Vanessa Bennett: Mothers and Wives: Resentment Is Yours to Own

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October 14, 2025

Vanessa Bennett: Mothers and Wives: Resentment Is Yours to Own

Vanessa Bennett October 14, 2025

Tami Simon and depth psychologist Vanessa Bennett explore the psyche’s need to experience initiation in our key life transitions, using resentment as a focal point for healing, how to change our unhealthy patterns in relationships, and reclaiming personal agency.

What relationship myth causes us the most suffering? According to depth psychologist Vanessa Bennett, it’s this: “That if you’re not fulfilled by parenthood, sex, or your relationships, then there’s something wrong with you.” Why? Because it’s often the fault of our culture, and not you personally, that’s to blame.

This week, Tami Simon welcomes the author of The Motherhood Myth to discuss the hidden pressures and misconceptions surrounding parenthood and intimate partnership—and how looking at your resentments is a surprisingly direct way to discover the roots of the wounds that unconsciously drive unhappiness in your relationships.

Join us to explore:

  • At your life’s turning points, why your unconscious may invite chaos or trauma
  • The societal roots of discontent in parenthood and intimate relationships
  • How Vanessa’s own experiences—from her neighborhood’s destruction by fire to everyday life with her daughter and husband—illustrate how to grow and heal
  • “If you’re good, I’m good. And if you’re not, I’m not”—codependency explained
  • The “choose me” wound—how we abandon ourselves in relationships and how to reintegrate
  • The “Consent Tool,” a practice to help restore safety and intimacy in your relationships, and more

If you’ve ever felt frustrated about the demands of your relationships—obvious or hidden—this episode will spark a wealth of “aha!” moments and insights for change.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listeners of Insights At The Edge get 10% off their first month at www.betterhelp.com/soundstrue.

Note: This interview originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, is a licensed depth psychotherapist, author, and facilitator known for her no-nonsense yet compassionate approach to personal growth and healing. She is the coauthor of the bestselling relationship book It’s Not Me, It’s You with her partner, John Kim, and she cohosts the Cheaper Than Therapy podcast. A former New Yorker now based in Los Angeles, Vanessa leads transformational retreats and workshops grounded in Jungian and depth-oriented psychology. Through her writing, teaching, and digital content, she helps others break generational patterns and reconnect with their truest selves. Visit vanessabennett.com for more.

Author photo © Sarah Williams Photography

 

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Meet Your Host: Tami Simon

Founded Sounds True in 1985 as a multimedia publishing house with a mission to disseminate spiritual wisdom. She hosts a popular weekly podcast called Insights at the Edge, where she has interviewed many of today's leading teachers. Tami lives with her wife, Julie M. Kramer, and their two spoodles, Rasberry and Bula, in Boulder, Colorado.

Photo © Jason Elias

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Vanessa Bennett: Mothers and Wives: Resentment Is Your...

Tami Simon and depth psychologist Vanessa Bennett explore the psyche’s need to experience initiation in our key life transitions, using resentment as a focal point for healing, how to change our unhealthy patterns in relationships, and reclaiming personal agency.

What relationship myth causes us the most suffering? According to depth psychologist Vanessa Bennett, it’s this: “That if you’re not fulfilled by parenthood, sex, or your relationships, then there’s something wrong with you.” Why? Because it’s often the fault of our culture, and not you personally, that’s to blame.

This week, Tami Simon welcomes the author of The Motherhood Myth to discuss the hidden pressures and misconceptions surrounding parenthood and intimate partnership—and how looking at your resentments is a surprisingly direct way to discover the roots of the wounds that unconsciously drive unhappiness in your relationships.

Join us to explore:

  • At your life’s turning points, why your unconscious may invite chaos or trauma
  • The societal roots of discontent in parenthood and intimate relationships
  • How Vanessa’s own experiences—from her neighborhood’s destruction by fire to everyday life with her daughter and husband—illustrate how to grow and heal
  • “If you’re good, I’m good. And if you’re not, I’m not”—codependency explained
  • The “choose me” wound—how we abandon ourselves in relationships and how to reintegrate
  • The “Consent Tool,” a practice to help restore safety and intimacy in your relationships, and more

If you’ve ever felt frustrated about the demands of your relationships—obvious or hidden—this episode will spark a wealth of “aha!” moments and insights for change.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listeners of Insights At The Edge get 10% off their first month at www.betterhelp.com/soundstrue.

Note: This interview originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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