Mara Bishop

Mara Bishop is a shamanic practitioner, intuitive consultant, teacher, author, and artist. In private practice, she uses her Personal Evolution Counseling™ method to provide an integrated approach to spiritual healing, personal growth, and emotional well-being. Her books Shamanism for Every Day: 365 Journeys and Inner Divinity: Crafting Your Life with Sacred Intelligence are resource guides for spiritual practice. She resides in Durham, North Carolina. For more, visit wholespirit.com.

Author photo © Sarah Jane Kenner

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Are You Suffering from Empathic Distress? How to Recla...

Are you exhausted, anxious, or overwhelmed? Maybe your life is challenging. Or perhaps the state of the world and others’ suffering feels unbearable. If your life is going well, but you still feel miserable, maybe you have some guilt or shame. You are not alone. You may be suffering from empathic distress.

Most of us have been taught that empathy is wholly positive and should be fostered in children and revered in adults. This idea is partly correct. The absence of empathy is clearly problematic. When the ability to sense or care about others’ feelings or pain is missing, we edge into sociopathy. However, empathy is experiencing another person’s pain as our own. In small doses and for short periods, it allows us a deeper understanding of our fellow beings. But it can also make it harder to help, because the pain is spread around, not diminished. If your friend breaks their leg and you experience genuine empathy, it might feel like your leg is broken too. This makes it harder for you to function and definitely harder for you to help them.

Empathy can make us sick, overwhelmed, and burned out.

Many people feel helpless in the face of the magnitude of suffering in the world today. It can result in what appears to be apathy at first but is actually empathic distress, which means “hurting for others while feeling unable to help.” An op-ed in the New York Times titled “That Numbness You’re Feeling? There’s a Word for It” described this phenomenon and cited some of the research I used to create the Sounds True audio course Shining Bright Without Burning Out: Spiritual Tools for Creating Healthy Energetic Boundaries in an Overconnected World.

The Research

Neuroscientists Olga Klimecki and Tania Singer identified empathy as a contributing factor to burnout, primarily but not exclusively, among healthcare workers and therapists. The older term compassion fatigue is a “misnomer.” Compassion and empathy have distinctly different impacts on our bodies and psyches. Compassion is witnessing and being willing to help when possible and appropriate. Empathy is taking on others’ pain as our own. Empathy often creates “more distress.” It is a huge distinction.

Empathy is overrated and fatiguing. Compassion is what we need. Unfortunately, we often confuse the two. This dynamic is one reason why developing healthy energetic boundaries is essential.

Decreasing Empathic Distress

Being unable to adjust between compassion and empathy is a big reason many people feel drained and overwhelmed. Research about the critical difference between compassion and empathy aligns with many spiritual concepts of energetic boundaries. It also challenges some. One of the ways we inadvertently make things difficult for ourselves is when we believe that to be good, kind, “spiritual” people, we must always be wide open. We must be at one with the universe, be open to everyone, and say yes to everything. There is a paradox here. We are all one on some level, but we need to embrace the ability to differentiate ourselves from others at times to steward our own health.

We have reached a tipping point with empathic distress; it is a crisis within the crises.

Klimecki and Singer focus on how training in compassion meditation can help reduce empathic distress, shifting from an experience of absorbing others’ energy to a state of kindness toward others with clear self-differentiation. The distinction between empathy and compassion is one of the first things we cover in Shining Bright Without Burning Out: Spiritual Tools for Creating Healthy Energetic Boundaries in an Overconnected World. The course also includes a full set of tools for addressing empathic distress from the perspective of energetic boundaries.

Here are a few additional steps you can take today to begin reducing empathic distress:

  1. Be clear about your direct responsibilities and what is not yours.
  2. Pause before entering new situations: conversations, appointments with clients, meetings, etc. Take a moment to reset yourself with a breath and an intention for how you want to engage.
  3. Pay attention to how you feel after interactions with people, places, and media. Note over time when your mood or body feels drained so that you can prepare more thoroughly in the future, consider how to minimize those interactions if they are optional, and take time to reset after engaging.

 

Mara Bishop

Mara Bishop is a shamanic practitioner, intuitive consultant, teacher, author, and artist. In private practice, she uses her Personal Evolution Counseling™ method to provide an integrated approach to spiritual healing, personal growth, and emotional well-being. Her books Shamanism for Every Day: 365 Journeys and Inner Divinity: Crafting Your Life with Sacred Intelligence are resource guides for spiritual practice. She resides in Durham, North Carolina. For more, visit wholespirit.com.


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Sounds True

Shining Bright Without Burning Out

Mara Bishop is a shamanic practitioner, intuitive consultant, teacher, author, and artist. In private practice, she uses her Personal Evolution Counseling™ method to provide an integrated approach to spiritual healing, personal growth, and emotional well-being. She is the author of the books Shamanism for Every Day: 365 Journeys and Inner Divinity: Crafting Your Life with Sacred Intelligence, and, with Sounds True, she is the author of the audio learning program Shining Bright Without Burning Out: Spiritual Tools for Creating Healthy Energetic Boundaries in an Overconnected World. 

In this podcast, Mara speaks with Sounds True’s founder, Tami Simon, about how in today’s world we can learn to value our sensitivity instead of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Mara and Tami also discuss shamanism as a path of direct revelation, accessing non-ordinary consciousness for insight and healing, the three phases of creating healthy energetic boundaries, the difference between “just plain stress” and burnout, discovering your energy personality archetypes, understanding your energy ecosystems and how they interact, working on yourself and bringing light to the shadow aspects of your personality, the difference between compassion and empathy, energetic cleansing methods, the paradox of “one and all one,” Mara’s concept of “powering on” to amplify and shine our inner light, how our world has become “overconnected” and how to avoid the burnout this can create, the shamanic practitioner as someone who can “see through the eyes of the heart,” and more.

How to Bloom in the Dark: Self-Compassion, Compost, an...

Compassion is the magic ingredient that turns our personal “compost” into personal evolution.

 Some time ago, I found a strange bloom in the kitchen. It was elegantly twisted, like a dragon at a Chinese New Year celebration. It was frilled, purple, and pungent. This exquisite thing grew out of a chunk of purple cabbage that I’d put under the sink to go out for compost. Instead of fading quietly however, it burst into new life in the dark grotto of my cabinetry. It blossomed into something unexpected, unusual, and fiercely beautiful.

Reflecting on the discovery of this “flower” in the shadows, I’m reminded of, and heartened by, the fertility of dark times. Many people are feeling a collective spiritual darkness now, exhausted and frustrated, maybe also angry and scared. Having compassion for ourselves and others is especially important in times of literal and metaphorical darkness. How can we do this if we already feel overloaded?

Nature is our ultimate model and guide—in the light, in the dark, and in the most surprising and gorgeous ways. Cue the weird, glorious cabbage flower which came to life in the dark. What was being shown there?

There is the clear compost metaphor. Compost is the stuff we reject, the moldy, wilted, too hard, too soft, nasty bits that don’t make it to the table. It’s also the leftovers from delicious things we appreciate and enjoy, silky mango skins, green tea leaves, dark coffee grounds.

It all transforms into a rich sloop that eventually nourishes future plants. Our personal work includes processing our own “dark” sides, the parts we’d like to hide or discard. Self-compassion (and compassion for others) holds both the rejected and respected parts of who we are. Like composting, it isn’t always pretty, but it’s potent. Research shows self-compassion helps us stay present and kindhearted without sinking into absorptive empathy, which can lead to overload and burnout. This meditation is part of the toolkit in the audio course Shining Bright Without Burning Out.

The cycles of the natural world, into which we are interwoven, take time. It’s hard to be patient, to let everything, both scorned and enjoyed, stew in our symbolic personal compost piles. The speed with which that brew changes from nasty to nourishing varies widely with the internal and external conditions. Sometimes all those different elements take a long time to dissolve and break down. Sometimes it turns around faster than we think possible, like time-lapse photography of a log rotting on the forest floor with new green shoots springing to life overnight. Compassion is the magic ingredient that turns our personal “compost” into personal evolution.

The dark supports transformation. Times of literal darkness are needed for regeneration. Roots, seeds, and bulbs prepare. People and animals sleep. Times of symbolic darkness are also helpful. In darkness, transformative processes happen without spectators, often below the level of our conscious awareness. These are periods of catharsis, healing after trauma, cocooning in preparation for the next version of ourselves and our world.

We sometimes feel hopeless and helpless in the dark. Our society avoids sinking into it. Instead, we gravitate towards purveyors of easy “love and light!” spirituality, shying away from the deep, gooey work that happens to the larval versions of ourselves (and those around us) when we’re in the darkness of the cocoon. Self-compassion is most needed when we’re a mess.

The dark is a vital part of the wheel of our days, our years, our lifetimes. We need it to survive and be healthy in the long term. So, let’s embrace it, explore it, and be gentle with ourselves as we confront our fear of it. From this darkness we are nourished to bloom into the light.

@ 2021 Mara Bishop MA

Order Shining Bright Without Burning Out now! 

Mara Bishop has
over 25 years of experience helping people find spiritual health and
well-being. Her Personal Evolution Counseling™ method blends shamanism,
psychology, intuition, energy healing, and nature-based practices. She
lives in Durham, NC with a beloved family of people, animals, and
plants.

More information about Mara is at www.WholeSpirit.com

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The Point of Insight | Our Medicine Lives in the Wound


What if the very thing that wounded you is the source of the medicine you’re here to give?

In this month’s Point of Insight, Tami Simon shares a personal story: minutes before going live with an archetypal astrologer, she was told—correctly, and within seconds—that she carried “the mother of all mother wounds.” That single moment became the culmination of a much longer, gradual unfolding: a lifetime’s worth of “drops,” from a mentor she called the Queen of the Reframe, to an interview with yoga teacher and activist Seane Corn titled “Your Pain Is Your Purpose,” to an email from a business coach whose four simple words reframed everything—your karma is your dharma.

Join Tami as she reflects on:

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Bayo Akomolafe: Let Us Make Sanctuary

Bayo Akomolafe invites us to consider what can happen when urgency gives way to slowing down and healing. His conversation with Tami Simon reflects on sanctuary, grief, ancestry, and finding different ways to meet times of change.

At Sounds True, spiritual wisdom and transformational teachings have been shared since 1985, connecting seekers with respected teachers through books, audio, courses, events, and podcasts.

In this piece, Bayo Akomolafe: Let Us Make Sanctuary and its reflections on sanctuary, slowing down and healing, grief, and ancestry will be discussed.

Key Takeaways:

  • Sanctuary: Learn how Akomolafe frames sanctuary as a space for reconsidering our relationships with change, grief, and uncertainty.
  • Ancestry: Consider how ancestral relationships and Yoruba-influenced practices contribute to Akomolafe’s reflections on connection and belonging.
  • Spiritual Inquiry: Understand how contemplation, activism, historical trauma, and social change intersect throughout the conversation.

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Making Sanctuary in Times of Change

Born in Nigeria and shaped by Yoruba teachings as well as Western academia, Bayo Akomolafe brings an unconventional perspective to questions of crisis and social change.

In our conversation, Bayo Akomolafe: Let Us Make Sanctuary, he speaks with Tami Simon about sanctuary as a place where slowing down and healing can happen. Their discussion moves through ancestry, grief, trauma, spiritual contemplation, and the crossroads at which familiar ways of responding may no longer be sufficient.

What Let Us Make Sanctuary Means

Sanctuary, as it emerges in this conversation, is closely connected to the practice of slowing down. Akomolafe challenges the idea that a pause simply helps us recover enough energy to keep moving in the same direction.

Instead, slowing down can create space for deeper inquiry. It gives us an opportunity to question where we are going, what has shaped that direction, and what other possibilities might become visible when forward movement is no longer our only priority.

Slowing Down and Healing in Difficult Times

Urgent circumstances often create pressure to respond immediately. Akomolafe offers another possibility: slowing down and healing can become part of how we meet a crisis rather than something postponed until the crisis has passed.

This kind of slowing asks for attention. It makes room for questions that can be difficult to hear amid constant movement and gives us time to reconsider the paths we have inherited.

Let Us Make Sanctuary Through Slowing Down and Healing

Akomolafe also draws attention to our relationships with those who came before us. The conversation considers the African spiritual practice of pouring drink to the earth as an expression of indebtedness to ancestors and to everything that makes life possible.

From this perspective, sanctuary is relational. Slowing down and healing can involve remembering the connections that hold us and recognizing that our lives do not exist independently of the people, histories, and living world around us.

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Finding New Possibilities Through Slowing Down and Healing

The image of standing at a crossroads runs through Akomolafe’s reflections. He suggests that the ground beneath familiar assumptions is shifting, creating conditions in which what once went unsaid may become possible to speak and understand.

Slowing down gives us time to remain with that uncertainty. Rather than rushing toward a familiar answer, we can pay attention to what a changing landscape might reveal.

Bayo Akomolafe on How We Make Sanctuary

Grief also has a meaningful place in Akomolafe’s understanding of sanctuary. His conversation with Simon considers grief in relation to activism, along with the possibility of approaching sites of historical trauma as places for spiritual contemplation and renewed connection with loss and tragedy.

To make sanctuary, then, can mean creating room to stay present with experiences we might otherwise hurry past. Akomolafe’s invitation asks us to consider what becomes possible when we slow down enough to listen, grieve, question our direction, and encounter the world from another place.

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Final Thoughts

Bayo Akomolafe’s invitation to make sanctuary encourages us to reconsider our relationship with urgency, grief, and change. Through slowing down and healing, we can create space to listen more deeply, honor our connections, and remain open to possibilities that may emerge when we pause.

Frequently Asked Questions About Bayo Akomolafe: Let Us Make Sanctuary

Who is Bayo Akomolafe?

Bayo Akomolafe is a thinker, writer, speaker, and trained clinical psychologist whose work engages questions of social change, spirituality, community, and the ways people respond to challenging circumstances.

Who speaks with Bayo Akomolafe in Let Us Make Sanctuary?

Bayo Akomolafe speaks with Sounds True founder Tami Simon. Their conversation brings his ideas into a reflective exchange centered on sanctuary, change, grief, and spiritual inquiry.

What traditions influence Bayo Akomolafe’s perspective?

Akomolafe’s perspective is informed in part by Yoruba teachings and his Nigerian background, alongside his experience with Western academic thought. These influences contribute to his distinctive approach to spirituality and social questions.

What role does ancestry play in Bayo Akomolafe’s teachings?

Ancestry provides a way to consider our relationship with those who came before us. Akomolafe speaks about practices that acknowledge indebtedness to ancestors and the many relationships that make our lives possible.

How does Bayo Akomolafe connect spirituality and activism?

Akomolafe considers how spiritual contemplation can inform our relationship with activism. Rather than treating inner reflection and collective concerns as entirely separate, his perspective creates room for them to meet.

Why does Bayo Akomolafe discuss historical trauma?

Historical trauma offers an opportunity to consider how places marked by suffering might be approached differently. Akomolafe reflects on visiting such sites as spaces for contemplation and engagement with histories of loss.

What is the significance of the crossroads in Akomolafe’s thinking?

The crossroads represents a place where established directions may become uncertain and different possibilities can emerge. It provides a useful image for considering periods of cultural and personal transition.

How does Let Us Make Sanctuary approach interconnectedness?

The conversation recognizes that individual lives are shaped by relationships, histories, ancestors, communities, and the living world. This perspective invites a broader understanding of how people belong to one another and their surroundings.

Is Let Us Make Sanctuary intended only for experienced spiritual practitioners?

No. The conversation can speak to both longtime spiritual seekers and people who are newly curious about contemplative ideas. Sounds True shares teachings in an accessible, heart-led way for people at different points in their learning journeys.

Where can I listen to Bayo Akomolafe: Let Us Make Sanctuary?

You can listen to the full Bayo Akomolafe: Let Us Make Sanctuary podcast conversation through Sounds True.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.