Holiday Help for Those in Grief

    —
December 6, 2017

There is no doubt that the holiday season adds an extra measure of pain to people already bearing more than they can, more than they should ever have to. Death, illness, massive life events — they all sour the season in ways those outside your loss can’t understand.

Whether you’ve always loved the holidays or avoided them as best you could, the first several seasons after a death or massive life event are always difficult. So many people want to make this a “good” holiday for you, but first and foremost, you need to understand what is best for yourself during this rough time. Understand how to find a comforting place through all the chaos:

 

Say no a lot. Really. Other people will tell you you should say yes to things, get out more, be social. But if “being social” gives you the hives, why on earth would you do that? Remember that “no” is a complete sentence. You can say “no, thank you” if you must say more.

Choose your gatherings. If you do choose to attend something holiday-ish, choose wisely. Sometimes a big crowd is easier than a small one because you can slip out un-noticed as you need to. While a small gathering might have been most comfortable in your life instead.

Find ways to be alone-together with others. Musical offerings, candlelight meditations or services — check those little local newspapers and see what’s going on in your community.

Volunteer. If you are feeling stressed by family obligations, choose this as a good opportunity to get some space and serve others who may need some lifting up too.

Have a plan. Before you go to a party or an event, be sure to make your exit plan clear — with yourself. Give yourself an out, whether that is a specific time limit or an emotional cue that lets you know it’s time to go.

Check in with yourself. This is true not just for events and gatherings but for every single moment of life. Take just a minute to take a breath, one good inhale and exhale, and ask yourself how you’re doing. Ask yourself what you need in that moment.

Leave whenever you want. Stop whatever you’re doing whenever you want. Please remember that this is your life. You do not have to do anything that feels bad or wrong or horrifying. Even if you agreed to participate in something, you can change your mind at any time.

 

The holidays are going to hurt, my friend. That is just reality. Whether you are missing someone who should be part of the festivities or someone who shared your love of quiet winter evenings over raucous partying, this season will add some to your grief.

Companion yourself. Care for yourself. Listen. Reach out where it feels good to reach, curl in when that is what you need. Make this season as much of a comfort to you as you can. And when it is not a comfort, know we’re here. All of us who are grieving over someone we lost: We get you. We understand.

 

Looking for more great reads?

 

 

Excerpted from It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine.

Megan Devine holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology. Through her many articles and speaking engagements, she has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief therapy. She recently released her first book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand. She lives in Portland, Oregon.

Megan Devine

Megan Devine, LPC, is an author, speaker, and grief consultant, advocating for emotional change on a cultural level. Since the loss of her partner in 2009, Megan has become the leading voice in the world of grief support. Her video “How Do You Help a Grieving Friend?” has over 24 million views. Her book It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand is considered required reading by grievers and professionals alike. For more, visit refugeingrief.com.

Author photo © Anna Caitlin Photography

Also By Author

Megan Devine: Acknowledging Our Grief and Carrying Wha...

When we suffer a serious loss, we come face-to-face with the fragile nature of this world. Yet in today’s culture, we often try to avoid or deny the deep emotions associated with losing the people and things we love. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with therapist and grief consultant Megan Devine about her uniquely helpful books with Sounds True, It’s OK That You’re Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed

Tune in for a much-needed conversation on the best ways to tend one another’s pain during periods of loss, as Tami and Megan discuss: the cover-up narrative that “bad things help us grow”; the roots of today’s grief phobia; pain vs suffering; grief without a story; the healing power of acknowledgment; tolerating feelings of helplessness; the impulse to fix things; the weaponization of acceptance; time and the notion of complicated grief; the dangers of pathologizing grief; the lost opportunity to reframe grief during the pandemic; naming the awkward instead of silencing yourself; offering concrete assistance rather than an open offer to help; three kinds of hope: transactional, functional, and inhabitable; speaking our truth and allowing others the same; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Tips for the Rally Team: How to Support Someone in The...

Header Image Tips for the Rally Team: Supporting Someone in Their Grief Sounds True Blog

Tip #1: Claiming your discomfort allows you to show up and be present. From the griever’s perspective, it’s a huge relief to be around those who are willing to be uncomfortable and show up anyway.

If you aren’t sure you should say something—ask. Err on the side of being present. Your effort really is noticed and appreciated.

Tip #2: Don’t be a cheerleader. When things are dark, it’s OK to be dark. Not every corner needs the bright light of encouragement. In a similar vein, don’t encourage someone to have gratitude for the good things that still exist. Good things and horrible things occupy the same space; they don’t cancel each other out.

Do mirror their reality back to them. When they say, “This entirely sucks,” say, “Yes, it does.” It’s amazing how much that helps.

Tip #3: Don’t talk about “later.” When someone you love is in pain, it’s tempting to talk about how great things are going to be for them in the future. Right now, that future is irrelevant. Stay in the present moment, or if the person is talking about the past, join them there. Allow them to choose.

Tip #4: In all things, not just in grief, it’s important to get consent before giving advice or offering strategies. Ask the person whom you’re supporting, “Are you wanting empathy or a strategy right now?” Respect their answer.

Tip #5: Lean in and hang back. Respond to your friend, be curious and responsive to their needs. At the same time, don’t ask the grieving person to do more work. Observe how things are landing for them, but in those early days, please don’t expect—or demand—that they show up with their normal emotional-relational skills. They do not have them. Asking the grieving person to educate you on how best to help is simply not something they can do.

Excerpted from It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine.

 

Megan Devine Tips for the Rally Team: Supporting Someone in Their Grief Sounds True Blog

Megan Devine is a writer, speaker, and advocate for emotional change on a cultural level. She holds a master’s in counseling psychology. Since the tragic loss of her partner in 2009, Megan has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief support. Her contributions via her site Refuge in Grief have helped create sanctuary for those in pain and encouragement for those who want to help. For more, visit refugeingrief.com.

 

 

 

 

It's Ok That You're Not Ok - Tips for the Rally Team: Supporting Someone in Their Grief Sounds True Blog

 

Buy your copy of It’s OK That You’re Not OK at your favorite bookseller!

Sounds True | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indiebound

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pinterest Tips for the Rally Team (3)

Holiday Help for Those in Grief

There is no doubt that the holiday season adds an extra measure of pain to people already bearing more than they can, more than they should ever have to. Death, illness, massive life events — they all sour the season in ways those outside your loss can’t understand.

Whether you’ve always loved the holidays or avoided them as best you could, the first several seasons after a death or massive life event are always difficult. So many people want to make this a “good” holiday for you, but first and foremost, you need to understand what is best for yourself during this rough time. Understand how to find a comforting place through all the chaos:

 

Say no a lot. Really. Other people will tell you you should say yes to things, get out more, be social. But if “being social” gives you the hives, why on earth would you do that? Remember that “no” is a complete sentence. You can say “no, thank you” if you must say more.

Choose your gatherings. If you do choose to attend something holiday-ish, choose wisely. Sometimes a big crowd is easier than a small one because you can slip out un-noticed as you need to. While a small gathering might have been most comfortable in your life instead.

Find ways to be alone-together with others. Musical offerings, candlelight meditations or services — check those little local newspapers and see what’s going on in your community.

Volunteer. If you are feeling stressed by family obligations, choose this as a good opportunity to get some space and serve others who may need some lifting up too.

Have a plan. Before you go to a party or an event, be sure to make your exit plan clear — with yourself. Give yourself an out, whether that is a specific time limit or an emotional cue that lets you know it’s time to go.

Check in with yourself. This is true not just for events and gatherings but for every single moment of life. Take just a minute to take a breath, one good inhale and exhale, and ask yourself how you’re doing. Ask yourself what you need in that moment.

Leave whenever you want. Stop whatever you’re doing whenever you want. Please remember that this is your life. You do not have to do anything that feels bad or wrong or horrifying. Even if you agreed to participate in something, you can change your mind at any time.

 

The holidays are going to hurt, my friend. That is just reality. Whether you are missing someone who should be part of the festivities or someone who shared your love of quiet winter evenings over raucous partying, this season will add some to your grief.

Companion yourself. Care for yourself. Listen. Reach out where it feels good to reach, curl in when that is what you need. Make this season as much of a comfort to you as you can. And when it is not a comfort, know we’re here. All of us who are grieving over someone we lost: We get you. We understand.

 

Looking for more great reads?

 

 

Excerpted from It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine.

Megan Devine holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology. Through her many articles and speaking engagements, she has emerged as a bold new voice in the world of grief therapy. She recently released her first book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand. She lives in Portland, Oregon.

You Might Also Enjoy

Jasper Young Bear: “Prophecies for This Time: Wh...


Something is shifting in the world—and the Indigenous peoples of Turtle Island have seen it coming for generations.

This week, Tami Simon speaks with Jasper Young Bear—wisdom keeper, storyteller, founder of the Medicine Lodge Confederacy, and member of the Mandan, Hidatsa, and Arikara Nation—about the sacred oral teachings he was entrusted to carry, and why he has chosen this urgent moment to share them with the world. Jasper is the featured teacher in a new medicine film and four-part audio series, The Creation Story, available to watch and listen to for free at thecreationstory.co.

Join Tami and Jasper to explore:

  • The Seventh Generation prophecy—and why we are living inside its fulfillment right now
  • The Prophecy of the Eagle and the Condor, and what the reunification of North and South means for the human family
  • Why the greatest preparation for coming change is spiritual and emotional—not physical
  • The sacred laws woven into Indigenous creation stories, and what whole-to-part perception makes possible
  • The importance of forgiving the unforgivable—and how it opens the frequency of true freedom
  • Ceremony as living technology: sweat lodges, sacred instruments, and star knowledge as tools of consciousness
  • Why Jasper believes love—not systems, not ideology—is ultimately what will heal the human family

This interview is unlike most. Tami listens more than she asks. And what Jasper Young Bear offers is truly a transmission: a vision of where we are, where we’re headed, and what each of us can do to become a worthy ancestor for the generations yet to come.

Watch and listen to The Creation Story for free at thecreationstory.co.

This conversation offers genuine transmission—not just concepts about awakening, but the palpable presence of realized teachers exploring the growing edge of spiritual understanding together. Originally aired on Sounds True One.

Andrew Holecek: Stop, Drop, and Be Held in the Dark


What if the most transformative place you could go isn’t a retreat center or a therapist’s office—but complete and total darkness?

This week, Tami Simon speaks with Andrew Holecek—interdisciplinary scholar, longtime practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism, and author of the new Sounds True book Total Eclipse of the Mind: Unleashing the Power of Darkness for Creativity, Healing, and Transformation—about the practice of dark retreat: full immersion in sealed, lightless environments used by yogis for centuries to accelerate inner transformation.

Holecek calls it the single most transformative practice of his fifty years of meditation, psychedelic exploration, and three-year Tibetan retreat—and in this interview, he explains why.

Join Tami and Andrew to explore:

  • What actually happens to the mind in extended darkness—and the neurological science behind why it’s so transformative
  • The descent of the mind through conscious, subconscious, and collective unconscious layers—and what waits at the bottom
  • Dark retreat as a “sober psychedelic”: how the brain generates its own endogenous DMT in extended darkness
  • The practice of enantiodromia—when extreme contraction suddenly flips into extraordinary openness
  • How to work with panic, trauma, and unwanted experience using the “reverse meditation” principle: feel it, but don’t feed it
  • Why appearances don’t matter in the dark—and why so many people emerge in tears, feeling safe and held for the first time
  • The four-step process for integrating darkness into daily life, from sleep masks to dedicated dark rooms

This interview was recorded with both Tami and Andrew wearing blackout masks—making it one of the most immersive listening experiences in Insights at the Edge history.

Listen now and discover what’s been waiting in the dark. →

This conversation offers genuine transmission—not just concepts about awakening, but the palpable presence of realized teachers exploring the growing edge of spiritual understanding together. Originally aired on Sounds True One.

This episode is sponsored by Omega Institute, a global gathering hub for lifelong learning and spiritual exploration. Located in upstate New York’s beautiful Hudson Valley, Omega offers weekend workshops, special events, rest and rejuvenation retreats, professional trainings, online learning, and more. Discover what calls to you at eomega.org/true.

Serene older woman in nature with hand on heart

What does it mean to listen to the soul when it feels most exposed? In Marion Woodman’s teachings, moments of vulnerability are not interruptions but invitations to pay attention. Soul vulnerability often shows up through the body, through emotion, or through a quiet sense that something within us is asking to be heard. When we stay present, these experiences begin to reveal deeper meaning through the Jungian feminine, aging wisdom, and Jungian psychology depth.

For decades, we have been devoted to sharing the living wisdom of transformative teachers, preserving their voices in ways that remain true to their depth and presence. Our work brings forward teachings from leading spiritual visionaries, offering guidance that supports inner growth, emotional honesty, and a more embodied way of being .

Here, we look at Marion Woodman on the soul’s vulnerability and how listening to our deepest wisdom can guide a more grounded and aware life.

Key Takeaways:

  • Embodied Wisdom: Soul vulnerability reveals insight through the body, emotions, and inner experience.
  • Feminine Awareness: The Jungian feminine supports deeper listening, intuition, and connection to the psyche.
  • Aging Insight: Aging wisdom deepens reflection and helps integrate life experiences with greater clarity.

Discover the Hidden Power of Daily Meditation

Marion Woodman on Soul Vulnerability, Jungian Feminine, Aging Wisdom, and Jungian Psychology Depth

What does it mean to truly listen to the soul, especially in moments when we feel most exposed or uncertain? In the teachings of Marion Woodman, soul vulnerability is not something to avoid or overcome. It is a vital expression of the psyche asking for our attention. At Sounds True, we have long been devoted to sharing living wisdom in the authentic voices of transformative teachers, preserving insights that invite us into deeper presence and self-understanding. Woodman’s work within Jungian psychology offers a compassionate and embodied path toward this kind of listening. She reminds us that the Jungian feminine lives not in abstraction but in the body, in feeling, and in the rhythms of lived experience. As we grow and change, aging wisdom begins to shape how we meet our vulnerability. Rather than turning away, we are invited to stay, to sense, and to trust that something meaningful is unfolding within us.

Understanding Soul Vulnerability Through Jungian Feminine, Aging Wisdom, and Jungian Psychology Depth

Soul vulnerability often appears at the edges of our comfort. It may arise through loss, illness, transition, or moments when our usual ways of coping no longer hold. Within Jungian psychology, these moments are not seen as failures. They are invitations into a deeper relationship with the psyche.

Soul Vulnerability as an Opening to the Jungian Feminine

The Jungian feminine speaks in a language that is often quiet and symbolic. It is present in dreams, in bodily sensations, and in the subtle shifts of emotion that move through us. When we allow ourselves to experience soul vulnerability, we begin to soften the barriers that keep us disconnected from this inner voice. Woodman taught that the body is not separate from the psyche. It carries memory, truth, and intelligence. When we listen closely, we begin to recognize how the Jungian feminine guides us toward wholeness through feeling and presence rather than force or control.

Aging Wisdom and the Deepening of Jungian Psychology Depth

With time, our relationship to vulnerability changes. Aging wisdom brings perspective, allowing us to see how earlier experiences have shaped our inner life. Within Jungian psychology, this is part of the individuation process, a gradual unfolding of the self. Soul vulnerability becomes less overwhelming and more meaningful. We begin to trust that even difficult experiences carry insight. This trust does not remove pain, but it creates space for reflection and integration.

Soul Vulnerability and the Jungian Feminine in Aging Wisdom and Jungian Psychology Depth

As these elements come together, we begin to sense a different way of being with ourselves. There is less urgency to fix and more willingness to understand.

The Body as a Guide in Soul Vulnerability

Woodman’s work consistently returns to the body as a source of wisdom. Physical sensations, fatigue, or tension can reflect deeper emotional truths. When we approach these experiences with curiosity, we open a pathway into soul vulnerability. The Jungian feminine supports this process by inviting us to feel rather than analyze. Aging wisdom allows us to recognize patterns and respond with greater care. Over time, we learn that the body is not an obstacle but a guide.

Integrating Experience Through Jungian Psychology Depth

Integration within Jungian psychology depth involves holding complexity. We are not asked to eliminate contradiction but to remain present with it. Soul vulnerability allows us to acknowledge both strength and fragility. The Jungian feminine encourages us to stay connected to our inner experience, while aging wisdom reminds us that understanding unfolds gradually. This integration creates a sense of groundedness that supports authentic living.

Exploring Soul Vulnerability, Jungian Feminine, Aging Wisdom, and Jungian Psychology Depth

There is a natural rhythm to inner work that cannot be rushed. Woodman’s teachings invite us to honor that rhythm and to trust the unfolding process of the psyche.

The Role of Relationship in Soul Vulnerability

Relationships often bring our vulnerability into focus. They reflect aspects of ourselves that may remain hidden when we are alone. Through connection, we encounter both our capacity for love and our fears of being seen. The Jungian feminine encourages openness in these moments, while aging wisdom helps us respond with patience and understanding. Within Jungian psychology, depth and relationships are understood as essential to growth, offering mirrors that reveal where healing is needed.

Trusting the Unfolding of the Psyche

The psyche moves in cycles rather than straight lines. There are times of clarity and times of uncertainty. Soul vulnerability is part of this movement. The Jungian feminine invites us to remain present with what is emerging, even when it feels unclear. Aging wisdom supports a longer view, helping us recognize that meaning often appears over time. Within Jungian psychology, this unfolding is part of becoming more fully ourselves.

Learn How your Mind Really Works with Sounds True

The Jungian Feminine, Soul Vulnerability, Aging Wisdom, and Jungian Psychology Depth in Practice

Bringing these insights into daily life can begin with small, intentional shifts in attention. We do not need to change everything at once. We can begin by listening more closely.

  • Take time for quiet reflection each day, allowing space for inner awareness to arise naturally
  • Notice bodily sensations without judgment, recognizing them as expressions of the psyche
  • Record dreams or images that stay with you, honoring their symbolic meaning
  • Engage in creative practices that allow feeling and imagination to take form
  • Reflect on life experiences and how they have contributed to your growing aging wisdom

These practices are gentle invitations. They support a relationship with soul vulnerability that is rooted in care rather than pressure. Over time, they help cultivate a deeper connection to the Jungian feminine and the insights of Jungian psychology depth.

Aging Wisdom, Soul Vulnerability, Jungian Feminine, and Jungian Psychology Depth in Inner Work

Inner work asks for honesty and patience. It is not always comfortable, yet it is deeply meaningful. Aging wisdom brings a willingness to reflect rather than react. Soul vulnerability becomes a guide, pointing toward areas that call for attention. The Jungian feminine supports a compassionate approach, one that honors both the body and the emotions that arise. Within the depth of Jungian psychology, this work is essential to individuation. It invites us to engage with unconscious material and bring it into awareness. As we do so, we begin to experience a sense of coherence within ourselves. We are no longer divided between what we show and what we hide. Instead, we move toward a more integrated way of being.

Soul Vulnerability and Aging Wisdom Through the Lens of Jungian Feminine and Jungian Psychology Depth

As we continue to listen to the soul, vulnerability begins to feel less threatening. It becomes a source of guidance. Aging wisdom allows us to recognize patterns and approach them with greater openness. The Jungian feminine deepens our connection to feeling and intuition, helping us navigate the complexities of inner life. Within Jungian psychology, this transformation reflects a growing relationship with the self. Soul vulnerability is no longer something to resist. It is something to honor.

Integrating Soul Vulnerability, Jungian Feminine, Aging Wisdom, and Jungian Psychology Depth

Integration is a living process that unfolds over time. It asks for attention, patience, and a willingness to remain open. Soul vulnerability remains at the center, inviting us to stay connected to our experience. The Jungian feminine offers a way of understanding the body, emotion, and imagination as sources of wisdom. Aging wisdom deepens our capacity to reflect and integrate what we have lived. Within Jungian psychology depth, this movement toward wholeness is ongoing. As we continue to listen, we begin to sense a quiet alignment within ourselves. It is not something we force. It emerges through presence, through care, and through a growing trust in the intelligence of the soul.

Awaken Your Inner Healing Power with Guided Practices by Sounds True

Final Thoughts

Soul vulnerability invites us to stay present with our inner experience, even when it feels uncertain. Through the lens of the Jungian feminine, aging wisdom, and Jungian psychology depth, we begin to recognize this vulnerability as a source of insight rather than something to overcome.

Over time, this way of listening deepens our connection to ourselves, shaping a more grounded and attentive way of being.

Frequently Asked Questions About Marion Woodman and Soul Vulnerability

What is Marion Woodman best known for in spiritual psychology?

Marion Woodman is known for her work in analytical psychology, particularly her focus on embodiment, the feminine psyche, and the relationship between psyche and soma.

How does Marion Woodman define the soul in her teachings?

She often describes the soul as a living presence expressed through the body, dreams, and emotions rather than something abstract or separate from daily life.

What role does the body play in Jungian psychology depth?

The body is seen as an essential messenger of the unconscious, offering signals that reflect deeper psychological and emotional realities.

How is the Jungian feminine different from traditional ideas of femininity?

The Jungian feminine refers to an archetypal energy present in all people, emphasizing receptivity, intuition, and connection to inner life rather than gender roles.

Why is aging wisdom important in inner development?

Aging wisdom brings perspective, helping individuals reflect on life experiences and integrate lessons that support emotional and spiritual maturity.

How can someone begin studying Jungian psychology depth?

Many begin through books, guided courses, therapy, or lectures that introduce core concepts like archetypes, dreams, and the unconscious.

What makes Marion Woodman’s teachings relevant today?

Her emphasis on embodiment and emotional honesty resonates in a time when many feel disconnected from their inner lives and physical experience.

Can soul vulnerability support creative expression?

Yes, being open to vulnerability often allows deeper emotional material to surface, which can enrich creative practices like writing, art, or movement.

How do dreams relate to soul vulnerability?

Dreams can reveal hidden emotions and symbolic messages, offering insight into areas where the psyche seeks attention or healing.

Is Jungian psychology’s depth connected to spiritual practice?

While rooted in psychology, it often intersects with spirituality by addressing meaning, purpose, and the experience of the inner self.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator's Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

2 comments on Holiday Help for Those in Grief

  1. Anonymous says:

    It’s been 7 yrs since my husband died and I’m finding this year to be tougher than ever. Getting weary of living life this way.

  2. Sonia Heath says:

    My husband, Rick, didn’t wake up last Christmas (2017). He hadn’t been I’ll, he just didn’t wake up. In 16 years we spent a total of 10 days apart and now its almost a year. I still expect him to come in the front door saying, “Honey, I’m home.” I miss him so much. The holidays are here again and its not like I can ignore it…its all around me. I wish I could sleep and not wake up until after New Years.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *