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It’s okay not to drink. In fact, it’s normal, a fact that many people tend to forget, especially around the holidays.
My husband, Pat, quit drinking thirty-three years ago, and he is not at all shy about telling people he’s in long-term recovery. Yet even close friends and relatives who know his story still try to foist alcohol on him.
At holiday parties, people insist him to try “at least a sip” because they brought the alcohol as a gift, or express incredulity at Pat’s description of himself as an alcoholic. “I never saw you drunk or out of control,” one woman once said, “so how could you be an alcoholic?”
Even at a New Year’s Eve party, another friend offered Pat a glass of champagne. When he replied, simply, “No, thanks,” this friend took the opportunity to extol the virtues of moderation.
Moderation may work for some but it does not work for Pat and an estimated 23 million people in this country who are in recovery from alcohol or other drug addiction — including our son Ben, who recently celebrated his tenth year of recovery. Alcohol works its poison slowly, but poison it is, in large and small amounts for those who are susceptible to its addictive effects – and for untold others who get caught up in the party spirit and overly imbibe.
During this holiday season when alcohol flows so freely at intimate family gatherings, holiday parties, and New Year’s Eve celebrations, here’s a short list of suggestions for hosts that will make life easier for non-drinkers and drinkers alike:
When someone says, “No thank you” to an offer of beer, wine, or spirits, don’t push, nudge, cajole, or question. Take no for an answer, point to the table containing the different beverages (be sure the non-alcoholic selections get equal space) and say, “We have a variety of non-alcoholic and alcoholic drinks, what can I get one for you?”
Nutritious, high protein snacks help control blood sugar, which can drop around party time (typically late afternoon) and trigger cravings. You don’t have to get fancy–try crackers and cheese; nuts or seeds (cashews, walnuts, almonds, peanuts, sunflower or pumpkin seeds); bruschetta with tomato and basil; or antipasto plates.
We always have a jigsaw puzzle going and people love to gather around and concentrate on something other than drinking and small talk (of course, drinkers are also welcome).
Remember: It’s okay not to drink. In fact, it’s “normal.” And for many millions of people, not drinking is in fact life-saving. I encourage you to try some of these tips this holiday season and throughout the year at any and every social gathering.
Looking for more great reads?
Excerpted from The Only LIfe I Could Save, by Katherine Ketcham
Katherine Ketcham has been writing nonfiction books for over 30 years and has coauthored 16 books—10 of which are on the subject of addiction and recovery. Her books have been published in 16 languages. Ketcham has led treatment and recovery efforts at the Walla Walla Juvenile Justice Center, and in 2002 she founded Trilogy Recovery Community. She lives in Washington State. Her newest book, The Only Life I Could Save, is being published by Sounds True and will be on available on April 1, 2018.
Welcome Dear Friend,
The Fall and Winter months are often noted for their long nights and cool temperatures. It is also a time for hibernation, hunkering down with loved ones and contemplation.
Restoration is our guide for the month of November! Restoration is defined as the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment. Just as dusk comes sooner these days, we also hope the light and warmth burn brightly.
November will be filled with weekly content on rest and renewal. Please check out our content guide for dates! We look forward to going on this adventure with you!
With love on the journey,
Your friends at Sounds True
How you feel about your body and how you relate with pleasure matters more than what you eat when it comes to successful, sustainable weight loss. With Pleasurable Weight Loss, Jena la Flamme brings you a comprehensive, life-changing approach that starts with your mind-helping you relax, build self-esteem, and develop a sense of joy and trust in your body.
Filled with inspiration, recipes, and practical guidance for women of all ages and body types, here is a powerful guide for transforming your relationship with food and exercise-a natural, enjoyable, and lasting path for looking and feeling your best.
Friends, we’re excited to release The One of Us, a new audio learning program with Adyashanti and Mukti on living from the heart of illumined relationship.
To be spiritually awake is to deeply feel your connection with the whole of life. The One of Us is an exploration of this sacred connection as it expresses through two human partners. In their first full-length audio-learning program, Adyashanti and Mukti present six sessions to help each of us—whether preparing for or currently in a relationship—to realize and honor this connection, to protect it, and to begin to move, speak, and act in alignment with the love that lives all of us.
A Relationship Based in Truth and Supported by Love
What if a successful relationship was not about getting needs met but allowing each other the freedom to be who you are? What if the sole agenda of a partnership were to offer the greatest expression of love in that moment? Drawing from their own marriage and their years of teaching, Adyashanti and Mukti share what they consider to be the foundational attitudes and skills for a relationship “based in truth and supported by love.” Together they discuss the shift from our conditioned, “me-centered” paradigm to a radically new way of relating not only to each other but to the entirety of our experience.
“Recognizing our connectedness of spirit—and becoming a living expression of that connectedness—that’s what The One of Us is all about,” explain Adyashanti and Mukti. Join them in these inspirational sessions to begin to bring forth the fullness of light and love that your partnership is waiting to unfold.
In your willingness to take the risk of love, to feel it all, to truly allow another to matter, and to expose yourself to the joy and heartbreak of this life, you come face to face with the most devastating fear that you’ve ever known, but have never been able to articulate: that you are loved.
For when you are truly loved, when you are entirely seen, when you are fully held, it is the end of your world as you know it. Things will never be the same. You will never again be able to pretend that you are other than precious and whole as you are. The implications of this are dizzying if you let them all the way in.
It is so exhilarating to be seen and held in this way, but it is also terrifying as you are fully naked now, utterly raw, and achingly wide open. Your life is no longer your own in a sense, and it has been given to your raw, shaky tenderness. This is your refuge now, the golden bridge through which you will connect with hearts everywhere. Give everything to know this bridge!
Even the soft spring breeze feels as if it might be too much, for it goes right through your skin to touch your heart. A sunrise, the longing of a little baby to be held, the spring wildflowers, the honey-infused ice coffee you just spilled on your laptop, the blue eyes of your sweet lover—you may never be protected again. Ah, that’s fine—it isn’t what you really wanted anyway.
The particles of love are interpenetrating your entire sensory world and you are just not sure your heart and nervous system can take it. Oh, friend, you are on the right track.
You are free to be who and what you are now—no longer tied to a past you thought you wanted, no longer bound by the limited and that which is less than whole—willing to risk it all for love, and free to be the fearless wildness that you are.
Gorgeous photography by Robert Maschke – https://www.robertmaschke.de/
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