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Valerie Gangas: In Deep Shift

When our lives are unexpectedly overturned, how do we regain our footing and make something new and better of ourselves? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with author Valerie Gangas about her book, In Deep Shift: Riding the Waves of Change to Find Peace, Fulfillment, and Freedom, an empowering guide to help us navigate those times when life turns upside down and inside out. Give a listen as they talk about spontaneous awakenings and spiritual “emergencies,” the connection between deep despair and deep shifts, spiritual sensitivity and how to stay grounded, the power of complete surrender, the practice of transcendental meditation, “opposite land” and the discovery that nothing is at is seems, out-of-body experiences versus embodied presence, cultivating your intuition, manifestation and listening for that which wants to be created through you, removing the distractions on the path to living your purpose, and more.

Fierce Intimacy

Terry Real is a family therapist, author, and founder of the Relational Life Institute, which hosts workshops on family and relationships throughout the country. He has written several books, including The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work. With Sounds True, he is the creator of Fierce Intimacy, an audio training in essential communication skills for couples. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks to Terry about the inherent challenges of being in relationship and the many approaches to addressing those challenges in couples therapy. Terry discusses how men and women relate to one another in different ways, as well as the steps necessary when couples are badly out of sync. Finally, Terry and Tami speak on the Relational Life approach to therapy and the skills we need to develop in order to take our interpersonal relationships up to “full throttle.”

A Love Letter to Friendships . . . And How to Break Up...

Erin Falconer is an author, digital entrepreneur, and the editor-in-chief and co-owner of PickTheBrain, one of the most trusted self-improvement communities online. She was named “one of the top digital entrepreneurs in Los Angeles” by Los Angeles Confidential and one of the “Top 10 Women Changing the Digital Landscape for Good” by Refinery29. She has a master’s degree in clinical psychology and is the author of the books, How to Get Sh*t Done: Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything and, with Sounds True, How to Break Up with Your Friends: Finding Meaning, Connection, and Boundaries in Modern Friendships.

In this podcast, Sounds True’s founder, Tami Simon, speaks with Erin Falconer about the unique power of our personal friendships and how we can work to improve them—or let them go if necessary. Tami and Erin also discuss: opening to our inner guidance and the voice of truth within, why taking 100 percent responsibility for our lives leads to 100 percent freedom, taking an audit of your friendships—including what Erin calls “exposing the mediocrity,” self-knowledge and personal energy management, bringing clearer intentionality and deeper commitment to our friendships, difficult conversations and applying the concept of “rupture and repair” to relationships with friends, making amends in previous friendships, Erin’s “friendship questionnaire,” and much more.

E55: From Psychology to Spirituality: Transcending the...

Psychology focuses on understanding and managing the mind’s learned patterns, emotional struggles, and conditioned behaviors. Spirituality is about transcending these mental and emotional constructs to center on the consciousness which is aware of them. From this seat of witness consciousness, you can actually watch the mind create a false concept of self that is based on your past experiences. This false self leads to suffering unless the world matches how you think it should be. True spirituality involves realizing yourself as the conscious observer and learning to embrace life’s experiences as a gift from Creation. You can learn to free yourself from suffering and achieve a state of peace, love, and self-realization.

For more information, go to michaelsingerpodcast.com.

© Sounds True Inc. Episodes: © 2025 Michael A. Singer. All Rights Reserved.

The Trauma-Trigger Cycle

When you are stuck with old unprocessed experiences living inside you, they can create what I call a trauma-trigger cycle because they are still very much alive in our systems.

Here’s my analogy to help you understand how this works and why it causes so much trouble. Imagine that you have a very difficult experience, for example, having to say goodbye to a sick pet. All of the details in the form of individual feelings, smells, images, sounds, and more get bundled up and deposited into a metaphorical glass trauma capsule—which gets stored in the body. It sits there with all of the old feelings we experienced at the time the event happened. While you might not be aware of it constantly, you are likely feeling those emotions at a low level all the time. When any current situation reminds you of any of those details hanging out in the capsule—either consciously or subconsciously—the old trauma gets “poked,” or reactivated. This is how we get triggered. Being triggered can bring up flashes of those memories, including images, feelings, and any sensory stimuli.

For the most part, except in certain cases of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from major life events, where sometimes the trigger is known, this trauma-trigger reaction actually happens at a subconscious level, outside of your awareness. Even in obvious situations, you may think you know what the trigger is, and try to avoid it, but it may be something totally different that got stuck in the metaphorical glass trauma capsule. Often, people come to me and say, “Nothing set this off,” “I’m depressed for no reason,” or “I suddenly started feeling terrible but nothing happened.” While this may seem true, I can bet on the fact that while the bad feelings might seem random, they are being triggered in some way that you simply haven’t yet identified. Triggers can be foods, colors, smells,sounds, weather, or anything, really! Finding and resolving triggers can become almost an entertaining game if you let it.

As you can imagine, this entire trauma-trigger dynamic is very unsettling and unpredictable—which can feel like danger to your system and keep you stuck in that freakout response. Not only that, but in this state, you can actually be excessively tuned in to your trauma, seeing reminders of it everywhere, which further traumatizes you.

I had an experience after going through a loved one’s difficult health crisis where every single place I looked, I saw reminders of the experience. And for someone who wonders if everything is some greater “sign from the Universe” (fact: not every single thing is) or my intuition is trying to get my attention because another loved one might be in danger (second fact: trauma and fear clouds intuition), it felt like torture to me. I kept meeting people who had the same illness that my loved one had had, saw posters and billboards advertising medications for the condition, and more. As a distraction while on vacation, I had deliberately picked out several seemingly lighthearted books to take—and it turned out a character in every single book had that same medical condition! I was constantly on edge and further traumatized by all of these things. This is a perfect example of what happens to us in a traumatized state: we become highly attuned to the world around us, perhaps subconsciously scanning for danger, but in the process, we see and get triggered by everyday things we’ve probably passed by a million times before. I realized that had I been tuned in to any other single thing out in the world, like peaches, I likely would have seen that everywhere. This recognition actually led to a funny mantra I used during that time to keep things light while I did the deeper healing work: Look for the peaches! But in all seriousness, what happened as I worked to release the trauma, just like you’ll be doing in this chapter, was that I stopped seeing reminders of it. I have to be honest in that this took months of using energy therapy in different ways to overcome the trauma I had experienced, like you’ll be learning soon—but it worked. Did all the people with this condition go away? Did all the billboards get taken down? No. The less traumatized I became, the less heightened my sensitivity to it was. This is a perfect example of why it’s essential to work with unprocessed experiences.

Emotional memory is stored throughout the entire body. Thanks to the work of Candace Pert, we know that “unexpressed emotions from experiences can get stuck in the body at the level of cellular memory.” This is such a simple explanation for why we feel bad when we haven’t resolved our past experiences. We are still quite literally feeling them. And even if it’s at a subtle level, it may only take a “trigger” from that metaphorical glass capsule to awaken it.

While your own unprocessed experiences may not disrupt your life in the way that clinically diagnosed PTSD does, you may relate to what it feels like to have PTSD, when one or a few memories from life takes over all of it. This is, again, why we must deal effectively and consistently with our emotions instead of suppressing them. Otherwise, we are at risk of our emotions becoming part of future unresolved experiences.

Even knowing all of this, there’s no need to panic. Again, not all experiences traumatize you. And, not all traumas will need to be dealt with in order to get you feeling better. But the ones that do need careful attention. I want you to understand that by working with trauma, we are not trying to force a positive perspective on it or make you be okay with something bad that happened to you. Not at all. What we want to do is release the stress it’s causing you, even if that stress is undetected consciously. We don’t want these traumas taking up space and energy in your body anymore or triggering you without your knowledge.

Working with unprocessed experiences will help empty the metaphorical glass trauma capsule so we stop becoming triggered by the world around us. In other words, you’ll be seeing peaches more easily instead of trauma triggers.

This is an excerpt from How to Heal Yourself From Depression When No One Else Can: A Self-Guided Program to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t by Amy B. Scher.

 

amy b scherAmy B. Scher is an energy therapist, expert in mind-body healing, and the bestselling author of How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can and How to Heal Yourself from Anxiety When No One Else Can. She has been featured in the Times of India, CNN, HuffPost, CBS, the Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, the Los Angeles Review of Books, Curve magazine, and San Francisco Book Review. Scher was also named one of the Advocate’s “40 Under 40.” She lives in New York City. For more, visit amybscher.com.

 

 

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S3 New Year’s Bonus: Every Day Gets Lighter When...

What do you plan to do with your “next lap around our star”?

Nearly everyone, Michael Singer observes, will do the same thing they do every other year of their lives: try to get what they want and avoid what they don’t want. And they’ll be just as unhappy.

Why do we do this? Can’t we liberate ourselves from this no-win situation? Here, Michael shines an optimistic light on the New Year.

For more information, go to michaelsingerpodcast.com.
© Sounds True Inc. Episodes: © 2024 Michael A. Singer. All Rights Reserved.

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