Kelley Kosow: The Integrity Advantage

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November 7, 2017

Kelley Kosow: The Integrity Advantage

Kelley Kosow November 7, 2017

Kelley Kosow is a Certified Master Integrative Life Coach and the entrepreneur behind the popular Go Goddess!™ brand of books, games, and seminars. Today, she is the CEO of The Ford Institute. With Sounds True, she is publishing her first book, The Integrity Advantage: Step into Your Truth, Love Your Life, and Claim Your Magnificence. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Kelley speaks with Tami Simon about the definition of integrity: what it is, why it isn’t necessarily evenly spread across every aspect of one’s life, and how it arises from our greatest personal truth and vision. They also talk about Kelley’s journey from being focused on future outcomes to one of self-acceptance—a journey facilitated by her mentor, Debbie Ford, that required her to confront and integrate even those parts of herself she considered “negative.” Finally, Tami and Kelley discuss the legacy of Debbie Ford, her death, and why Kelley decided to take up her mentor’s mantle as an Integrative Life Coach. (59 minutes)

KELLEY KOSOW is a Master Integrative Coach, program and workshop leader, and CEO of The Ford Institute, a personal development organization that has helped tens of thousands worldwide. For more, visit kelleykosow.com.

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Don’t Let Integrity Snatchers Steal Your Joy

Because your internal meaning-making machine, colors your perception of your life and your very self, and can dictate your actions, non-action, and choices, you probably live with some constant companions. I call them Integrity Snatchers. Integrity Snatchers diminish your sense of self, and erodes your self-trust. They are not “bad” or “wrong.” They are not something to be gotten rid of since they are part of our humanity, and if you are human you won’t be able to get rid of them. But the important thing is to become aware of them. To understand that when left unattended, Integrity Snatchers will keep you from making the highest choices for yourself and going for the life of your dreams.

When you become aware of your Integrity Snatchers, you can remove them from their seat of power.

 

Integrity Snatcher #1: Shame

As humans, we are desperately afraid that the negative labels we have given ourselves are true. And thus, shame arises. We are paralyzed by the shame of believing that we are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. Our shame, which is generally birthed from some childhood event, teaches us to hide who we truly are because we fear that who we are is fundamentally flawed. Our shame leads us to believe that people won’t like us if they know who we truly are at our core. Our shame is what creates our external persona and robs us of authenticity.

Integrity Snatcher #2: Shadow

Our shame gives birth to our shadow. Our shadow is comprised of the parts of ourselves that we have so much shame around, that we disown. We judge ourselves so relentlessly, that we cannot fathom the possibility that our shadow aspects or unwanted characteristics live inside of us. How could I be weak, a doormat like my mother? A cheater or liar like my ex? Or mean and abusive like my father? Because our shadows are so distasteful or symbolize someone who hurt us deeply, we disown and detach from them. We vow to ourselves that we are not and never will be that! Our need to bury these parts of ourselves, and deny their existence, automatically wreaks havoc on our integrity. We cannot be whole and complete if we have lost access to the full spectrum of our traits and emotions. We cannot live in our truth if we are hiding the existence of all these parts of ourselves from ourselves and others.

Integrity Snatcher #3: Fear

Our shame, our belief that, “I am that…” gives birth to our shadow, our belief that “I don’t want to be that….” which gives birth to Integrity Snatcher #3— living in a constant state of fear.  We are afraid at every moment of our lives that someone might discover our faults and unworthiness! This coupled with that negative meaning loop that keeps playing in our minds paralyzes us. We view life through a lens of fear. Our fear permeates every area of our being. We have fears about ourselves: I’m not good enough, pretty enough, competent enough. We have fears about life: Life is unfair. Life is about struggle. We have fears about others: People will disappoint me. I can’t trust anyone. Everyone leaves. We have fears even about the “good stuff:” Love hurts. There is no such thing as happiness. Nothing lasts forever.

Integrity Snatcher #4: Your Story

Each of us has a story. We actually have many stories. They consist of all the thoughts, beliefs, internal dialogues, or fears that we have around any subject. For example, our story-lines can range from anything like I will never get what I want to what your fate will be based on your gender, color of your skin, level of education, or even your weight. Our stories stem from all the meaning-making that we set into motion as a child. We can also adopt the stories of the communities we grew up in or the people closest to us. Many of us take on the stories of our parents. They can become the narrative of the family that gets passed down from generation to generation, anchoring the family in a legacy of lack. Although these stories are not necessarily bad or good, they can be limiting.

Integrity Snatcher #5: Playing the Role of the Victim

Like Susan, when we are stuck in our stories we are generally cast in the role of the victim. But when we vow to live a life of integrity we commit to live a life of radical responsibility. We acknowledge that our life is in our hands. It is a demarcation point—a gift we give to ourselves. It means we take our power back. It means being responsible for our thoughts, beliefs, choices, behaviors, and for our deepest dreams and grandest desires. There is no sustained room for, “Oh, woe is me! Poor me! Forget about me! or You did this to me!”

Integrity Snatcher #6: Wanting

Wanting is the Integrity Snatcher I’m most vigilant about because any time I am in a place of wanting, I can slip and slide right out of my integrity. Especially when I think about the men in my life…wanting for him to be the one, wanting to make the relationship work, wanting to hold on and not let go, not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings…I can’t tell you how many times I stepped over my truth and out of my integrity in order to fuel the fantasy and turn the wanting into my reality.

Wanting comes from fear or lack. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we think we are missing something, so we yearn for the outside world to fill us up. It is our fear and our wounded and diminished sense of self, telling us that we don’t have something, and we need to get it. That need turns to desperation and the cliché is true—desperate people do desperate things. They ignore their truth, as well as all the warning signs. They buy into their own BS, and put themselves into scenarios that they often know won’t end well, but they can’t help themselves…they wanted it so badly.

Integrity Snatcher #7: People Who Empower Your Helplessness

Although integrity is an inside job, and not something others can give to or take away from us, we all are human. At some point we might want someone to take care of us, to assist us, to save us, or to handle a part of our life that we don’t feel confident in or enjoy. So, Integrity Snatcher #7 is like a warning sign—watch out for the people who empower your helplessness.

 

Looking for more great reads?

 

 

Excerpted from The Integrity Advantage by Kelley Kosow.

Kelley Kosow is a Master Integrative Coach, program and workshop leader, and CEO of The Ford Institute, a personal development organization that has helped tens of thousands worldwide. For more, visit kelleykosow.com.

 

 

Kelley Kosow: The Integrity Advantage

Kelley Kosow is a Certified Master Integrative Life Coach and the entrepreneur behind the popular Go Goddess!™ brand of books, games, and seminars. Today, she is the CEO of The Ford Institute. With Sounds True, she is publishing her first book, The Integrity Advantage: Step into Your Truth, Love Your Life, and Claim Your Magnificence. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Kelley speaks with Tami Simon about the definition of integrity: what it is, why it isn’t necessarily evenly spread across every aspect of one’s life, and how it arises from our greatest personal truth and vision. They also talk about Kelley’s journey from being focused on future outcomes to one of self-acceptance—a journey facilitated by her mentor, Debbie Ford, that required her to confront and integrate even those parts of herself she considered “negative.” Finally, Tami and Kelley discuss the legacy of Debbie Ford, her death, and why Kelley decided to take up her mentor’s mantle as an Integrative Life Coach. (59 minutes)

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Try These Mindfulness Exercises To Ground Yourself

Mindfulness is an ancient, deeply personal practice that invites you into the present moment with compassion and awareness. And yet, for many of us, simply “being present” can feel elusive. We’re managing careers, relationships, health, and the constant pull of digital life. It’s no wonder anxiety and stress have become everyday companions. Through regular, intentional practices, we begin to notice the quiet steadiness underneath the noise. That’s where grounding lives.

For over 40 years, Sounds True has been a trusted leader in spiritual education and personal transformation, sharing the wisdom of teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, Tara Brach, and many others. As the world’s largest “living library” of transformational teachings, we’ve helped millions of people reconnect with presence, purpose, and their inner wisdom through unscripted, heart-centered resources.

In this piece, we’ll explore a series of mindfulness exercises to support your return to presence, whether you’re seeking mindfulness exercises for anxiety, tools for teens and adults, or daily mindfulness exercises for stress relief. You’ll also find soulful practices like inner rhythm meditations woven throughout to help you tune into your natural flow.

Key Takeaways:

  • Learn Audience-Specific Practices: This article offers tailored mindfulness exercises for anxiety, adults, teens, and daily stress relief.
  • Find Practical and Accessible Tools: Readers will find easy-to-implement, non-intimidating exercises they can begin using right away.
  • Integrating These Exercises into Daily Life: Meditation exercises encourage integrating mindfulness into ordinary activities for long-term emotional grounding and resilience.

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Simple Mindfulness Exercises To Bring You Back To Center

Even the busiest mind can come back to stillness with a few moments of intention. These foundational mindfulness exercises are designed to be accessible, grounding, and easy to integrate into daily life.

Breathe For One Minute

This micro-practice is a gentle reminder that your breath is always available as an anchor. Set a timer for just 60 seconds. Sit or stand comfortably. Close your eyes if you’d like. Bring all of your awareness to the sensation of breathing, how the air enters and leaves your body, and how your chest rises and falls. Don’t change anything. Just notice. One minute of conscious breathing can create space between stimulus and response, making it a beautiful starting point for mindfulness exercises for anxiety or moments of stress.

Ground Through The Five Senses

When your thoughts are racing or your emotions feel overwhelming, coming back to your senses, literally, can reset your nervous system. To practice this, look around and quietly name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This kind of sensory awareness anchors your attention in the here and now, making it one of the most reliable mindfulness exercises for stress relief.

Notice Without Fixing

Mindfulness isn’t about making anything go away. It’s about seeing clearly. Try sitting in silence for a few minutes, simply noticing your thoughts, sensations, and emotions without trying to change or solve them. Let everything be as it is. This witnessing awareness is central to many mindfulness exercises for adults, a reminder that your worth isn’t based on productivity, performance, or emotional “control.” Instead, it’s grounded in the simple act of being present.

Mindfulness Exercises For Anxiety And Overwhelm

Anxiety often pulls us into the future, into what-ifs, worst-case scenarios, and mental loops that feel impossible to exit. Mindfulness brings us back to now. These exercises aren’t about eliminating anxiety, but about meeting it with gentleness, spaciousness, and embodied awareness.

Anchor To The Present With Touch

When anxiety feels like it’s spiraling, physical touch can be incredibly grounding. Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Feel the rise and fall of your breath beneath your hands. You don’t need to breathe in any special way, just notice the contact. This creates a direct, calming feedback loop that reminds the body it’s safe to soften. Practices like this are especially helpful when exploring mindfulness exercises for anxiety that are simple and body-centered.

Name What’s True In This Moment

A powerful way to interrupt anxious thoughts is to name what is real right now. Quietly say to yourself: “Right now, I am sitting on a chair. My feet are on the floor. I am breathing. I am safe.” You can add more statements based on your environment or sensations. This kind of mindful self-talk offers the brain a stable narrative to hold onto when anxiety is trying to pull you elsewhere. It’s a core part of how many people approach mindfulness exercises for stress relief as well.

Return To Ritual

When anxiety is chronic or persistent, creating small, daily routines can provide a sense of continuity. This might be lighting a candle before meditation, washing your hands slowly and with full attention, or taking a short mindful walk at the same time each day. These are quiet acts of devotion that bring structure to emotional chaos. For many adults, integrating mindfulness exercises helps create a sense of calm and inner order.

For a deeper experience of this rhythm-based approach, practices like inner rhythm meditations can support a more attuned, embodied return to presence.

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How Adults Can Use Mindfulness To Reconnect

Adulthood often brings a gradual disconnection from inner life. The constant push to do more, fix more, and be more can drown out the quiet voice within. Mindfulness gives adults a way to return, to presence, to embodiment, and to what matters most. It’s less about adding something new and more about softening into what’s already here.

Practices like breath tracking, gentle movement, or body scanning help rebuild that inner relationship. These mindfulness exercises for adults aren’t about achieving calm; they’re about creating space for honesty and self-awareness. Even simple routines like morning stillness or mindful transitions between tasks can foster deep reconnection.

Supporting Teens With Mindfulness Tools

Teenagers today are navigating an overwhelming mix of stimulation, pressure, and emotional intensity, often without the tools to process it all. Mindfulness can offer teens a way to slow down, feel what they’re feeling, and build emotional resilience from the inside out.

Unlike adults, teens often benefit from shorter, more tactile practices that meet them where they are. Movement-based mindfulness, breath-focused exercises, or even mindful listening with music can help create moments of pause without feeling forced or overly formal. These mindfulness exercises for teens aren’t about “fixing” behavior, but rather they’re about helping young people relate to themselves and their experiences with more kindness and awareness.

Meditation can also be incredibly empowering for teens to choose their own practice. Whether it’s a brief body scan before school or a silent check-in before sleep, creating space for autonomy makes mindfulness feel like a supportive resource rather than another rule to follow. Integrating accessible resources like inner rhythm meditations can also help teens begin to understand their emotional patterns and physical rhythms in a more grounded, compassionate way.

Daily Mindfulness Exercises for Stress Relief

Stress thrives on momentum. It builds, layer by layer, until we’re no longer responding to life; we’re reacting to it. Mindfulness breaks that cycle. Through small, intentional practices, we create pockets of stillness that allow the nervous system to reset and the body to soften.

Daily mindfulness exercises for stress relief don’t need to be elaborate. A few minutes of conscious breathing before checking your phone, taking a mindful walk after lunch, or simply pausing to feel your feet on the floor between meetings can shift your entire internal state. These moments act like pressure valves, gently releasing stored tension before it accumulates.

Repetition is key. The more frequently you return to yourself, the more familiar that calm becomes. Over time, the body begins to recognize presence as its home base, not stress. For those who feel especially drained or dysregulated, incorporating inner rhythm meditations can help guide you back to your body’s natural flow and restore balance from within.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stress job or simply feeling emotionally stretched, these simple yet consistent practices can anchor you in a steadier way of being and offer a meaningful alternative to burnout.

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Final Thoughts

More than something to master, mindfulness is something you remember as time goes on. A gentle return, over and over again, to the breath, the body, and the moment you’re living right now. These practices don’t promise a life free from stress or anxiety. Instead, they offer a way to meet life with more presence, compassion, and steadiness.

Whether you’re exploring mindfulness exercises for anxiety, integrating mindfulness into adult life, supporting a teen, or simply seeking stress relief, the power lies in consistency. Even the smallest pause, repeated with care, can rewire your relationship to the world around you, and within you. Above all, mindfulness is not a task to accomplish but rather it’s a path to walk, one breath at a time. Every time you return, you deepen your connection to yourself, and that is where healing begins.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Mindfulness Exercises

What are the core components of a mindfulness exercise?

A mindfulness exercise typically includes intention, focused attention (often on the breath, body, or senses), non-judgmental awareness, and a return to the present moment. These elements work together to train the mind in presence and compassion.

How long should I practice mindfulness each day?

Even 5–10 minutes daily can be effective. The key is consistency. Start small and gradually extend the time as it feels natural. Mindfulness is about presence, not perfection.

Are mindfulness exercises religious?

No. While mindfulness has roots in contemplative traditions like Buddhism, modern mindfulness practices are secular and adaptable to all belief systems.

Can mindfulness exercises help improve sleep?

Yes, practicing mindfulness before bed can help calm racing thoughts, ease physical tension, and prepare the nervous system for restful sleep.

Is it normal to feel distracted during mindfulness practice?

Absolutely. Distraction is part of the process. The goal isn’t to stop thoughts, but to notice when the mind wanders and gently bring it back to your point of focus.

How do I know if mindfulness is working?

Results are often subtle at first, like feeling slightly calmer, more aware, or less reactive. Over time, many notice improved emotional regulation and clarity.

Can children benefit from mindfulness exercises too?

Yes, children can benefit greatly from age-appropriate mindfulness tools, as these help them recognize emotions, improve focus, and develop emotional resilience early on.

What’s the difference between meditation and mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a way of being present in daily life, while meditation is a formal practice that often cultivates mindfulness. You can practice mindfulness without meditating.

Do I need to sit still to practice mindfulness?

Not at all. Walking, stretching, eating, and even washing dishes can all become mindfulness exercises when done with full attention and presence.

Can mindfulness help with physical pain?

Yes, mindfulness can change your relationship to pain by reducing resistance, softening tension, and increasing awareness without judgment. It doesn’t eliminate pain, but can make it more manageable.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

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Listen in as they discuss the epidemic of chronic pain and the power of mindfulness to ease suffering of all kinds, the myth of the “good meditator,” the body as the starting point for practice, exploring your “emotionally freighted thoughts,” our longing to be who we really are, working with the mind and learning to inhabit a space of embodied awareness, the refuge that is meditation practice, letting go of our stories, befriending the sensory field of what we call pain, the miracle of life on Earth, the Buddha’s teaching on mindfulness as the direct path to liberation, surfing the waves of your own experience, unity within diversity and the arising of compassion, focusing on what’s right instead of what’s wrong, how we are all on a growth curve on life’s journey, and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listeners of Insights At The Edge get 10% off their first month at

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