Permission to Grieve
My sister thinks I am not choosing happiness, and bad things happen to all of us, but we don't all go around sulking. According to her, I just need to choose to be happy. Now I love my sister a lot, but I have always disagreed about her on this topic. Perhaps we both had a similar childhood and maybe we both had difficult journeys, but I am the type to keep wanting to learn about emotions and facing them and processing them. She says she gives herself permission for 5 minutes a day but then wants to enjoy the rest of the day. I like that she can do that and she has chosen what works for her, but I must admit I have found that I have felt guilty about not being able to be like that. M Devine in this book tells me that everyone feels grief differently and it is perfectly ok to live with grief on our terms. We do not have to 'get over it', 'come through stronger better or wiser'.
There are no stages of grieving- you can grieve your whole life if you need to. However, we do have tools that help us live with our grief. This is what I loved about the book. Devine doesn't tell us go to a corner and sit there your whole life. She gives us realistic tools that do make our lives a little easier. I especially loved the chapter on art- this helps me because I am the kind of person who has always gone toa rt and books and writing to feel joy and feel human.
Some of the book was repetitive but I think she did that to reinforce the message that it really is ok that you are not feeling ok.…