Matt Licata is a practicing psychotherapist, a co-facilitator of a monthly online membership community called Befriending Yourself, and the author of The Path Is Everywhere. With Sounds True, he has written a new book titled, A Healing Space: Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Matt about what it is to be a healing space, that is to hold space for ourselves and others, as well as how we can feel held by something greater than ourselves during challenging experiences. They also explore our inner wounds and self-abandonment, spiritual bypassing and the ways in which many practices allow us to gloss over the real healing needed, and how coming into an embodied state can open us to greater inner depths. Finally, Tami and Matt discuss becoming an alchemist of your own life, discovering the inner gold that each of us has within, and befriending all of ourselves.
Dr. John Welwood is a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and practicing student of Buddhism and Eastern contemplative psychology. Dr. Welwood is an author whose books include Journey of the Heart and Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. With Sounds True, he has created the audio learning program Conscious Relationships. In this episode, Tami Simon speaks with Dr. Welwood about his understanding of the relationship between psychological work and the spiritual journey, as well as his view of the phenomenon of “spiritual bypassing.” He also talks about committed relationships and the most common issue that couples present in joint therapy. (60 minutes)
Sometime last year, I was having a conversation with a close relative of mine. I had sent them a recent news story I was quoted in and had been met with… silence. Eventually, I nudged a little bit and they responded, saying “I’m sorry, I just can’t be proud of someone who talks about sex and sex toys for a living. It’s embarrassing.” As we unpacked this statement, it became clear that they were unable to see the good—any good—in my work. As a therapist, as a writer, as an educator… my work was shameful in their eyes. In that moment, I understood my clients in a way I never had before.
With Sprinkles on Top was already finished by the time this occurred, but if it hadn’t? This conversation would have inspired me to write it. It can be incredibly painful to have someone you love tell you that “What you do is wrong. Who you are is not OK.” Many kinky people are afraid that if they share their innermost selves with the ones they love most, they too will be rejected, written off as broken or creepy or wrong. I wrote Sprinkles because I believe deeply that every single human being deserves to feel loved and worthy and whole, to know that their innermost desires are not just valid but beautiful, and to find others who can celebrate this beauty and their relationships together with them.
Sprinkles is also written for the partners of these kinky people, many of whom tell me that, if their spouse had just been willing to share their desires, they would have happily explored with them. For the spouses who don’t understand the fantasies or intimate practices they’re learning about and who need a guide to help them navigate these new relationship waters. For the men and women who call my office afraid—afraid that there’s something wrong with their partner or something inadequate in themselves.
They want me to “fix” them. I want to celebrate them.
With Sprinkles on Top is not a “how to” book. It’s a “what now?” book. My goal is to celebrate the things that make each person and each relationship unique and delightful—and to help them discover new unique qualities in themselves and new ways to delight one another. I want to celebrate vanilla relationship values while also normalizing and affirming kinky identities. I want to help my readers find new and exciting ways to enhance their own core sexual and relational “flavor” through interactive activities they do by themselves and with their partner.
Differences in desire represent an exciting opportunity to strengthen and reinforce the bonds of intimacy and trust we have created within our relationships, while also expanding the erotic playground we enjoy together. We don’t have to change who we are. We don’t have to be ashamed of what we want or embarrassed to talk about it. Sexuality, desire, and intimacy are, to me, sacred gifts. I’m honored to be able to help my readers, my clients, and others to build happier, healthier relationships with their bodies, their partners, and themselves. I hope you enjoy the process of finding your sprinkles and using them to communicate, explore, and connect with the one(s) you love.
Kol Tuv,
Stefani Goerlich
Stefani Goerlich, PhD, LMSW-Clinical, LISW, LCSW, CST, is a certified sex therapist and master social worker who specializes in working with gender, sexuality, and relationships. She is a sought-after clinical supervisor, media consultant, and conference presenter who has appeared in media ranging from CNN and the Washington Post to Cosmopolitan and Teen Vogue. She is the award-winning author of the professional books The Leather Couch and Kink-Affirming Practice.
In this podcast, Sounds True’s founder, Tami Simon, speaks with “The Iceman,” Wim Hof, about how we can each shine the light of our souls brighter and brighter, for the good of all beings. Tune in as they discuss getting out of our comfort zones to activate the body’s natural healing abilities; how we can begin to control the body’s autonomic nervous system to release trauma, boost energy, and do things we never thought possible for ourselves; the three pillars of the Wim Hof Method—cold exposure, breathwork, and the power of the mind; the metaphor of the Crown and the king/queen in each one of us; accessing the depths of peace and stillness; planting the seed of the impact we want to make in the world; finding our empowerment at this particular time we’re in; and more.
Sandra Ingerman is an internationally renowned shamanic teacher and the author of many books. Her published works include The Book of Ceremony, Walking in Light, and Awakening to the Spirit World. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami speaks with Sandra about the upcoming online course Healing with Spiritual Light: The Shamanic Power of Transfiguration to Heal Ourselves, Each Other, and the Earth. Specifically, Sandra comments on transfiguration as a spiritual practice, highlighting how it can be a portal to both physical and environmental healing. Tami and Sandra talk about the inherently transforming power of light, as well as some of the scientific evidence around transfiguration. Finally, Sandra emphasizes the imperative to engage with transfiguration in the face of climate change and considers the future shape of human culture. (66 minutes)
Join Sounds True’s founder, Tami Simon, in this compassionate podcast with Dr. Sherry Walling about her new book, Touching Two Worlds, as they discuss navigating the duality that exists on the opposite spectrums of our lives, the healing practice of writing about our experiences of grief, overcoming the stigma and silence around suicide, the just-world hypothesis and how traumatic events change our view, accepting limitations in life while taking responsibility for finding our own sense of meaning, accessing a sense of calm and grace to release the unresolved shock of grief, finding closure versus finding the place “where grief lands with love,” and more.
