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Kristin Neff: The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion

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September 17, 2019
Psychology Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff: The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff — September 17, 2019

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Kristin Neff is an associate professor at the University of Texas and the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. With Sounds True, she has recently published the audio program The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Kristin about why it’s so difficult for so many people to treat themselves with actual compassion. Kristin explains that self-compassion is not some form of self-indulgence or excuse for bad behavior; indeed, there are actually various forms of self-compassion that arise in different situations. Tami and Kristin explore the roots of wrathful or angry self-compassion, including the mythological figures that embody this concept. Finally, they discuss the most common blocks to self-assertive compassion and the necessity of taking occasional “self-compassion breaks” to cultivate a better relationship within. (64 minutes)

Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion more than twenty years ago. She has been recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide. Kristin runs the Self-Compassion Community, an online learning platform where people can learn the skill of self-compassion with the help of others. She is author of the bestselling books Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-Compassion. Along with her colleague Chris Germer, she developed the empirically-supported Mindful Self-Compassion program and co-founded the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. They co-wrote the best-selling “The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook” and have a new book called “Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout” coming out in Fall 2024. For more info go to self-compassion.org.

Posted September 17, 2019
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Each week on Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon interviews leading voices in the Mind/Body/Spirit space about a vast spectrum of fascinating ideas. Since 2009, Tami and her guests have been exploring the edge of understanding, nearly 1,000 episodes on the honest work of change, including spiritual discovery, awakening, intuition, purpose, trauma, and grief.

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Kristin Neff — September 17, 2019

Kristin Neff is an associate professor at the University of Texas and the author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. With Sounds True, she has recently published the audio program The Yin and Yang of Self-Compassion. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Kristin about why it’s so difficult for so many people to treat themselves with actual compassion. Kristin explains that self-compassion is not some form of self-indulgence or excuse for bad behavior; indeed, there are actually various forms of self-compassion that arise in different situations. Tami and Kristin explore the roots of wrathful or angry self-compassion, including the mythological figures that embody this concept. Finally, they discuss the most common blocks to self-assertive compassion and the necessity of taking occasional “self-compassion breaks” to cultivate a better relationship within. (64 minutes)

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Tami’s Takeaway
In any moment of self-criticism or self-blame, a “go-to move” that is immediately effective and state-changing is to gently touch your arm, stroke your face, or place your hand on your heart (any form of soothing touch). This activates our mammalian “tend and befriend” system, releases oxytocin, and shifts us out of the threat-defense system. Try it next time you feel self-critical. Gently touching your body can shift your state of mind—fast!

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Together, they reveal why self-compassion isn’t just a psychological tool for feeling better—it’s a direct path to recognizing who we really are beyond our limited sense of self.

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  • Why every moment of self-compassion is a moment of “letting go of identification with the small, separate, limited self”
  • The difference between witnessing awareness and embodied loving awareness—and why it matters
  • How gender conditioning shapes our relationship to both compassion and awakening practices
  • The power of “relational dharma” and why we sometimes need another person to help us access self-compassion
  • A guided practice for moving from suffering into the “stance-less stance” of presence

If you’ve practiced self-compassion but sensed there’s something deeper available, or if awakening teachings have felt too abstract or disembodied, this conversation offers a bridge between heart and awareness that could transform your practice.

This conversation offers genuine transmission—not just concepts about awakening, but the palpable presence of realized teachers exploring the growing edge of spiritual understanding together. Originally aired on Sounds True One.

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