When we heard Osho Zenju Earthlyn Manuel share her story of a terrifying night she couldn’t breathe, it was eerily similar to a personal experience—and helpful too. We knew we had to share this moment from her conversation with Tami Simon on Insights at the Edge, in which she tells the story of the night she nearly died from a severe anaphylactic reaction and how she got through it not by searching for light at the end of the tunnel, but by staying present with the darkness itself. 

Zenju, a poet and ordained Zen Buddhist priest, challenges the instinct most of us have to fear darkness, rush out of it, or wait for a gift on the other side. Instead, she describes an experience of profound non-struggle — a moment of near-death where she wasn’t afraid, didn’t fight, and somehow found a way to keep breathing by trusting her body completely.

Key themes from this episode:

• Why darkness — and even light — may be far more unknown and unknowable than we assume
• How struggling against a frightening experience can make it worse, while staying present with it can be transformative
• A firsthand account of surviving a full-blown anaphylactic shock without fear
• Rethinking our cultural instinct to rush ourselves and others out of difficult emotional or physical states
• Why “the absence of light” might be less about despair and more about a different kind of awakening

Taken from the full Insights at the Edge conversation with Zenju Earthlyn Manuel “Opening to Darkness,” which is also the title of her book. Find the complete interview in this feed or at soundstrue.com.

This episode is sponsored by Omega Institute, a global gathering hub for lifelong learning and spiritual exploration. Omega offers weekend workshops, special events, rest and rejuvenation retreats, professional training, online learning, and more. Discover what calls to you at eomega.org/true.

Darkness is an inseparable part of life. Yet instead of resisting it or trying to eradicate it, as society would often have us do, how can we use darkness as fodder for our growth and evolution? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with poet, Zen Buddhist priest, and artist Zenju Earthlyn Manuel about her new book, Opening to Darkness: Eight Gateways for Being with the Absence of Light in Unsettling Times, and how we can begin to change the way we relate to darkness and blackness. 

We invite you to turn off the lights and close your eyes (assuming you’re not driving), as you listen to this insightful and provocative conversation exploring “zenju,” or complete tenderness; our longing for light and the call to “enter our caves”; the connection between the bias toward light and the oppression of Black-bodied people; the evolutionary force of blackness; creativity and darkness; the notion of “the absence of light”; the price we pay by avoiding darkness at all costs; how we can’t really know but can only experience light or darkness; the teacher of darkness called death, and the willingness to look at something beyond our control; the inner capacities to stay with darkness; recognizing the spiritual component to darkness; building an intuition and going beyond what is taught and learned about darkness and blackness; being with suffering; silence and darkness; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.