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Why the Summer is Surprisingly Busy—And What To Do A...

Why Summer is Busy & What to Do About It, Charlie Gilkey, Sounds True

 

Many people find themselves surprisingly busier in the summer than they expect to be. The chief reason we’re surprised is that the summer brings new projects that we often don’t count as projects and we have to weave those projects in with the projects we set in motion in the spring.

Why don’t we count the new projects that summer brings? Simple—many of us don’t count “life” activities as projects or prioritize “life” activities in the same way we do “work” projects. There’s an artificial divide between the work we do and the “life stuff” we do.

But here’s the thing: regardless of whether something falls into the “work” or “life” bucket, it’s going to take time, energy, and attention to get done. My definition of project in Start Finishing is anything that requires time, energy, and attention to complete. The upshot of looking at things this way is that it helps us see more clearly all the stuff we’re carrying and trying to do.

So, what are some “life” projects?

Summer trips are projects.

Transitioning kids from being at school all day to being at home all day for the summer is a project. (As is transitioning them back into school.)

Figuring out how to keep said kids fed every day is a project (that then turns into a new daily routine).

Maintaining yard care equipment is a project (that then turns into a new weekly routine of taking care of the lawn.)

Cleaning out the garage is a project.

Getting the motorcycle and/or bike ready for the season is a project.

I could go on, but you get the point. All of those are summer-specific projects that fall in our laps after the spring. But when we’re setting plans in spring, we’re often not thinking about them because they’re not in our face in the same way as a kid asking where the milk is (where it always is!) or the weeds that are peeking over the window to the backyard.

If it were just that new projects blossom in the summer, it would be one thing. But conjoined with new projects blossoming is that many of us often want to work less in the summer—and, for some of us, the desire to slow down isn’t just emotional, but something primal or spiritual. The long, hot days of summer changes some of us from hard-driving, high-energy, can-do folk into a walking Jimmy Buffet song.

Though we find ourselves in this position every year, it can be hard to see the pattern. Part of it is just the pace of life, but the other part is that we too often think of ourselves as invariant robots rather than the animals we are. Every other animal adapts to the changing world around it—artificial lights and air conditioning may allow us to alter the environment, but the changes still affect us more than we like to let on.

If you’re finding your summer busier and more compressed than you’d like it to be, here are three questions that will help you sink into the season:

  1. What new or recurring seasonal projects emerged that you hadn’t planned for or didn’t fully acknowledge as a project?
  2. Which of the projects you planned in the spring can be put on hold or dropped to make space for this summer’s projects?
  3. Are there any shifts to project timelines or your daily work schedule that would help you keep momentum on your projects while sinking into feeling of summer?

You might also check out Samantha Brody’s Overcoming Overwhelmit’s a fantastic book that explains how overwhelm shows up in our bodies, hearts, and heads and what to do about it.

Better to adjust now than spend the summer feeling like you’re behind and unable to enjoy the people, nature, and energy of the season.

 

Charlie Gilkey, Sounds True

 

Charlie Gilkey is the founder of Productive Flourishing, a company that helps professional creatives, leaders, and changemakers take meaningful action on work that matters. He is the author of The Small Business Life Cycle, and is widely cited in outlets such as Inc., Time, Forbes, the Guardian, Lifehacker,and more. He’s also an Army veteran and near-PhD in philosophy. He lives in Portland, Oregon. For more, visit productiveflourishing.com .

 

 

 

Start Finishing, Charlie Gilkey, Sounds True

 

Pre-order your copy of Charlie’s forthcoming book,

Start Finishing: How to Go from Idea to Done from your favorite retailer below!

Sounds True | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | IndieBound

 

Why Summer is Busy & What to Do About It, Charlie Gilkey, Sounds True

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S3 New Year’s Bonus: Every Day Gets Lighter When...

What do you plan to do with your “next lap around our star”?

Nearly everyone, Michael Singer observes, will do the same thing they do every other year of their lives: try to get what they want and avoid what they don’t want. And they’ll be just as unhappy.

Why do we do this? Can’t we liberate ourselves from this no-win situation? Here, Michael shines an optimistic light on the New Year.

For more information, go to michaelsingerpodcast.com.
© Sounds True Inc. Episodes: © 2024 Michael A. Singer. All Rights Reserved.

The Reality of Co-Creation with Caroline Myss

Co-creation is a reality, but you have to understand what heaven means by reality. It is not a dynamic that serves our personality-it’s a dynamic that serves the soul. And if you were to understand that your soul and your personality generally make two different choices it would be easier to understand the unfolding of the dynamics of your life because they unfold according to the needs of your spirit and not the wants of your personality.

What if you were truly capable of releasing what you want to see happen in your life? Could you do that? Could you live a life where you created a million things and did it anonymously? Because that’s what it means to surrender, and be a partner in co-creation.

The liberation here is that no matter what the gods ask you to do, that ferocious ego that judges what is powerful and what isn’t—what is a big choice, what is a little choice—finally, you’ve silenced that voice. You enter into that profound state of grace that says, “I don’t know why you want me to do this, and quite frankly, I’m at a level of my life where I don’t have to know.” You say to Spirit, “I give you my will. I can’t figure life out anymore. It’s too big a mystery. I’d rather live life than figure it out.” I might suggest this is a better way to go.

– Excerpted from Advanced Energy Anatomy: The Science of Co-Creation and Your Power of Choice, by Caroline Myss

advancedenergy

What Makes a Healthy Mind

Tami Simon speaks with Dan Siegel, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the executive director of the Mindsight Institute in Los Angeles. He is the author of several books, including The Developing Mind; the Sounds True audio learning programs The Mindful Brain and The Neurobiology of We; and the October Soundstrue.com online course Mindfulness and the Brain. Dan discusses what it means to have a healthy mind. (68 Minutes)

What Causes Reactivity and How to Navigate it Skillful...

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Our shadow-bound conditioning shows itself most often through reactivity. When we’re reactive, we’re automatically reverting to and acting out conditioned behavior, usually in ways that are emotionally disproportionate to what’s warranted in a given situation.

Reactivity is the knee-jerk dramatization of activated shadow material. Self-justifying and far from self-reflective, reactivity features a very predictable take on what’s going on, which we proceed with even if we know better.

The signs of reactivity include:

An exaggerated attachment to being right. If someone points out this attachment to us when we’re being reactive, it usually only amplifies our righteousness.

Emotional distortion and/or overload. More often than not, this behavior gets quite melodramatic. We may use emotional intensity to back up what we’re doing.

Using the same words and ideas from previous times we’ve been triggered. It’s as if we’re on stage saying our lines as dictated by the same old script. We’re acting and re-acting, even when we know we’re doing so.

A lack of—or an opposition to—self-reflection. The refusal to step back, even just a bit, from what’s happening fuels the continuation of our reactivity.

A loss of connection with whomever we’re upset with. Our heart closes.

A loss of connection with our core. We’re immersed instead in our reactivity.

Here’s an example of how to skillfully—and nonreactively—handle reactivity. Imagine you’re embroiled in a reactive argument with your partner or a close friend. You’re dangerously close to making a decision about your relationship to them that you vaguely sense you’ll later regret, but damned if you’re going to hold back now! After all, don’t you have a right to be heard?

Things are getting very edgy. Then, rather than continuing your righteous, over-the-top dramatics, you admit to yourself that you’re being reactive. Period. You step back just a bit from all the sound, fury, and pressure to make a decision about your relationship with this person. You’re still churning inside, but the context has shifted. You’re starting to make some space for the reactive you instead of continuing to identify with it. There’s no dissociation here — just a dose of healthy separation, some degree of holding space for yourself, perhaps even some trace of emerging care for the other person.

On the outside, you’re slowing down and ceasing to attack the other, saying nothing more than what you’re feeling, without blaming the other for this. You’re starting to allow yourself to be vulnerable with the other. You’re interrupting your own reactivity.

Your intuition begins to shine through all the fuss. You start to realize that, while you were being reactive, your voice sounded much like it did when you were seven or eight years old. The same desperation, the same drivenness, the same cadence. You were hurting considerably then and trying to keep your hurt out of sight, because earlier times of expressing it had been met with parental rejection and shaming.

You’re still on shaky ground, though, and could still easily slip back into your reactive stance. Just one more shaming or otherwise unskillful comment from the other could do the trick. So you soften your jaw and belly, bend your knees slightly, and take five deep breaths, making sure that you count each breath on the exhale. You know from previous experience that these somatic adjustments will help settle you; they are your go-to calming responses for stressful moments.

As the out-front reality of your reactivity is now in clear sight, you feel shame. Some of this is a beneficial shame, activating your conscience, letting you know that you crossed a line with the other and that a genuine expression of remorse is fitting. You say you’re sorry, with obvious vulnerability. Sadness surfaces in you. You don’t make excuses for your reactivity. Instead, you make your connection with the other more important than being right.

And a very different kind of shame also arises, one that’s far from beneficial. This shame activates not your conscience but your inner critic (heartlessly negative self-appraisal). It’s aimed not at your behavior but at your very being, taking the form of self-flagellation for having slipped—a self-condemnation that, if allowed to run free, mires you in guilt and keeps you from reconnecting with the other. You acknowledge the presence of this toxic shame, saying to yourself that your inner critic is present. It’s not nearly as strong as it usually is, fading quickly as you name it. You choose to address it in depth later on, outside of the argument you were just having, as part of your ongoing shadow work. Reconnecting with the other is a priority now, and it’s happening, bringing relief and gratitude to you both.

Excerpted from Bringing Your Shadow Out of the Dark: Breaking Free from the Hidden Forces That Drive You by Robert Augustus Masters.

Robert Augustus Masters

Robert Augustus Masters, PhD, is an integral psychotherapist, relationship expert, and spiritual teacher whose work blends the psychological and physical with the spiritual, emphasizing embodiment, emotional literacy, and the development of relational maturity. He is the author of thirteen books, including Transformation through Intimacy and Spiritual Bypassing. For more information, visit robertmasters.com.

Buy your copy of Bringing Your Shadow Out of the Dark at your favorite bookseller!

Sounds True | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Gabby Bernstein: The Self-Led Journey Through Addictio...

Is it really possible to heal our deepest wounds and live a life without fear and anxiety? According to Gabby Bernstein, the answer is an emphatic yes. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Gabby about what it means to be led by the Self—that mysterious center of our being that can witness everything we experience in life from a compassionate center connected with source energy. 

Settle in for an inspiring conversation exploring: why our “clean vulnerability” can be our greatest strength; Internal Family Systems therapy and how it helps us heal from the inside out; activating calmness, connection, curiosity, commitment, and other “C qualities”; invoking our loving and wise inner parent; the four S’s: to be seen, soothed, safe, and secure; the connection between healing our trauma and healing our attachment style; embracing our shameful experiences with compassion; psychosomatic illness and “hiding behind the body”; the power of co-regulation; developing a relationship with your spiritual guidance system and reaching a place of faith in the future; and more.

This episode first aired live and on video on Sounds True One. To watch Insights at the Edge episodes live and on video, and to access additional bonus Q&A, please visit join.soundstrue.com to learn more.

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