Category: Self-Compassion

Father Greg Boyle: What Working with Gang Members Taug...

Father Greg Boyle’s life and work offer one of the most grounded understandings of compassion available today. Through decades of walking alongside gang members in Los Angeles, he has come to see compassion as something practiced through closeness, listening, and shared humanity. This conversation explores how those relationships reshaped his understanding of belonging, dignity, and what truly stands at the heart of being with others.

At Sounds True, we are dedicated to sharing voices that speak from lived experience and deep inner wisdom. For more than four decades, we have published teachings, conversations, and practices that support personal transformation and collective healing. Our work centers on amplifying perspectives that invite reflection, connection, and meaningful change.

Here, we explore what Father Greg Boyle learned about compassion through his work with gang members, and how those lessons continue to inform conversations around belonging, accompaniment, and human dignity.

Key Takeaways:

  • From Fixing to Feeling: Father Greg Boyle reframes compassion entirely. Presence, not problem-solving, is where real connection takes root.
  • Lessons from the Margins: Decades of walking alongside gang members revealed something most of us already sense but rarely practice: shared humanity lives in every story, not just the comfortable ones.
  • Belonging Is Not Earned: Boundless compassion shows up in community through inclusion, accompaniment, and the radical choice to stay close even when closeness is hard.

Father Greg Boyle on Compassion: Closer Than You Think

Father Greg Boyle’s work challenges the most familiar ideas about compassion. Through decades of presence among those pushed to the margins, he has come to understand compassion as a way of standing with others rather than a response to their circumstances. 

In this conversation, compassion emerges through proximity, patience, and a willingness to remain present without needing resolution. Boyle’s perspective is shaped by lived experience rather than theory, formed through daily encounters that demand humility and attention.

The Early Relationships That Changed Everything

Father Greg Boyle’s understanding of compassion took shape during his early ministry in Los Angeles, where he began working closely with gang members whose lives were shaped by violence, instability, and loss. Instead of approaching them as people in need of fixing, he learned to listen. These early relationships revealed how judgment creates distance, while presence builds trust. Compassion, in this context, began with hearing stories fully and without conditions.

Compassion as a Way of Seeing, Not Fixing

Boyle often describes compassion as a shift in perception. It is less about intervention and more about recognition. Seeing people clearly, without reducing them to their worst moments, becomes an act of solidarity. For those ready to deepen this practice, the Radical Compassion Challenge offers structured guidance for moving from understanding compassion intellectually to living it daily. Compassion becomes a way of seeing shared humanity rather than measuring difference.

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Radical Compassion Learned Through Working with Gang Members

Working alongside gang members taught Father Greg Boyle that radical compassion must reach beyond comfort or familiarity. Closeness is asked of us precisely where distance feels safer. The instinct to protect oneself through judgment gets gently, persistently challenged. 

Radical compassion asks for a deeper engagement with pain, resilience, and shared dignity. And this form of compassion is anything but abstract. Practiced daily through relationships built on trust, consistency, and humility, it becomes a way of life.

Releasing Judgment and the Need to Control

Boyle reflects on how judgment often disguises itself as moral clarity. In his work, he learned that judgment creates separation, while compassion restores connection. Letting go of control means releasing the need to manage outcomes or define who deserves care. This inner shift is explored in depth in The Power of Self-Compassion, where compassion begins by softening the harsh narratives we hold about ourselves and others. Radical compassion starts with restraint, choosing presence over evaluation.

What Gang Members Reveal About Being Human

Through his close relationships with gang members, Boyle witnessed how suffering narrows lives while love expands them. These encounters reveal that pain is universal, even when circumstances differ widely. Gang members are expressions of humanity, not exceptions to it. Radical compassion emerges when stories replace stereotypes and when people are given room to be more than the hardest chapters of their lives.

Boundless Compassion and the Practice of Belonging

Boundless compassion expands the circle of care until exclusion loses its foothold. In Father Greg Boyle’s work, belonging is never something earned through behavior or progress. When offered freely, it challenges systems built on scarcity and punishment, replacing them with relationships grounded in dignity and trust. Boundless compassion becomes a way of shaping community through inclusion rather than fear.

Building Communities Where Everyone Belongs

At the heart of belonging is the belief that people flourish when they are seen and valued. Creating that kind of community requires learning to communicate across differences with honesty and care — skills developed through the Nonviolent Communication Online Training Course, where language becomes a bridge rather than a barrier. Communities rooted in belonging allow people to show up as they are, without the pressure to perform or prove worthiness.

Why Boundless Compassion Refuses Exclusion

Boundless compassion refuses the logic of “us and them.” Exclusion deepens harm and isolates those already carrying so much. By resisting separation, compassion becomes an act of justice. Healing happens through connection, and boundless compassion holds firmly to the belief that no one stands beyond care or concern.

Homeboy Industries and a New Model of Compassion

Homeboy Industries stands as a living expression of Father Greg Boyle’s understanding of compassion. Rather than centering on punishment or reform, the organization places dignity, healing, and employment at the core of long-term personal renewal. Practical support and emotional restoration exist side by side across diverse backgrounds and life experiences. Compassion, in this model, is extended consistently, even when progress is uneven or slow.

The work of Homeboy Industries reflects a commitment to inner transformation alongside external change. For those seeking to bring that same awareness into their own lives, Waking Up in the World offers teachings that bridge personal practice with engaged presence in community. By tending to the inner lives of those it serves, Homeboy Industries demonstrates how compassion can be structured, sustained, and shared without hierarchy.

Transformative Compassion and the Power of Accompaniment

Transformative compassion, as Father Greg Boyle describes, is rooted in accompaniment. The focus shifts away from directing change and toward walking alongside others with patience and respect. Accompaniment becomes a shared experience rather than a solution handed down from a comfortable distance.

  • Accompaniment begins by choosing presence over advice, allowing relationships to unfold without pressure. This means sitting with someone in uncertainty rather than rushing toward resolution. The absence of an agenda becomes its own gift.
  • Transformative compassion removes hierarchy, meeting people as equals rather than as projects. The person offering care is shaped just as much as the person receiving it. No one holds all the answers, and that shared vulnerability opens something real.
  • Healing is understood as nonlinear, unfolding at its own pace without imposed timelines. Progress may look like a quiet conversation, a returned smile, or simply showing up again after a hard week. Every small moment carries weight.
  • Accompaniment invites mutual transformation, where both people in the relationship are changed. Boyle has spoken openly about how gang members taught him things about resilience, humor, and faith that no classroom ever could.
  • Compassion is practiced through consistency, showing up even when progress is invisible. Reliability over time builds the kind of trust that changes lives. People notice who stays.
  • Trust develops through proximity, shared vulnerability, and sustained attention. Being truly present with another person, again and again, is one of the most radical things anyone can offer.

Through accompaniment, compassion becomes active and relational. Remaining close through uncertainty, honoring the dignity of every person involved, becomes the whole point.

Awaken Your Inner Healing Power With Breathwork, Body Awareness, and More

What Father Greg Boyle’s Radical Compassion Teaches Us

Father Greg Boyle’s understanding of radical compassion reshapes common ideas about helping and change. Rather than measuring success through outcomes or transformation, his work emphasizes fidelity, presence, and the willingness to remain in relationship over time. Radical compassion does not depend on progress or improvement. Dignity, as Boyle sees it, is inherent and never earned.

Through years of accompanying those who have experienced exclusion and loss, Boyle learned that compassion begins with proximity. Choosing closeness over distance disrupts the narratives that reduce people to their mistakes. Listening becomes more important than offering solutions, and patience replaces the urge to control outcomes. In that space, people are allowed to be seen fully, without pressure to become someone else.

Radical compassion also reframes how we understand failure. Setbacks, relapse, and struggle are not reasons to withdraw care. They are part of the human experience. Boyle’s approach teaches that consistency matters more than results, and that trust grows when care remains steady even during uncertainty. Compassion, in this sense, is an act of faith in people rather than a response to improvement.

What emerges from Boyle’s teaching is a call to live differently with one another. Radical compassion asks for humility, endurance, and openness. A vision of compassion grounded in shared humanity and sustained presence becomes not just a practice but a way of being.

Living Compassion as a Daily Practice

Compassion, as reflected in Father Greg Boyle’s work, is not reserved for extraordinary moments or specific roles. Practiced in ordinary interactions through attention, restraint, and consistency, compassion lives in the everyday. Living compassion daily means noticing how quickly judgment arises and choosing instead to respond with curiosity and care.

This practice often shows up in small ways. Listening without interrupting, remaining present during discomfort, and offering patience when progress feels slow all become expressions of compassion. These choices shape relationships over time, creating space for trust and connection to grow naturally.

Living compassion also requires self-awareness. Extending care to others is sustained by the ability to meet one’s own limitations with honesty and kindness. The Radical Compassion Challenge provides a practical entry point for building this daily rhythm — turning intention into consistent, grounded action. In this way, compassion becomes a rhythm of daily life, expressed through how we speak, listen, and show up for one another.

Begin Your Daily Practice: Find Power in Daily Meditation Practices

Final Thoughts

Father Greg Boyle’s reflections invite a quieter, more grounded understanding of compassion, one rooted in closeness rather than certainty. His work shows that compassion is sustained through attention, patience, and the willingness to remain present with others as they are. Agreement, progress, and resolution are not required.

What emerges from this conversation is a view of compassion as relational and lived. Compassion takes shape through daily choices to listen, to accompany, and to refuse the narratives that divide people into categories of value. Less about what we offer and more about how we stand with one another, compassion becomes one of the most quietly powerful practices available to all of us.

Frequently Asked Questions About Father Greg Boyle

Who is Father Greg Boyle?

Father Greg Boyle is a Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries, an organization known for its long-standing commitment to community healing and inclusion. He has spent decades walking alongside individuals affected by gang involvement in the Los Angeles area.

What is this podcast episode about?

The episode centers on Father Greg Boyle’s reflections on compassion, drawn from decades of work alongside gang members in Los Angeles. Boyle shares how those relationships reshaped his understanding of dignity, belonging, and what genuine care actually looks like in practice.

Why is Father Greg Boyle’s perspective on compassion unique?

His understanding comes from lived relationships rather than theory, shaped by daily proximity to resilience and hope. Rather than speaking about compassion in the abstract, Boyle brings it to life through the real stories and real people he has accompanied over the years.

Does the episode focus on religion or spirituality?

Spiritual themes appear throughout the conversation, though the discussion speaks broadly to human connection, dignity, and belonging rather than religious doctrine. Listeners from many backgrounds will find something relevant and resonant here.

How does working with gang members influence Boyle’s teachings?

These relationships revealed how compassion grows through listening, patience, and refusing to reduce people to their past actions. The lessons Boyle learned on the ground directly shaped his understanding of what it means to truly show up for another person.

Is this podcast relevant for listeners outside social work or ministry?

Absolutely. The insights translate naturally to everyday relationships, workplaces, families, and communities. Anyone curious about practicing deeper compassion in their own life will find this conversation worthwhile.

What role does Homeboy Industries play in the discussion?

Homeboy Industries serves as a real-world example of compassion expressed through structure, support, and long-term commitment. The organization shows how the values Boyle describes can be built into systems.

What makes this conversation timely?

The episode speaks to widespread questions about division, belonging, and how compassion can be practiced in challenging contexts. In a time when many people feel disconnected, Boyle’s grounded, human-centered perspective feels more relevant than ever.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

Kristin Neff & Caverly Morgan: Self-Compassion as...

Can the simple act of being kind to yourself actually be a doorway to awakening?

In this special episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon brings together two remarkable teachers whose friendship has sparked a revolutionary approach to inner transformation. Kristin Neff—the researcher who first measured self-compassion and author of Fierce Self-Compassion—joins Caverly Morgan, a meditation teacher and former Zen monk, to explore how self-compassion practices can become what they call “a lifeboat” to our deepest nature.

Together, they reveal why self-compassion isn’t just a psychological tool for feeling better—it’s a direct path to recognizing who we really are beyond our limited sense of self.

In this interview, Tami, Kristin, and Caverly explore:

  • Why every moment of self-compassion is a moment of “letting go of identification with the small, separate, limited self”
  • The difference between witnessing awareness and embodied loving awareness—and why it matters
  • How gender conditioning shapes our relationship to both compassion and awakening practices
  • The power of “relational dharma” and why we sometimes need another person to help us access self-compassion
  • A guided practice for moving from suffering into the “stance-less stance” of presence

If you’ve practiced self-compassion but sensed there’s something deeper available, or if awakening teachings have felt too abstract or disembodied, this conversation offers a bridge between heart and awareness that could transform your practice.

This conversation offers genuine transmission—not just concepts about awakening, but the palpable presence of realized teachers exploring the growing edge of spiritual understanding together. Originally aired on Sounds True One.

[ENCORE EPISODE] Anne Lamott: Radical Self-Care Change...

**SPECIAL ENCORE PRESENTATION IN SUPPORT OF WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY**

Anne Lamott is the celebrated author of many books of fiction, essays, and memoirs. Her works include Bird by Bird, Hallelujah Anyway, and Crooked Little Heart. In this special edition of Insights at the Edge originally recorded for The Self-Acceptance Summit, Tami Simon speaks with Anne about acts of “radical self-care” and how they are essential for anyone’s well-being. Anne talks about self-acceptance as an inherently feminist concept, especially around issues of body image and self-esteem. Finally, Anne and Tami discuss how it is necessary to fully accept oneself before being able to show up for others, and why modern society often argues the opposite.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listeners of Insights At The Edge get 10% off their first month at www.betterhelp.com/soundstrue.

Take Your Inner Child on Playdates

Have you ever been ice-skating before? It sounds like a fun winter activity (especially if you enjoy the cold, like I do), but it can be frustrating and even downright scary if you’re new to it.

Picture this: I took my nephew ice-skating for the first time, full of excitement to see him experience some joy. At twelve years of age, he was already taller than me and had size thirteen feet thanks to his six-foot-eight-inch-tall dad (my brother). The biggest rental skates they had came with worn-out laces rather than the secure plastic bindings all of the other skates had. I could see that they were a little loose around the ankle, but we tied them as best we could and hit the ice.

If you’ve ever seen a newborn deer figuring out how to walk for the first time, you can picture my nephew’s first time on ice skates. His ankles kept knocking in, and he was reaching to hold onto anything for dear life as he wobbled around the perimeter of the rink. It was difficult to watch, not because it was embarrassing, but because I know how hard he is on himself when he’s not immediately good at new things. I wanted to see him having fun, and instead I saw him frustrated and discouraged as all he could do was attempt to remain vertical.

I figured it couldn’t get worse, so I suggested that we trade in his skates for a smaller pair with the more secure plastic buckles to see if that made any difference. He went along with it, probably just to humor me, and we stuffed his feet into some size twelves and made sure his ankle support was good as could be. When I tell you it was a night and day difference, I’m not exaggerating. Suddenly he was speeding around the ice like a pro, lapping past me and his sisters with the biggest smile on his face. He circled the rink over and over again; as his confidence grew, so did his joy, and he even began to try tricks and spins. All he had needed was one little adjustment to his foundation, and he suddenly felt safe enough to have fun.

Here’s the thing: most of us go around in our lives on rickety old skates with worn-out laces. When your only focus is doing your best to remain upright, there’s not much room for joy or play. The big shame in that is that play often is the medicine we most need.

In my experience, the crux of inner child work is reconnecting to the part of you who knows how to play. Sometimes you may first need to make some adjustments that allow you to feel safe enough to play, like practicing nervous system regulation and self-soothing. Once you’ve done that, though, your goal is to invite in as much play as possible. And not adult versions of play that are really just a facade for dissociative behaviors, but real, childlike wonder.

Invite in curiosity and awe and silliness and uninhibited joy. Start by returning to the things you loved to do when you were a kid. Maybe that means setting aside time each weekend for arts and crafts. Maybe it means participating in physical activities that feel like play, such as dancing, swimming, sports, or jumping on a trampoline. Maybe it just means giving yourself permission to skip while you walk or sing while you drive.

The point is, when you bring those younger versions of you into your present-day life, you not only have more fun, but you also experience more healing. We were never meant to lose touch with our inner child. Yes, it’s important to learn how to be self-sufficient and responsible, and aging is inevitable. But it’s equally important not to take yourself too seriously along the way.

Try This

Your homework is to set regular playdates with your inner child. Do things that sound like fun, even if they don’t make logical sense. Allow yourself to be as carefree and openhearted as possible, without judging the things that bring you joy. The sillier it feels, the more on point you likely are. Here are some examples to consider:

  • Take an afternoon off of work and go to an amusement park.
  • Schedule an evening of watching your favorite childhood movies.
  • Spend the weekend out in nature, frolicking with your imagination.
  • Try something brand new, like rock climbing or ice-skating, to tap into that feeling of beginner’s mind.

Play is an important part of our overall well-being. Consistently making time to get into that creative flow state will help you deepen your relationship with your inner child . . . and your adult self. I suggest checking in at least once per month, if not weekly, to see where you can fit more play into your life.

Excerpted from Choose Your Self: How to Embrace Being Single, Heal Core Wounds, and Build a Life You Love.

Megan Sherer


Megan Sherer is a certified somatic therapist and licensed hypnotherapist whose mission is to help others build healthy and fulfilling relationships, starting with self. She hosts the Well, Then podcast and founded the women’s therapy app The Self Care Space. For more, visit megansherer.com.

Choose Your Self

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Helping Kids Feel Confident in the Spotlight

Dear Sounds True friends,

Have you ever been in the spotlight?
The excitement, the lights, and…
…ALL EYES ON YOU (Gulp!)

While some athletes, speakers, and performers bask in the glow, it can be scary for most others. I happen to be one of these “others,” complete with sweaty palms, a racing heart, and a blank mind!

These big feelings inspired me to write All Eyes on You, a story that helps kids overcome performance anxiety when they find themselves the center of attention, such as on stage, in a classroom, or on the baseball field.

I share tried-and-true tips for dealing with these moments (such as breathing exercises and counting to slow down your racing heart) while also having fun (like picturing the audience in their underwear) to help boost confidence and be present in the moment.

It also makes an excellent tool for helping others calm the butterfly stampede in their stomachs and feel a sense of camaraderie that they are not alone in their stage fright.

So when the stage calls (or the front of the classroom or home plate), take a deep breath and give these tips a try. You just might surprise yourself—and those around you!

Break a leg,

Susi Schaefer
Author & Illustrator

P.S. I invite you to download free coloring sheets from the book to also enjoy with the little ones in your life!

Susi Schaefer

Susi Schaefer trained as a classical glass painter in Austria before moving to the United States and studying graphic design. She is the illustrator of Zoo Zen and Good Morning, I Love You, Violet! as well as the author-illustrator of other picture books for children. For more, visit susischaefer.com.

A Message of Gratitude

Dear Sounds True friend,

At this time of thanks-giving, I want to thank you, a beloved member of our extended Sounds True community of listeners, readers, authors, and learners worldwide.

Thank you for your interest and willingness to be an explorer of your inner world.

Thank you for your perseverance, your willingness to be here, with all of life’s great joys and terrible griefs and sorrows. Thank you for being ”on the journey,” with all of the ways life breaks open our hearts and asks us to expand and hold a larger space of love.

Thank you for your courage to be you, beloved and singular, the you that carries a unique gift, some special look, a cry and a laugh never heard before, a contribution we need. Thank you for being yourself and extending yourself to others, even in small ways, which often turn out to be huge.

My own prayer this Thanksgiving is to remain steadfast and true. Please know that here at Sounds True we remain so—and we love doing so in connection with you. We are here because you are here. This thanks-giving, I bow to the strength and goodness of our human hearts.

With you on the journey,

Tami

P.S. Here is a thanks-giving offering, a classic poem from Mary Oliver:

Praying

It doesn’t have to be
the blue iris, it could be 
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few 
small stones; just 
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don’t try
to make them elaborate, this isn’t 
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence, in which 
another voice may speak.

Mary Oliver, Thirst

Tami Simon