Kelly Boys

Kelly Boys is a mindfulness trainer with the United Nations Foundation. She is the host of the Mindfulness Monthly program with Sounds True and directed the launch of the Google-born Search Inside Yourself facilitator training program for neuroscience-based emotional intelligence and mindfulness for the SIY Leadership Institute. She’s taught war veterans, prison inmates, humanitarian workers, and psychotherapists. She lives in Northern California. More at kellyboys.org.

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Kelly Boys: Illuminating Our Blind Spots

Kelly Boys is a teacher and author who directed the launch of the renowned Search Inside Yourself training program, based on the emotional intelligence and mindfulness program developed at Google. With Sounds True, she has published The Blind Spot Effect: How to Stop Missing What’s Right in Front of You. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Kelly speaks with Tami Simon on the different kinds of blind spots, how we develop them, and how to finally see through those blockages. Kelly describes what drew her to the subject and also leads the audience in a guided practice for homing in on their own blind spots. Tami and Kelly talk about “the endowment effect”—a psychological need to grasp onto what is familiar even if it no longer serves our best interests. Finally, they discuss the greatest (and most common) blind spot of all: the feeling that we are separate from the rest of humanity. (62 minutes)

Recognizing Your Blind Spots

Blind spots, by nature, aren’t seen by you, and cause you to behave unconsciously in ways that have impact on yourself, others, and the world around you. Blind spots are not areas you are familiar with that you are ‘working on’ – qualities you are developing – for example, trying to be more patient with your kids or more loving with your partner. Those qualities may be related to blind spots, but that is not what I’m addressing here. Blind spots are literally what you DON’T see about yourself.

Have you ever had trouble taking in some piece of information – in a talk or a book you’re reading, or sitting on your therapist’s couch? Usually it’s a seemingly innocuous and simple piece of information, but you just can’t get it, or hear it. It’s like you’re going fuzzy. That is a good indication of a blind spot trying to come into the light.

Or perhaps even worse, you keep getting the same feedback from your partner, your coworkers, and even the generalized world around you keeps holding up the same mirror. But it doesn’t quite make sense. You actually can’t really hear or see it. Or even if it makes sense intellectually, it just doesn’t seem necessarily relevant or important enough to demand your attention. Even though you’re hearing the information with your two ears, it flies right past you in terms of actually sticking in your brain, your being, your heart. It actually does not compute. Another signal that it may be a blind spot!

What we tend to end up with as we become adults is an imbalanced view of ourselves that plays handily into the creation and maintenance of our blind spots. What if you saw this mechanism at play, and then saw the pain and suffering you add on top of it? We usually do this in two ways: by personalizing it all and making ourselves either too big for our britches or conversely, unworthy of love and care. This is what I mean by an ‘imbalanced’ self view: too big or too small, over-amazing or under-good-enough. What if you had the courage and humility it would take to admit and embrace your actual place in the world? Even if that means it’s an amazing place in the world? It doesn’t have to be small and hidden just because we are humble and aware. But we are at home.

This is what I mean by learning how to live an undefended life. We aren’t propping up a flimsy ideal of who we think we should or shouldn’t be, or who we think others want us to be. We just are who we are, at home in our own skin, blemishes and all. And we inhabit ourselves so much so that our gifts fall out of us necessarily, rightfully, and with ease.

What if being yourself isn’t essentially about finding your voice, your true calling, your best self, your most significant offering to the world, but instead is about learning to become at home in the world – your world? Learning to become a simple, content, good human being. With no promises on the outcome. Just for the sake of it.

 

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Excerpted from The Blind Spot Effect by Kelly Boys.

Kelly Boys directed the launch of Google’s “Search Inside Yourself” leadership training program for neuroscience-based emotional intelligence and mindfulness. She’s taught war veterans, women in prison, cancer survivors, those with substance abuse addictions, humanitarian workers, and psychotherapists. She lives in Boulder, Colorado. More at kellyboys.org.

 

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What Is Brainspotting?

Brainspotting is designed to help people access and process unresolved trauma through focused attention on specific eye positions. The method rests on the idea that where a person looks can correspond to where difficult experiences are stored in the brain and body. Staying with a brainspot while remaining aware of physical sensations and emotions, people can work through material that language alone might not reach.

Since David Grand developed this approach, brainspotting therapy has been applied broadly, with athletes, artists, business leaders, and survivors of large-scale events, among others. Grand also offers an online course through Sounds True that walks through the core principles behind brainspotting therapy, available to those who want to learn directly from the source.

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David Grand and the Development of Brainspotting Therapy

Brainspotting therapy came out of a significant clinical observation. During trauma treatment, David Grand noticed that a client’s eye position seemed to shift when deeper emotional material surfaced. That moment became the foundation for a method built around the brain’s own capacity to process and release what it has long held in place.

Since its introduction, brainspotting therapy has been used by clinicians around the world to help people facing trauma, anxiety, grief, chronic stress, and performance-related challenges. Grand’s work continues to shape the field by drawing attention to the connection between the brain, the body, and emotional healing.

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Trauma Therapy Eye Position and the Brain-Body Connection

Trauma therapy eye position describes the relationship between where someone directs their gaze and what emotional or physical experiences become accessible as a result. During a session, a therapist guides the client to a specific visual point and invites them to notice what arises in the body as they hold that focus. Sensations, emotions, and memories can surface as the nervous system begins to process material it has held in place for years.

The body carries what the mind sometimes can’t articulate. A shift in eye position can open access to experiences held below conscious awareness, gently creating conditions for the nervous system to complete what was once interrupted. Healing, in this way, becomes a process the whole person takes part in, not just the thinking mind.

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How the Brainspotting Technique Uses Eye Position to Access Trauma

The brainspotting technique begins with identifying an eye position linked to an emotional or physical response. From there, the therapist invites the client to rest their attention on that visual point while remaining aware of what arises in the body. The process creates space for the nervous system to do what it naturally knows how to do, without demanding that memories surface on command.

A concrete example might be this: someone working through anxiety tied to an experience might start by calling that experience to mind. As the therapist slowly moves a pointer across their field of vision, the client notices a position where a physical sensation intensifies, perhaps tightness in the chest or a change in breath. That’s the brainspot. The session then focuses there while the client tracks what unfolds internally, allowing the nervous system to process what it has previously stored.

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EMDR vs Brainspotting: Understanding the Key Differences

EMDR follows a standardized eight-phase protocol and uses bilateral stimulation, typically through guided eye movements, sounds, or tapping, to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories. Brainspotting focuses on identifying one significant eye position and following the client’s internal experience from there. Sessions tend to be more open-ended, allowing the individual’s nervous system to lead.

Neither method is universally better than the other. A qualified therapist can help determine which fits a person’s history, goals, and comfort level. Many clinicians receive training in both and draw on each as the situation calls for it.

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Final Thoughts

Brainspotting offers a distinctive perspective on trauma healing, one that trusts the body’s capacity to know where attention is needed. Working with eye position rather than narration alone, this approach creates conditions for healing to happen at the body’s own pace.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Brainspotting

Is brainspotting backed by research?

Brainspotting is supported by a growing body of clinical research and case studies. While research continues to evolve, many mental health professionals use it as part of trauma-informed care for emotional and psychological concerns.

Who can benefit from brainspotting?

Brainspotting may benefit adults and adolescents experiencing trauma, anxiety, grief, stress, or performance-related challenges. A qualified mental health professional can determine whether it is an appropriate approach for an individual’s needs.

Do I have to talk about my trauma during brainspotting?

Not necessarily. While some people choose to discuss their experiences, brainspotting can also focus on physical sensations and emotions, allowing processing without requiring detailed verbal storytelling.

Can brainspotting be combined with other therapies?

Yes. Many therapists integrate brainspotting with other evidence-based approaches, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness practices, or somatic therapies, to create a personalized treatment plan.

Is brainspotting only used for trauma?

No. Although it is widely recognized for trauma treatment, brainspotting is also used to support people dealing with anxiety, creative blocks, chronic stress, and performance enhancement in sports, music, and public speaking.

What should I expect after a brainspotting session?

Some people feel calm or relieved after a session, while others may continue processing emotions or physical sensations for a short time. Therapists often recommend rest, hydration, and self-reflection between sessions.

Is brainspotting suitable for everyone?

Brainspotting may not be the best fit for every individual or situation. A licensed therapist can evaluate your mental health history and recommend the most appropriate treatment approach.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.