and healing the “attachment gaze”
This episode is for anyone who has wondered why connection feels so hard—whether you’re a therapist, a partner, a parent, or simply someone ready to understand your own relational patterns with more compassion.
Listen now to discover why secure attachment isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a skill, and it’s never too late to learn it.
This interview originally aired on Sounds True One, where you can enjoy early, ad-free access to episodes of Insights at the Edge: https://join.soundstrue.com/
