3 Ways to Set Clear Boundaries to Enjoy This Holiday Season

    —
December 30, 2019

One of the things that get us so stressed out during the holiday season is the Must Do list, the unending expectations, the anxiety that comes when we feel we’ve let people down. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The holidays can literally be Holy Days, when you feel the love and light of family, friends, community and the shared gratitude of celebration.

Here are a few ways that Energy Medicine Yoga can help you this season.

Knowing the right way to say “No”

You know you want to say No, but you don’t know how. Before you say Yes, and add one more thing to an already full plate, take a moment in silence. Tune in and see what you really want to do. Then take one hand and draw big figure 8’s all along your throat. This is the home of the 5th chakra, where you speak your truth. The figure 8’s will help you find more clarity and ease with what can be a difficult answer.

Keep your own energies intact with the Zip Up

When you’re around a lot of people, you can take on the energies of everyone around you and start to feel like you’re losing your own self. Bring your hands in front of your pubic bone, set an intention to stay calm and true to yourself, and sweep your hands up your body and over your head. Do this two more times.

Calm down your stress response with this ‘hug’

Holidays can be stressful, and your body will respond to that. You can balance the stress response with the ‘inner mom’ by doing the Spleen hug. Hug one hand around your waist, hug the other hand around the opposite elbow. You can stand like this around the punch bowl, and feel calm and grounded so you can enjoy the holiday chaos!

Lauren Walker is the author of The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription (Sounds True, Sept 2017) and Energy Medicine Yoga: Amplify the Healing Power of Your Yoga Practice (Sounds True, 2014). She’s been teaching yoga and meditation since 1997 and created Energy Medicine Yoga while teaching at Norwich University. She teaches EMYoga across the US and internationally and has been featured in Yoga Journal, Mantra Yoga + Healing, Yoga Digest, and The New York Times. She was recently named one of the top 100 most influential yoga teachers in America by Sonima. For more information, visit EMYoga.net.

The community here at Sounds True wishes you a lovely holiday season! We are happy to collaborate with some of our Sounds True authors to offer you wisdom and practices as we move into this time together; please enjoy this blog series for your holiday season. 

To help encourage you and your loved ones to explore new possibilities this holiday season, we’re offering 40% off nearly all of our programs, books, and courses sitewide. May you find the wisdom to light your way. 

EXPLORE NOW

 

Lauren Walker

Photo of ()\

Lauren Walker is the author of The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription (Sounds True, Sept 2017) and Energy Medicine Yoga: Amplify the Healing Power of Your Yoga Practice (Sounds True, 2014). She's been teaching yoga and meditation since 1997 and created Energy Medicine Yoga while teaching at Norwich University. She teaches EMYoga across the US and internationally and has been featured in Yoga Journal, Mantra Yoga + Healing, Yoga Digest, and The New York Times. She was recently named one of the top 100 most influential yoga teachers in America by Sonima. For more information, visit EMYoga.net.

Author photo © Zachary Zorn 2014

Listen to Tami Simon's in-depth audio podcast interview with Lauren Walker:
Intimacy with the Body: Energy Medicine Yoga »
The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription »

Also By Author

3 Ways to Set Clear Boundaries to Enjoy This Holiday S...

One of the things that get us so stressed out during the holiday season is the Must Do list, the unending expectations, the anxiety that comes when we feel we’ve let people down. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The holidays can literally be Holy Days, when you feel the love and light of family, friends, community and the shared gratitude of celebration.

Here are a few ways that Energy Medicine Yoga can help you this season.

Knowing the right way to say “No”

You know you want to say No, but you don’t know how. Before you say Yes, and add one more thing to an already full plate, take a moment in silence. Tune in and see what you really want to do. Then take one hand and draw big figure 8’s all along your throat. This is the home of the 5th chakra, where you speak your truth. The figure 8’s will help you find more clarity and ease with what can be a difficult answer.

Keep your own energies intact with the Zip Up

When you’re around a lot of people, you can take on the energies of everyone around you and start to feel like you’re losing your own self. Bring your hands in front of your pubic bone, set an intention to stay calm and true to yourself, and sweep your hands up your body and over your head. Do this two more times.

Calm down your stress response with this ‘hug’

Holidays can be stressful, and your body will respond to that. You can balance the stress response with the ‘inner mom’ by doing the Spleen hug. Hug one hand around your waist, hug the other hand around the opposite elbow. You can stand like this around the punch bowl, and feel calm and grounded so you can enjoy the holiday chaos!

Lauren Walker is the author of The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription (Sounds True, Sept 2017) and Energy Medicine Yoga: Amplify the Healing Power of Your Yoga Practice (Sounds True, 2014). She’s been teaching yoga and meditation since 1997 and created Energy Medicine Yoga while teaching at Norwich University. She teaches EMYoga across the US and internationally and has been featured in Yoga Journal, Mantra Yoga + Healing, Yoga Digest, and The New York Times. She was recently named one of the top 100 most influential yoga teachers in America by Sonima. For more information, visit EMYoga.net.

The community here at Sounds True wishes you a lovely holiday season! We are happy to collaborate with some of our Sounds True authors to offer you wisdom and practices as we move into this time together; please enjoy this blog series for your holiday season. 

To help encourage you and your loved ones to explore new possibilities this holiday season, we’re offering 40% off nearly all of our programs, books, and courses sitewide. May you find the wisdom to light your way. 

EXPLORE NOW

 

Lauren Walker: The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription

Lauren Walker is a certified energy medicine practitioner, teaching assistant to Donna Eden, and one of the originators of Energy Medicine Yoga, which she teaches internationally. With Sounds True, Lauren has released The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Lauren discuss the ideal ways that energy moves through the body and how that flow can be manipulated to help heal a number of conditions. Lauren highlights specific practices for the treatment of insomnia and gut issues, as well as a method for listening to “meridian pulses” to diagnose unknown pains. Tami and Lauren also speak on how the development of self-acceptance in conjunction with Energy Medicine Yoga can help us reclaim pleasure and joy in our daily lives. Finally, Lauren leads listeners in “The Wake-Up,” a short practice designed to readjust the natural flow of our subtle energy. (63 minutes)

Lauren Walker: Intimacy with the Body: Energy Medicine...

Lauren Walker is a teacher of both yoga and energy medicine, who has served as Donna Eden’s teaching assistant and founded the yoga program at Norwich University. Lauren’s work has been featured in the New York Times, the Jerusalem Post, and Yoga Journal. With Sounds True, she has released the book Energy Medicine Yoga: Amplify the Healing Power of Your Yoga Practice. In this episode, Lauren speaks with Tami about the effectiveness of combining energy medicine techniques with yoga, how these practices can release trauma, and on-the-spot techniques to calm the fight-or-flight response. Lauren also shares a profound transformational practice called the Pure Breath technique. (76 minutes)

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This conversation offers genuine transmission, not just concepts about awakening, but the palpable presence of realized teachers exploring the growing edge of spiritual understanding together, and it originally aired on Sounds True One.

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The Point of Insight | Our Medicine Lives in the Wound


What if the very thing that wounded you is the source of the medicine you’re here to give?

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Stephen Cope: Finding Your True Calling

Somewhere between a job that pays the bills and a life that feels genuinely lived sits a question most people spend decades avoiding: what is this all actually for? Stephen Cope has spent his career sitting with exactly that question, drawing on both contemporary psychology and one of the oldest texts in the yogic tradition to answer it. His answer, notably, refuses the comfortable vagueness that so much popular advice on purpose tends to settle for.

Cope is a scholar emeritus at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health and former director of the Kripalu Institute for Extraordinary Living, the largest yoga research institute in the Western world, working alongside scientists affiliated with Harvard Medical School. He is the bestselling author of The Wisdom of Yoga and The Great Work of Your Life, and with Sounds True, he created an eight-week course called Your True Calling. Sounds True has carried Cope’s work for years because his teaching sits squarely at the intersection of yoga and vocation, bridging rigorous scholarship and genuinely lived practice, exactly the combination our founder believed spiritual wisdom needed when Sounds True began in 1985.

In this piece, we look at what dharma actually means in Cope’s framework, why precision matters more than effort alone, and how the Bhagavad Gita still speaks directly to anyone quietly wondering if they’ve missed their own path.

Key Takeaways:

  • Dharma Has Precision: Learn why Stephen Cope insists that missing your calling by an inch is the same as missing it by a mile.
  • Subtraction Comes First: Understand why deciding what not to do matters as much as deciding what to pursue.
  • The Gita as a Modern Guide: See how an ancient parable still maps directly onto contemporary struggles with purpose.

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Dharma: Purpose With Precision, Not Just Passion

Cope centers his teaching on dharma, a concept he defines as considerably more exact than the vague modern language of finding your passion.” His well-known line, that missing your calling by an inch is the same as missing it by a mile, captures something most self-help framing misses entirely: dharma isn’t a general direction; it’s a specific fit between a person’s gifts and the world’s genuine need for them. This precision can feel uncomfortable at first, since it leaves little room for the comfortable ambiguity many people prefer when talking about purpose, and it forces a much more honest inventory of what a person actually has to offer.

  • Not Vague Enthusiasm: Dharma requires a real match between innate gift and actual application.
  • Precision Over Proximity: Close alignment still counts as missing the mark in Cope’s framework.
  • A Path, Not a Feeling: Dharma is something lived and practiced, not simply felt once and confirmed.

The Bhagavad Gita as a Living Map

Cope draws heavily on the Bhagavad Gita, using the ancient warrior Arjuna’s crisis on the battlefield as a template for the very real paralysis many people feel when facing the direction of their own lives. Arjuna’s hesitation, caught between duty and doubt, becomes in Cope’s reading a stand-in for anyone stuck at a genuine crossroads, unsure whether to trust their gifts or retreat into safer, more familiar roles. What makes this ancient parable so enduring, Cope suggests, is that the core dilemma hasn’t actually changed much over thousands of years, only its modern packaging has, whether that shows up as a career change, a creative risk, or a quiet midlife reckoning.

  • Duty Versus Doubt: Arjuna’s paralysis mirrors the hesitation many feel before committing fully to a path.
  • An Old Text, A Current Struggle: The specific circumstances differ, but the underlying crisis of nerve repeats.
  • Guidance, Not Escape: The Gita offers a framework for engaging the crisis, not avoiding it.

Deciding What Not to Do

One of the more counterintuitive pieces of Cope’s teaching is his emphasis on subtraction. Before a person can bring their true gifts fully into the world, Cope argues, they usually need to consciously decide what they will stop doing, the obligations, distractions, and half-hearted commitments that quietly crowd out the work that actually matters. This isn’t framed as minimalism for its own sake; it’s framed as a necessary clearing, since a life spread too thin rarely has room left for genuine mastery. 

Cope walks through this idea in detail in Stephen Cope: Finding Your True Calling, where he suggests most people intuitively know what needs to go long before they’re willing to actually let it go, which is often the harder half of the work, requiring more courage than the initial act of choosing a direction ever did.

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Riding the Wave: Meeting Emotion Instead of Managing It

Cope also teaches a process he calls riding the wave, a way of leaning fully into emotional experience rather than suppressing or intellectualizing it. This practice connects directly to his broader dharma teaching, since he suggests that avoiding emotion often becomes exactly the static that drowns out a person’s clearer sense of calling. 

Learning to stay present with difficult feelings, in his framework, isn’t separate from finding purpose. It’s part of the same discipline. Cope draws this connection from years of observing that clients who avoid strong emotion tend to also stay vague about their life’s direction, as if the two avoidances share a common root, each reinforcing the other over time.

Becoming a Warrior for Your Own Gifts

Toward the end of this conversation, Cope and Tami discuss what it means to become a warrior in service of one’s calling, not a combative stance, but a willingness to bring one’s full skill to a world that genuinely needs it. This reframes purpose away from private fulfillment alone and toward something closer to responsibility, the sense that withholding a genuine gift has consequences beyond the person holding it back. Cope suggests this warrior stance requires a kind of courage rarely discussed in conventional purpose-finding advice, the courage to be seen fully practicing a gift before it feels polished or guaranteed to succeed.

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Final Thoughts

Stephen Cope doesn’t offer calling as something discovered once in a flash of clarity and never questioned again. It’s closer to a discipline requiring precision, subtraction, and an ongoing willingness to meet whatever emotion the path stirs up along the way. What makes his teaching endure, perhaps, is his refusal to romanticize the process; dharma, in his framework, demands real rigor, not simply good intentions. 

Sounds True continues sharing this conversation because helping people live their dharma more fully is, in many ways, exactly what waking up the world has always meant to us. If Cope’s teaching resonated, his books and eight-week course carry the work considerably further.

Frequently Asked Questions About Stephen Cope

Who is Stephen Cope?

He is a scholar emeritus at Kripalu and the bestselling author of The Wisdom of Yoga and The Great Work of Your Life.

What does Cope mean by dharma?

A precise alignment between a person’s innate gifts and the world’s genuine need for them.

What ancient text does Cope draw from most?

He draws heavily on the Bhagavad Gita, using Arjuna’s crisis as a template for finding purpose.

What is Your True Calling?

An eight-week online course Cope created with Sounds True focused on discovering one’s dharma.

Is riding the wave a therapy technique?

It’s a practice Cope teaches for staying present with emotion rather than suppressing or avoiding it.

Where can I listen to the full conversation?

The complete episode, “Stephen Cope: Finding Your True Calling,” is available on Sounds True.

Is this teaching only relevant to yoga practitioners?

No, Cope’s ideas on purpose and dharma apply broadly, regardless of any formal yoga background.

Does Sounds True offer other content by Stephen Cope?

Yes, Sounds True has published several of his books and courses on yoga, purpose, and psychological health.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

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